Saturday, February 28, 2009

A bit over sports overdose over the course of the last 24 hours, if that's possible.

First was a rare Friday night Six Nations match and it saw France gain a euphoric victory over Wales, 21-16 which against heavily favoured Wales, was almost impossible to believe. Not that France aren't a good side but after the pasting Ireland gave them, even at home few expected them to defeat Wales, who were slotted to win this tournament by most.

Then Saturday was Chelsea's thrilling stoppage-time winner over an unexpectedly tough Wigan in the Premiership followed quickly by a very tight, if somewhat anti-climatic and perhaps even boring Ireland v England Six Nations match that saw the Irish barely keep England down, 14-13 and remain undefeated.

Thereafter, some Chinese television ESPN feed of the Yankees-Twins Spring Training match which was entertaining if solely for the fact that although the original feed was off the Yes network, we got to listen to incomprehensible Chinese broadcasters instead of having to bear that unbearable bore, Michael Kay. I hate the Yankees and Michael Kay but getting a respite from at least one of them whilst getting a little MLB fix in this early on was a lucky break. Still gotta consider over the course of the season and once the Mets start playing if it might not be worth investing in a little MLB radio to go along with the Chinese feed just so I can understand the commentary. The quality of the broadcast though is remarkable considering its an internet feed.


But that's just what's going on at the minute - it's been quite a week already what with the Champions League matches that saw Man U earn a 0-0 draw against Jose Mourinho and Inter in Milan, Liverpool win in Madrid and Arsenal beat Roma at home.

Personally, I don't give a monkey's about Arsenal and Liverpool but the Man U-Inter match was the most anticipated football match of the season for me. Just to see anyone beat effin Man U for a change would be brilliant considering no one in the Premiership seems capable. The nil-nil draw is no disadvantage to Man U who will likely wrap it up at home. Man U dominated the first half and really should have scored a couple of times (which would have sealed the home and away advantage early on) but they were held scoreless and Inter readjusted in the 2nd half to make the match a little more interesting.

That's it for the real excitement for another week.

Meanwhile, NFL free agency kicked off with a bang and the Jets inked, as hoped, Bart Scott from the Ravens nearly straight away to immediately boost the defence. They also traded for Lito Shepherd.

Apparently, there's still a long way to go with re-making the defence but it's a good start.

And there were two other big deals already in the NFL - the Pats trading Cassel to the Chiefs relinquishing their starting QB for surprisingly little. Of course, they already have Brady waiting in the wings so this is good news for the Chiefs.

Lastly, to the surprise of no one, the Redskins massively overpayed for Haynesworth which was pretty much expected.

Monday, February 23, 2009


These week marks some colossal Champions League matches which promise to be some of the best matches all season, in any league.

Tomorrow night opens with one of the biggest as two of the recognised top managers in football face each other when Manchester United,led by Sir Alex Ferguson travel to Milan to face Inter, led by Jose Mourinho. (see a detailed preview here.)

This is MASSIVE football. You could argue, if you wanted to be picky that Man U and Barcelona are playing the best football in Europe and that this would make a better match but frankly, that's more something for the finals. Personally, I've been waiting all season for somebody to do a number on those gawddamned Mancunians and that red-faced drunken Scot - Jose is just the lad to do it although I'm not so incredibly certain his team is. Inter are not as special a football side as their manager is, even if they are a virtual lock to win the Serie A this season.

Irrespective of what happens, not likely, with a match still to be played in Manchester, that the knockout will be decided tomorrow night, or even in the first 90 minutes of the game in Manchester. It's probably too much for Inter to expect an outright victory tomorrow night, even at home so a 0-0 draw would be productive. I watched both this weekend and neither side, with this game no doubt weighing heavily on their minds, looked very brilliant.

Prediction: 1-1 draw.

There's also Arseholenol hosting AC Roma, but let's be honest, unless you support one of them, this is the secondary match. Arsenal 2-1.

