Baseball Across The Time Zone Ocean via Radio
"A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure." -- Segal's Law
Got home in time last night to listen to the sole MLB "day game" via WHB in KC, to my preseason AL Central favourite-ChiSox pound their division rival KC Royals in their renovated US Cellular Field home opener. US Cellular Field has been the butt of jokes and an object of derision since it opened as the "new" Comiskey Park in 1991. According to the reviews, the latest renovations lend an "old" Comiskey feel to the South Side ballyard. A refurbished upper deck, an expanded center-field "fan deck" and a fresh paint job were among $28 million in off-season improvements.
Two things that jumped out me (and neither of them were drunken Chisox fans leaping over the rail onto the field): Cy Young 2003 bridesmaid, Esteban Loiza, 21-9 with a 2.90 ERA last season, appears to need more time to find his top form, surrendering 4 homeruns in a failed effort to give up the victory single-handedly. Secondly are the Chisox bats, and in particular, Paul Konerko is looking as though he wants to make up for all the wretched impressions he's given fans over the last season and a half. He's batting .370 with six runs batted in their first seven games. While you're at it, you might note that the Fearsome Foursome of Frank Thomas, Magglio Ordonez, Konerko and Carlos Lee, appear anxious to repeat 2000, the last time the Sox took their division, when those four combined for 120 home runs and 458 RBIs.
How about those Venezuelans? By all accounts, Ozzie Guillen is not a manager who is going to allow talent to go to waste in favour of player ego. Meanwhile, Chico Carrasquel and Luis Aparicio, fellow Venezuelans who preceded Ozzie Guillen as All-Star shortstops for the Sox, joined new manager Guillen in throwing out ceremonial first pitches. We already remember Aparicio, but this Carrasquel feller...he was a 4 time All Star for the Sox in the 50s before being traded with Jim Busby to the Cleveland Indians for Larry Doby. However, Chico's MLB accomplishments pale in comparison to the understated grandeur of Estadio Alfonso Chico Carrasquel.
The Old Man and the Cards
Our grandest of dreams remain dashed. Whilst Andy Pettitte assures the world his cranky elbow nothing to panic over, Roger Clemens continues to defy the logical world outside of Nolan Ryan, this time moving past Terrific Tom Seaver in moving to 2-0 in April 2004, and shutting down the St Louis Cardinals on one run and two hits over 6 2/3 innings. His ERA, in the days we shall remember with dread and revulsion, is 0.66 in his two starts of the 2004 season.
The old man, who might still join the Hall of Fame in an Astros hat, was consistently hitting 93 mph into the sixth as he neared his 105 pitch total that earned a mere 3 strikeouts. Perhaps he was concentrating on hitting out in his two official at-bats to drop his 2004 batting average to .250. Four at bats and not a single fastball under his chin. Is Clemens the only philsopher on the mound who believes that hitting batters is a good way to keep them off the plate?
More notable to Astros fans might be Octavio Dotel's continued jitterbugging from the bullpen. Dotel gave up back-to-back homers to Jim Edmonds and Scott Rolen to lead off the ninth, but finally got the final four outs for his first save of the season.
Rally Monkies Bigger Than Mariner's Bullpen
Then, as dawn broke over the misty sheep fields of Warwickshire, the Rally Monkey was busy making its first appearance of the 2004 season as I listened over KOMO radio in Seattle. It isn't enough that the un-Met, Vladimir Guerrero, hit his third homer of the young season while Met fans pray collectively that a certain disc might herniate a certain former free agent to the disabled list in a vain effort to prove that tossing that much money on "damaged goods" would have resulted in just another Fat Mo. The Mariners were up 4-2 until the 6th when Bengie Molina hit a two run homer to tie the score. From thereonafter, it was only a matter of time for the Mariner's leaky bullpen to disintegrate. The "Herky Jerky Lefty" Mike Myers did a number on Mariner hopes by sheparding
Yup, looks like the Mariners, in losing their 4th straight game against the Angels, blowing 4-0 leads, are conceding the AL West already, choking a good four months earlier than usual. They have given up an unprecedented number of runs when they already have two outs. Last night's game saw them surrender two two-run homers with two outs. Whaddaya know, Mariners, holding steady in last place with one win in seven games thus far. Good. That's for Starbucks, baby.
Can anyone say "Repeat"?
Marlins sensation Miguel Cabrera homered twice, drove in three runs and extended his hitting streak to seven games and Brad Penny struck out ten and gave up only two hits over 8 innings as the Marlins continued their hold on first place.
In what should be a continued battle all season, it might be fun to keep a running count of basic batting stats between Cabrera and St Louis' Albert Pujols.
Thus far:
Cabrera: 7 games, 1.000 slugging, .429 OBP, .385 batting average, 5 homers, 8 rbis in 26 at bats. For those of you playing at home, that pans out to about 116 homers and 185 ribbies for the season. And they say that the dismissal of steroids and the advent of supahstah pitchers spell the doom of such numbers...
Pujols: 9 games, .725 slugging, .405 OBP, .294 batting average, 4 homers and 11 rbis in 34 at bats. You can almost feel him losing his grip on everyone's favourite phenom, can't you?
Of course, when you're thinking about MVP again, you're thinking about Barry Bonds, who after hitting 661 doesn't appear to wither from the steroid critics who have still only proven by implication, not by fact.
Bonds: 8 games, .960 slugging, .588 OBP, .440 batting average, 3 homers and 8 rbis in 28 at bats.
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Monday, April 12, 2004
Home Openers In Three Cities
"Begin at the beginning, the King said gravely, and go till you come to the end, then stop." - Lewis Carroll
660 in San Francisco
The SBC Park capacity crowd of 42,548 gave Bonds two standing ovations before the home opener even started. Perhaps in deference to the boos he received whilst playing away and hearing all the sarcasm about steroids tainting his power and grace.
The third standing ovation came in the fifth inning, when Bonds turned on a 3-1 inside fastball from Milwaukee's Matt Kinney and hit a 442-foot home run into McCovey Cove that tied his godfather, Willie Mays, for third on baseball's career home run list. This was the 28th dinger Bonds has homered into the water. It was also Bonds's fourth in five home openers in SF and he finished the day 3 for 3 with four runs batted in and a walk.
Guess those steroids are really kicking in now, eh fellahs?
According to El Lefty Malo, a half-inning after Barry hit the big one, Jon Miller was hyping a "Barry Bonds 660" commemorative hat + T-shirt package for the low, low price of $42.
Better still, Bonds' 3 run banger gave the Giants a 5-4 lead. Like, why were they pitching to him with two outs, two men on and a stiff like Pierzynski on deck? "Maybe I'm just too stupid to walk him every time," Brewers manager Ned Yost said. Yes, maybe so. Too stupid. Good credentials for being the Brewers manager.
Shea Stadium
With a lineup that resembled the B squad more than the starters, Cliff Floyd on the disabled list, Mike Piazza on the mend and Jos? Reyes rehabilitating in Port St. Lucie, Fla., the Mets thrashed the hated Atlanta Braves EVEN with Shane Spencer and Todd Zeile hitting third and fourth in the batting order. In doing so, the Mets took over sole ownership of second place. Heady days indeed.
A magnetic resonance imaging test on Floyd's right quadriceps revealed a strain, but the injury was not as serious as initially feared. Piazza said he should be able to return from his strained right elbow in a couple of days, and Karim Garcia said he hoped to play tomorrow despite a fractured left ring finger.
Matsui, in his Shea debut, reached base three times, drove in two runs with a double, and raised his on-base percentage to .529. Sushi concession at Shea? Cameron, in his Shea debut, made one stunning catch running straight toward the fence and also knocked in two runs with two hits. Not bad.
Perhaps best of all, they had seven runs in two and two-thirds innings against Met no-wanna be and habitual liar, Mike Hampton. Not so happy now, are yea, Mr Hampton? "Hamp-ton, Hamp-ton," "fans taunted the loser and liar, who allegedly left here for the fine Colorado schools, not the $121-million contract that the Rockies quickly regretted bestowing upon him."
Wrigley Field
A decidedly unhappier story opened Wrigley's 2004 season with Greg Maddux taking the mound for the Cubs at Wrigley for the first time in 12 years, Maddux gave up six runs, five of them earned, on eight hits with five walks in 3 2/3 innings. His record dropped to 0-2, and his ERA rose to 7.45. The Cubs lost by a 13-2 margin to the lowly Pirates of Pittsburgh. Seven games into a new season, Kerry Wood is the only Cubs starting pitcher who has won a game and one wonders how long before Cubs fans overreact to the slow start. They are now two games behind the "first place" Cincinnati Reds!
Outside the park, sidewalk vendors peddled cute "Curse Breaker" stuffed billy goats for $10. The Miller beer billboard in the right-field corner had a new motto in place: "Curse Quenching."
