Poifect!
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Well, by now it's no secret that the 40 year old intimidator, Randy Johnson, pitched history's 17th perfect game, but also became the oldest in history to do so, surpassing none other than CY YOUNG, and, did so against my own privately hated Atlanta Braves, whose rapid demise I have watched with glee so far this season.

Oddly enough, not even this accomplish, nor being the ace of the staff will likely save Randy Johnson from Pinstripes by September.

And please, let us stop the whingeing about the bad luck of pitching a one-hitter on the night a perfect game is thrown. Jason Schmidt, in case you hadn't heard, "almost" doesn't count - unless you're hunting for WMDs, one supposes...

In case you were interested, here are all the perfect games ever pitched:

American League

Cy Young
05-05-1904
Boston 3, Philadelphia 0

Addie Joss
10-02-1908
Cleveland 1, Chicago 0

Charlie Robertson
04-30-1922
Chicago 2, Detroit 0

Don Larsen
10-08-1956
New York 2, Brooklyn 0*

Catfish Hunter
05-08-1968
Oakland 4, Minnesota 0

Len Barker
05-15-1981
Cleveland 3, Toronto 0

Mike Witt
09-30-1984
California 1, Texas 0

Kenny Rogers
07-28-1994
Texas 4, California 0

David Wells
05-17-1998
New York 4, Minnesota 0

David Cone
07-18-1999
New York 6, Montreal 0

* - Game 5, 1956 World Series

National League

Lee Richmond
06-12-1880
Worcester 1, Cleveland 0

Monte Ward
06-17-1880
Providence 5, Buffalo 0

Jim Bunning
06-21-1964
Philadelphia 6, New York 0

Sandy Koufax
09-09-1965
Los Angeles 1, Chicago 0

Tom Browning
09-16-1988
Cincinnati 1, Los Angeles 0

Dennis Martinez
07-28-1991
Montreal 2, Los Angeles 0

Randy Johnson
05-18-2004
Arizona 2, Atlanta 0

If you're like me, you're probably wondering, who the fuck is Lee Richmond? Well, if you're keeping score, on June 12, 1880 John Lee Richmond of the Worcestor Ruby Legs pitched the first perfect game in Major League history.

*****
Vive La Midwest

In the ongoing battle between Cincinnati, Detroit and Chicago of which city has the most resurgent baseball team in the Midwest, the Cincinnati Reds remain slightly ahead of the pack.

Even with their 21-18 record, there's plenty of excitement now that Austin Kearns has returned from DL after batting .357 (10-for-28) with two home runs and eight RBIs during a Triple-A rehab assignment in Louisville.

Ryan Freel, the new Charlie Hustle, according to the Post's Lonnie Wheeler, and is hitting .367 (11-for-30) in nine consecutive starts.

But he is just pure excitement:

"Were you watching the seventh inning Saturday night from Los Angeles? Did you see the Reds right fielder disappear into the stands? It was like science fiction, somebody slipping through a force field into another dimension, the way he vanished from the playing area. Didn't even slow down. This man will be the undoing of the warning-track industry.

Freel didn't catch the ball, but that was beside the point. He did catch an elderly woman in the face with his leg, then, as her head snapped back, he caught her again with the other leg. He felt terrible about that. He kept saying he was sorry and coming back and checking on her, until they wheeled her out. He gave her a bat. He was deeply relieved when the man next to her gave him a thumbs-up, indicating that she'd be all right."

In Cleveland, "The New American City", the Indians are six games off the pace in the AL Central at 18-21 but there is still plenty to root for.

Why just this week Victor Martinez was named the American League Player of the Week (along with the Twins Joe Nathan). According to the Cleveland Indians Report, in five games last week, the Tribe backstop had four multi-hit games and raked to the tune of .429/.458/.762 (9-for-21) averages with four doubles, one longball, and a league-leading 10 RBIs.

And just so you know the Indians didn't get nuttin' for Bartolo Colon, have a look at Cliff Lee, who was a virtual nobody when he came to Cleveland in June of 2002 as part of the package of players the Indians received in exchange for ace Bartolo Colon. Lee is now 5-0 with a 2.96 ERA in 8 starts for the Indians.

Which brings us to the The Motor City home to the 19-20 Detroit Tigers AND of course, The White Stripes.

"Soft hair and a velvet tongue
I want to give you what you give to me
and every breath that is in your lungs
is a tiny little gift to me
is a tiny little gift to me" - from Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground.

Anyway, Detroit might be a little preoccupied with thoughts of tonight's Game Seven against the NJ Nets, but the rebirth of the Tigers is a story not to be missed.

If the current season isn't exciting enough for you, The Tiger Blog is doing a retro on their 1984 World Championship season.

Is Ivan Rodriguez the best free agent pick-up two season's running or what? After helping lead the Marlins to a World Championship last season, he's got the Tigers looking exciting whilst hitting .352 with 7 bangers and 32 ribbies. Oh yeah, and with three stolen bases, he's stolen more bases than he's allowed.


*****

For those who missed it, following Sammy Sosa's sneezing back spasms, Tom Boswell had a good article on The Weird, Wacky World of Baseball Injuries:

"Sosa now joins the great tradition of comic "disabled" Cubs outfielders, which is led by Jose Cardenal, who couldn't play on Opening Day in 1974 because he said he slept wrong and his eyelid was stuck shut. Two seasons earlier, Cardenal had told manager Whitey Lockman he couldn't play because crickets in his hotel room kept him up all night."

On the other hand, the ever-quixotic But it's a Dry Heat Diamondbacks blog notes:

"Elsewhere, thanks to David B for bringing this up over on Diamondbacks Bullpen. "Jason Giambi sat out last night's game with back spasms. On the same day, Sammy Sosa is placed on the disabled list with...back spasms [Allegedly caused by a sneeze, which is right out of the Brian Anderson playbook!]. That followed on the heels of Barry Bonds missing last weekends series with the Pirates due to...back spasms. And Bret Boone sat out five of six game on last weeks road trip on account of...back spasms. Giambi...Sosa...Bonds...Boone. I wonder....nah, must just be coincidence."

A subsequent post says that these are one of the symptoms of withdrawal from steroids - it's the muscles in the body crying out for their little helper. I also note with interest that Bonds' last homer was on April 29th, which is 20 days and counting. He's now surpassed his 23 June-12 July 2001 drought, and that one included the All-Star break. Yep: just a coincidence."

*****

Before the cost of tickets get too prohibitive, can I be one of the first to jump on the Daniel Cabrera Bandwagon?

Daniel Cabrera, a 6-foot-7 right-hander who was pitching at the Class A level a year ago, earned his second win since he was called up from the minors last week, leading Baltimore over the Seattle Mariners 7-2 Tuesday night.

So far, Cabrera is 2-0 with a 1.42 ERA in 12 2-3 innings spanning two starts.

Nothing to Sneeze At

Yeah, yeah. Surely everyone's making fun of it. In an incident nearly as bizarre as getting caught with a corked bat last season, Sammy Sosa was held out of a game the other night because of back spasms caused by sneezing. Sosa was talking to somebody in the Cubs clubhouse Sunday when he stopped to sneeze twice. After the second sneeze, Sosa doubled over in pain against the chair next to his locker.

Sosa was laughing, but at the same time, he was in pain.

"It's like a spasm," he said in Spanglish, pointing to his lower back.

Sure enough, Sosa became a late lineup scratch for the game against the Padres because of the spasms. Todd Hollandsworth replaced Sosa in right field.

Christ, if he gets a full blown cold, his head might explode.

*****

Who Framed Roger Clemens

They were making it sound like vengeance the other night when Piazza spoiled Roger Clemens' bid for his eighth straight win with a tying homer in the ninth off Octavio Dotel but you gotta wonder how hard up fans and the media are for vengeance when there were so many juicy factors missing.

First of all, Piazza went 0 for 2 when he actually had to bat against Clemens, including being struck out. Hardly what you might call revenge. More like continued humiliation. So when you read more deeply into the face off, Piazza failed and would have likely continued to fail had the Astros not sent former Met Octavio Dotel in to face him in the 9th.

Second of all, how does spoiling someone's 8th victory in a row equal getting beaned in the head and being humiliated in the World Series by having the guy toss the barrel of a broken bat at you?

He didn't give Clemens his first loss of the season and even if he had, Clemens is 41 years old and is having one of his best season in years, hardly a "spoiler" in the classic sense. So Piazza hits the homerun that ties the game and spoils Clemens chances for an 8th victory but not his chances for an undefeated season and doesn't do anything but scratch when he actually has to face Clemens.

Hitting a homerun off of Dotel instead of Clemens sort of reminds me of something like Piazza going after skinny little Guillermo Mota in Spring Training instead of taking on Roger Clemens in the World Series like a man. A sneaky way of vengeance. Sort of like hitting more homeruns than any catcher, but doing it as one of the worst defensive catchers in baseball history.

Please to spare me the hystrionics. Piazza had plenty of chances to make a man of himself against Clemens and time and again, he has been found lacking. Hitting a homerun against Octavio Dotel doesn't "spoil" anything for Clemens. It isn't revenge. It's just another example of Piazza going about things in a half-arsed way that makes him appear more than he is.

The only thing more outrageous to come out of Piazza in the last several days was his recent admission that

"You know what? It's funny. If I would have known the way I feel after a couple of days playing first, I probably would have thought about doing it a few years ago. Just playing the two nights in a row (at first base) and then getting behind the plate (Friday), I feel fresher," Piazza said. "I feel better receiving the ball, blocking the ball, things like that. Especially at this time. Maybe 10 years ago it didn't make a difference, but now it's essential, I think."

