Home Openers In Three Cities
"Begin at the beginning, the King said gravely, and go till you come to the end, then stop." - Lewis Carroll

660 in San Francisco

The SBC Park capacity crowd of 42,548 gave Bonds two standing ovations before the home opener even started. Perhaps in deference to the boos he received whilst playing away and hearing all the sarcasm about steroids tainting his power and grace.

The third standing ovation came in the fifth inning, when Bonds turned on a 3-1 inside fastball from Milwaukee's Matt Kinney and hit a 442-foot home run into McCovey Cove that tied his godfather, Willie Mays, for third on baseball's career home run list. This was the 28th dinger Bonds has homered into the water. It was also Bonds's fourth in five home openers in SF and he finished the day 3 for 3 with four runs batted in and a walk.

Guess those steroids are really kicking in now, eh fellahs?

According to El Lefty Malo, a half-inning after Barry hit the big one, Jon Miller was hyping a "Barry Bonds 660" commemorative hat + T-shirt package for the low, low price of $42.

Better still, Bonds' 3 run banger gave the Giants a 5-4 lead. Like, why were they pitching to him with two outs, two men on and a stiff like Pierzynski on deck? "Maybe I'm just too stupid to walk him every time," Brewers manager Ned Yost said. Yes, maybe so. Too stupid. Good credentials for being the Brewers manager.

Shea Stadium

With a lineup that resembled the B squad more than the starters, Cliff Floyd on the disabled list, Mike Piazza on the mend and Jos? Reyes rehabilitating in Port St. Lucie, Fla., the Mets thrashed the hated Atlanta Braves EVEN with Shane Spencer and Todd Zeile hitting third and fourth in the batting order. In doing so, the Mets took over sole ownership of second place. Heady days indeed.

A magnetic resonance imaging test on Floyd's right quadriceps revealed a strain, but the injury was not as serious as initially feared. Piazza said he should be able to return from his strained right elbow in a couple of days, and Karim Garcia said he hoped to play tomorrow despite a fractured left ring finger.

Matsui, in his Shea debut, reached base three times, drove in two runs with a double, and raised his on-base percentage to .529. Sushi concession at Shea? Cameron, in his Shea debut, made one stunning catch running straight toward the fence and also knocked in two runs with two hits. Not bad.

Perhaps best of all, they had seven runs in two and two-thirds innings against Met no-wanna be and habitual liar, Mike Hampton. Not so happy now, are yea, Mr Hampton? "Hamp-ton, Hamp-ton," "fans taunted the loser and liar, who allegedly left here for the fine Colorado schools, not the $121-million contract that the Rockies quickly regretted bestowing upon him."

Wrigley Field

A decidedly unhappier story opened Wrigley's 2004 season with Greg Maddux taking the mound for the Cubs at Wrigley for the first time in 12 years, Maddux gave up six runs, five of them earned, on eight hits with five walks in 3 2/3 innings. His record dropped to 0-2, and his ERA rose to 7.45. The Cubs lost by a 13-2 margin to the lowly Pirates of Pittsburgh. Seven games into a new season, Kerry Wood is the only Cubs starting pitcher who has won a game and one wonders how long before Cubs fans overreact to the slow start. They are now two games behind the "first place" Cincinnati Reds!

Outside the park, sidewalk vendors peddled cute "Curse Breaker" stuffed billy goats for $10. The Miller beer billboard in the right-field corner had a new motto in place: "Curse Quenching."

It didn't take long for Cubs fans to see the bigger picture. The sellout crowd of 40,483 began booing when Maddux continued to struggle in the third inning after giving up five runs in the second.

Of course, isn't this the modus operandus of Maddux early in the season? Over the past three seasons (2001-2003) he has a 4.06 ERA and a less-than-sterling 7-7 record.

Chances are, when it comes to August and September, Cubbies will be able to rely on Maddux as a cherished third starter.