It didn't take long for Cubs fans to see the bigger picture. The sellout crowd of 40,483 began booing when Maddux continued to struggle in the third inning after giving up five runs in the second.
Of course, isn't this the modus operandus of Maddux early in the season? Over the past three seasons (2001-2003) he has a 4.06 ERA and a less-than-sterling 7-7 record.
Chances are, when it comes to August and September, Cubbies will be able to rely on Maddux as a cherished third starter.
"Begin at the beginning, the King said gravely, and go till you come to the end, then stop." - Lewis Carroll
660 in San Francisco
The SBC Park capacity crowd of 42,548 gave Bonds two standing ovations before the home opener even started. Perhaps in deference to the boos he received whilst playing away and hearing all the sarcasm about steroids tainting his power and grace.
The third standing ovation came in the fifth inning, when Bonds turned on a 3-1 inside fastball from Milwaukee's Matt Kinney and hit a 442-foot home run into McCovey Cove that tied his godfather, Willie Mays, for third on baseball's career home run list. This was the 28th dinger Bonds has homered into the water. It was also Bonds's fourth in five home openers in SF and he finished the day 3 for 3 with four runs batted in and a walk.
Guess those steroids are really kicking in now, eh fellahs?
According to El Lefty Malo, a half-inning after Barry hit the big one, Jon Miller was hyping a "Barry Bonds 660" commemorative hat + T-shirt package for the low, low price of $42.
Better still, Bonds' 3 run banger gave the Giants a 5-4 lead. Like, why were they pitching to him with two outs, two men on and a stiff like Pierzynski on deck? "Maybe I'm just too stupid to walk him every time," Brewers manager Ned Yost said. Yes, maybe so. Too stupid. Good credentials for being the Brewers manager.
Shea Stadium
With a lineup that resembled the B squad more than the starters, Cliff Floyd on the disabled list, Mike Piazza on the mend and Jos? Reyes rehabilitating in Port St. Lucie, Fla., the Mets thrashed the hated Atlanta Braves EVEN with Shane Spencer and Todd Zeile hitting third and fourth in the batting order. In doing so, the Mets took over sole ownership of second place. Heady days indeed.
A magnetic resonance imaging test on Floyd's right quadriceps revealed a strain, but the injury was not as serious as initially feared. Piazza said he should be able to return from his strained right elbow in a couple of days, and Karim Garcia said he hoped to play tomorrow despite a fractured left ring finger.
Matsui, in his Shea debut, reached base three times, drove in two runs with a double, and raised his on-base percentage to .529. Sushi concession at Shea? Cameron, in his Shea debut, made one stunning catch running straight toward the fence and also knocked in two runs with two hits. Not bad.
Perhaps best of all, they had seven runs in two and two-thirds innings against Met no-wanna be and habitual liar, Mike Hampton. Not so happy now, are yea, Mr Hampton? "Hamp-ton, Hamp-ton," "fans taunted the loser and liar, who allegedly left here for the fine Colorado schools, not the $121-million contract that the Rockies quickly regretted bestowing upon him."
Wrigley Field
A decidedly unhappier story opened Wrigley's 2004 season with Greg Maddux taking the mound for the Cubs at Wrigley for the first time in 12 years, Maddux gave up six runs, five of them earned, on eight hits with five walks in 3 2/3 innings. His record dropped to 0-2, and his ERA rose to 7.45. The Cubs lost by a 13-2 margin to the lowly Pirates of Pittsburgh. Seven games into a new season, Kerry Wood is the only Cubs starting pitcher who has won a game and one wonders how long before Cubs fans overreact to the slow start. They are now two games behind the "first place" Cincinnati Reds!
Outside the park, sidewalk vendors peddled cute "Curse Breaker" stuffed billy goats for $10. The Miller beer billboard in the right-field corner had a new motto in place: "Curse Quenching."
It didn't take long for Cubs fans to see the bigger picture. The sellout crowd of 40,483 began booing when Maddux continued to struggle in the third inning after giving up five runs in the second.
Of course, isn't this the modus operandus of Maddux early in the season? Over the past three seasons (2001-2003) he has a 4.06 ERA and a less-than-sterling 7-7 record.
Chances are, when it comes to August and September, Cubbies will be able to rely on Maddux as a cherished third starter.
Sunday, April 11, 2004
The Elbow That The Long Term Contract Forgot
"The left elbow has always awaited that final, fat contract before squawking its last protest and blowing out entirely. I'd even imagined that while signing the contract with the Astros, it will later be revealed, the final flourish in his signature was the telling blow and that horrific ligament damage had been sustained in the left elbow even as the ink was drying." - Sports Amnesia, 11th December 2003 on the Pettitte signing.
"The left elbow has always awaited that final, fat contract before squawking its last protest and blowing out entirely. I'd even imagined that while signing the contract with the Astros, it will later be revealed, the final flourish in his signature was the telling blow and that horrific ligament damage had been sustained in the left elbow even as the ink was drying." - Sports Amnesia, 11th December 2003 on the Pettitte signing.
Saturday, March 27, 2004
Everyone Is Doing It: So Shall I
Since tis the season, etc., predictions, baseball in the air (well, not here, on the Channel coast) but in other places, surely, here are the Official 2004 Sports Amnesia Baseball Predictions and the Governing Logic behind them:
AL East: Boston, NYY, Toronto, Tampa Bay, Baltimore:
Yes, the Red Sox-Yankee hatred is incubating nicely. But I agree with the lads at East Coast Agony. This shouldn't be of concern to the casual Tiger or the wallowing Royal. This rivalry is about two primary East Coast cities. As usual, in situations where the outcome is uncertain or too close to gauge, I rely upon the arbitrary logic to see me through. I can't just pick the Sox because I hate the Yankees. Well, I could, but what wouldn't be entirely accurate any more. Over the last season, I've developed a pleasant disgust for Red Sox fans as well. Too many of them appear to be right wing zealots mouthing Irish Catholic Conservative vitriol in addition to their anti-Yankee bonbons. Pedro spends more time whining than pitching and fails every time in the clutch against the Yankees. Manny Ramirez is a punk. The only thing I like about the Red Sox is Curt Schilling. The Sox lost the battle for A-Rod, but all hitting aside, the Yankees rotation and the Yankees bullpen and the Yankees age will prove to be their Achilles Heels. I'd take Toronto for second but for the fact that they haven't got a Steinbrenner and a trillion dollar cable tv rights contract that will allow them to buy up the remaining All Stars left standing once the Yankees are done pissing and spitting, is a severe disadvantage. Plus Toronto sucks as a city and frankly, only one Canadian team a year deserves the post season. Sox get the nod even though they didn't get the Rod.
AL Central: Chicago WhiteSox, Kansas City, Minnesota, Cleveland, Detroit
You can listen all you want to the tales of Minnesota's farm system, the one that churns out clutch postseason players like Celine Dion churns out stomach-turning songs, but their losses were too heavy this offseason to just grin and bear and yank another young lad up to the stage by the earlobe. Besides, haven't you heard? The White Sox are warning of a mystery man and have already traded for Timo Perez. Fat Frank Thomas, underachieving Paul Konerko and dissatisfied Magglio Ordonez make up quite a team of malcontents. But look, KC can't surprise anyone this season and I-Rod is dumb enough to leave a World Champion for the dustbin. There's no one left. White Sox by default.
AL West: Oakland A's, Anaheim Angels, Seattle Mariners, Texas
Let's get this straight. Seattle will never win anything because they chokechokechoke. Every year. You can look it up. Secondly, the Angels with their hiphop hispanic makeover and the Latino Quarter in the ownership bin are not going anywhere but into the aisles of disappointment. No team spends trillions on free agency and wins. Apparently, the new ownership missed that fact. Oakland has the pitching and we all know how much Sports Amnesia loves the pitching. Oh, and you can be sure that Texas isn't going anywhere until Buck Showalter is fired because no team that Buck Showalter manages ever wins a championship until after he leaves the building.
WC: NY Yankees
Law of averages. You can't spend a trillion dollars and not win something.
NL East: Montreal, Atlanta, NY Mets, Philadelphia, Florida
Montreal are my 2004 Team From Nowhere. Last year it was Florida, the year before, it was Anaheim. This year it will be the Expos. Why? Because the NL East is the weakest division in MLB and is totally up for grabs. Momentum will build up and who knows, if we're all lucky, there will be another Selig-manufactured debacle of catostrophic importance, like the World Series being played in Hiram Boca Stadium, or whatever the fuck that minor league stadium in Puerto Rico where a team from Canada plays most of their home games is called. If a French Canadian team playing in a Spanish-speaking islet isn't the recipe for success in MLB's idiotic hierarchy these days, than I don't know what is. Phuck Philly. They aren't going anywhere with a rabid rodent like Larry Bowa at the helm. Millwood will suck this year. The bullpen will suck and no one will be around to back up Jim Thome. Atlanta? A distant memory. Florida? They've got Armandogeddon closing, enough said. My Mets? A whiplash accident waiting to happen. The Expos are my Shadow Team of 2004.