Yup, that's real funny, Piazza. You sacrifice the good of the team in your selfish pursuit of Carlton Fisk's record and then you turn around and say, wow, you know what, haha, I should have been playing first base all along....

Well, the funniest thing of all might be yet to come. The comedic justice of the year will be to see Piazza catch Clemens in the 2004 All-Star game in Houston.

Blog Watch

El Lefty Malo notes that

"Sorting through the stats this morning, I thought to myself, "Hmm, is Neifi Perez truly the worst hitter in the major leagues?"

Of the 189 position players listed in ESPN's sortable stats, Neifi indeed ranks last in OPS at .512. The second worst is Derek Jeter, at .528...

Boomer Goes Boom

Don't look now, but David Wells has found yet another way to injure himself.

The lefty, now pitching for San Diego, cut his right wrist and left palm, apparently in an "accident" at home, and is expected to miss his next two starts.

"It was not a fight," Padres GM Towers felt compelled to clarify. "It happened at his home. It sounds like he cut himself with some glass. How he did that, I don't know."

Free Beer

I have to admit, I'm not much of a hockey fan at all. I don't even watch it during the Stanley Cup finals if I can help it. But if free beer is the way into every man's heart, then the Tampa Bay Lightning have just become my de facto favourite hockey team.

"During the first Eastern Conference playoff game between the Lightning and the Philadelphia Flyers Saturday, the St. Pete Times Forum's main scoreboard advertised the offer. Those who paid $100 toward 2004-05 season tickets were eligible for unlimited free beer during the game."

On the other hand, giant plastic/paper cups of flat, gassy Budweiser or Coors Light is not my idea of beer so unless they've got some real ale in the bargain, it's a useless offer to me.

But an "A" for effort, guys. At the very least, I'll be rooting for the Lightning to win the Stanley Cup this year.

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." Mark Twain

Oh, no! Not another pietistic excoriation on the evils of selling baseball bases -- as well as home plate, the pitching rubber and the on-deck circles -- as advertising space for a movie sequel! We couldn't stomach that! So in lieu of unbridled canting on baseball's latest controversy, let's ease into an overall ambience of aimless drifting...

Bits and Bobs

On the wings of a monsterous start to the 2004, speculation has already begun on the chances that Bonds can hit .400

There have been only eight men who have hit .400 while eligible for the batting championship since 1900, and it has been done a total of 13 times. Those men are Ty Cobb (1911, 1912, 1922), Rogers Hornsby (1922, 1924, 1925), George Sisler (1920, 1922), Nap Lajoie (1901), Shoeless Joe Jackson (1911), Harry Heilmann (1923), Bill Terry (1930), and, of course, Ted Williams (1941).

That makes 13 times, 3 of them in 1922. Where were the call for steroids back then? Where were the outrages of why in 1922, three different players hit .400?

23 percent of all .400 seasons came in 1922.

Three players alone made up eight of those seasons in total. Three players made up 62% of all .400 seasons all time. Were they, like Bonds, playing as though from another planet altogether? Did they have howls of cheating in their ears?

*****

And at the other end of the spectrum:
Bowas Without Bats


.215 with less than two outs.

.173 with two outs.

.194 overall.

What are those numbers? The Phillies' batting averages with runners in scoring position before last night's game against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Bank One Ballpark. Take away Burrell and Bell and the team is hitting .149 (26 for 174) with runners in scoring position.

The Phillies averaged 4.3 runs per game in their first 26 games, which ranked 12th in the National League. Their .244 batting average ranked ahead of only Montreal. Their .328 on-base percentage tied for 13th.

Move over Art Howe and the Mets. You just may not be the most mediocre any more.

Baseball Across The Time Zone Ocean via Radio
"A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure." -- Segal's Law

Got home in time last night to listen to the sole MLB "day game" via WHB in KC, to my preseason AL Central favourite-ChiSox pound their division rival KC Royals in their renovated US Cellular Field home opener. US Cellular Field has been the butt of jokes and an object of derision since it opened as the "new" Comiskey Park in 1991. According to the reviews, the latest renovations lend an "old" Comiskey feel to the South Side ballyard. A refurbished upper deck, an expanded center-field "fan deck" and a fresh paint job were among $28 million in off-season improvements.

Two things that jumped out me (and neither of them were drunken Chisox fans leaping over the rail onto the field): Cy Young 2003 bridesmaid, Esteban Loiza, 21-9 with a 2.90 ERA last season, appears to need more time to find his top form, surrendering 4 homeruns in a failed effort to give up the victory single-handedly. Secondly are the Chisox bats, and in particular, Paul Konerko is looking as though he wants to make up for all the wretched impressions he's given fans over the last season and a half. He's batting .370 with six runs batted in their first seven games. While you're at it, you might note that the Fearsome Foursome of Frank Thomas, Magglio Ordonez, Konerko and Carlos Lee, appear anxious to repeat 2000, the last time the Sox took their division, when those four combined for 120 home runs and 458 RBIs.

How about those Venezuelans? By all accounts, Ozzie Guillen is not a manager who is going to allow talent to go to waste in favour of player ego. Meanwhile, Chico Carrasquel and Luis Aparicio, fellow Venezuelans who preceded Ozzie Guillen as All-Star shortstops for the Sox, joined new manager Guillen in throwing out ceremonial first pitches. We already remember Aparicio, but this Carrasquel feller...he was a 4 time All Star for the Sox in the 50s before being traded with Jim Busby to the Cleveland Indians for Larry Doby. However, Chico's MLB accomplishments pale in comparison to the understated grandeur of Estadio Alfonso Chico Carrasquel.

The Old Man and the Cards

Our grandest of dreams remain dashed. Whilst Andy Pettitte assures the world his cranky elbow nothing to panic over, Roger Clemens continues to defy the logical world outside of Nolan Ryan, this time moving past Terrific Tom Seaver in moving to 2-0 in April 2004, and shutting down the St Louis Cardinals on one run and two hits over 6 2/3 innings. His ERA, in the days we shall remember with dread and revulsion, is 0.66 in his two starts of the 2004 season.

The old man, who might still join the Hall of Fame in an Astros hat, was consistently hitting 93 mph into the sixth as he neared his 105 pitch total that earned a mere 3 strikeouts. Perhaps he was concentrating on hitting out in his two official at-bats to drop his 2004 batting average to .250. Four at bats and not a single fastball under his chin. Is Clemens the only philsopher on the mound who believes that hitting batters is a good way to keep them off the plate?

More notable to Astros fans might be Octavio Dotel's continued jitterbugging from the bullpen. Dotel gave up back-to-back homers to Jim Edmonds and Scott Rolen to lead off the ninth, but finally got the final four outs for his first save of the season.

Rally Monkies Bigger Than Mariner's Bullpen

Then, as dawn broke over the misty sheep fields of Warwickshire, the Rally Monkey was busy making its first appearance of the 2004 season as I listened over KOMO radio in Seattle. It isn't enough that the un-Met, Vladimir Guerrero, hit his third homer of the young season while Met fans pray collectively that a certain disc might herniate a certain former free agent to the disabled list in a vain effort to prove that tossing that much money on "damaged goods" would have resulted in just another Fat Mo. The Mariners were up 4-2 until the 6th when Bengie Molina hit a two run homer to tie the score. From thereonafter, it was only a matter of time for the Mariner's leaky bullpen to disintegrate. The "Herky Jerky Lefty" Mike Myers did a number on Mariner hopes by sheparding

Yup, looks like the Mariners, in losing their 4th straight game against the Angels, blowing 4-0 leads, are conceding the AL West already, choking a good four months earlier than usual. They have given up an unprecedented number of runs when they already have two outs. Last night's game saw them surrender two two-run homers with two outs. Whaddaya know, Mariners, holding steady in last place with one win in seven games thus far. Good. That's for Starbucks, baby.

Can anyone say "Repeat"?

Marlins sensation Miguel Cabrera homered twice, drove in three runs and extended his hitting streak to seven games and Brad Penny struck out ten and gave up only two hits over 8 innings as the Marlins continued their hold on first place.

In what should be a continued battle all season, it might be fun to keep a running count of basic batting stats between Cabrera and St Louis' Albert Pujols.

Thus far:

Cabrera: 7 games, 1.000 slugging, .429 OBP, .385 batting average, 5 homers, 8 rbis in 26 at bats. For those of you playing at home, that pans out to about 116 homers and 185 ribbies for the season. And they say that the dismissal of steroids and the advent of supahstah pitchers spell the doom of such numbers...

Pujols: 9 games, .725 slugging, .405 OBP, .294 batting average, 4 homers and 11 rbis in 34 at bats. You can almost feel him losing his grip on everyone's favourite phenom, can't you?

Of course, when you're thinking about MVP again, you're thinking about Barry Bonds, who after hitting 661 doesn't appear to wither from the steroid critics who have still only proven by implication, not by fact.

Bonds: 8 games, .960 slugging, .588 OBP, .440 batting average, 3 homers and 8 rbis in 28 at bats.

Home Openers In Three Cities
"Begin at the beginning, the King said gravely, and go till you come to the end, then stop." - Lewis Carroll

660 in San Francisco

The SBC Park capacity crowd of 42,548 gave Bonds two standing ovations before the home opener even started. Perhaps in deference to the boos he received whilst playing away and hearing all the sarcasm about steroids tainting his power and grace.