On Wednesday night, Real Madrid host Liverpool and no doubt, Liverpool should advance fairly easily in this one. Real 0-1

Lastly, almost as big perhaps as the Inter - Man U match is Juventus travelling to Chelsea. Wow, big match. Juve are looking good at the moment and Chelsea have been in a state of turmoil but Chelsea, with their new manager to the rescue, appear to all be playing as a team again after that mini little civil war that went on earlier in the season. Chelsea should take this one, maybe 2-1. (detailed preview here.)



Gnats pitching going from bad to worse to hopeless.

I find it hard to believe they're releasing Odalis Perez. Ok, maybe he didn't give them much choice, maybe he released himself in essence, by not showing up. 30 starts, 4.34 ERA down the tubes. Look for somebody to pick him up after the World Classic and pay him at least double what he'd have gotten for the Gnats.

Plus, they already let go of their top pitcher last season, Tim Redding, gone to the Mets to seek fame and fortune as the 5th starter. Again, granted Redding is no Cy Young but still, he managed to win 10 games for them somehow which is like winning 15 or 20 games somewhere else. So that's two pitchers, gone and no real answers to replace them with. Think they sucked last season? Wow, just watch them now and if that isn't bad enough, how do you carry on when your own GM is suspected of screwing the team? They might just challenge for the worst team in baseball what with their rubbish starting rotation, their head cases in the outfield, their new Kingmanesque first baseman in Adam Dunn. What's to like? The Mets play them LOTS, that's what.



So it's getting closer to the time now that they've cleared all that cap space, for the Jets and new coach Rex Ryan to start thinking about which Raven linebacker they're intending on plucking from the Ravens bough, Ray Lewis or Bart Scott. Gimme a break. Why would you sign a 34 year old to a big deal? Lewis has been the best in the game for years but he's not going to be for much longer. A year more, tops. The Jets have already played rent-a-fading-star last year with Favre and look where it got them. Forget it. Let the Cowboys over pay him.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Not by any means a preview, but as this is the division the team I support, the intention is to follow the news therein more closely.

GNATS; Troubles Troubles

Today, a brief focus first on the GNATS finds the same headaches and question marks about prospect Elijah Dukes, to whit:

Asked on Wednesday how much of a distraction his off-field issues were this winter, Dukes replied: "All right, I'm done. That's it. You ruined it." He then walked away from the group of reporters interviewing him.

Those kinds of interactions with media members are just one reason some members of the Nationals organization question whether Dukes has grown enough in his year-plus with the club.

The franchise's front office has gone to great lengths to keep Dukes insulated from the public. A member of the public relations staff is required to arrange all interviews with Dukes. (Reporters are free to approach any other player on the roster on their own.)

Bigger than any news about the coming season is the bizarre story about prospect Esmailyn Gonzalez, aka Carlos Alvarez, who is being investigated for "deliberate, premeditated fraud".

"...creating a false identity to secure a $1.4 million signing bonus three years ago.

That player, who has been going by the name Esmailyn Gonzalez and was thought to be 19, has been discovered to be 23-year-old Carlos Daniel Alvarez"

What makes matters even more strange is that you get the impression in reading the article that Gnats team president Stan Kasten even believes Nationals general manager Jim Bowden and special assistant Jose Rijo's names are linked. Just imagine, your own GM, defrauding the team!


On the Phillies, they're kicking it World Champion style and appear simultaneously bemused and annoyed by the ongoing verbal wars with the Mets.

Cole Hamels backed off of his winter choking dog comments about the Mets, either because his swollen head has returned to its normal size or his teammates have told him to shut the fuck up or he's started to get scared about having to start a game at Citi Field.

"I didn't know what I said when it happened," Hamels said. "I really didn't. I have to stick by what I said and it's something where truly I like to do most of my talking out on the field. I'm not the type of guy that needs to look for attention in the offseason."

No, he doesn't need to look for attention, his bimbo wife is like a black hole sucking in all the attention around her.

