FINAL: Germany v Spain:

Well, it's all over in less than 24 hours and the final, I can't decide is either the least appealing of all options or bound to be a good final in any event regardless of the fact I can't stand either team.

Germany did it by lucking out against the Turks in their semifinal, out-Turkeying Turkey by scoring a last-minute goal of their own just moments after Turkey had a late score, yet again to come back and tie the match. For me, Turkey are the team of the tournament for their dramatic finishes, even if they didn't make it as far as the final. They made it further than anyone envisioned.

Spain did it by derailing the Russian over-hype train that everyone was knocking each other over trying to climb aboard. Let's face it, it's difficult to recall a more overhyped player than Arshavin, who didn't play in the first two games, allegedly dazzled for two more and then fizzled out on the big stage like a wet firecracker. I was rooting for Russia since they aren't Spain, who I can't stand anyway with their nancy boy strikers, rubbish backline and sometimes middling midfielders. But Russia didn't show up for the big match, shot their wad against the Dutch and that was that. PLUS, you had to figure after the first three underdogs advanced to the semifinal it only made sense that Spain, even though they were favoured, were the real underdog against the Russians solely for their storied history of choking in precisely these sorts of situations, and would therefore go through.

So it's the North against the South in the final and I don't really care which side wins.

*****

Although the final is still to be played I'm ready with my all-tournament team which is subject to change should someone unexpected score a hat-trick.

Keeper: Iker Casillas will be in the final but so is that glowering douchebag, Lehmann, so being there doesn't mean much. Casillas' high point was probably stopping the penalties against the Italians that sent them forward. The man who didn't however, Gianluigi Buffon, had a more stunning tournament from the three goal debacle against the Dutch (one of which was wrong and two more of which were virtually unstoppable), to the penalty he stopped against Mutu which kept Italy from immediate elimination, to one spectacular save against another when the Italy back line was one of the worst they've fielded in a decade. Buffon more than anyone, kept his team in the running and deserves to be the starting keeper.

Right Back: Hamit Altintop, Turkey.- the man of the match against both the Czechs and Croatia, Altintop was solid throughout. Other possible choices, Vedran Ćorluka, Croatia - or Sergio Ramos for Spain. Ćorluka in particular, a bright young spot with great forward motion who will likely end up as the team's starting centre back in due course.

centre back: Hands down, Carles Puyol - for once his team hasn't crashed out early and Puyol, one of the best defenders in the world, consistent throughout bar the early exit against Sweden with the bum knee. He helped shut the Russians down with a brilliant performance and might well be one of the keys if they are to defeat Germany tonight.

Left back: Very close between Yuri Zhirkov whose every game sounded like jerk off jerk off jerk off but was one of Russia's better players despite being held scoreless, and my favourite, Giovanni van Bronckhorst whose clearance sent the Dutch forward for their 2nd goal against Italy and set the Dutch scoring machine in motion, the king of the fastbreak for the Dutch. There will be those whingeing for Philipp Lahm, especially after his game-winner against the Turks but less face it, his defence was quite often rubbish, including the opening half against Turkey and he relied too often on cheap fouls to compensate for a lack of skill.

Defensive Midfielder: Konstatin Zyryanov comes to mind although he was more forward than defending, he scored the winner against Greece and was solid against the Swedes to get the Russians back on track after that hideous opening (and closing) match against Spain. The winner though, is Marcos Senna for Spain who did a brilliant job helping Pujols shut down the Russians in the semi-final. Orlando Engelaar may have found himself in this tournament performing quite competently, gets a vote for honourable mention.

Right midfield: Bastian Schweinsteiger was, along with Wayne Rooney, one of the bright young stars of Euro2004. Rooney was busy marrying his ChavCow girlfriend in a crass display of imperial money wasting and Schweinsteiger was busy kicking ass, getting a red card against Croatia and scoring against the Portugese and Turkey. Andrés Iniesta had a brilliant semi-final against the Russians but too little too late. Darijo Srna was one of the strongest on a strong right sided attack for Croatia.

Centre midfield - Sorry, gotta go with the Germans here again in the form of Michael Ballack. Very true he was nearly invisible against Croatia but that sizzling goal against Austria was one of the strongest of the tournament and his engine in the middle when he was running well, was driving the Germans forward. However, he might miss the final which would knock him out of the running, as far as I'm concerned. There's a real glut here though. A vote could be made for Cesc Fàbregas who was absolutely brilliant in the matches he played in, even coming off the bench and he clearly outplayed Arshavin who might have been given the nod if he wasn't so overhyped and had played better in the semi-final. Likewise Luka Modric, the new Tottenham Spur who will likely be crushed in the Premiership ultimately but has quite a motor on him and watching his pace is worthwhile. And Hakan Yakin certainly merits a vote considering he was a scoring machine for a team with no offence. My favourite would be Wesley Sneijder for the Dutch, who was great whilst the Dutch were hot but they plunged out so suddenly and quietly that you almost forgot about those first two matches against Italy and France wherein he was simply brilliant and had two memorable goals. Yes, there is your winner.

Left midfield: You might be tempted by Lukas Podolski as the easy choice with three goals but he disappeared after the first two games and unless he scores a hattrick in the final, he's not my guy. Arjen Robben would have been a logical choice, that brilliant goal against France but as he was with Chelsea and in Spain this season, he's a brittle little fucker who is hurt more than healthy and that in the end, spells his demise. David Silva has had flashes, and normally Ronaldo would fit in here automatically but he had a rather rubbish tournament combined with a disappointing finish so eff him, he's won enough stuff this season with Man U. Instead I'm picking Roger Guerreiro, the anti-Pole when you consider that nation's skinhead racist tendancies it must be difficult for a Brasilian to survive in Poland even if he is a decent footballer. Impressed against both Germany and Austria.

Forwards: : One thing for certain, it isn't going to be Toni who had the worst tournament for a forward and most certainly the most missed shots of anyone on earth. Good thing Mario Gomez was there to keep him company in ignominy. I would have voted for Ivica Olić but for those crossbars against Turkey. Nope, the guy I'd want most up front would be Semih Sentürk and I would pair him with David Villa more because of that late, clutch winner against Sweden than his hattrick against the Russians. If I were desperate, I'd play Hakan Yakin up instead of in midfield and there you go, quite a side.

Manager: No doubt about it: GUUS

As for tonight's final, traditional winners against traditional losers. Simply because I think Lehmann is a big, noisy douchebag and a rubbish keeper to boot, I'm going to go with Spain. Class over Schmutz. Spain 3 Germany 2. And it will be a good match.