The Forgotten Goat: Tony Dungy

Playoff Time has not been kind to Tony Dungy.

Well, the Colts can’t blame the Patriots any more now that a 38-10 regular season record over the last three seasons has resulted in zero Super Bowl appearances. They can’t blame slow turf, inclement weather or the coaching genius of Bill Belichick for that failure. They can’t even blame Peyton Manning who, understandably perhaps if not clandestinely, blamed the utter lack of pass protection from his offensive line.

Yes, the trend is to blame it all on the pitiable Manning legacy. (Dig deep to find another pair of brothers who have failed more miserably than Peyton and Eli in the postseason.) – Blame Archie, blame Eli and blame Peyton but this isn’t really scratching the surface of the Colts failure to capitalise on domefield advantage, perfect indoor weather and a fast track surface.

Yes, Peyton is 3-6 in the playoffs. But XX of those losses came with Tony Dungy coaching his team. No, it isn’t hard to kick a man when he’s down and the man who is down at the moment and upon whom the spotlight should be shown for yet another wretched and disappointing postseason performance is Tony Dungy, the head coach of the Colts and former head coach of the Tampa Bay Bucs.

Let's have a little peek at Mr Dungy's record in the post season:

In 1997, he led the Tampa Bay Bucs to a 10-6 record and a wild card berth. They were able to beat the mediocre Lions but lost in the next round to the eventual NFC Champion Packers, not so bad. Two and out.

1n 1999, after a year out of the postseason, the Bucs won the NFC Central with an 11-5 record, received a first round bye and hosted the Washington Redskins in the second round. The Bucs managed to defeat the Skins by a 14-13 margin but then lost to eventual World Champion St Louis Rams by a pithy 11-6 margin. Two and out.

In 2000, the Bucs managed to squeeze out a wildcard berth with a 10-6 record but lost in the cold of Philly in the first round by a 21-3 margin. One and out.

The next year they didn't make the playoffs and Tony was gone, off to the Indy Colts, who managed a wildcard spot in 2002 with a 10-6 record and were crushed by the Jets 41-0. One and out again.

In 2003, Indianapolis were more formidable, going 12-4 and winning the AFC South earning homefield advantage in the first round against the wild card Denver Broncos which resulted in a 41-10 victory. They even made it past the Chiefs in the next round by a 38-31 margin before being bounced by the Patriots, 24-14 in the AFC Title game, a tune that would ring familiar again.

In 2004, the Colts had an identical 12-4 record, hosting the Broncos again in the first round and winning, this time 49-24. Of course, the Pats bumped them off easily again by a 20-3 margin.

And of course we have this season, starting 13-0, earning homefield through the playoffs and what happens? One and out, poof.

So Manning's playoff record is one of persistent failure indeed but Tony Dungy was failing all on his own with a 2-4 record before Manning ever came along, not to mention that the Bucaneers team he left later went on to win the Super Bowl without him.

Goat, or Goat's concubine?

*****

Other Random Views of the second round of the NFL Playoffs last weekend:

1. It was a weekend of rematches and among the four teams that had won games against their playoff opponents in the regular season, only the Broncos managed to repeat the feat in the postseason. So much for the valuation of previous meetings but hey, by that same token let’s be thankful we won’t have to witness something like a bloody Redskins at Chicago NFC Championship. The NFC has a bad enough reputation without this sort of travesty to further muddy the waters.

2. In Chicago, Carolina coach John Fox badly out-coached his second consecutive opponent, this time, a vaunted NFL Coach of the Year in the form of Lovie Smith one week after Giants star Tiki Barber blatantly and rightfully pointed the finger at his own coaching staff for a humiliating loss. Bears D Coach Ron Rivera a head coaching candidate? Not this week. How do you leave the NFL’s hottest receiver in single coverage when it clearly isn’t working? And why did the Bears, who bragged that they come off the plane rushing suddenly decide to out-Fox themselves by passing instead? With Rex Grossman operating the passing game? Pshaw. If that move didn’t have bonehead written all over it, I don’t what does.

3. Perhaps even more interesting than his performance in his last two postseason games are Steve Smith’s quotes of late:

On perfecting the Art of the Understatement:

“I’m just really utilizing my talents. They throw me the ball, my job is to catch it. If I don’t catch the ball, they will get somebody in here who will.”

And on being defended by his own mother:

“If you lined up my mama over there, I got to catch it over her, too,”

All that, not to mention his pole dance around the goal post last weekend…

4. As if appearing in two AFC title games in his only two seasons wasn’t enough, Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger can now add The Immaculate Tackle to his brief NFL CV. (note that in comparison, Carolina QB Jake Delhomme has “only” appeared in the NFC title game twice in three seasons and has zero miraculous tackles to his credit.) – what a far cry Roethlisberger is from Cowher’s mirthless and dreadful days of Slash.