The third standing ovation came in the fifth inning, when Bonds turned on a 3-1 inside fastball from Milwaukee's Matt Kinney and hit a 442-foot home run into McCovey Cove that tied his godfather, Willie Mays, for third on baseball's career home run list. This was the 28th dinger Bonds has homered into the water. It was also Bonds's fourth in five home openers in SF and he finished the day 3 for 3 with four runs batted in and a walk.

Guess those steroids are really kicking in now, eh fellahs?

According to El Lefty Malo, a half-inning after Barry hit the big one, Jon Miller was hyping a "Barry Bonds 660" commemorative hat + T-shirt package for the low, low price of $42.

Better still, Bonds' 3 run banger gave the Giants a 5-4 lead. Like, why were they pitching to him with two outs, two men on and a stiff like Pierzynski on deck? "Maybe I'm just too stupid to walk him every time," Brewers manager Ned Yost said. Yes, maybe so. Too stupid. Good credentials for being the Brewers manager.

Shea Stadium

With a lineup that resembled the B squad more than the starters, Cliff Floyd on the disabled list, Mike Piazza on the mend and Jos? Reyes rehabilitating in Port St. Lucie, Fla., the Mets thrashed the hated Atlanta Braves EVEN with Shane Spencer and Todd Zeile hitting third and fourth in the batting order. In doing so, the Mets took over sole ownership of second place. Heady days indeed.

A magnetic resonance imaging test on Floyd's right quadriceps revealed a strain, but the injury was not as serious as initially feared. Piazza said he should be able to return from his strained right elbow in a couple of days, and Karim Garcia said he hoped to play tomorrow despite a fractured left ring finger.

Matsui, in his Shea debut, reached base three times, drove in two runs with a double, and raised his on-base percentage to .529. Sushi concession at Shea? Cameron, in his Shea debut, made one stunning catch running straight toward the fence and also knocked in two runs with two hits. Not bad.

Perhaps best of all, they had seven runs in two and two-thirds innings against Met no-wanna be and habitual liar, Mike Hampton. Not so happy now, are yea, Mr Hampton? "Hamp-ton, Hamp-ton," "fans taunted the loser and liar, who allegedly left here for the fine Colorado schools, not the $121-million contract that the Rockies quickly regretted bestowing upon him."

Wrigley Field

A decidedly unhappier story opened Wrigley's 2004 season with Greg Maddux taking the mound for the Cubs at Wrigley for the first time in 12 years, Maddux gave up six runs, five of them earned, on eight hits with five walks in 3 2/3 innings. His record dropped to 0-2, and his ERA rose to 7.45. The Cubs lost by a 13-2 margin to the lowly Pirates of Pittsburgh. Seven games into a new season, Kerry Wood is the only Cubs starting pitcher who has won a game and one wonders how long before Cubs fans overreact to the slow start. They are now two games behind the "first place" Cincinnati Reds!

Outside the park, sidewalk vendors peddled cute "Curse Breaker" stuffed billy goats for $10. The Miller beer billboard in the right-field corner had a new motto in place: "Curse Quenching."

It didn't take long for Cubs fans to see the bigger picture. The sellout crowd of 40,483 began booing when Maddux continued to struggle in the third inning after giving up five runs in the second.

Of course, isn't this the modus operandus of Maddux early in the season? Over the past three seasons (2001-2003) he has a 4.06 ERA and a less-than-sterling 7-7 record.

Chances are, when it comes to August and September, Cubbies will be able to rely on Maddux as a cherished third starter.

The Elbow That The Long Term Contract Forgot

"The left elbow has always awaited that final, fat contract before squawking its last protest and blowing out entirely. I'd even imagined that while signing the contract with the Astros, it will later be revealed, the final flourish in his signature was the telling blow and that horrific ligament damage had been sustained in the left elbow even as the ink was drying." - Sports Amnesia, 11th December 2003 on the Pettitte signing.

Everyone Is Doing It: So Shall I

Since tis the season, etc., predictions, baseball in the air (well, not here, on the Channel coast) but in other places, surely, here are the Official 2004 Sports Amnesia Baseball Predictions and the Governing Logic behind them:

AL East: Boston, NYY, Toronto, Tampa Bay, Baltimore:

Yes, the Red Sox-Yankee hatred is incubating nicely. But I agree with the lads at East Coast Agony. This shouldn't be of concern to the casual Tiger or the wallowing Royal. This rivalry is about two primary East Coast cities. As usual, in situations where the outcome is uncertain or too close to gauge, I rely upon the arbitrary logic to see me through. I can't just pick the Sox because I hate the Yankees. Well, I could, but what wouldn't be entirely accurate any more. Over the last season, I've developed a pleasant disgust for Red Sox fans as well. Too many of them appear to be right wing zealots mouthing Irish Catholic Conservative vitriol in addition to their anti-Yankee bonbons. Pedro spends more time whining than pitching and fails every time in the clutch against the Yankees. Manny Ramirez is a punk. The only thing I like about the Red Sox is Curt Schilling. The Sox lost the battle for A-Rod, but all hitting aside, the Yankees rotation and the Yankees bullpen and the Yankees age will prove to be their Achilles Heels. I'd take Toronto for second but for the fact that they haven't got a Steinbrenner and a trillion dollar cable tv rights contract that will allow them to buy up the remaining All Stars left standing once the Yankees are done pissing and spitting, is a severe disadvantage. Plus Toronto sucks as a city and frankly, only one Canadian team a year deserves the post season. Sox get the nod even though they didn't get the Rod.

AL Central: Chicago WhiteSox, Kansas City, Minnesota, Cleveland, Detroit

You can listen all you want to the tales of Minnesota's farm system, the one that churns out clutch postseason players like Celine Dion churns out stomach-turning songs, but their losses were too heavy this offseason to just grin and bear and yank another young lad up to the stage by the earlobe. Besides, haven't you heard? The White Sox are warning of a mystery man and have already traded for Timo Perez. Fat Frank Thomas, underachieving Paul Konerko and dissatisfied Magglio Ordonez make up quite a team of malcontents. But look, KC can't surprise anyone this season and I-Rod is dumb enough to leave a World Champion for the dustbin. There's no one left. White Sox by default.

AL West: Oakland A's, Anaheim Angels, Seattle Mariners, Texas

Let's get this straight. Seattle will never win anything because they chokechokechoke. Every year. You can look it up. Secondly, the Angels with their hiphop hispanic makeover and the Latino Quarter in the ownership bin are not going anywhere but into the aisles of disappointment. No team spends trillions on free agency and wins. Apparently, the new ownership missed that fact. Oakland has the pitching and we all know how much Sports Amnesia loves the pitching. Oh, and you can be sure that Texas isn't going anywhere until Buck Showalter is fired because no team that Buck Showalter manages ever wins a championship until after he leaves the building.

WC: NY Yankees

Law of averages. You can't spend a trillion dollars and not win something.


NL East: Montreal, Atlanta, NY Mets, Philadelphia, Florida

Montreal are my 2004 Team From Nowhere. Last year it was Florida, the year before, it was Anaheim. This year it will be the Expos. Why? Because the NL East is the weakest division in MLB and is totally up for grabs. Momentum will build up and who knows, if we're all lucky, there will be another Selig-manufactured debacle of catostrophic importance, like the World Series being played in Hiram Boca Stadium, or whatever the fuck that minor league stadium in Puerto Rico where a team from Canada plays most of their home games is called. If a French Canadian team playing in a Spanish-speaking islet isn't the recipe for success in MLB's idiotic hierarchy these days, than I don't know what is. Phuck Philly. They aren't going anywhere with a rabid rodent like Larry Bowa at the helm. Millwood will suck this year. The bullpen will suck and no one will be around to back up Jim Thome. Atlanta? A distant memory. Florida? They've got Armandogeddon closing, enough said. My Mets? A whiplash accident waiting to happen. The Expos are my Shadow Team of 2004.

NL Central: Chicago, Houston, St Louis, Cincinnati, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh

Yeah, this is real hard. A team with one of the best managers in baseball, best pitching staff and a long legacy of losing against a team from Texas which has tried to buy its way into competition by hiring half the Yankees starting rotation. Roger Clemens sucks and I look forward to seeing him gathering dust on the DL alongside his shipmate and possible between the lines lover, Andy Pettitte. The only team with an outside shot of topping the Cubs are the Reds and that's only if Junior hits 75 homeruns because I'm so tired of hearing how Junior is back juxtaposed with all the Junior for Who trade speculation. Any division with Milwaukee and Pittsburgh deserves their obscurity.

NL West: Arizona, San Fran, SD, LA

Wow, a tossup, isn't it, between a bunch of teams that suck. Sounds disturbingly similar to the NL East without Bonds and without Randy Johnson. That is what this season comes down to: Who has a better season, Randy Johnson, or Barry Bonds. The Dodgers have no hitting and their pitching is rapidly waning. SD is well, SD. No amount of splashy free agent retread signings are going to change that. Without steroids, Bonds is going to get hurt more often meaning the Giants will have to win without him, which they can't. Advantage, Arizona.

WC: Atlanta: The logic behind this is that now that they have no one, they might actually overachieve instead of underachieve when the games actually mean something.

ALCS: White Sox over Oakland: I've just got a feeling about the White Sox. Nausea. But, frankly, the Red Sox can't stop second guessing themselves and the Yankees aren't going anywhere without a shopping cart. I give the nod to the White Sox because the Yankees will still be jet-lagged by Japan. Pobre Oakland. All those arms and no titles. Beaneball, Scummyball, fuck em all.

NLCS: Montreal over Chicago Cubs: How about a redux of last year's last minute collapse? Even though it is the year of the Cubs, the truth of the matter is, the Expos will be playing without a curse hovering over them.