NL Central: Chicago, Houston, St Louis, Cincinnati, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh
Yeah, this is real hard. A team with one of the best managers in baseball, best pitching staff and a long legacy of losing against a team from Texas which has tried to buy its way into competition by hiring half the Yankees starting rotation. Roger Clemens sucks and I look forward to seeing him gathering dust on the DL alongside his shipmate and possible between the lines lover, Andy Pettitte. The only team with an outside shot of topping the Cubs are the Reds and that's only if Junior hits 75 homeruns because I'm so tired of hearing how Junior is back juxtaposed with all the Junior for Who trade speculation. Any division with Milwaukee and Pittsburgh deserves their obscurity.
NL West: Arizona, San Fran, SD, LA
Wow, a tossup, isn't it, between a bunch of teams that suck. Sounds disturbingly similar to the NL East without Bonds and without Randy Johnson. That is what this season comes down to: Who has a better season, Randy Johnson, or Barry Bonds. The Dodgers have no hitting and their pitching is rapidly waning. SD is well, SD. No amount of splashy free agent retread signings are going to change that. Without steroids, Bonds is going to get hurt more often meaning the Giants will have to win without him, which they can't. Advantage, Arizona.
WC: Atlanta: The logic behind this is that now that they have no one, they might actually overachieve instead of underachieve when the games actually mean something.
ALCS: White Sox over Oakland: I've just got a feeling about the White Sox. Nausea. But, frankly, the Red Sox can't stop second guessing themselves and the Yankees aren't going anywhere without a shopping cart. I give the nod to the White Sox because the Yankees will still be jet-lagged by Japan. Pobre Oakland. All those arms and no titles. Beaneball, Scummyball, fuck em all.
NLCS: Montreal over Chicago Cubs: How about a redux of last year's last minute collapse? Even though it is the year of the Cubs, the truth of the matter is, the Expos will be playing without a curse hovering over them.
AL MVP: Eric Chavez, Oakland
NL MVP: Randy Johnson, Arizona
AL Cy Young: Curt Schilling, Boston
NL Cy Young: Randy Johnson, Chicago Cubs
WORLD SERIES:
Montreal Expos over Chicago White Sox: Just another Seligful moment in a brief hysterectomy of time.
*****
Adu to Make Debut next Saturday, perhaps opening American eyes to football.
Since tis the season, etc., predictions, baseball in the air (well, not here, on the Channel coast) but in other places, surely, here are the Official 2004 Sports Amnesia Baseball Predictions and the Governing Logic behind them:
AL East: Boston, NYY, Toronto, Tampa Bay, Baltimore:
Yes, the Red Sox-Yankee hatred is incubating nicely. But I agree with the lads at East Coast Agony. This shouldn't be of concern to the casual Tiger or the wallowing Royal. This rivalry is about two primary East Coast cities. As usual, in situations where the outcome is uncertain or too close to gauge, I rely upon the arbitrary logic to see me through. I can't just pick the Sox because I hate the Yankees. Well, I could, but what wouldn't be entirely accurate any more. Over the last season, I've developed a pleasant disgust for Red Sox fans as well. Too many of them appear to be right wing zealots mouthing Irish Catholic Conservative vitriol in addition to their anti-Yankee bonbons. Pedro spends more time whining than pitching and fails every time in the clutch against the Yankees. Manny Ramirez is a punk. The only thing I like about the Red Sox is Curt Schilling. The Sox lost the battle for A-Rod, but all hitting aside, the Yankees rotation and the Yankees bullpen and the Yankees age will prove to be their Achilles Heels. I'd take Toronto for second but for the fact that they haven't got a Steinbrenner and a trillion dollar cable tv rights contract that will allow them to buy up the remaining All Stars left standing once the Yankees are done pissing and spitting, is a severe disadvantage. Plus Toronto sucks as a city and frankly, only one Canadian team a year deserves the post season. Sox get the nod even though they didn't get the Rod.
AL Central: Chicago WhiteSox, Kansas City, Minnesota, Cleveland, Detroit
You can listen all you want to the tales of Minnesota's farm system, the one that churns out clutch postseason players like Celine Dion churns out stomach-turning songs, but their losses were too heavy this offseason to just grin and bear and yank another young lad up to the stage by the earlobe. Besides, haven't you heard? The White Sox are warning of a mystery man and have already traded for Timo Perez. Fat Frank Thomas, underachieving Paul Konerko and dissatisfied Magglio Ordonez make up quite a team of malcontents. But look, KC can't surprise anyone this season and I-Rod is dumb enough to leave a World Champion for the dustbin. There's no one left. White Sox by default.
AL West: Oakland A's, Anaheim Angels, Seattle Mariners, Texas
Let's get this straight. Seattle will never win anything because they chokechokechoke. Every year. You can look it up. Secondly, the Angels with their hiphop hispanic makeover and the Latino Quarter in the ownership bin are not going anywhere but into the aisles of disappointment. No team spends trillions on free agency and wins. Apparently, the new ownership missed that fact. Oakland has the pitching and we all know how much Sports Amnesia loves the pitching. Oh, and you can be sure that Texas isn't going anywhere until Buck Showalter is fired because no team that Buck Showalter manages ever wins a championship until after he leaves the building.
WC: NY Yankees
Law of averages. You can't spend a trillion dollars and not win something.
NL East: Montreal, Atlanta, NY Mets, Philadelphia, Florida
Montreal are my 2004 Team From Nowhere. Last year it was Florida, the year before, it was Anaheim. This year it will be the Expos. Why? Because the NL East is the weakest division in MLB and is totally up for grabs. Momentum will build up and who knows, if we're all lucky, there will be another Selig-manufactured debacle of catostrophic importance, like the World Series being played in Hiram Boca Stadium, or whatever the fuck that minor league stadium in Puerto Rico where a team from Canada plays most of their home games is called. If a French Canadian team playing in a Spanish-speaking islet isn't the recipe for success in MLB's idiotic hierarchy these days, than I don't know what is. Phuck Philly. They aren't going anywhere with a rabid rodent like Larry Bowa at the helm. Millwood will suck this year. The bullpen will suck and no one will be around to back up Jim Thome. Atlanta? A distant memory. Florida? They've got Armandogeddon closing, enough said. My Mets? A whiplash accident waiting to happen. The Expos are my Shadow Team of 2004.
NL Central: Chicago, Houston, St Louis, Cincinnati, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh
Yeah, this is real hard. A team with one of the best managers in baseball, best pitching staff and a long legacy of losing against a team from Texas which has tried to buy its way into competition by hiring half the Yankees starting rotation. Roger Clemens sucks and I look forward to seeing him gathering dust on the DL alongside his shipmate and possible between the lines lover, Andy Pettitte. The only team with an outside shot of topping the Cubs are the Reds and that's only if Junior hits 75 homeruns because I'm so tired of hearing how Junior is back juxtaposed with all the Junior for Who trade speculation. Any division with Milwaukee and Pittsburgh deserves their obscurity.
NL West: Arizona, San Fran, SD, LA
Wow, a tossup, isn't it, between a bunch of teams that suck. Sounds disturbingly similar to the NL East without Bonds and without Randy Johnson. That is what this season comes down to: Who has a better season, Randy Johnson, or Barry Bonds. The Dodgers have no hitting and their pitching is rapidly waning. SD is well, SD. No amount of splashy free agent retread signings are going to change that. Without steroids, Bonds is going to get hurt more often meaning the Giants will have to win without him, which they can't. Advantage, Arizona.
WC: Atlanta: The logic behind this is that now that they have no one, they might actually overachieve instead of underachieve when the games actually mean something.
ALCS: White Sox over Oakland: I've just got a feeling about the White Sox. Nausea. But, frankly, the Red Sox can't stop second guessing themselves and the Yankees aren't going anywhere without a shopping cart. I give the nod to the White Sox because the Yankees will still be jet-lagged by Japan. Pobre Oakland. All those arms and no titles. Beaneball, Scummyball, fuck em all.
NLCS: Montreal over Chicago Cubs: How about a redux of last year's last minute collapse? Even though it is the year of the Cubs, the truth of the matter is, the Expos will be playing without a curse hovering over them.
AL MVP: Eric Chavez, Oakland
NL MVP: Randy Johnson, Arizona
AL Cy Young: Curt Schilling, Boston
NL Cy Young: Randy Johnson, Chicago Cubs
WORLD SERIES:
Montreal Expos over Chicago White Sox: Just another Seligful moment in a brief hysterectomy of time.
*****
Adu to Make Debut next Saturday, perhaps opening American eyes to football.