“We’re in the process of adopting an AIDS orphan from Ethiopia,” she said. “Maybe two. I’m so pumped. I’d adopt six if I could. When I was five years old — I grew up in a very rural town in Missouri, and I had never even seen a black person — they asked us to draw a picture of ourselves in the future, and I drew myself holding hands with a line of tiny black stick figures. I’ve always wanted this.”

this photoshop (or is it?) has it down right. (thanks,Mr Irrelevant)

Mrs Hamels' bimbo-class comments reminded me of the good auld days when we still had Anna Benson to kick around:

"I have toe trouble from my strip-dancing days. But I don’t want any more bungled surgery. I don’t want them to touch me. I did only one cosmetic-surgery thing: I had breast implants. After having three kids, I felt I deserved it. Kris doesn’t want me to have plastic surgery on my face. He says, ‘Don’t let them do any of that crap to you; you’re too pretty."

Whatever happened to Anna Benson anyway?


Now, this doesn't necessarily rate as Phillies or NL East news but a sound golf clap to Frank Fitzpatrick for this article envisioning Babe Ruth having to endure an A-Hole-like press conference

..."For all that stuff, I apologize to the kids out there who dream of growing up to be pot-bellied womanizers with tiny feet. I'd also like to say I'm sorry to my teammates, especially those whose wives I shacked up with, those who sustained injuries in my DUI incidents, and those I urinated on."


Damning words about the Braves chances coming from their own columnists who figures that these measly Braves, who were spurned by two players this off season (but did manage to sign what should have been Mets pitcher Derek Lowe)

But what is the one thing missing in Griffey’s career? A World Series. What is the No. 1 goal of any great player who is at the end of his career and is without a championship? Winning that championship.

The story is not that Griffey didn’t sign with the Braves. The story is that he signed with another team that, sentimentality aside, actually lost 11 more games than the Braves. He didn’t base his decision on a phone call from Willie Mays or a newspaper story that may or may not have angered him. He based it on the fact that there was no overwhelming reason to come here.

This is spring. It’s the time of optimism. But if Griffey really believed that the Braves were as close to competing for a championship as maybe they do - or maybe you do - he would have signed with them.

And indeed, even the one coup is punctuated by the question: Why do you think the Braves had to give Derek Lowe four years and $60 million when the only other known offer was for three years and $36 million?

Well done. A Mets fan couldn't have pointed this out better.


As for the Marlins, well having a little trouble finding much out about them these days. Can't imagine its a lack of interest?

Apparently Josh Johnson is befuddling his teammates already (don't blow out the arm before Spring Training is over, superstah...)

and the comparisons are natural considering both will likely be moved from their leadoff spots (at least temporarily) but how do you rate Jose Reyes against Hanley Ramirez?:

The two are now quite different players because of Ramirez's power. The Marlins' shortstop has hit 79 home runs in the past three seasons, 32 more than Reyes. Despite the 33 home runs Ramirez hit last season, he collected merely 67 RBIs, hardly an extraordinary total even for a leadoff man. Reyes' triples and stolen bases are important. But runs win games and home runs produce runs, and Ramirez scored 12 more runs, a modest slight advantage in a 162-game season, but an advantage nonetheless.

As is defence, matey. Of course, Ramirez doesn't really get the opportunity to turn in two consecutive choking dog performances in September like Reyes did...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Young and Stupid

First the anonymous cousin "suggested" it to him then later the cousin "took "instructions" from A-Rod.

My cousin the Illegal Drug Courier!

Apparently, had A-Rod gone to college, he wouldn't be stupid and he wouldn't have taken steroids.

And listen, no follow up questions, lest you confuse this poor stupid man who is bravely hiding behind his anonymous cousin.

Holy shit, has anyone used the Young and Stupid Defence so often in the history of excuse making?

Here's my question for the press conference: Whilst you are no longer young, how do you know you're not still stupid? You still SEEM pretty stupid.