AL MVP: Eric Chavez, Oakland
NL MVP: Randy Johnson, Arizona
AL Cy Young: Curt Schilling, Boston
NL Cy Young: Randy Johnson, Chicago Cubs

WORLD SERIES:

Montreal Expos over Chicago White Sox: Just another Seligful moment in a brief hysterectomy of time.

*****
Adu to Make Debut next Saturday, perhaps opening American eyes to football.

I'm Tired and I Need Some Sushi

Hula Howe removed Kaz Matsui after four innings and will give his shortstop a day off Saturday. "He's worked so hard that he's physically tired," Howe said. Matsui will not travel with the team to Orlando.

Matsui, who played 1,143 straight games in Japan, said he is "very grateful" for the day off. He went 0-for-2 Friday and is 10-for-53 (.189) in spring training. "A little fatigue has built up," he said. "I'm a little tired, yes."

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick! He's tired after a few weeks of Spring Training?!? Half of which was spent on the DL??? What's he going to be like in June, retired? Bad Omen Number 200.

At least someone still appreciates Bobby V. The folks in Japan have even built a shrine for him.


Most Optimistic of Opening Day Lineups:


Cameron CF .366-3-8 with 3 SBs
Matsui SS .196-1-5 with 1 SB
Reyes 2B .320-0-3 with 1 SB
Piazza C .364-4-16
Floyd LF .333-1-6
Wiggy 3B .306-2-6 with 3 SBs
Phillips 1B .260-3-6
R Gonzo RF .292-5-8

Pitcher:

Glavine 0-2 1.50
Leiter 1-0 5.00
Trachsel 1-0 2.00
Seo 0-1 6.75
Yates 3-0 0.64

Pen

O Moreno 15 inn 0.60 2 bb 12 k
Wheeler 11.2 0.77 1 bb 12 k
Weathers 11 2.45 3 bb 12 k
Bottalico 9.1 0.96 1 bb 4 k
Franco 9.1 1.93 2 bb 14 k
Stanton 8.0 7.88 3 bb 4 k
CLOSER/LOSER

Looper 8.0 7.88 0 bb 6 k

*****

Analysis: Injuries are the biggest factor on a team with two players with bone spurs, one perennially hamstrung superstar, a "tired" Japanese import and an aging catcher coming off a major injury. This does not address the upper 30's starting rotation which will break down repeatedly, the lack of real depth beyond them and a possibly horrific closer.

*****

NL East Predictions:

Montreal
Atlanta
Philly
Florida
Mets

Whipping Boys

For those of you who think the RF slot in Shea is cemented, you might be curious to note that Sports Amnesia's 2004 whipping boy, Roger Cedeno Is Up For Grabs.

"He's played left, center and right fields, and all of them equally horrendously," the ad reads. ". . . He used to be quite fast, but as he's gotten older and somewhat fatter on his contract, even that last vestige of value has left him. He cannot run the bases, he cannot play defense, he cannot hit for average."

And yes, on the second day in a row that Wonderkind Reyes was able to take batting practice without hurting himself or his delicately girlish gams, hundred year old hurler, Al Leiter discovered a cranky shoulder.

I see a consistent theme developing for the season and it spells out M-E-T-S I-N L-A-S-T P-L-A-C-E.

The one redeeming factor of yet another disppointing Mets season of losses and excuses is that it will hopefully result in the dismissal of Hula Howe. I've done some research on the matter and there does not appear to be a Fire Art Howe website yet. Sounds like a need crying out. Sports Amnesia will work on this and give a solution tomorrow.

Speaking of whipping boys, Sports Amnesia's Whipping Boy of 2003, Armandogeddon, for no apparent reason, was booed by his own fans when he entered for the ninth inning Thursday. "He got the same reception as last year," Mets general manager Jim Duquette said. "Too bad for him." Boo Hoo Benitez, who entered with the score tied at 1, got Danny Garcia on a pop-up to preserve the tie (the game was stopped after 11 innings with the score still tied at 1). It was the first time Benitez faced his former club since he was traded to the Yankees last season. "It's in the past, man," Benitez said. "I've got a new team, a new life. I'll be fine." . . . . Unless the Marlins have to play in any meaningful games this season they aren't already winning by twenty runs, that is.

*****

We are getting perilously close to the start of the season. The Yankees have already left for the confounding cultural differences of Japan. Even though he heartily endorsed the trip, King George is not following his minions to Japan. Of course, that could be for his fear of a terrorist attack on the Yankees. Police escorts will usher the Yankees everywhere. Black Hawk helicopters will wing the team to Camp Zoma, for a meet-and-greet with American soldiers.

Meanwhile, can anyone resist the poetic (in)justice of A-Rod Getting Hurt Against the Red Sox?

*****

Wouldn't this make for a great Game Seven of the 2004 World Series?

Cubs 2, A's 1 with Sammy Sosa getting three hits and driving in the go-ahead run and Kerry Wood allowing a run in 6 1-3 innings? In the real world, the Cubs confirmed that P Mark Prior will start the season on the DL. He is expected to be able to return during the team's first homestand, which is from April 12-19.


*****

A few days ago I mocked the Padres' chances this season because they noted that this season's likely number one draft pick was better than anyone they currently had in their rotation. Long Beach State's Jered Weaver, the man they were on about, was at it again last night, striking out 16 in six innings.

*****

Food for Thought: The Mets aren't willing to give up a pitcher who may or may not be good in a few years for what could be the Superstar of their lineup, Alfonso Soriano. Yesterday, Soriano homered to beat the Royals and has already had a 12 game hitting streak in Spring Training. He is currently hitting .347 with 4 stolen bases and a homer in 15 games.

*****

Bookmarks Revealed: Yeah, it might be a little late in the game but there once was a nice petition for Mets owner Freddy BoomBoom Wilpon to sign Vlad courtesy of East Coast Agony.

Where the Fuck Are You Now, Bruce Chen, Bruce Chen?

I know it's probably not important but I couldn't help but a small brain stutter when I read that he Blue Jays sent P Bruce Chen to the minors and wonder when and how he ever got Toronto-way to begin with. Then I started wondering how many teams he's been on lately, where has he wandered?

Panama City Bruce Chen has been with Atlanta, Philly, the Mets, Philly, Cincinnati, Montreal, Mets again, Boston, Houston, and now Toronto and now the minor leagues -- all in a mere five years of playing!!!

Settle down, Bruce. For crissakes. Your parents are looking for you.

*****

Next time I think I've found a cool baseball name, I'm going to remember that the Padres just sent down Tagg Bozied and I'm going to wait for him to make it back up to San Diego so he can be my favourite player after Florida's Hee Seop Choi, who we all hope has recovered from the nasty head injury he suffered at the hands of Kerry Wood against the Yankees last season after a particularly nasty and exciting collision.

*****

Bookmarks revealed: The Brushback, tops in absurdist sports news.

*****

Mets Update: The Mets' spring training complex was deserted yesterday except for a handful of minor-leaguers, a few front- office members and No. 1 starter Tom Glavine. An off day is not an off day if it happens to be your turn in the rotation, and Glavine suited up for an impromptu simulated game on the facility's only artificial turf field. He pitched six innings without incident and then could enjoy the rest of the afternoon, comfortable in the knowledge that he remains on track for Opening Day.

Lovely. How many runs will he surrender this opening day? A dozen? Half dozen?

Oh yeah, and whilst we're on about the crap rotation of the Mets, wunderkind Grant Roberts was rocked like a baby's cradle against the bloody Expos, my odds-on favourite to win the NL East this season.

And hey, if you like your Spring to be eternally hopeful, you can read about how the Human Hammy, Jose Reyes just might be back in time to injure himself again for Opening Day. Oh joy.

"But once he passes that exam, Reyes should be able to get back into the lineup, where he hopes to play his first game with shortstop Kazuo Matsui, unless the string of bad luck continues and Matsui reinjures his right middle finger."

Right. Unless Unless Unless.

Unless UnMets.

Aren't they supposed to wait until April before Futility Rears Its Ugly Head?

Training My Spring

Couldn't resist a little Peter Gammons reviewing the AL West since I've not read anything else and have fallen behind all of Spring Training save for knowing the Red Sox and Yankees both have injury troubles that could tip them over the edge before the season even starts. So Gammons says, AL West could be the site of the Wildcard. Intriguing except you know the Mariners are never going to amount to anything when they can't stop choking down the stretch and frankly, there's something ridiculous about the Angels making it again.

I'd go with the A's because of pitching. I wouldn't go with the Angels for even the Wildcard. Frankly, I'd like to see the Wildcard come out of the AL Central. White Sox and Royals? White Sox and Cubs World Series.

Right.

Here's how you know the Padres won't make it anywhere this year:

If the draft were held tomorrow, Jared Weaver would be the Padres' pick at No. 1. "He's as good as what we have," says one San Diego official. -- if he's as good as what they have and he's never pitched in the Major Leagues before, well, you do the math. PADRES ELIMINATED ALREADY.

Also notable: Gammons points out: "Just for some perspective on the meaning of won-loss records in spring training, the Marlins were 14-16 last spring, and the last five world champions were a combined 77-84 in the springs they won. Of course over the last five years the Yankees have two world championships, four pennants and five divisional titles, and have a combined spring training record of 71-86."

But AHA! How many teams with winning records in Spring Training went on to win the world series? Well, I had a quick search and found that there was a column on ESPN last March about this:

To get a sense of how well spring training records predict regular season success, we'll look at all spring training records back to 1996 (stopping there before we got to the severely abbreviated spring training of 1995). Let's look first at the very best spring teams.