I'm Tired and I Need Some Sushi
Hula Howe removed Kaz Matsui after four innings and will give his shortstop a day off Saturday. "He's worked so hard that he's physically tired," Howe said. Matsui will not travel with the team to Orlando.
Matsui, who played 1,143 straight games in Japan, said he is "very grateful" for the day off. He went 0-for-2 Friday and is 10-for-53 (.189) in spring training. "A little fatigue has built up," he said. "I'm a little tired, yes."
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick! He's tired after a few weeks of Spring Training?!? Half of which was spent on the DL??? What's he going to be like in June, retired? Bad Omen Number 200.
At least someone still appreciates Bobby V. The folks in Japan have even built a shrine for him.
Most Optimistic of Opening Day Lineups:
Cameron CF .366-3-8 with 3 SBs
Matsui SS .196-1-5 with 1 SB
Reyes 2B .320-0-3 with 1 SB
Piazza C .364-4-16
Floyd LF .333-1-6
Wiggy 3B .306-2-6 with 3 SBs
Phillips 1B .260-3-6
R Gonzo RF .292-5-8
Pitcher:
Glavine 0-2 1.50
Leiter 1-0 5.00
Trachsel 1-0 2.00
Seo 0-1 6.75
Yates 3-0 0.64
Pen
O Moreno 15 inn 0.60 2 bb 12 k
Wheeler 11.2 0.77 1 bb 12 k
Weathers 11 2.45 3 bb 12 k
Bottalico 9.1 0.96 1 bb 4 k
Franco 9.1 1.93 2 bb 14 k
Stanton 8.0 7.88 3 bb 4 k
CLOSER/LOSER
Looper 8.0 7.88 0 bb 6 k
*****
Analysis: Injuries are the biggest factor on a team with two players with bone spurs, one perennially hamstrung superstar, a "tired" Japanese import and an aging catcher coming off a major injury. This does not address the upper 30's starting rotation which will break down repeatedly, the lack of real depth beyond them and a possibly horrific closer.
*****
NL East Predictions:
Montreal
Atlanta
Philly
Florida
Mets
Hula Howe removed Kaz Matsui after four innings and will give his shortstop a day off Saturday. "He's worked so hard that he's physically tired," Howe said. Matsui will not travel with the team to Orlando.
Matsui, who played 1,143 straight games in Japan, said he is "very grateful" for the day off. He went 0-for-2 Friday and is 10-for-53 (.189) in spring training. "A little fatigue has built up," he said. "I'm a little tired, yes."
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick! He's tired after a few weeks of Spring Training?!? Half of which was spent on the DL??? What's he going to be like in June, retired? Bad Omen Number 200.
At least someone still appreciates Bobby V. The folks in Japan have even built a shrine for him.
Most Optimistic of Opening Day Lineups:
Cameron CF .366-3-8 with 3 SBs
Matsui SS .196-1-5 with 1 SB
Reyes 2B .320-0-3 with 1 SB
Piazza C .364-4-16
Floyd LF .333-1-6
Wiggy 3B .306-2-6 with 3 SBs
Phillips 1B .260-3-6
R Gonzo RF .292-5-8
Pitcher:
Glavine 0-2 1.50
Leiter 1-0 5.00
Trachsel 1-0 2.00
Seo 0-1 6.75
Yates 3-0 0.64
Pen
O Moreno 15 inn 0.60 2 bb 12 k
Wheeler 11.2 0.77 1 bb 12 k
Weathers 11 2.45 3 bb 12 k
Bottalico 9.1 0.96 1 bb 4 k
Franco 9.1 1.93 2 bb 14 k
Stanton 8.0 7.88 3 bb 4 k
CLOSER/LOSER
Looper 8.0 7.88 0 bb 6 k
*****
Analysis: Injuries are the biggest factor on a team with two players with bone spurs, one perennially hamstrung superstar, a "tired" Japanese import and an aging catcher coming off a major injury. This does not address the upper 30's starting rotation which will break down repeatedly, the lack of real depth beyond them and a possibly horrific closer.
*****
NL East Predictions:
Montreal
Atlanta
Philly
Florida
Mets
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Whipping Boys
For those of you who think the RF slot in Shea is cemented, you might be curious to note that Sports Amnesia's 2004 whipping boy, Roger Cedeno Is Up For Grabs.
"He's played left, center and right fields, and all of them equally horrendously," the ad reads. ". . . He used to be quite fast, but as he's gotten older and somewhat fatter on his contract, even that last vestige of value has left him. He cannot run the bases, he cannot play defense, he cannot hit for average."
And yes, on the second day in a row that Wonderkind Reyes was able to take batting practice without hurting himself or his delicately girlish gams, hundred year old hurler, Al Leiter discovered a cranky shoulder.
I see a consistent theme developing for the season and it spells out M-E-T-S I-N L-A-S-T P-L-A-C-E.
The one redeeming factor of yet another disppointing Mets season of losses and excuses is that it will hopefully result in the dismissal of Hula Howe. I've done some research on the matter and there does not appear to be a Fire Art Howe website yet. Sounds like a need crying out. Sports Amnesia will work on this and give a solution tomorrow.
Speaking of whipping boys, Sports Amnesia's Whipping Boy of 2003, Armandogeddon, for no apparent reason, was booed by his own fans when he entered for the ninth inning Thursday. "He got the same reception as last year," Mets general manager Jim Duquette said. "Too bad for him." Boo Hoo Benitez, who entered with the score tied at 1, got Danny Garcia on a pop-up to preserve the tie (the game was stopped after 11 innings with the score still tied at 1). It was the first time Benitez faced his former club since he was traded to the Yankees last season. "It's in the past, man," Benitez said. "I've got a new team, a new life. I'll be fine." . . . . Unless the Marlins have to play in any meaningful games this season they aren't already winning by twenty runs, that is.
*****
We are getting perilously close to the start of the season. The Yankees have already left for the confounding cultural differences of Japan. Even though he heartily endorsed the trip, King George is not following his minions to Japan. Of course, that could be for his fear of a terrorist attack on the Yankees. Police escorts will usher the Yankees everywhere. Black Hawk helicopters will wing the team to Camp Zoma, for a meet-and-greet with American soldiers.
Meanwhile, can anyone resist the poetic (in)justice of A-Rod Getting Hurt Against the Red Sox?
*****
Wouldn't this make for a great Game Seven of the 2004 World Series?
Cubs 2, A's 1 with Sammy Sosa getting three hits and driving in the go-ahead run and Kerry Wood allowing a run in 6 1-3 innings? In the real world, the Cubs confirmed that P Mark Prior will start the season on the DL. He is expected to be able to return during the team's first homestand, which is from April 12-19.
*****
A few days ago I mocked the Padres' chances this season because they noted that this season's likely number one draft pick was better than anyone they currently had in their rotation. Long Beach State's Jered Weaver, the man they were on about, was at it again last night, striking out 16 in six innings.
*****
Food for Thought: The Mets aren't willing to give up a pitcher who may or may not be good in a few years for what could be the Superstar of their lineup, Alfonso Soriano. Yesterday, Soriano homered to beat the Royals and has already had a 12 game hitting streak in Spring Training. He is currently hitting .347 with 4 stolen bases and a homer in 15 games.
*****
Bookmarks Revealed: Yeah, it might be a little late in the game but there once was a nice petition for Mets owner Freddy BoomBoom Wilpon to sign Vlad courtesy of East Coast Agony.
For those of you who think the RF slot in Shea is cemented, you might be curious to note that Sports Amnesia's 2004 whipping boy, Roger Cedeno Is Up For Grabs.
"He's played left, center and right fields, and all of them equally horrendously," the ad reads. ". . . He used to be quite fast, but as he's gotten older and somewhat fatter on his contract, even that last vestige of value has left him. He cannot run the bases, he cannot play defense, he cannot hit for average."
And yes, on the second day in a row that Wonderkind Reyes was able to take batting practice without hurting himself or his delicately girlish gams, hundred year old hurler, Al Leiter discovered a cranky shoulder.
I see a consistent theme developing for the season and it spells out M-E-T-S I-N L-A-S-T P-L-A-C-E.
The one redeeming factor of yet another disppointing Mets season of losses and excuses is that it will hopefully result in the dismissal of Hula Howe. I've done some research on the matter and there does not appear to be a Fire Art Howe website yet. Sounds like a need crying out. Sports Amnesia will work on this and give a solution tomorrow.
Speaking of whipping boys, Sports Amnesia's Whipping Boy of 2003, Armandogeddon, for no apparent reason, was booed by his own fans when he entered for the ninth inning Thursday. "He got the same reception as last year," Mets general manager Jim Duquette said. "Too bad for him." Boo Hoo Benitez, who entered with the score tied at 1, got Danny Garcia on a pop-up to preserve the tie (the game was stopped after 11 innings with the score still tied at 1). It was the first time Benitez faced his former club since he was traded to the Yankees last season. "It's in the past, man," Benitez said. "I've got a new team, a new life. I'll be fine." . . . . Unless the Marlins have to play in any meaningful games this season they aren't already winning by twenty runs, that is.
