Friday, March 17, 2006

ADIOS, LOS ESTADOS UNIDOS!


(Welcome to Loserville, USA...)

The tension was palatable. The Inventors of Baseball against their poor cousins South of the Border with elimination on the line, Roger Clemens on the mound.

Vaguely human after all, Clemens allowed six hits and two runs in 4 1/3 innings rather than a complete shutdown of a Mexican batting order that consisted of such stunning talents as Amezega (WHO?), Cantu, Castillo, Durazo, Garcia...well, you get the picture. Not exactly the Dominican Murderer's Row he was facing.

"I couldn't be more proud of how these guys have gone about their business from Day 1,". consoled US losermanager Buck Martinez who managed the inaugural Team USA right out of the their own bloody tournament! Good job.

Or perhaps we might like to pin the tail on the donkey of the US batting order which stumbled and swished with equal ablomb against a Mexican pitching staff which numbered eight by the time the game was over. That's right, eight different pitchers, nearly one for every batter, a pitcher for every occasion.

Derek Jeter? Oh for four. Junior Griffey? One for four. A-Rod, predictably, oh for two, a .167 batting average for the WBC. Perhaps next time America should insist A-Rod play for the Dominicans or Puerto Ricans, or whomever wishes to claim him. In all, three bloody hits all night. Three.

They weren't facing, I dunno, Zeus on the mound with Clemens, Satan and The Big Unit warming up in the bullpen. We're talking Odalis Perez, Jorge de la Rosa, Fransisco Campos, Edgar Gonzalez, et al. You know, the kind of pitchers that strike fear in the hearts of batters all around the world.

So it's all over for the Inventors of Baseball. Back to Spring Training, back to the stinkin' Yankees, disperse in humiliation! Maybe next time they should change the rules so anyone who plays baseball professional in America has to play for America...that ought to sort it out. Crooked umps simply weren't sufficient this time boys.

Japan will now play undefeated Korea a third time and the Dominican Republic will play Cuba and frankly, it's a testament to this new Classic that both of those games are certain to be nail-biting, intercultural, stomach churning classics in their own right.

*****

Day One: Syracuse knocked out, likely exhausted by winning the Big East. My Wisconsin-Milwaukee pick on bracket number three looks like inspired genius but is of course governed by the rule of if you fill out enough brackets, mathematically, eventually, one of the picks is bound to be correct...

Glad to see George Washington make into another round, completing yet another stunning comeback. And oh yeah, all of you that had twelfth seeded Montana knocking Nevada, well, guess you're ahead in your pools today.

Not to mention virtual overload, split screens, screaming, cheering, announcers trembling voices quaking with anticipation - all for free, all op de internet, gratis..still can't believe that one...


White Boys Bringin It Home...

In Philly it is reported that NCAA rules prohibit the Wachovia Center venue from selling alcoholic beverages this weekend, except in privately owned luxury boxes and suites. So only the rich are allowed to get drunk. Or friends of the rich. Or friends of friends who know rich people or corporate leeches who get in on the backs of the friends' fathers, stepchildren, sober and upstanding citizenry...

****

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