"All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. --George Orwell, from Animal Farm

Well, not everybody has the luxury of receiving the deadly dearth of run support that Randy Johnson's mates over in Arizona have given him this season, but even for them, you've got to admit, allowing a potential Cy Young candidate to go 12-13 despite leading the NL in strikeouts (249), ERA (2.80), Batting Average Against (opposing batters are hitting .192 against him) and WHIP (.089), is a wee bit absurd.

Jason Schmidt, on the other hand, arguably having one of the better seasons in the NL as a starting pitcher this year, allows more runs and hits per game, has walked more batters in fewer innings, has struck out fewer batters, has had fewer quality starts and has thrown fewer complete games yet HE has a 15-6 record this season.

This season might be the season to toss the won-loss record out the window when considering the NL Cy Young Award.

*****

A pair of National League pitchers who have no sights set on Cy this season, Mark Prior and Kerry Wood, seem likely to take the mound in a doubleheader scheduled against the Marlins this Friday with the postseason likely at stake. Last season, if you recall, Prior and Wood pitched Games 6 and 7 of the NLCS against the Marlins, both of which the Cubs ultimately lost, knocking them out of a chance for the World Series.

*****

Isn't it fun to note that Kevin Brown isn't the only jackass the Yankees have ever had in their starting rotation who has broken a hand punching a wall in frustrated stupidity? Yes, that's right, way back in 1982, Doyle Alexander, angry at having surrendered Gaylord Perry's 300th victory, broke his hand punching the wall. Of course, Alexander's injury was even more fortunate than Kevin Brown's because Alexander finished the season limping to a 1-7 record with a 6.08 ERA.

Bah. To think he was later traded, in 1987, to the Detroit Tigers for none other than John Smoltz.

*****

Way back on July 9, 2004, it was being reported that the Mets had signed this Cuban Clemens of a pitcher, a defector by the name of Alay Soler. With the dearth of starting pitching due to injury and idiotic trades of prospects, it didn't take the crack team at Sports Amnesia to begin to wonder just where in the hell Señor Soler had gotten to. Well, as it turns out, the Mets, after all that hoopla, only just signed him after having been working him out at the Mets' complex in the Dominican Republic while paperwork was completed on his contract. He doesn't even have his bloody VISA yet! When/If he gets his visa, he will travel to the United States and join the Mets' instructional league Sept. 19 in Port St. Lucie, Fla. So with any luck, assuming after the last hurricane that Port St. Lucie still exists and there are no visa problems and that Soler hasn't been lying about his age and we find out he's actually 54, not 24, as he alleges, Soler should be in the Mets starting rotation by 2008 or so, assuming also that the Mets Idiot Collective doesn't trade him for someone with a torn rotator cuff and a career losing record beforehand.

Speaking of the Mets, here's an amusing thought:


Mets 60-76 .441 ----
Expos 57-79 .419 3

Hey Artie, sounds like the cellar is calling you again!

Sounding more and more like a future Met every day, Alfonso Soriano, oft-rumoured earlier this season to go to the Mets in a trade involving the now former Met untouchable Scott Kazmir and the imminently injured Human Hammy Jose Reyes, has reportedly fallen out of favour with managing guru Buck Showalter for a less-than-convincing attitude about his season. He has 5 homers and 18 RBIs in the last 145 ABs and is hitting 6 for 28 with Runners In Scoring Position (a heady .214 RISP which surpasses even the great clutch clutz A-Rod's .211 RISP this season). And not only has he stopped hitting and keeps striking out, but his fielding is very Met-like as well. He's on pace this season to be the first player EVER to lead his position in errors for four consecutive seasons. Yessir. If this guy isn't Mets material, I dunno who is.

*****

On the hitter's front, I couldn't help but wonder what it would take for this Ee-Chee-Row kid at this record pace of hits, to finish the season at .400.

As it turns out, if he played in all the remaining Mariner games and averaged 4 at bats per game, he'd have 697 at bats for the season which would mean he'd have to finish with not just Sisler's 257 hits record, but FAR surpass it, with 279 hits. Now, Ee-Chee-Row hit .463 last month so you've got to be able to imagine he's capable of just about anything, but listen: in order for him to reach 279 hits in his 697 at-bats, he'd have to hit .529 the rest of the season. That's Ee-Chee-OW, my friends so I reckon there's no .400 average in the cards this season.

*****

For the last several weeks, inexplicably, I've been curious to know what Sammy Sosa has been doing ever since he got busted for the corked bat.

You could say not much, but in truth, although his batting average is down (.277 lifetime versus .266 since the corked bat), Sammy is still hitting alot of homers. 63 over his last 765 at bats (one homer every 12.14 at bats), in fact, since the corked bat booboo.

In the three years PRIOR to the corked bat incident, you see that Sammy had 163 homers in 1737 at bats (one homer every 10.65 at bats).

So I think it's fair to say that Sammy was never getting any unfair advantage from what was likely a lone-incident cork up.

*****

Lastly, I couldn't help but stare in wonder at the reaffirmation that, yes, as I've always believed, Larry "Chipper" Jones, is a Grade A Moron.

In case you hadn't heard, Larry named his newborn son after Shea Stadium, home of the New York Mets, NOT the team he plays for.

That's right. A man who plays for the Atlanta Braves named his newborn son Shea Logan Jones after one of the crappiest stadiums in America, perhaps in baseball history. Why?

"The name was going to be Shea, whether it was a boy or girl," Jones
told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "I love playing there. Check the
numbers."

Check the numbers indeed. The newspaper notes that Jones has batted .314 with 17 homers and 41 RBIs in 66 games at Shea Stadium, his most homers at any stadium outside Atlanta.

Wow, real Hall of Fame numbers, Larry. Now think about this a minute while your busy patting yourself on the back for your deductive reasoning powers:

Luis Castillo of the Florida Marlins has hit safely in 25 consecutive games at Shea Stadium, the longest ever in the stadium's sad and ugly history. He is hitting .370 at Shea Stadium. In fact, the last time he failed to get a hit at Shea Stadium was September 1, 2001.

2001. That was 3 years ago. He's hit safely in every game he's played in Shea Stadium for three straight years.

I can't tell you what he named his kids, but I'll bet there isn't a Shea Castillo among them. Maybe something catchy, like Candlestick Park Castillo, or Comiskey Castillo, but almost certainly no Shea Castillo among them.

The funny thing is, if I remember correctly, Chipper Jones' wife filed for a divorce in the late 90s because Chipper had ANOTHER son, this one as a result of an affair with some Hooters waitress.

Oddly enough, he didn't name the other son Hooters Jones, but simply, Matthew. Go figure. I guess all those years in the hot Georgia sun have finally baked his brains once and for all.

Actually, I rather like Hooters Jones. Hooters Jones and the Temple of Doom.

I think I hear Steven Spielberg calling for a sequal already.