*****
We are getting perilously close to the start of the season. The Yankees have already left for the confounding cultural differences of Japan. Even though he heartily endorsed the trip, King George is not following his minions to Japan. Of course, that could be for his fear of a terrorist attack on the Yankees. Police escorts will usher the Yankees everywhere. Black Hawk helicopters will wing the team to Camp Zoma, for a meet-and-greet with American soldiers.
Meanwhile, can anyone resist the poetic (in)justice of A-Rod Getting Hurt Against the Red Sox?
*****
Wouldn't this make for a great Game Seven of the 2004 World Series?
Cubs 2, A's 1 with Sammy Sosa getting three hits and driving in the go-ahead run and Kerry Wood allowing a run in 6 1-3 innings? In the real world, the Cubs confirmed that P Mark Prior will start the season on the DL. He is expected to be able to return during the team's first homestand, which is from April 12-19.
*****
A few days ago I mocked the Padres' chances this season because they noted that this season's likely number one draft pick was better than anyone they currently had in their rotation. Long Beach State's Jered Weaver, the man they were on about, was at it again last night, striking out 16 in six innings.
*****
Food for Thought: The Mets aren't willing to give up a pitcher who may or may not be good in a few years for what could be the Superstar of their lineup, Alfonso Soriano. Yesterday, Soriano homered to beat the Royals and has already had a 12 game hitting streak in Spring Training. He is currently hitting .347 with 4 stolen bases and a homer in 15 games.
*****
Bookmarks Revealed: Yeah, it might be a little late in the game but there once was a nice petition for Mets owner Freddy BoomBoom Wilpon to sign Vlad courtesy of East Coast Agony.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Where the Fuck Are You Now, Bruce Chen, Bruce Chen?
I know it's probably not important but I couldn't help but a small brain stutter when I read that he Blue Jays sent P Bruce Chen to the minors and wonder when and how he ever got Toronto-way to begin with. Then I started wondering how many teams he's been on lately, where has he wandered?
Panama City Bruce Chen has been with Atlanta, Philly, the Mets, Philly, Cincinnati, Montreal, Mets again, Boston, Houston, and now Toronto and now the minor leagues -- all in a mere five years of playing!!!
Settle down, Bruce. For crissakes. Your parents are looking for you.
*****
Next time I think I've found a cool baseball name, I'm going to remember that the Padres just sent down Tagg Bozied and I'm going to wait for him to make it back up to San Diego so he can be my favourite player after Florida's Hee Seop Choi, who we all hope has recovered from the nasty head injury he suffered at the hands of Kerry Wood against the Yankees last season after a particularly nasty and exciting collision.
*****
Bookmarks revealed: The Brushback, tops in absurdist sports news.
*****
Mets Update: The Mets' spring training complex was deserted yesterday except for a handful of minor-leaguers, a few front- office members and No. 1 starter Tom Glavine. An off day is not an off day if it happens to be your turn in the rotation, and Glavine suited up for an impromptu simulated game on the facility's only artificial turf field. He pitched six innings without incident and then could enjoy the rest of the afternoon, comfortable in the knowledge that he remains on track for Opening Day.
Lovely. How many runs will he surrender this opening day? A dozen? Half dozen?
Oh yeah, and whilst we're on about the crap rotation of the Mets, wunderkind Grant Roberts was rocked like a baby's cradle against the bloody Expos, my odds-on favourite to win the NL East this season.
And hey, if you like your Spring to be eternally hopeful, you can read about how the Human Hammy, Jose Reyes just might be back in time to injure himself again for Opening Day. Oh joy.
"But once he passes that exam, Reyes should be able to get back into the lineup, where he hopes to play his first game with shortstop Kazuo Matsui, unless the string of bad luck continues and Matsui reinjures his right middle finger."
Right. Unless Unless Unless.
Unless UnMets.
Aren't they supposed to wait until April before Futility Rears Its Ugly Head?
I know it's probably not important but I couldn't help but a small brain stutter when I read that he Blue Jays sent P Bruce Chen to the minors and wonder when and how he ever got Toronto-way to begin with. Then I started wondering how many teams he's been on lately, where has he wandered?
Panama City Bruce Chen has been with Atlanta, Philly, the Mets, Philly, Cincinnati, Montreal, Mets again, Boston, Houston, and now Toronto and now the minor leagues -- all in a mere five years of playing!!!
Settle down, Bruce. For crissakes. Your parents are looking for you.
*****
Next time I think I've found a cool baseball name, I'm going to remember that the Padres just sent down Tagg Bozied and I'm going to wait for him to make it back up to San Diego so he can be my favourite player after Florida's Hee Seop Choi, who we all hope has recovered from the nasty head injury he suffered at the hands of Kerry Wood against the Yankees last season after a particularly nasty and exciting collision.
*****
Bookmarks revealed: The Brushback, tops in absurdist sports news.
*****
Mets Update: The Mets' spring training complex was deserted yesterday except for a handful of minor-leaguers, a few front- office members and No. 1 starter Tom Glavine. An off day is not an off day if it happens to be your turn in the rotation, and Glavine suited up for an impromptu simulated game on the facility's only artificial turf field. He pitched six innings without incident and then could enjoy the rest of the afternoon, comfortable in the knowledge that he remains on track for Opening Day.
Lovely. How many runs will he surrender this opening day? A dozen? Half dozen?
Oh yeah, and whilst we're on about the crap rotation of the Mets, wunderkind Grant Roberts was rocked like a baby's cradle against the bloody Expos, my odds-on favourite to win the NL East this season.
And hey, if you like your Spring to be eternally hopeful, you can read about how the Human Hammy, Jose Reyes just might be back in time to injure himself again for Opening Day. Oh joy.
"But once he passes that exam, Reyes should be able to get back into the lineup, where he hopes to play his first game with shortstop Kazuo Matsui, unless the string of bad luck continues and Matsui reinjures his right middle finger."
Right. Unless Unless Unless.
Unless UnMets.
Aren't they supposed to wait until April before Futility Rears Its Ugly Head?
Monday, March 22, 2004
Training My Spring
Couldn't resist a little Peter Gammons reviewing the AL West since I've not read anything else and have fallen behind all of Spring Training save for knowing the Red Sox and Yankees both have injury troubles that could tip them over the edge before the season even starts. So Gammons says, AL West could be the site of the Wildcard. Intriguing except you know the Mariners are never going to amount to anything when they can't stop choking down the stretch and frankly, there's something ridiculous about the Angels making it again.
I'd go with the A's because of pitching. I wouldn't go with the Angels for even the Wildcard. Frankly, I'd like to see the Wildcard come out of the AL Central. White Sox and Royals? White Sox and Cubs World Series.
Right.
Here's how you know the Padres won't make it anywhere this year:
If the draft were held tomorrow, Jared Weaver would be the Padres' pick at No. 1. "He's as good as what we have," says one San Diego official. -- if he's as good as what they have and he's never pitched in the Major Leagues before, well, you do the math. PADRES ELIMINATED ALREADY.
Also notable: Gammons points out: "Just for some perspective on the meaning of won-loss records in spring training, the Marlins were 14-16 last spring, and the last five world champions were a combined 77-84 in the springs they won. Of course over the last five years the Yankees have two world championships, four pennants and five divisional titles, and have a combined spring training record of 71-86."
But AHA! How many teams with winning records in Spring Training went on to win the world series? Well, I had a quick search and found that there was a column on ESPN last March about this:
To get a sense of how well spring training records predict regular season success, we'll look at all spring training records back to 1996 (stopping there before we got to the severely abbreviated spring training of 1995). Let's look first at the very best spring teams.
Does a great spring mean a great regular season? Here are the 15 top spring records since 1996, along with records in the subsequent regular season:
Spring Training Reg Season
Team Year W L Pct W L Pct
Florida 1997 26 5 .839 92 70 .568
Boston 1998 20 8 .714 92 70 .568
Kansas City 1999 22 9 .710 64 97 .398
Los Angeles 1999 21 9 .700 77 85 .475
Baltimore 2002 20 9 .690 67 95 .414
Oakland 2001 22 10 .688 102 60 .630
Arizona 1999 22 10 .688 100 62 .617
Houston 2002 19 9 .679 84 78 .519
Texas 1998 21 10 .677 88 74 .543
California 1996 21 10 .677 70 91 .435
Baltimore 1998 18 9 .667 79 83 .488
Detroit 1996 20 10 .667 53 109 .327
Arizona 2002 23 12 .657 98 64 .605
St. Louis 1997 21 11 .656 73 89 .451
San Diego 1998 19 10 .655 98 64 .605
TOTALS 315 141 .691 1237 1191 .509
There isn't much reason to believe in spring training records here. Seven of these 15 March Monsters finished below .500 in the regular season. There are some outstanding teams on this list, but there are some truly awful teams too. In particular, notice the great spring put together by the 1996 Detroit Tigers. After they left Florida, they turned out to be the very worst major league team since the '60s.