He knew they "weren't taking tic tacs." Whoop!

Joel Sherman, came up with a good question on maths - 36 times, or 24 times over a three year period - why would you inject inject inject if you didn't know what it was, what you were doing or what effect it was having on you?

Why Young and Stooopid, is the correct answer, bing bang!

Super Goon

Too bad Bud Selig can't say that. All he can say is Don't Blame Me!, I'm just ugly and stupid!

"I laid my bed and now I'm going to have to sit on it, I put it on my pillow, blablabla."

Ok A-rod, we believe you. You're so fucking stupid at the moment it's easy to see that how stupid you probably were when you were young as well.

But is stupid really a defence?

And where's this fucking cousin?

Monday, February 16, 2009

A-Hole Continues To Write His Own Comedy

First came the insincere apology about using drugs to cheat when he'd said categorically all along what a ridiculous idea it was, OF COURSE he doesn't use steroids, he doesn't need them because he was already so fucking good to begin with. But if he DID use steroids, he doesn't remember which ones and can't say with certainty when or how long (as far as he can recall anyway) and better still, because of the enormous public pressure of being paid kazillions of dollars to be an overrated choke artist for a last place team.

I mean, wow. Like steroids are some escapist drug to avoid thinking about life's problems.

Well, as funny as all that was, now comes something funnier, a limp-wristed, fake apology for trying to publically humiliate a female sports reporter because she was doing her job.

It's funny, he calls her meakly on the phone like a little pussy to apologise but when he's got unfounded accusations to make about her, he does that on the big screen with Peter Gammons, who ran through that interview with the verve of Mike Wallace in a Roger Clemens interview.


The Hillbilly Police aren't going to bust Michael Phelps for getting caught doing a bong hit on film. Fucking liberal junkies. What happened to the good auld boys who'd have arrested him, beat the shit out of him and made him sit in a South Carolina outhouse for 15 days without bail before letting him go?

The sheriff said there had not been sufficient evidence to charge him based on the photo from the party, held near the University of South Carolina in November.
He said: "We had a photo and him saying he was sorry for inappropriate behaviour. He never said, 'I smoked marijuana.' We didn't have physical evidence."

Since when did they start following laws instead of their instincts down in South Carolina. Holy Evolution Batman! Is there hope for the South yet?

Nah, just ask the 8 others who weren't famous swimmers how it works.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

A-Roid, A-Fraud, A-Hole: Which Is It?

Ah, yes, cat out of the bag. One of the biggest douchebags in baseball cheats as well. Not that we didn't expect it. Slyly, he admits using steroids but when pressed about when, he hedges his bets and limits it to the pre-Yank-Me years. But he can't say that with any certainty or conviction. Not sure I didn't plunge needles into my arse when I was with the Yankees or not but as far as my pea brain can remember, I didn't. Probably not. But don't hold me to it.

When asked if his usage took place from 2001-2003, Rodriguez said, "That's pretty accurate."

What the fuck does that mean? Is it accurate or not? "Pretty" accurate? Does that mean his usage might have taken place before 2001 or even after 2003? I'm just too fucking stupid to remember? Fat chance. That's just today's lie to cover for today's headline.

In a 2007 60 Minutes interview with Katie Couric, Rodriguez flatly denied ever taking steroids. "For the record, have you ever used steroids, human growth hormone or any other performance-enhancing substance?" Couric asked.

"No," said Rodriguez. "I've never felt overmatched on the baseball field. I've always been a very strong, dominant position. And I felt that if I did my work since I was, you know, a rookie back in Seattle, I didn't have a problem competing at any level. So, no."

So no, I'm not a fucking liar. I just play one on tv. In pinstripes. Prison stripes.

What is like the trillionth reason in history to hate the Yankees?

The other thing to question is what is with Madonna and steroid users? First super Douche Jose Canseco then A-Rod. And maybe that's why her marriage to Guy Ritchie went bust because he wouldn't pray into her little kaballah and inject drugs into his arse cheeks.

