It isn't exactly shocking news or at least, the frequency of managerial changes has inured me to allowing increased heart palpitations every time Newcastle change managers.
Yes, bravo. Alan Shearer, Geordie Golden Boy, is coming to manage Newcastle for the last 8 games of the season and try to save them from imminent relegation to anonymity and disaster.
My first reaction is: if he were joining Newcastle to play striker, great. Manager? He's not even professional qualified.
Ok, he says he thinks he can bring some "confidence" back to the squad.
Great, they need it yes, but how a trainer? How about bringing a few players with him who don't spend the majority of every season out injured?
Yes, this latest greatest crisis in my favourite side's season makes for remarkable press - Geordie supporters have been begging for Alan Shearer ever since Kevin Keegan took his toys and went home.
The team has been one long joke. First, over a year ago, Sam Allardyce was sacked, the dumbest move in a series of idiotic moves that have ruined the franchise.
Then he's replaced by Keegan, which, since I was against sacking Allardyce to begin with, only seemed like adding one dumb move atop another. But even when Keegan was managing to look like he might be capable of doing something, the fat pig, beer-swilling owner who shall remain nameless, undercut Keegan to the point that Keegan felt like quitting so restricted was he by the owner's moves.
So off go two good managers and in comes Joe Kinnear who frankly, was doing quite a decent little job despite his lack of star status and then goes off and gets a fucked heart needing triple bypass surgery to end his managerial career with Newcastle. How's that for bad luck? The Curse of Sam, methinks.
And since then, Newcastle have sort of sputtered along, spinning down the drain of mediocrity.
The only real good news was getting rid of this useless cunt.
So now, here we are, 8 games from season's end, 8 games from relegation.
Can Shearer and England reject Michael Owen, who is allegedly fully fit again (injury countdown, 1 week?)
Given their schedule, if Shearer can keep Newcastle from relegation he's a bloody genius and doesn't need a coaching badge.
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