*****
A look back at the Spring Training Yankees in 1951
Thanks Babe details Ruthian Spring Trainings:
"He was known as a tireless sexual athlete. One night, according to an often-told story that may not be true, but probably should be, Ruth brought a woman into the hotel suite he shared with the outfielder Bob Meusel. Meusel, half-asleep in his own room, tried to ignore the great commotion coming from Babe's room. Finally it stopped. Then Meusel smelled cigar smoke. Minutes later, the yells and cries returned, followed minutes later by more cigar smoke. Between noise and cigar smoke, Meusel slept badly that night.
In the morning, Meusel asked his roommate how many times he had been romantic.
"Count the cigars," Ruth said.
Seven butts lay in the ash tray."
*****
Bookmarks Revealed: a great new baseball site: The Hardball Times
*****
Hey, what about ESPN's Ten Players Most Likely To Be Moved piece?
The Rangers reportedly would trade Alfonso Soriano to the Mets for Scott Kazmir, but New York is reluctant to part with its prized pitching prospect. No secret there. But at least they're down from asking for Reyes. Frankly, Soriano is a proven commodity. Kazmir, to date, isn't. I'm not so enamoured with prospects, these can't miss numbers, especially when they're pitchers. I remember when the Mets traded (careful, this is a PDF link) Octavio Dotel, etc for what in essence amounted to Mike Hampton -- and at the time everyone was whining and worrying because Dotel had so much potential. He was going to be a starter, an ace, better than Hampton's wet dreams. Sure, he's a good pitcher but let's say the Mets had been able to resign Hampton -- it'd have been a better deal overall. Dotel has been with the Astros since 2000 as a nice set-up guy and now he's an unproven closer, FOUR YEARS LATER.
For my money, I'd trade Kazmir, take the chance and add Soriano. Not that it matters anyway with Reyes always out hurt, two thirds of the outfield nursing bone spurs in their lower extremities which could sideline for the season at any minute and Piazza remaining a liability at the plate.
I'd package Piazza off to the AL whilst he still has some potential. Mariners? Red Sox? Yankees? He'd make a lovely DH for the right team and maybe the Mets could get another arm to fill in their LOSER ROTATION for this up and coming season.
*****
And finally, more good news: Newcastle boss Sir Bobby Robson has revealed he may remain at St James' Park after his current contract finishes at the end of next season.
Couldn't resist a little Peter Gammons reviewing the AL West since I've not read anything else and have fallen behind all of Spring Training save for knowing the Red Sox and Yankees both have injury troubles that could tip them over the edge before the season even starts. So Gammons says, AL West could be the site of the Wildcard. Intriguing except you know the Mariners are never going to amount to anything when they can't stop choking down the stretch and frankly, there's something ridiculous about the Angels making it again.
I'd go with the A's because of pitching. I wouldn't go with the Angels for even the Wildcard. Frankly, I'd like to see the Wildcard come out of the AL Central. White Sox and Royals? White Sox and Cubs World Series.
Right.
Here's how you know the Padres won't make it anywhere this year:
If the draft were held tomorrow, Jared Weaver would be the Padres' pick at No. 1. "He's as good as what we have," says one San Diego official. -- if he's as good as what they have and he's never pitched in the Major Leagues before, well, you do the math. PADRES ELIMINATED ALREADY.
Also notable: Gammons points out: "Just for some perspective on the meaning of won-loss records in spring training, the Marlins were 14-16 last spring, and the last five world champions were a combined 77-84 in the springs they won. Of course over the last five years the Yankees have two world championships, four pennants and five divisional titles, and have a combined spring training record of 71-86."
But AHA! How many teams with winning records in Spring Training went on to win the world series? Well, I had a quick search and found that there was a column on ESPN last March about this:
To get a sense of how well spring training records predict regular season success, we'll look at all spring training records back to 1996 (stopping there before we got to the severely abbreviated spring training of 1995). Let's look first at the very best spring teams.
Does a great spring mean a great regular season? Here are the 15 top spring records since 1996, along with records in the subsequent regular season:
Spring Training Reg Season
Team Year W L Pct W L Pct
Florida 1997 26 5 .839 92 70 .568
Boston 1998 20 8 .714 92 70 .568
Kansas City 1999 22 9 .710 64 97 .398
Los Angeles 1999 21 9 .700 77 85 .475
Baltimore 2002 20 9 .690 67 95 .414
Oakland 2001 22 10 .688 102 60 .630
Arizona 1999 22 10 .688 100 62 .617
Houston 2002 19 9 .679 84 78 .519
Texas 1998 21 10 .677 88 74 .543
California 1996 21 10 .677 70 91 .435
Baltimore 1998 18 9 .667 79 83 .488
Detroit 1996 20 10 .667 53 109 .327
Arizona 2002 23 12 .657 98 64 .605
St. Louis 1997 21 11 .656 73 89 .451
San Diego 1998 19 10 .655 98 64 .605
TOTALS 315 141 .691 1237 1191 .509
There isn't much reason to believe in spring training records here. Seven of these 15 March Monsters finished below .500 in the regular season. There are some outstanding teams on this list, but there are some truly awful teams too. In particular, notice the great spring put together by the 1996 Detroit Tigers. After they left Florida, they turned out to be the very worst major league team since the '60s.
*****
A look back at the Spring Training Yankees in 1951
Thanks Babe details Ruthian Spring Trainings:
"He was known as a tireless sexual athlete. One night, according to an often-told story that may not be true, but probably should be, Ruth brought a woman into the hotel suite he shared with the outfielder Bob Meusel. Meusel, half-asleep in his own room, tried to ignore the great commotion coming from Babe's room. Finally it stopped. Then Meusel smelled cigar smoke. Minutes later, the yells and cries returned, followed minutes later by more cigar smoke. Between noise and cigar smoke, Meusel slept badly that night.
In the morning, Meusel asked his roommate how many times he had been romantic.
"Count the cigars," Ruth said.
Seven butts lay in the ash tray."
*****
Bookmarks Revealed: a great new baseball site: The Hardball Times
*****
Hey, what about ESPN's Ten Players Most Likely To Be Moved piece?
The Rangers reportedly would trade Alfonso Soriano to the Mets for Scott Kazmir, but New York is reluctant to part with its prized pitching prospect. No secret there. But at least they're down from asking for Reyes. Frankly, Soriano is a proven commodity. Kazmir, to date, isn't. I'm not so enamoured with prospects, these can't miss numbers, especially when they're pitchers. I remember when the Mets traded (careful, this is a PDF link) Octavio Dotel, etc for what in essence amounted to Mike Hampton -- and at the time everyone was whining and worrying because Dotel had so much potential. He was going to be a starter, an ace, better than Hampton's wet dreams. Sure, he's a good pitcher but let's say the Mets had been able to resign Hampton -- it'd have been a better deal overall. Dotel has been with the Astros since 2000 as a nice set-up guy and now he's an unproven closer, FOUR YEARS LATER.
For my money, I'd trade Kazmir, take the chance and add Soriano. Not that it matters anyway with Reyes always out hurt, two thirds of the outfield nursing bone spurs in their lower extremities which could sideline for the season at any minute and Piazza remaining a liability at the plate.
I'd package Piazza off to the AL whilst he still has some potential. Mariners? Red Sox? Yankees? He'd make a lovely DH for the right team and maybe the Mets could get another arm to fill in their LOSER ROTATION for this up and coming season.
*****
And finally, more good news: Newcastle boss Sir Bobby Robson has revealed he may remain at St James' Park after his current contract finishes at the end of next season.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
What A Shocker! Reyes Has A Bitchy Hammy!
In what should come as a suprise to no one who has followed his brief career to date, superstar in the making (if he ever strings together a complete month of play without injury) Jose Reyes has hurt his hamstring yet again.
This makes about the fifth time in a year that Reyes has been injured and each of those injuries have been either leg or foot related. Get some new wheels, dude!
On the other hand, the typically slothful and slow to the take idiots running the Mets are only now muttering about specialising Reyes' training to cater to his fragile little legs and feet. Like a bird, he is, this Reyes.
Yet another sign of the season to come -- Cameron and Floyd already whinging about bone spurs, Piazza clueless at first and enemic behind the plate, no pitching staff to speak of, and well, Art Howe remains as manager. "I don't want to lose sleep on this just yet" Howe says. Good for Howe. Don't lose sleep. It's only your fucking job at stake!
