"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please." Mark Twain

Oh, no! Not another pietistic excoriation on the evils of selling baseball bases -- as well as home plate, the pitching rubber and the on-deck circles -- as advertising space for a movie sequel! We couldn't stomach that! So in lieu of unbridled canting on baseball's latest controversy, let's ease into an overall ambience of aimless drifting...

Piniella Watch

Yes, we ruefully acknowledge, wishful thinking. But, as reported by the NYT, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays were going to be a better team this season, they, and particularly their manager, Lou Piniella, said. By winning five of their first nine games, the Devil Rays looked as if they would be better. But then the team that has not won 70 games in any of its six seasons lost 15 of its next 19 games, prompting the suspicion that they were the same old inept Devil Rays.

With a 9-19 record before last night's game, the Devil Rays were playing at a pace that would gain them 52 victories for the season. The lowest victory total of their shabby existence is 55, achieved in 2002.

Dare we hope? Devil Rays fire Piniella at season's end, Mets Fire Art Howe Already at season's end and next thing we know, Looooooou is managing the Mets.

Calling All Moms

This week we learned that The Hamstring King is lonely and full of tears down in Florida.

"He didn't know anything," Jose Reyes said about a conversation with his father. "I told him I didn't feel good. I hurt it a little. I started to cry. He couldn't talk to me. He put my mom on."

Put somebody on, for crissakes. All of this reminds me of how the Mets repeatedly turned down Reyes for Soriano offers. Last night Soriano went 6 for 6. A few years ago, Soriano was everybody's favourite future greatest and now the Mets' future greatest is crying on the telephone. He hasn't had an at-bat all season. Wonder who might be more useful on the Mets roster right now.

Let's say you agree that even a hammy-less Reyes is too steep a price to pay for Soriano. The Rangers were willing to settle for some combination that included Aaron Heilman and/or Scott Kazmir. Oh no, whineth'd the Mets Idiot Collective. Heilman and Kazmir are untouchable.

Indeed. Heilman is currently rotting like a two week old chunk of beef mince left out in the sun. He's started six games for the AAA Norfolk Tides and is 0-2 with a 4.01 ERA. That's AAA, folks. He's already 25 years old so the wonderous speculation of his future potential once he's cooled down his youthful daliances with mediocrity is neigh on being moot. This is entirely too much in line with his career 6.75 ERA in the MLB. If he's untouchable, it's because no one wants to get near him for fear his mediocrity might be contagious.

And all the way down in the hole of Single A St. Lucie ball, Scott Kazmir just had one of his worst outings of the season, allowing four earned runs in just four innings of work. Although Kazmir did post seven strikeouts in the contest, he also gave up a home run and walked three batters. Looks like there's still alot of work to be done. Maybe he can be a starting ace in oh, let's say 2010.

And if that isn't enough to turn your stomach, how about the fact that the Mets Idiot Collective waived Marco Scutero last October, presumably because they were so loaded with superstahs, they didn't need a guy who hit .291 and can play second base and shortstop with equal verve (one error in 154 chances for the A's this season). No, the Mets wouldn't need a player like that when Reyes is always injured and the Kaz Man is in a constant battle to lead the team in strikeouts. In fact, Matsui is hitting .130 (6-for-46) over his last nine games. He's sore and tired but he hasn't called home in tears yet. But there was never any need for Marco Scutero. Goodness no. It might interfere with the glorious plans of settling for second-to-last-place-behind-the-Expos in the NL East this season.

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Blog Watch

Execellent analysis by Waiting for Boof on the atypical career path of the top ten active leaders in saves. Waiting for Boof points out that these leading relievers "are a jumbled mess of failed starters, converted position players, and blue-chip starting pitching prospects who were moved to the bullpen to fill an immediate need."

For those who were curious, there is a brief review of street tacos over at Petco Padres...What a strange concept, street tacos. The mere term sparked visions of gangs of homeless tacos wandering the dangerous streets of San Diego without a bed to sleep in, committing petty crimes, break-ins, food stamp fraud. It's a dangerous world and if we aren't careful, PETT (People for the Ethical Treatment of Tacos) will be banging on neighborhood doors demanding donations to save the street taco from extinction.

Moreover, the consistently commendable Mariner Musings has yet another brilliant piece, this time on A Hero And His Villain:

"...And when faced with that archnemesis of nemeses—the dastardly villains in those cold storm-trooper pinstripes (were this a turn-of-the-century silent film, they’d sneer with handle-bar mustaches)—who should step forth into the fray any slay the leviathan but one Edgar Martinez? Whether that day is October 8, 1995 or May 7, 2004, it is Edgar that has led the Mariners to victory over the fierce Yankees. A certain Alex Rodriguez had his opportunity to play Robin to Edgar’s Batman, but, well, every hero story needs it’s Judas Iscariot."

Bong Hits

If you're like me, you're wondering what Jung Bong has been getting up to these days since he was so callously traded by the Braves along with Bubba "Full" Nelson to the Reds for Chris Reitsma and then dumped down to the Louisville Bats. To date, Bong has started 5 games for the Bats, completed none of them but managed to pinch out 3 victories against 2 losses during a 4.30 ERA. In 29.1 innings, he gave up 30 hits but also struck out 27 whilst walking only 6 batters.

Of course, if you're looking for call-ups, the Bong might not get sparked up to the mothership in Cincinnati before Bats teammate Matt Belisle but with the Reds fumbling around with the 3rd worst (5.08) team ERA in the National League these days and a team WHIP of 1.481, are they sure there isn't room in the now-starting-for-the-Cincinnati Reds-Todd Van Poppel nightmare, for at least one of these guys to move up?

Meanwhile, Reitsma has appeared in 15 games for the Braves and has won a game, lost a game, held six leads and has blown a save whilst saving none.

Oh yeah, speaking of Bong Hits, the truth is, Bong doesn't Hit. In seven career at bats in MLB, he has yet to get his first Major League hit. Cough it up, baby.

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Former Indian Sluggers Updates

Manny Ramirez: in 29 games, Manny has hit .370 with 7 homers and 20 RBIs. He's got a .441 OBP and is slugging at a rate of .622. He's also struck out more times (22) than he's walked (16).

Jim Thome: in 25 games for the lowly Phillies, Thome has hit .327 with 10 homers and 16 RBIs. He's got a .424 OBP and is slugging at a rate of .703. He's also struck out more times (30) than he's walked (16).

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Not for the Faint of Heart

Although I am not normally in the habit of sharing my spam with readers, this one happened to catch my eye because I thought it'd be nice to see it on a stadium billboard somewhere in America, or perhaps, even better, to hear Vin Scully read it aloud as a between-innings sponsor's ad during a Dodgers broadcast:

Squirting Beavers, Intense Female Ejaculation Clips

"Experience the 3 foot female orgasm
These climaxes are out of control
Gushing-Vaginas Banned in 29 states!"

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The ever-popular Maroth versus Mothra update received a jolt last night when Mike Maroth gave up 8 earned runs, threw 2 wild pitches, 2 gopher balls and surrendered 7 hits, walked six whilst striking out none in a mere 4 innings pitched and didn't even earn the loss during last night's 16-15 debacle. Yeah, he lost 21 games last season but if he doesn't lose a game like that, he's got my nomination for the Anti Cy Young Award.