Does a great spring mean a great regular season? Here are the 15 top spring records since 1996, along with records in the subsequent regular season:




Spring Training Reg Season
Team Year W L Pct W L Pct
Florida 1997 26 5 .839 92 70 .568
Boston 1998 20 8 .714 92 70 .568
Kansas City 1999 22 9 .710 64 97 .398
Los Angeles 1999 21 9 .700 77 85 .475
Baltimore 2002 20 9 .690 67 95 .414
Oakland 2001 22 10 .688 102 60 .630
Arizona 1999 22 10 .688 100 62 .617
Houston 2002 19 9 .679 84 78 .519
Texas 1998 21 10 .677 88 74 .543
California 1996 21 10 .677 70 91 .435
Baltimore 1998 18 9 .667 79 83 .488
Detroit 1996 20 10 .667 53 109 .327
Arizona 2002 23 12 .657 98 64 .605
St. Louis 1997 21 11 .656 73 89 .451
San Diego 1998 19 10 .655 98 64 .605
TOTALS 315 141 .691 1237 1191 .509


There isn't much reason to believe in spring training records here. Seven of these 15 March Monsters finished below .500 in the regular season. There are some outstanding teams on this list, but there are some truly awful teams too. In particular, notice the great spring put together by the 1996 Detroit Tigers. After they left Florida, they turned out to be the very worst major league team since the '60s.

*****

A look back at the Spring Training Yankees in 1951


Thanks Babe details Ruthian Spring Trainings:

"He was known as a tireless sexual athlete. One night, according to an often-told story that may not be true, but probably should be, Ruth brought a woman into the hotel suite he shared with the outfielder Bob Meusel. Meusel, half-asleep in his own room, tried to ignore the great commotion coming from Babe's room. Finally it stopped. Then Meusel smelled cigar smoke. Minutes later, the yells and cries returned, followed minutes later by more cigar smoke. Between noise and cigar smoke, Meusel slept badly that night.

In the morning, Meusel asked his roommate how many times he had been romantic.

"Count the cigars," Ruth said.

Seven butts lay in the ash tray."

*****

Bookmarks Revealed: a great new baseball site: The Hardball Times

*****
Hey, what about ESPN's Ten Players Most Likely To Be Moved piece?

The Rangers reportedly would trade Alfonso Soriano to the Mets for Scott Kazmir, but New York is reluctant to part with its prized pitching prospect. No secret there. But at least they're down from asking for Reyes. Frankly, Soriano is a proven commodity. Kazmir, to date, isn't. I'm not so enamoured with prospects, these can't miss numbers, especially when they're pitchers. I remember when the Mets traded (careful, this is a PDF link) Octavio Dotel, etc for what in essence amounted to Mike Hampton -- and at the time everyone was whining and worrying because Dotel had so much potential. He was going to be a starter, an ace, better than Hampton's wet dreams. Sure, he's a good pitcher but let's say the Mets had been able to resign Hampton -- it'd have been a better deal overall. Dotel has been with the Astros since 2000 as a nice set-up guy and now he's an unproven closer, FOUR YEARS LATER.

For my money, I'd trade Kazmir, take the chance and add Soriano. Not that it matters anyway with Reyes always out hurt, two thirds of the outfield nursing bone spurs in their lower extremities which could sideline for the season at any minute and Piazza remaining a liability at the plate.

I'd package Piazza off to the AL whilst he still has some potential. Mariners? Red Sox? Yankees? He'd make a lovely DH for the right team and maybe the Mets could get another arm to fill in their LOSER ROTATION for this up and coming season.

*****
And finally, more good news: Newcastle boss Sir Bobby Robson has revealed he may remain at St James' Park after his current contract finishes at the end of next season.

What A Shocker! Reyes Has A Bitchy Hammy!

In what should come as a suprise to no one who has followed his brief career to date, superstar in the making (if he ever strings together a complete month of play without injury) Jose Reyes has hurt his hamstring yet again.

This makes about the fifth time in a year that Reyes has been injured and each of those injuries have been either leg or foot related. Get some new wheels, dude!

On the other hand, the typically slothful and slow to the take idiots running the Mets are only now muttering about specialising Reyes' training to cater to his fragile little legs and feet. Like a bird, he is, this Reyes.

Yet another sign of the season to come -- Cameron and Floyd already whinging about bone spurs, Piazza clueless at first and enemic behind the plate, no pitching staff to speak of, and well, Art Howe remains as manager. "I don't want to lose sleep on this just yet" Howe says. Good for Howe. Don't lose sleep. It's only your fucking job at stake!

*****

In case you were wondering, my final four picks for the NCAA tourney, of three separate sheets:

My first bracket has: Michigan St, Wisconsin, Duke and Syracuse, with Duke winning it all.
Bracket two has: Kentucky, Pitt, Duke and UConn with Kentucky winning it all.
My Absurdist Bracket three has: Gonzaga, St Joes, Mississippi St and UConn with Miss St. winning it all.

Met Mutterings
"If he was anybody else, like Port St. Lucie people, they just talk out the mouth and they go."
Eric Vidal, 20, pizza deliverer, disrespected and pummeled by Met players.

If you search the Keep Port St. Lucie Beautiful Guiding Principles outline you will be disappointed to find how little talking out the mouth and going is mentioned. However, if you were to momentarily believe the stories of parking lot urination and pissaboy delivery beatings, you might, as Port St. Lucie detective in charge of the investigation, Mike Beath, did, find the pissaboy's story "vague and somewhat improbable." Don King ridiculous, I might have added. But good enough to find himself awarded the Sports Amnesia's Idiot of the Week.

Johnny Damon and the Doors

Sorry, couldn't help but take notice of Gammons' article containing the photo of Johnny Damon and his new Christ look and compare it with Val Kilmer's version of Jim Morrison or perhaps further still, Jim Morrison taking acting lessons from Oliver Stone.

Doesn't bode well for the Sox.

Radical Realignment
"Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim." Bertrand Russell

Instead of thinking about contracting the financially weakest teams in baseball like Montreal, Milwaukee and Tampa Bay from the Major Leagues, why not relegate them to AAA?

What's Wrong With the Water in the National League?
"I know up on top you are seeing great sights, but down on the bottom we, too, should have rights!" -- YERTLE THE TURTLE

Just as you know something is amiss in a village or a region of the world when you witness a sudden tide of refugees carrying rope-bound suitcases on their heads, cooking pots and mattresses, crying babies and burlap bags full of shahtoosh as they lead goats on a rope down dirt roads where the air is swollen with fleas and flies and dust, so too do you know that something must be rotten in the state of the National League to have caused an exodus so comprehensive one wonders what superstars will be left to turn out the lights.

In a note that should hearten the Red Sox Nation and prove yet again, pissing millions into the wind on a big name squad, Arsenal seal Ranieri's fate as Chelsea give up the fight

"Continuity, good leadership and the presence of so much experience permits easier assimilation of newcomers such as Kolo Toure and Gilberto and this season's implants, Clichy and Jens Lehmann. By comparison, six of Chelsea's starting line-up against Arsenal joined this season. Some have not developed a deep bond with the club. They have not shared in past pleasures and pains, the fire that forges individuals into a unit. Arsenal's pulse-racing season is rooted in the heartache of falling in last season's championship chase."

The bloke at Mariner Musings has unleashed another haiku:

Haiku #4: Ichiro!

Anticipating
Bat spinning like a windmill
Electricity

And in case you missed it, let's add All-baseballdotcom to the roll.

And in case you missed it, let's add Yanksfan vs Soxfan to the roll.

In yet another sign that this year is not the Year of the Mets, supporters and reporters are now officially reduced to spinning the ole but we've got great prospects! warble.

Tja. It's the 1986-2006 plan. Way to go.

*****

Other Sports

*****

I can't help but be fascinated with the progressively younger crops of NBA ?berteen dreams. Now it's the 14 year old O. J. Mayo garnering the almost prenatal adulation and attention. He's even been billed as the next LeBron -- the next LeBron? What's the shelf life of a pro hoops phenom these days, 20 minutes?

*****

Found this article on a To-know list in the Sporting News from last April which devotes itself to the inner psychological QB:

"It's well-documented how the man called the "brain doctor" advised the Chargers against selecting Ryan Leaf based merely upon what he'd observed of Leaf's brain wiring.

Jonathan Niednagel, head of the Brain Types Institute in Nottinghill, Mo., operates with an eight-letter alphabet. When he looks at a person, he sees four letters--or one of 16 combinations called brain types, which are determined by four basic pairs of psychological attributes.

Brain-type categories

(E)xtroverted vs. (I)ntroverted: Draws energy from others or from within.

(S)ensing vs. i(N)tuitive: Believes in only touch, taste, smell, sight and hearing or also in a sixth, guiding sense.

(T)hinking vs. (F)eeling: Bases decisions on either logic or emotion.

(J)udging vs. (P)erceiving: Is work-oriented or Is work-oriented or fun-oriented in approach to life."

Before the 2003 season, eight NFL quarterbacks had 40,000 yards or more in career passing. From those eight, only Dan Fouts and Warren Moon were not ESTP brain types meaning, Extroverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving blokes. You know the type...ESTP brain-types, such as John Elway, Dan Marino, Joe Montana and Peyton Manning. They have in common the ability to run the two-minute drill better than quarterbacks with different brains. That's because ESTP brain-types are known as "opportunists" who "seek fun and excitement" and "enjoy the moment," according to braintypes.com.

I wonder how many of the lads in my local are ESTPs. Probably not many potential Quarterbacks wandering Stratford-Upon-Avon.