Anyway, a little tongue-in-cheek combining that recent Facebook phenomenon and baseball's most recently shamed drug hound, Alex Rodriguez: 25 Random Things About Me. thanks, dumb as a blog


Meanwhile, on London's flash west side, Chelsea have sacked their manager...again.

The sad, sad billionaire...

Now the race is on to see what muppet they tie up next to try and replace, for the third time, The Special One.

They'll never get it right again.


Hard to believe, when you read about the mouse that is A-Rod, that there are athletes out there surviving on the other end of the spectrum. Hard to imagine that Ben Roethlisberger played the Super Bowl with fractured ribs.

"Fractured ribs,'' Roethlisberger said. "Luckily, in the game, I didn't take any big hits to make 'em hurt. But I knew all along there was something wrong. There wouldn't have been anything they could have done about fractured ribs anyway. It was just suck it up and play.''

Or maybe he should have said, did I play with fractured ribs? That's "pretty" accurate. Or maybe it was a hang nail. Or with no functioning internal organs. Where's the steroids, rib-boy?

Do you think A-Hole would play with fractured ribs? Even if he wasn't high out of his mind on steroids?

Monday, February 02, 2009

Was it the Best Super Bowl Ever?

(Top 100 Greatest Ever Super Bowl moments)

1. Beautiful, artistic, athletic catch in the corner of the end zone in the waning moments of the game to cap a come-from-behind after losing a 13 point lead by Santonio Holmes of a Ben Roethlisberger. game-winning pass.

2. The 100 yard interception return at the end of the first half James Harrison, perhaps the most amazing run since Don Beebe came out of nowhere to knock the ball out of Big Goof Leon Lett's hands just as the show boater is crossing the goal. Not just the run, but imagine how deflated the Cardinals must have felt at the have with an added touchdown to have to overcome, just seconds after they'd thought they'd have a touchdown of their own.

3. The Cardinals Comeback; overcoming the biggest deficit in Super Bowl history in the 4th quarter to take a 23-20 lead after being down 20-7 and did so on the arm and legs of Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald, the way you'd figured from the onset it might play out.

4. Steelers coming back to win after blowing a 13 point lead in the 4th quarter. Nothing says more about the team than choking horribly in the 4th quarter, blowing the largest margin ever blown in Super Bowl history and STILL having the wherewithall to launch a game-winning comeback of their own. Amazing.


For all intents and purposes, the game was over when Kurt Warner accepted the Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year trophy before the start of the Super Bowl, like right on the field. Nothing better to concentrate on? Was that REALLY a wise idea? It's a similar curse to being the QB who wins the Heisman Trophy weeks before the NCAA Championship game. Kiss of death.

Also, comparing Mike Tomlin's dire certainty and confidence pre-game to Ken Wisenhunt's seemingly gee shucks just happy to be here sort of response was the first thing that made me think the Steelers would win. Yeah, I know I picked the Cards but I told you - that was that reverse psychology thing at work. Psyched out the Football Gods who, when I pick the team I prefer, always seem to enjoy letting the other side win. Bastids.

Who ran around, eluded tacklers and stuck with it better than Big Ben last night?

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Cardinals 33 Steelers 24


Oh well, I've rooted AGAINST the Cardinals in every playoff game so far this season and wrong each time.

I still am not rooting for the QB Jesus, I don't care what a great story it is. He's had his time, his Super Bowl victory, even if he's had his loss as well.

BUT THE THEORY is if I publically support the Cardinals, they will finally lose.

Let's hope I can be wrong yet again.

You've almost got to expect the Steelers because their coach is so impressive. Defence wins championships and the Steelers have the best defence.

But this, the year of dreaming already - one expects the underdogs to win. Does Obama's magic carry on to the Super Bowl since he's supporting the Steelers openly?

Time will tell. Should be a good game though.