*****
In case you were wondering, my final four picks for the NCAA tourney, of three separate sheets:
My first bracket has: Michigan St, Wisconsin, Duke and Syracuse, with Duke winning it all.
Bracket two has: Kentucky, Pitt, Duke and UConn with Kentucky winning it all.
My Absurdist Bracket three has: Gonzaga, St Joes, Mississippi St and UConn with Miss St. winning it all.
In what should come as a suprise to no one who has followed his brief career to date, superstar in the making (if he ever strings together a complete month of play without injury) Jose Reyes has hurt his hamstring yet again.
This makes about the fifth time in a year that Reyes has been injured and each of those injuries have been either leg or foot related. Get some new wheels, dude!
On the other hand, the typically slothful and slow to the take idiots running the Mets are only now muttering about specialising Reyes' training to cater to his fragile little legs and feet. Like a bird, he is, this Reyes.
Yet another sign of the season to come -- Cameron and Floyd already whinging about bone spurs, Piazza clueless at first and enemic behind the plate, no pitching staff to speak of, and well, Art Howe remains as manager. "I don't want to lose sleep on this just yet" Howe says. Good for Howe. Don't lose sleep. It's only your fucking job at stake!
*****
In case you were wondering, my final four picks for the NCAA tourney, of three separate sheets:
My first bracket has: Michigan St, Wisconsin, Duke and Syracuse, with Duke winning it all.
Bracket two has: Kentucky, Pitt, Duke and UConn with Kentucky winning it all.
My Absurdist Bracket three has: Gonzaga, St Joes, Mississippi St and UConn with Miss St. winning it all.
Sunday, March 14, 2004
Met Mutterings
"If he was anybody else, like Port St. Lucie people, they just talk out the mouth and they go."
Eric Vidal, 20, pizza deliverer, disrespected and pummeled by Met players.
If you search the Keep Port St. Lucie Beautiful Guiding Principles outline you will be disappointed to find how little talking out the mouth and going is mentioned. However, if you were to momentarily believe the stories of parking lot urination and pissaboy delivery beatings, you might, as Port St. Lucie detective in charge of the investigation, Mike Beath, did, find the pissaboy's story "vague and somewhat improbable." Don King ridiculous, I might have added. But good enough to find himself awarded the Sports Amnesia's Idiot of the Week.
"If he was anybody else, like Port St. Lucie people, they just talk out the mouth and they go."
Eric Vidal, 20, pizza deliverer, disrespected and pummeled by Met players.
If you search the Keep Port St. Lucie Beautiful Guiding Principles outline you will be disappointed to find how little talking out the mouth and going is mentioned. However, if you were to momentarily believe the stories of parking lot urination and pissaboy delivery beatings, you might, as Port St. Lucie detective in charge of the investigation, Mike Beath, did, find the pissaboy's story "vague and somewhat improbable." Don King ridiculous, I might have added. But good enough to find himself awarded the Sports Amnesia's Idiot of the Week.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
Johnny Damon and the Doors
Sorry, couldn't help but take notice of Gammons' article containing the photo of Johnny Damon and his new Christ look and compare it with Val Kilmer's version of Jim Morrison or perhaps further still, Jim Morrison taking acting lessons from Oliver Stone.
Doesn't bode well for the Sox.
Sorry, couldn't help but take notice of Gammons' article containing the photo of Johnny Damon and his new Christ look and compare it with Val Kilmer's version of Jim Morrison or perhaps further still, Jim Morrison taking acting lessons from Oliver Stone.
Doesn't bode well for the Sox.
Sunday, February 29, 2004
What's Wrong With the Water in the National League?
"I know up on top you are seeing great sights, but down on the bottom we, too, should have rights!" -- YERTLE THE TURTLE
Just as you know something is amiss in a village or a region of the world when you witness a sudden tide of refugees carrying rope-bound suitcases on their heads, cooking pots and mattresses, crying babies and burlap bags full of shahtoosh as they lead goats on a rope down dirt roads where the air is swollen with fleas and flies and dust, so too do you know that something must be rotten in the state of the National League to have caused an exodus so comprehensive one wonders what superstars will be left to turn out the lights.
"I know up on top you are seeing great sights, but down on the bottom we, too, should have rights!" -- YERTLE THE TURTLE
Just as you know something is amiss in a village or a region of the world when you witness a sudden tide of refugees carrying rope-bound suitcases on their heads, cooking pots and mattresses, crying babies and burlap bags full of shahtoosh as they lead goats on a rope down dirt roads where the air is swollen with fleas and flies and dust, so too do you know that something must be rotten in the state of the National League to have caused an exodus so comprehensive one wonders what superstars will be left to turn out the lights.
Sunday, February 22, 2004
In a note that should hearten the Red Sox Nation and prove yet again, pissing millions into the wind on a big name squad, Arsenal seal Ranieri's fate as Chelsea give up the fight
"Continuity, good leadership and the presence of so much experience permits easier assimilation of newcomers such as Kolo Toure and Gilberto and this season's implants, Clichy and Jens Lehmann. By comparison, six of Chelsea's starting line-up against Arsenal joined this season. Some have not developed a deep bond with the club. They have not shared in past pleasures and pains, the fire that forges individuals into a unit. Arsenal's pulse-racing season is rooted in the heartache of falling in last season's championship chase."
The bloke at Mariner Musings has unleashed another haiku:
Haiku #4: Ichiro!
Anticipating
Bat spinning like a windmill
Electricity
And in case you missed it, let's add All-baseballdotcom to the roll.
And in case you missed it, let's add Yanksfan vs Soxfan to the roll.
In yet another sign that this year is not the Year of the Mets, supporters and reporters are now officially reduced to spinning the ole but we've got great prospects! warble.
Tja. It's the 1986-2006 plan. Way to go.
*****
Other Sports
*****
I can't help but be fascinated with the progressively younger crops of NBA ?berteen dreams. Now it's the 14 year old O. J. Mayo garnering the almost prenatal adulation and attention. He's even been billed as the next LeBron -- the next LeBron? What's the shelf life of a pro hoops phenom these days, 20 minutes?
*****
Found this article on a To-know list in the Sporting News from last April which devotes itself to the inner psychological QB:
"It's well-documented how the man called the "brain doctor" advised the Chargers against selecting Ryan Leaf based merely upon what he'd observed of Leaf's brain wiring.
Jonathan Niednagel, head of the Brain Types Institute in Nottinghill, Mo., operates with an eight-letter alphabet. When he looks at a person, he sees four letters--or one of 16 combinations called brain types, which are determined by four basic pairs of psychological attributes.
Brain-type categories
(E)xtroverted vs. (I)ntroverted: Draws energy from others or from within.
(S)ensing vs. i(N)tuitive: Believes in only touch, taste, smell, sight and hearing or also in a sixth, guiding sense.
(T)hinking vs. (F)eeling: Bases decisions on either logic or emotion.
(J)udging vs. (P)erceiving: Is work-oriented or Is work-oriented or fun-oriented in approach to life."
Before the 2003 season, eight NFL quarterbacks had 40,000 yards or more in career passing. From those eight, only Dan Fouts and Warren Moon were not ESTP brain types meaning, Extroverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving blokes. You know the type...ESTP brain-types, such as John Elway, Dan Marino, Joe Montana and Peyton Manning. They have in common the ability to run the two-minute drill better than quarterbacks with different brains. That's because ESTP brain-types are known as "opportunists" who "seek fun and excitement" and "enjoy the moment," according to braintypes.com.
I wonder how many of the lads in my local are ESTPs. Probably not many potential Quarterbacks wandering Stratford-Upon-Avon.
"Continuity, good leadership and the presence of so much experience permits easier assimilation of newcomers such as Kolo Toure and Gilberto and this season's implants, Clichy and Jens Lehmann. By comparison, six of Chelsea's starting line-up against Arsenal joined this season. Some have not developed a deep bond with the club. They have not shared in past pleasures and pains, the fire that forges individuals into a unit. Arsenal's pulse-racing season is rooted in the heartache of falling in last season's championship chase."
The bloke at Mariner Musings has unleashed another haiku:
Haiku #4: Ichiro!
Anticipating
Bat spinning like a windmill
Electricity
And in case you missed it, let's add All-baseballdotcom to the roll.
And in case you missed it, let's add Yanksfan vs Soxfan to the roll.
In yet another sign that this year is not the Year of the Mets, supporters and reporters are now officially reduced to spinning the ole but we've got great prospects! warble.
Tja. It's the 1986-2006 plan. Way to go.
*****
Other Sports
*****
I can't help but be fascinated with the progressively younger crops of NBA ?berteen dreams. Now it's the 14 year old O. J. Mayo garnering the almost prenatal adulation and attention. He's even been billed as the next LeBron -- the next LeBron? What's the shelf life of a pro hoops phenom these days, 20 minutes?