A-God

"I could prove God statistically." -- George Gallup

In the fever of statistics, the sweaty palms of junkies trying to prove their points, it should be considered that the Yankees coup of A-Rod is much bigger than mere statistics themselves. The arrival of A-Rod is an arrival in NYC that hasn't been seen since perhaps since the fixed draft that saw the Knicks collect Patrick Ewing out of Georgetown. It isn't the sterile calculations of combinations performed by people who love to take the heart from sports and slap a freshly printed dollar bill across it. It is about the passion discovered in sudden sports surprises that seize a city like an asthma attack and prove once again that is the beauty of speculation that allows us to feel happy as sportsfans, even when our team loses.

Fear Governs Red Sox Nation

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks". - Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene II.

The Red Sox Nation, fresh off their surrogate success and the sublime earthquakes of ecstacy victory in Patriot Land, having suffered a sharp blow to the solar plexus, now try to regroup with fantasy tales of why the Yankees getting A-Rod after they themselves failed to do so, isn't the kick to the nuts their mascochistic psyches haven't been waiting for all off season ever since Pettitte and Clemens shook off their pinstripes for their homeland of Texas.

Oh please may I hear another story about how dour and uncolourful Bill Belichick is? Oh please may I hear that story again about John Fox that tells of what a transformation he's overseen at Carolina?

Oh please can read about how there aren't any superstars on Carolina or how this time New England has to be the favourite instead of the underdog?

Oh please can I read another article about why the BCS is a disaster and please can that article have all the cliches of how to fix it?

Oh please can someone else tell me why Pete Rose is the antichrist and doesn't to deserve to be in the Hall of Fame?

Oh please will someone else wax poetic on the CFL?

Oh please can you tell me why having Cameron and Reyes and Kaz in the middle of the defense will make a difference when you still have three hop Piazza pantomiming throwing out runners at second base?

Oh please tell me why Bud Selig can't be the Archduke Ferdinand of Major League Baseball?

Oh please will someone demonstrate to me how John Gruden can be the Holy Grail one season and not even in the postseason the next?

Oh please can you give the NY Knicks what they want? Willis Reed limping, saving the day, over and over again?

Oh please can you tell me the Yankees fans won't revel in that moment of realisation when the most overrated pitcher on the planet called Pettitte pitches for Houston and gets bombed over and over until his back fails or his shoulder hurts and then Roger Clemens comes running and pulls a groin or hurts himself like some other 45 year old man might in similar circumstances?

Oh please can you erase the WNBA?

Oh please can you give Mike Schmidt his due?

Oh please can you make me watch another thirty seconds of ESPN because I might have missed the subtle hip hop nuances and meanings?

Oh please can I watch another 12 consecutive hours of Super Bowl pregame hype = please times a trillion?

Oh please can my life revolve around billion dollar commercials that only famous people or computer graphics can act in?

Oh please can I see the Patriots falling behind early? Oh please can I see Carolina because I see all the other teams every year, like, I dunno Tampa, Baltimore, St Louis, all those teams that had shite quarterbacks and no one said stood a chance?

Oh please can I hear another hurrah for Tom Brady?

Oh please can I see another interception?

Oh please can I be in Las Vegas?

Oh please can I be a seven point underdog too if I study hard and go to school?

Oh please.

Carolina 20 NE 16

Let's Bring David against Goliath to Baseball
"Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."--George Bernard Shaw

The FA Cup brought a bit of romance to football yesterday. It was a glaring contrast in size, pay and talent when the mighty millionaires of Chelsea, who ranked 104 places above the semiprofessional Scarborough, traveled this weekend to that Northeast seaside resort town to hold an important fourth round FA Cup match. The kind of stunning mismatch that invites giant-killing and mythological heroics that live forever in the minds of fans everywhere.

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials. --Chinese Proverb

I can't decide which is more absurd: that whining Yankee fans would accuse Roger Clemens of nothing short of treason and being a turncoat two-timer after he backed off his decision to retire and decided to sign with the Houston Astros instead, or the ridiculous attempt by Clemens to smooth ruffled Yankee fan feathers by confessing that "I still consider myself a Yankee."

Bye bye Vladdy, We Hardly Knew Yea

"Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones." --Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970), Unpopular Essays (1950), "Outline of Intellectual Rubbish"

ESPN, Where Art Thou?

"You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life." -- Bill Murray as Phil in Groundhog Day.

We don't get much NFL coverage here in England. We get the Sunday night ESPN game on live feed with a one thirty in the morning kickoff (so all you East Coasters whining about the games starting too late to cater to West Coast spectators, try focusing on a hyperventilating Joe Theisman at 3 in the morning sometime.) We get the Monday Night Game on Tuesday nights (most weeks) and if you've got Sky TV Digital, well, you might even get a live NFL Playoff game at a reasonable hour on a early weekend evening.

The best thing I can say about the coverage is that it is a live feed so you get real American professional announcers doing the game for an audience of people who already understand the game. Sometimes on Sky, you get the Sky network geniuses thinking how neat it would be to use their own announcers who always feel compelled to explain every nuance of the game to an audience they assume know nothing about it. If you think listening to John Madden's fatted veal grey lips spittle the same tired lines over and over again like the BAM! sound bubbles of a tv episode of Batman, is annoying, trying having a blitz explained to you by a ex-New York Giant Englishman for the twelfth time in a half hour. An added bonus, when watching the match on England's Channel Five, when ESPN/ABC takes one of their trillion commercial breaks, instead of pickup tits truck commercials and bad swill beer tits commercials and ominous ads about how your company will fail like a Twitney Spears Marriage without some sort of 28th century inside investment technology to lead you into the next generation of doom and killing, you get the tight analysis of Mike Carlson during commercial breaks instead.

Imagine that for just a moment! A sporting event without commercials! It almost feels like paradise except for the fact that by halftime it's already almost time to put the morning pot of coffee on and get the shower started.

Nevertheless, it isn't hard to notice how quickly the NFL coaching vacancies were filled, baddabing, baddabang and the smoke has cleared and look what we've got:

A retread dictator, the kind of hardass that will beat respectability into the Giants, a guy who took an infant franchise to the Conference Championship Game twice but never made it to the Super Bowl, a guy who makes the NFC East that much tougher. On the other hand, my first thought at the news of the Giants signing Tom Coughlin was: what the hell must Jeremy Shockey be thinking? Get me out of here as fast as possible? It should be intriguing to see, once the games of faux diplomacy and lip service have been exhausted and Shockey is back to being Shocking, just how it's going to sit with General Coughlin, a guy who doesn't like long hair, wants the players in suits and will run the team like they were playing at West Point instead of the East Rutherford. Yeah, I'm sure Shockey wants to win, blablabla, just as bad as the General but there's more than one way to skin a cat and while football is a game big on war metaphors, it isn't often that someone as unrelentingly uptight as Coughlin wins the Super Bowl. Gruden? Nah. Belichick? Grumpy, yes, but better known as defensive genius more than a little dictator. The Niagra Falls of Coaching, Dick Vermeil? No chance. Mike Shanahan? Nope. You've gotta go all the way back to 1991, also with the NY Giants, when Parcells was the dictator and coach and won a title. Problem further is that Coughlin isn't the motivational genius Parcells is. The Giants got themselves a good coach but don't count on him outcoaching Parcells against Dallas, Andy Reid against the Eagles or even Joe Gibbs against the Redskins.

Joe Gibbs is by far the most intriguing hire. It's such big news even the cloyingly annoying Tony Kornheiser had a good line in the Washington Post for a change: "So Joe Gibbs is coming back to coach the Redskins, huh? Coach "Joe"? For real? Bringing the Boss Hog, Joe Bugel, with him? Who else? Grimm? Henning? Torgy? Pec? Sort of like The Blues Brothers. "We're putting the band back together -- we're on a mission from God."

My first morbid thought upon hearing this news was that what ifGibbs doesn't succeed? Where does Boy Blunder Danny Snyder go from there? Throw up his hands and sell the team? There are no football coaches left in the world for the Redskins to hire if Joe Gibbs doesn't do it. It's that simple. Can he readapt to an NFL of free agency? Can he return after 11 years out of the loop? Sure he can. In DC, Joe Gibbs can walk on water. He is the Jesus Christ of NFL Coaching inside the Beltway. If he doesn't do it, no one will. But he will. He's got a Midas Touch and the only thing to fear in the end is after all the winning has waned and The Mighty Joe is ready to hang it up again, let's hope there's someone a little more prepared and a little more capable than Rich Pettibone waiting in the wings next time. In the meantime, can you find anything wrong in another pair of Gibbs-Parcells matchups every season? Can you imagine how hysterical that Redskins-Cowboys rivalry is going to get now?

Dennis Green, much like Marvin Lewis did in Cincinnati, brings automatic respectability to an otherwise lifeless and laughable franchise with an historically apathetic ownership. Frankly, you've got to wonder if Green is a glutton for punishment when just as easily, he could've had the Raiders job instead. Have the Raiders really floundered to the level of the Arizona Cardinals in a matter of a year or is Green afraid of disappearing from the NFL coaching circuit if he doesn't win, much like the Raiders' last fired black head coach, Art Shell? The Cardinals have reached double digit losses nine times since 1989 which, believe it or not, is exactly the same amount of times the Bengals reached double digit losses since 1989. But before Mr Green gets any delusions of grandeur, he might consider the fact that the Bengals were up against the likes of the Steelers, Browns and Ravens, whereas Arizona have to play in a division consisting of a considerably more formidable St Louis, Seattle and San Francisco. And let's face it, while no one might have imagined an end of the year scenario that had Marvin Lewis in tears thanking owner and the perpetually-hated Mike Brown, try and imagine the teletubbyish Dennis Green shedding tears of thanks for a cantankerous old Grinch like Bill Bidwell...As Adele told Carrie when asked in the movie Kalifornia if her Brad Pitt boyfriend, Early Grace ever hit her: "Only when I deserve it". As John Madden would say, in Batman sound effect bubbles KAPOOW! ZONK! Good luck in the lovely dry heat of the Republic of Arizona, Mr Green.