5. How many times do you see a team lose the NFL MVP early in the game and give away three fumbles, yet still manage to win the game? Against a Joe Gibbs coached team no less? For their first playoff victory since the Reagan Administration?

6. It was mildly shocking that the traditional grind-it-out Steeler reputation gave way to a shockingly pass-happy 21-3 domination early in the game against the Colts. But it paled in comparison to the nearly unfathomable culmination, with the improbable Bettis fumble, the near 93 yard touchdown return of that fumble by a man who had been stabbed by his wife only the night before, Roethlisberger’s Immaculate ankle-grabbing Tackle and finally, Vanderjagt’s unmistakably muffed game-tying FG effort which went wider right than Pat Robertson.

It was the Immaculate Reception, the Music City Miracle and The Drive all wrapped up in one. Big Ben said it best: ”Once in a blue moon, Jerome fumbles. Once in a blue moon, I make a tackle. They just happened to be in the same game.”

And thus, Herm Edwards’ moment as most improbable game-winning touchdown return of a (Larry Csonka, no less!) fumble in the closing seconds of a game remains intact.

7. Bill Cowher has lost all four AFC Championships the Steelers hosted so perhaps this is a good omen to be playing in Denver instead. Ben Roethlisberger is now 25-4 as an NFL starter. At the opposite end of the spectrum, the disappointing and poorly coached Colts finished the season 1-3 after a 13-0 start.

8. How creepy is it for the Broncos that the Patriots lost due more to their own uncharacteristically sloppy play than to any outstanding performance by the Broncos? Sure that bristles readers in Denver but seriously – how big a genius is Bill Belichick if his Pats lost three fumbles and his Mr America QB overthrew receivers all afternoon every playoff game over the last two plus seasons? Let’s face it, if the Patriots had played last Saturday’s game like they’d played the last two seasons, in quiet perfection, then the Broncos would just be a punch line and Shanahan would have to be answering questions about why he can’t win a playoff game without John Elway.

Instead, Champ Bailey turns the game around with a 100 yard interception return that turned a probable Patriot touchdown and 3 point lead into an 11 point lead for the Broncos. That’s a 14 point difference. All the difference in the world.

Even more than New England’s 253 pound tight end Benjamin Watson maniacally sprinting cross field to smash into the unsuspecting Bailey on the 1 yard line causing a fumble. Even if it should have been a touchback.

My new all-time favourite special teams moment: Denver punter Todd Sauerbrun makes a jarring tackle on Ellis Hobbs hard enough to cause a fumble. Granted, Sauerbrun, given his rather large proportions, is not your father’s punter but it sure set the old punter stereotype on its head for a moment, didn’t it?

9. The two teams hosting championship games this weekend are a combined 18-0 at home this season. Yet, the two road teams are a collective 16-4 on the road this season, which is perhaps more amazing. All four remaining head coaches have led teams to the Super Bowl previously, Carolina coach John Fox most recently.

10. The Steelers and Panthers will both be fighting history to take three in a row on the road to the Super Bowl. Isn’t it almost unavoidable that one of those two teams will suddenly lose steam and tumble quickly?



AFC Championship - Pittsburgh at Denver

Among other things, this is the battle between the two winningest coaches in the NFL over the last decade.

It’s hard to ignore the blooming of Ben Roethlisberger as an elite QB. His only playoff loss to date is against the fabled Tom Brady and what will we be saying if he goes on to help the Steelers win the Super Bowl in only his second season?

How unusual is it that there are Two Jakes left in the NFL season and how weird would it be if they were both starting in the Super Bowl this year? I’d venture that it’s never happened in Super Bowl history. Once in a blue moon, as Big Ben might say.

Both teams are coming off emotional and perhaps equally unexpected victories and whilst the Steelers might be more physically exhausted having already played two playoff games on the road, both teams would likely be emotionally fatigued by the wildness and improbability of their respective victories.

What does Jerome Bettis do now with this miracle second chance to finish his career with a Super Bowl title? Does he ask Roethlisberger to score the winning touchdown on a quarterback sneak?

Revisiting the Clinton Portis for Champ Bailey trade, anyone? How you like me now?

Thanks in large part to all those Elway years, the Broncos are 6-1 all-time in AFC Championship games.

Not only that, but the Steelers have no cheerleaders. No cheerleaders. No chicks in hard hats and skimpy outfits inspiring the heroes on to victory. For shame. Hard to root for that.