*****
Found this article on a To-know list in the Sporting News from last April which devotes itself to the inner psychological QB:
"It's well-documented how the man called the "brain doctor" advised the Chargers against selecting Ryan Leaf based merely upon what he'd observed of Leaf's brain wiring.
Jonathan Niednagel, head of the Brain Types Institute in Nottinghill, Mo., operates with an eight-letter alphabet. When he looks at a person, he sees four letters--or one of 16 combinations called brain types, which are determined by four basic pairs of psychological attributes.
Brain-type categories
(E)xtroverted vs. (I)ntroverted: Draws energy from others or from within.
(S)ensing vs. i(N)tuitive: Believes in only touch, taste, smell, sight and hearing or also in a sixth, guiding sense.
(T)hinking vs. (F)eeling: Bases decisions on either logic or emotion.
(J)udging vs. (P)erceiving: Is work-oriented or Is work-oriented or fun-oriented in approach to life."
Before the 2003 season, eight NFL quarterbacks had 40,000 yards or more in career passing. From those eight, only Dan Fouts and Warren Moon were not ESTP brain types meaning, Extroverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving blokes. You know the type...ESTP brain-types, such as John Elway, Dan Marino, Joe Montana and Peyton Manning. They have in common the ability to run the two-minute drill better than quarterbacks with different brains. That's because ESTP brain-types are known as "opportunists" who "seek fun and excitement" and "enjoy the moment," according to braintypes.com.
I wonder how many of the lads in my local are ESTPs. Probably not many potential Quarterbacks wandering Stratford-Upon-Avon.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
A-God
"I could prove God statistically." -- George Gallup
In the fever of statistics, the sweaty palms of junkies trying to prove their points, it should be considered that the Yankees coup of A-Rod is much bigger than mere statistics themselves. The arrival of A-Rod is an arrival in NYC that hasn't been seen since perhaps since the fixed draft that saw the Knicks collect Patrick Ewing out of Georgetown. It isn't the sterile calculations of combinations performed by people who love to take the heart from sports and slap a freshly printed dollar bill across it. It is about the passion discovered in sudden sports surprises that seize a city like an asthma attack and prove once again that is the beauty of speculation that allows us to feel happy as sportsfans, even when our team loses.
Monday, February 16, 2004
Fear Governs Red Sox Nation
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks". - Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene II.
The Red Sox Nation, fresh off their surrogate success and the sublime earthquakes of ecstacy victory in Patriot Land, having suffered a sharp blow to the solar plexus, now try to regroup with fantasy tales of why the Yankees getting A-Rod after they themselves failed to do so, isn't the kick to the nuts their mascochistic psyches haven't been waiting for all off season ever since Pettitte and Clemens shook off their pinstripes for their homeland of Texas.
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks". - Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene II.
The Red Sox Nation, fresh off their surrogate success and the sublime earthquakes of ecstacy victory in Patriot Land, having suffered a sharp blow to the solar plexus, now try to regroup with fantasy tales of why the Yankees getting A-Rod after they themselves failed to do so, isn't the kick to the nuts their mascochistic psyches haven't been waiting for all off season ever since Pettitte and Clemens shook off their pinstripes for their homeland of Texas.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Oh please may I hear another story about how dour and uncolourful Bill Belichick is? Oh please may I hear that story again about John Fox that tells of what a transformation he's overseen at Carolina?
Oh please can read about how there aren't any superstars on Carolina or how this time New England has to be the favourite instead of the underdog?
Oh please can I read another article about why the BCS is a disaster and please can that article have all the cliches of how to fix it?
Oh please can someone else tell me why Pete Rose is the antichrist and doesn't to deserve to be in the Hall of Fame?
Oh please will someone else wax poetic on the CFL?
Oh please can you tell me why having Cameron and Reyes and Kaz in the middle of the defense will make a difference when you still have three hop Piazza pantomiming throwing out runners at second base?
Oh please tell me why Bud Selig can't be the Archduke Ferdinand of Major League Baseball?
Oh please will someone demonstrate to me how John Gruden can be the Holy Grail one season and not even in the postseason the next?
Oh please can you give the NY Knicks what they want? Willis Reed limping, saving the day, over and over again?
Oh please can you tell me the Yankees fans won't revel in that moment of realisation when the most overrated pitcher on the planet called Pettitte pitches for Houston and gets bombed over and over until his back fails or his shoulder hurts and then Roger Clemens comes running and pulls a groin or hurts himself like some other 45 year old man might in similar circumstances?
Oh please can you erase the WNBA?
Oh please can you give Mike Schmidt his due?
Oh please can you make me watch another thirty seconds of ESPN because I might have missed the subtle hip hop nuances and meanings?
Oh please can I watch another 12 consecutive hours of Super Bowl pregame hype = please times a trillion?
Oh please can my life revolve around billion dollar commercials that only famous people or computer graphics can act in?
Oh please can I see the Patriots falling behind early? Oh please can I see Carolina because I see all the other teams every year, like, I dunno Tampa, Baltimore, St Louis, all those teams that had shite quarterbacks and no one said stood a chance?
Oh please can I hear another hurrah for Tom Brady?
Oh please can I see another interception?
Oh please can I be in Las Vegas?
Oh please can I be a seven point underdog too if I study hard and go to school?
Oh please.
Carolina 20 NE 16
Oh please can read about how there aren't any superstars on Carolina or how this time New England has to be the favourite instead of the underdog?
Oh please can I read another article about why the BCS is a disaster and please can that article have all the cliches of how to fix it?
Oh please can someone else tell me why Pete Rose is the antichrist and doesn't to deserve to be in the Hall of Fame?
Oh please will someone else wax poetic on the CFL?
Oh please can you tell me why having Cameron and Reyes and Kaz in the middle of the defense will make a difference when you still have three hop Piazza pantomiming throwing out runners at second base?
Oh please tell me why Bud Selig can't be the Archduke Ferdinand of Major League Baseball?
Oh please will someone demonstrate to me how John Gruden can be the Holy Grail one season and not even in the postseason the next?
Oh please can you give the NY Knicks what they want? Willis Reed limping, saving the day, over and over again?
Oh please can you tell me the Yankees fans won't revel in that moment of realisation when the most overrated pitcher on the planet called Pettitte pitches for Houston and gets bombed over and over until his back fails or his shoulder hurts and then Roger Clemens comes running and pulls a groin or hurts himself like some other 45 year old man might in similar circumstances?
Oh please can you erase the WNBA?
Oh please can you give Mike Schmidt his due?
Oh please can you make me watch another thirty seconds of ESPN because I might have missed the subtle hip hop nuances and meanings?
Oh please can I watch another 12 consecutive hours of Super Bowl pregame hype = please times a trillion?
Oh please can my life revolve around billion dollar commercials that only famous people or computer graphics can act in?
Oh please can I see the Patriots falling behind early? Oh please can I see Carolina because I see all the other teams every year, like, I dunno Tampa, Baltimore, St Louis, all those teams that had shite quarterbacks and no one said stood a chance?
Oh please can I hear another hurrah for Tom Brady?
Oh please can I see another interception?
Oh please can I be in Las Vegas?
Oh please can I be a seven point underdog too if I study hard and go to school?
Oh please.
Carolina 20 NE 16
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Let's Bring David against Goliath to Baseball
"Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."--George Bernard Shaw
The FA Cup brought a bit of romance to football yesterday. It was a glaring contrast in size, pay and talent when the mighty millionaires of Chelsea, who ranked 104 places above the semiprofessional Scarborough, traveled this weekend to that Northeast seaside resort town to hold an important fourth round FA Cup match. The kind of stunning mismatch that invites giant-killing and mythological heroics that live forever in the minds of fans everywhere.
"Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability."--George Bernard Shaw
The FA Cup brought a bit of romance to football yesterday. It was a glaring contrast in size, pay and talent when the mighty millionaires of Chelsea, who ranked 104 places above the semiprofessional Scarborough, traveled this weekend to that Northeast seaside resort town to hold an important fourth round FA Cup match. The kind of stunning mismatch that invites giant-killing and mythological heroics that live forever in the minds of fans everywhere.
Sunday, January 18, 2004
The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials. --Chinese Proverb
I can't decide which is more absurd: that whining Yankee fans would accuse Roger Clemens of nothing short of treason and being a turncoat two-timer after he backed off his decision to retire and decided to sign with the Houston Astros instead, or the ridiculous attempt by Clemens to smooth ruffled Yankee fan feathers by confessing that "I still consider myself a Yankee."
I can't decide which is more absurd: that whining Yankee fans would accuse Roger Clemens of nothing short of treason and being a turncoat two-timer after he backed off his decision to retire and decided to sign with the Houston Astros instead, or the ridiculous attempt by Clemens to smooth ruffled Yankee fan feathers by confessing that "I still consider myself a Yankee."