*****

You can't get ESPN Sports Center here, not through Sky TV, not even if you jam a coathanger into your tv antenae. And for the homages I read about how wonderful it is, the truth of the matter is, by the time I was leaving New York, Sports Center had gotten a little too clever for itself, a little too enamoured with its own sense of self-important news readers. I can tell you for a fact there isn't a man, woman, child, animal, mineral or vegetable in all of the United Kingdom as annoying as listening to Stewart Scott Ebonicize the American Sports Experience every morning. It was a terrible way to start the day. Evil enough to keep a spittoon bedside-handy on the off-hand chance you'd be force fed another "as cool as the other side of the pillow" line just as the vestiges of the previous night's partying was creeping it's way up your throat like a malignant bile waiting to explode at the next "BOOYEAH!". Ah yes. Stewart Scott is not a disease to be taken lightly.

We don't get much in the way of the NBA here either though for some reason, but we do get the Fox Sports NHL feed once or twice a week at around three in the morning. What we do get in bigger than life tabloid style coverage is FOOTBALL. Every page is soaked with the latest comings and goings, the finest details of every match played from the Premiere League down to the local levels. The funny thing is, you can't watch any matches on television unless you either subscribe to Sky TV or you head over to your local pub to watch it on theirs. In and of itself, this isn't such a bad thing until you find that there are "four or five" matches a week that are on Sky that you want to see and your mates in the pub slowly begin to become more familiar to you than your own wife. Not to mention watching the digits of your beer intake quadruple, your vision bloating into the onset of a permanent alchoholic haze and forgetting which match your watching by every halftime. Think about it though. Imagine if you couldn't watch a single NFL game on anything but ESPN. Imagine if every collegiate and professional game of the week could only be seen on cable. It's a mind-boggling sort of monopoly Sky TV has running here. Then again, Sky TV is paying billions to fund the Premiership. Money without which, the English League might well be like the Dutch Eriedivisie, an empty dreamland ghost of a league, twisting in the wind on its own youth squads, watching it's superstars develop in someone else's billionaire league in another country many many miles away.

*****

And perhaps the most amazing thing of all: making the news in the sports pages these days in England, perhaps underscoring the lack of interesting diversity, missing the NCAA Hoops, the NBA showboats, the NFL Playoffs, etc., you find yourself slowly gazing into the articles about people like John Boy Walton taking the World Darts Title and wondering what is wrong with the world. "He was busting 180s everywhere - he was buzzing.", the article quotes a fan of Walton. Real schoolyard, street-smart, hip-hop darts at its finest alrighty.

Now, I like darts just as much as the next pint-swilling lad in a pub but if I'm going to make fun of things like golf and bowling being called "sports" in America, then frankly, I've got to have a problem with darts being in the sports pages of the British tabloids and not running the lead in the local pub newsletter, as well.

The Mets finally have a new closer in Braden Looperafter dumping sad sack Armandogeddon the Mets have, in essence, traded Benitez for the three minor leaguers they got from the Yankees, plus a new closer in Looper. In his final two outings of the regular season, and throughout the playoffs, Looper regained his effectiveness as a setup man. He had two excellent performances against the Mets to close out the regular season, then went 2-0 with a save in the playoffs.

Looper's 1-2/3 shutout innings in Game 4 of the World Series against the Yankees particularly piqued the Mets' interest. In the outing, he escaped a bases-loaded, one-out jam in the 11th.

Perhaps the biggest laugh is that the Marlins think they've solved their closer problems by signing Armandogeddon, but the truth is, the problems have only just begun.

"That was probably the last piece of this team that was really in need, and we took care of it," Marlins general manager Larry Beinfest said Sunday, a day after the hard-throwing right-hander accepted a $3.5 million, one-year deal with the World Series champions.

It was only last July that the Marlins were heavily rumoured to trade right-handers Nate Bump, Justin Wayne and Blaine Neal and Double-A left-hander Ryan Snare among the primary bait to grab Benitez from the Mets. As we know, Armandogeddon Sweepstakes were "won" by the Yankees, who lived to regret it and the Marlins, who never had to suffer Armandovision in the post season, later went on to defeat the Yankees in the World Series.

In forsaking the Marlins and helping them win the World Series, the Mets got, above all, Jason Anderson
On the other hand, given the general apathy of Marlin fans when the Marlins aren't World Champions, ole Armando might do just fine in a Florida climate of indifference before 8,000 fans every night.

Who Are These Dopes And Why Are They Ruining Baseball?

"The players association's intransigence and the arbitrary nature of its action are responsible for the deal's demise today. Reports that negotiations are continuing and shall continue are inaccurate." -- Lucky Luccino, on the end of Renaissance of the Red Sox, stillborn, half-term aborted.

It's another sign of the out-of-touch with the corporate world encroaching, imposing its stamp upon the sanctity and holy purity of the world of sports when it takes a degree in Quantitative Macroeconomics and Contracts Law to understand the anatomy of a baseball trade gone sour. Does anyone else get a headache trying to sort that A-Rod, for whom the contract was written, was willing to diminish the value of his contract, through deferrals, by $28 million; union lawyer Gene Orza would allow only $12 million?

The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!

"Goodness gracious me!" said Henny-penny; "the sky's a-going to fall: I must go and tell the king."

One thing that has been not missed in these days in England: the Beatlemania-like hysteria over The Madness of King George, Mad Scientist George and His Bad Chemistry Clubhouse, the rise and fall of Chemical George, and a string of other epithets to describe the ruination of the Evil Empire, the last, vile twistings and strainings of the death row prisoner as he suffers his fatal injection. Despite the defections and sour reasoning, King George is still around to save the day and the sky has not yet fallen.

Torre's Headache City: Mad Scientist George and His Bad Chemistry

Wouldn't it be a beautiful little clubhouse, Sheffield, Keven Brown, Lofton: one whiner after another. Why didn't they pick Manny off the waiver wire again? Chemical George, mixing up toxic clubhouse auras. Off his rocker. Mad with doom.

A sad man in his final hours, Chemical George.

Poor Joe Torre. The man who got too much credit for everything from an adoring media, get's nothing from his Boss but a kick in the teeth for insubordination and another episode of Steinbrenner Knows Best (awww, carrots again tonight pa?). Yes give us high paid malcontents and clubhouse cancers. Fly the Yankee flag.

Steinbrenner Soiled Again By His Own Stupidity

The good news just keeps getting better. Sox snag Yankee-killing Schilling. Sheffield, the petulant and troubled free agent only an idiot would sign begins his whine early, in preseason, before the contract is even signed, and demands more money from Slimebrenner. Now, the best news we could hope for:

Pettitte spurns Yankees and signs with Astros.

Is it bigger news that the Red Sox, suddenly the money bags of the AL East, offered, $54 million over four years to the Yankees final offer was almost half that.

Very quickly, the Yankees traded Jeff Weaver and a few bodies to the Dodgers for Kevin Brown.

On paper, this could work out better in the long run. Brown is old and oft-injured, but when healthy, despite his own rotten fish clubhouse personality, he can be one of the more dominant pitchers in baseball. It sorts out that he'll end up costing the Yankees less than Pettitte would have over the years and after all, it isn't win next year, it is win now. Should Brown be healthy for the year, he could be the staff ace, eclipsing even Mussina. Brown, too, has had his moments at Yankee Stadium. Overall, he's 12-3 with a 2.50 ERA against the Yankees, his top win total vs. an opponent and although he hasn't pitched in the AL in awhile, this IS after all, a pitcher who went 14-9 with a staggering 2.39 ERA. At one point, before the injuries set in, he won 9 straight giving up 9 earned runs over 65 innings, a 0.80 ERA.

So while, from the outside, at the onset, this looks like a Yankee loss, combined with the possibility that Sheffield may have whined his way out of a Yankee uniform, these seeming harbingers of Yankee doom might actually turn out to be godsends.

Let's hope not, of course. Let's hope for more failure and futility, but let's not get too jacked up on Yankee blood letting just yet.

Perhaps even richer, is the rampant speculation that now with Pettitte signed, Roger Clemens won't be far behind. Richard Justice reports:

Could Roger Clemens be lured into joining Pettitte and giving the Astros a devastating one-two combination, in terms of pitching performance and marketing potential? The Astros intend to find out. Even as team owner Drayton McLane made possibly his most dramatic acquisition since purchasing the franchise, he admitted he has one more in mind.

"I will call Roger at the appropriate time," he said. "We'll talk."

As for the two of them pitching for the Astros next season, Pettitte said: "Five days ago, I'd have said no. Now, I don't know. If he gives me any opening to say he might think about it, I'm going to jump on it pretty good. That would be awesome."

Off Seasons Are the Kick In the Balls

The real imbalance of baseball is the Off Season.

That's when money matters: on paper.

Newspaper you read every morning hoping desperately for news on who's in, who's out, trade rumours, free agent signings on page four:

In certain cities, there is no off season. The team sucked last year. There were no 162 games because none of them mattered. Loss is Loss. And Loss is loss after loss after loss.