Then again, it’s hard to root for Mike Shanahan’s blindingly bright upper front teeth which don’t look like they belong in a human mouth, so there you go.

Sad Day For the Lads On Sunday

They always say this game will come down to…something. Turnovers, special team play, mistakes and penalties, clock management, little red flags, little green men, the cumulative team body temperature, stool samples, nice guys finishing last, the number of chickens counted before they’ve hatched, quarterback zodiac signs, you name it.

It’s been noted that scientific study indicates it is better to have less exposure to high altitudes unless your body has more than a week to adjust to it. In other words, the Steelers are waiting until late in the week to go up to Denver.

Well, I’ve got a little secret for you: the game will come down to the final score.

I’m rooting for Pittsburgh primarily because I like Bill Cowher better than Mike Shanahan and I like Ben Roethlisberger better than Jake the Snake. I’d like to see the Steelers pound the Broncos into submission, rattle The Jake into a performance reminiscent of his former Arizona Cardinals self. I’d like to see Jerome Bettis get his last hurrah in the Super Bowl and I’d like to see a Steelers-Panthers Super Bowl.

But logic tells me the Broncos and their stinking Coors Lite brigade will not fail to disgust me by making this potentially exciting game a slow wearing down of Steeler resolve. A few chicks on their sidelines in hard hats and skimpy outfits might have helped.

Final Score:

Broncos 23
Steelers 10


(DELHOMME)

NFC Championship - Carolina at Seattle

I confess, I’ll be rootin silly for the Carolina Panthers in this game. Steve Smith, recently anointed NFL coaching guru John Fox, a third string running back starting in place of the two injured guys who started before him and the nickname all combine to be sufficient incentives for rooting. Not only that, but the Panthers are the only team remaining out of my two preseason Super Bowl picks. The Jets bowed out after their season opening humiliation at the hands of the KC Chiefs.

But Mike Holmgren has proven, over a sometimes painfully long journey of post-Packer seasons, that he is a coaching talent to be reckoned with. This isn’t a spectacular team. Let’s face it, playing in a division tougher than the one they waltzed through the Seahawks wouldn’t have gained their 13 victories and home field advantage throughout the playoffs. And undoubtedly, beating the offensively Deadskins to get to the NFC finals is hardly a miraculous feat. But the Seahawks are here because in large part, of Mike Holmgren, maker of quality NFL Quarterbacks and Hasselbeck might prove yet to be one of them. Last week’s victory over the Redskins was more about Holmgren and home field and a weak opponent. It certainly wasn’t NFL MVP Shaun Alexander on the sidelines with a concussion.

Carolina is 8-2 on the road this year and 4-0 on the road under Fox in the postseason.

More importantly, “Cat” teams, as in Panthers, Jaguars, Lions and Bengals, are a combined 10-1 this season against “Bird” teams, as in Seahawks, Eagles, Cardinals, Falcons and Ravens. For that matter, why the hell are 9 NFL football teams named after cats and birds?! How fucking scary is a bird anyway, unless we’re watching a Hitchcock movie? Everyone knows how much cats like eating birds. If the Panthers were playing, say, the some team with a nickname like the Snarling, Rabid Giant Dogs, I’d say well, they haven’t got a chance. But lock them both up in a cage and 99 times out of 100, the Panther is going to eat the Seahawk.

And speaking of the importance of nicknames in deciding the outcomes of championship games, how do we classify a team like the Steelers? Are they considered a “Factory” team, like the Packers, for example? What about the omens buried in the Broncos nickname? Fuggetaboutit. We all saw how the Colts did last weekend. Horses are definitely out this season.

No, this game has weightier issues to ponder, like opposing quarterbacks with such meaty surnames as Hasselbeck and Delhomme.

Implausible Scenarios:

If Steve Smith’s receiving stats were to grow exponentially from his performances in the first two playoff games, he’d finish Sunday’s game with like, 28 receptions and 490 yards receiving and the Panthers probably win this game 59-3.

Smith’s td reception against the Bears on the second play of the game was even faster than Shawn Alexander’s TKO against the Redskins. Does this mean that if Shawn Alexander bursts for an 80 yard touchdown on the game’s first play from scrimmage then Steve Smith will break his leg running out onto the field during pregame introductions? Yes it does and that of course, would mean the Seahawks would win this one 31-10.

Nope.

Fox is the new coaching genius in waiting now that Belichick is yesterday’s sandwich dropped into a kerbside rubbish bin and everybody knows that new coaching geniuses don’t lose to fat, walrus-like head coaches like Mike Holmgren.

Final Score:

Carolina 27 Seattle 13.

Ultimately, Seattle is closer to being Nike Town than Title Town.