The offseason are franchises that stand against the wall for execution as some junior high dance waiting to be ignorant and hoping not to be mocked.

Will Milwaukee re-sign Gary Sheffield? Fuck no. How could they?

So imagine yourself a stinking Brewers fan and you've got Bud Selig underpants and Bud Selig dishwashing liquid in your house and you've got no fucking hope that there will be improvement. Bud Selig to daughter, for example, is a precedent of bad decision making and why the hopes of Brewers fans are like a spreading rot.

Hey! What's going on in the Devil Rays camp these days?

Yup. Big fucking excitement. Heart attacks. Lou Piniella farts at charity dinner for corpses and doesn't apologise immediately! No one wants Son of Bitch Ben Grieve who can't hit nepotism pussy if it hit HIM in the face first.

Puke him out in bloody chunks-like stomach cancer or miscarriages into the toilet .

There's you're fucking off season.

No Fucking Hope

And no Fucking Hope for the future.

Some cities gets hope and somes gets losers, naive, bloodless servility.

Kill.

Win Hope!

Defeat envy!


(just checking if anyone was reading)

The Human Headache Waiting To Happen

The marriage made in hell: sourpuss and whiner extraordinaire, Gary Sheffield has, in the words of one baseball exec: "changed his mind and wanted more money."

Now there's a shock. What a relief it was a few seasons ago when the Mets were thinking about getting him from the Dodgers and cooler heads prevailed. The head case that is Sheffield will not survive the media spotlight of New York. He whines too often, he's too outspoken when there is nothing to say: Prima Donna's don't usually last in NYC with perhaps the exception of Reggie Jackson and even he too left one day.

As The Daily News reports it:

"There is still a chance a contract with Sheffield will get done, of course. But according to baseball sources, Sheffield upset the Yankees when he called George Steinbrenner - who is personally handling the negotiations - in the last few days and demanded that the contract be increased to $42 million over three years. The original pact had been for three years and $39 million and the two sides were haggling over how some of the money would be deferred, because the Yankees want the average annual value of the deal to be $11 million.

Friends of Sheffield's have been warning that he was pushing Steinbrenner too far with his latest gambit. No official said the negotiations were completely shut down, but Steinbrenner is probably unhappy that Sheffield tried to get more millions when The Boss thought the deal was nearly sealed."

So, although as a Yankee-hater, whilst I'd have loved to have seen Sheffield scuttle Yankee harmony all season next year, even MORE savory will be the hat-in-hand Sheffield, shuffling from team to team trying to find another idiot big enough to take on a headcase for millions of wasted dollars.

In a related issue, let's not listen to the normally rational Bill Madden in the Daily News who thinks the Mets should go crazy and try and swing for Vlad. Bad idea, methinks. Terrible makeup, this Vlad, despite his numbers and one should consider what a such an enormous salary increase would do. Too sensitive for the NY market. He's better off in Baltimore where he can disappoint in peace and make no difference to any team.

And before I forget, reservations now to jump on the Eagles-Patriots Super Bowl bandwagon?

C'mon. Everyone already knows: KC Chiefs - St Louis Rams Final to see Vermeil meet his old team.

The Superstah Cometh

The Kaz man, Kazuo Matsui and the Mets appear to have agreed on a deal to bring him to the Blue and Orange.

"The switch-hitting Matsui is known for his speed, defense and batting average and is sometimes compared to Ichiro Suzuki, the Seattle Mariners' star from Japan. Unlike the stoic Ichiro, though, Matsui is outgoing and flashy, at least by Japanese standards.

Matsui is a native of Osaka, which is known for its straight-talking people. At the news conference near Tokyo, Matsui spoke confidently and happily about his desire to play in America, a marked change from Hideki Matsui, who is no relation, who apologized profusely when he said goodbye to Japanese baseball last year to join the Yankees.

When Kazuo Matsui turned professional, he changed the Chinese characters of his first name to mean "top earner in the middle," a nod to his desire to be the best shortstop possible.

Matsui's signing was the Mets' first move of the off-season and was a clear signal that the franchise, after two straight last-place finishes, is more interested in a quick turnaround than any painstaking rebuilding process. Still, the Mets have indicated they will be relatively modest as they move through the winter, and the acquisition of Matsui may be as bold as they get."

Of course, while this was the blueprint for the Mets' offseason, my other little plans, the resigning of Shannon Stewart by the Twins and of Hasegawa by the Mariners means I don't think the Mets should trade the whining, selfish Sheman Mike Piazza anymore. No, leave him in another year, let him platoon at first with a host of others and here's a potential lineup:

1B-Jason Phillips/Mike Piazza
2B- Reyes
SS-Kaz
3B-Wiggington
C-Piazza, Phillips
LF-Floyd

HOLES: CF and RF and almost the entire bullpen and #3/4 starter depending on where one slots Trachsel.

The beauty of this signing is that it can only mean that they are going to make another run, take another shot, load the guns again. They wouldn't sign the Kaz Man and leave him hanging with no one but the injury prone Floyd the injury prone Reyes and the sensitive Piazza to back him up would they? Nah. They will make some more signings before it's all over.

If we take a look at players not offered arb by their respective teams and are now unrestricted free agents, we see that Mike Cameron is now available to play CF for the Mets. Cameron, who turns 31 next month, won his second Gold Glove last season, committing only four errors in 492 chances for a .992 fielding percentage. Cameron hit .253 last season with 18 home runs and 76 RBIs. Something else to consider is the fact that he also set a franchise single-season record with 176 strikeouts in 2002.

Budget accomodations: Cheaper alternative to Cameron is infamous streak-hitter and 36 year-old Reggie Sanders whom the Pirates let free. Sanders batted .287 with 31 homers and 85 RBI last season in 130 games. For his career, which also includes stints in Arizona and San Francisco, he has a career 2.68 average with 249 homers and 802 RBI.

They say Johnny Damon and Trot Nixon might be available in a trade, but at what cost? Will the Sox be trying to dump a little more salary to make way for A-Rod and other off season signings?

Why not sign Reds reject Eric Owens on the cheap? Sure, he doesn't hit for power, but he adds speed and can play all three outfield positions. More speed cannot hurt the Mets plus, even if Cedeno started over Owens in RF, Owens could always be used to spell Sanders in CF or take over when Cliff Floyd suffers his inevitable season-altering injury in Spring Training.

Last word on cheap OF alternatives might be the Jose Cruz Jr, the man who failed to catch a routine fly ball that helped the Marlins' game-winning 11th-inning rally in Game 3. He is another switch-hitter to join Kaz and give greater versatility to the Mets batting order. .250-20-68 is steady enough provided he comes cheap. Plus, more speed (30 homers, 30 sbs in 2001). It appears the Mets would only have to outbid the Rangers and Devil Rays...

So let's look at a batting order that looks like this perhaps:

Kaz-ss
Reyes-2b
Floyd-LF
Piazza-C
Wigginton-3B
Jose Cruz Jr -LF
Reggie Sanders-CF
Jason Phillips-1B

perhaps this beats me previous lineup in a previous blog of:

Shannon Stewart (resigned with Twins)- LF
Kaz -ss
Reyes - 2b
Floyd - Lf
Ty Wigginton - 3b
Travis Lee - (still a Free Agent, unstricted) 1B
Aaron Rowand - (still untraded on the White Sox) CF
Jason Phillips - C

Yes, now that the Mets have Kaz, they should keep Piazza and roll the dice somemore.

Another good Pirate reject might be pitcher Julian Tavarez, 3-3 record and a 3.66 ERA. Other bullpen wish list might include Tim Worrell, whom the Giants set free. Worrell, 36, had a great year, saving 38 games after replacing injured closer Robb Nen. He might not be cheap and thus, might not be worth it in the end.

Who WOULD be worth it, just for the comedic value alone: If you noted, the Mariners declined to offer arbitration to ARMANDOGEDDON. Wouldn't it be funny to see him back at Shea? Yeah. Almost as funny as seeing his barber, Rey Sanchez, also a free agent no one wants, join him. Gaaaak!

Another ex-Oriole and ex-Mariner, Arthur Rhodes, is hanging around with nowhere to go to augment someone's bullpen.

What would Sidney Ponson cost to add to the starting rotation? Of course, he seems to be on the list of alot of teams. He had an initial salary of $4.25 million last year, which is manageable for most teams. He has a very shaky past with the Orioles though, despite last season and the question is, will he fulfill that promise finally, or revert back to his frustrating inconsistencies of the past?

A REAL low budget move might be to sign, as #4 starter: John Burkett is a free man from the Red Sox now. He's gone 109-84 pitching in the National League. Plenty of experience.
Looks like Millwood might stick with the Phillies after all.

I like the rumour that Vlad Guerrero is going to the Orioles. Guerrero, a four-time all-star, made $11.5 million last year for the Expos, and he hit .330 with 25 homers and 79 RBI while missing 39 games because of a herniated disk.

Glad to hear the human headache Gary Sheffield will ink with King George. Those two pigs deserve each other and it spells certain horrific chemistry for the Yankees yet again combined with Giambi's knee problems, the uncertainty over what to do with Bernie in CF and Soriano at 2B. The lack of a starting rotation: So far, Mussina, ex-Expo Javier Vasquez, whom is compared by the Baseball Crank, Choke Weaver, maybe the 40-going-on-100 David Wells coming off back surgery, definately not Clemens and perhaps not Pettite if the Astros can make themselves appealing. A rotten season indeed in store for the Yankees. Oh! If only it were true!

Is it not delicious, the rumours that A-Rod will go to the Red Sox for that whining Dominican, Manny Ramirez.