Home On The Range
'Where seldom is heard a discouraging word
And the skies are not cloudy all day"

The White Sox big homestand, during which they've won all six games they've played plus 10 of their last 12 and has seen them propelled into first place, concludes today. Frank Thomas will be one of the sadder White Sox to say goodbye since he's hit 26 of his 34 home runs at home. Only four AL teams have won fewer road games than the Sox and after today's conclusion to a seven-game homestand, 16 of the Sox' final 31 games are on the road. Only three of their road games will be against a team with a losing home record--the Detroit Tigers next week. Next stop: Yankee Stadium.

On the other hand, neither the Royals nor the Twins seem to prefer playing at home. So far, the Royals have pulled out the last two of three in the Metrodome. Just last weekend, the Twins beat KC two out of three in Kauffman Stadium. Last night, the Twins went 2 for 11 with runners in scoring position and stranded eight runners and lost 4-3. Aaron Guiel, the one who hit the game-deciding three run homer, was playing in Mexico when the Royals signed him to a minor league deal in 2001.

From the Here Is What You Get For The Fourth Lowest Payroll In Baseball Department: The Royals have a Dodge Buck Night for Tuesday's game against Texas at Kauffman Stadium. Hot dogs, small soft drinks and small packages of peanuts are $1 each. Wouldn't it be more exciting to have a Burn Buck Night instead and burn Texas manager Buck Showalter in effigy, charging "only" a buck for spectators who might want to take a swing at it with a stick and try to knock a wad of hundred dollar bills from a burning pinata? Kansas City will play 22 of its next 23 games against clubs with losing records.

Not that I've got anything against Buck Showalter. For awhile, he was the poor man's Tony LaRussa. But if his track record is any indication, the Texas Rangers won't win a World Championship until after Showalter leaves the team. The Yankees and the Diamondbacks both had spectacular success on the spoils of Showalter's astute evaluations and burn-out level intensity.

Smoked Marlin Recipe

"Shred the marlin pitching game by game and put some pepper, a tsp. mustard and a tbsp. vinegar, set aside. Put some miscues and failed late inning rallies and olive oil in a pan, add 1/2 chopped Dontrelle and cook until it's transparent, put the marlin and cook 10 minutes. Blend a small can of tomato McKeon with a garlic clove and serrano pepper put it over the fish and cook for 5 minutes in a football stadium on Dan Marino Blvd. Put some olives and some canned losses on a long road trip and turn off the heat as soon as it boils. You can serve it with rice and stuff it in third place, out of the wildcard race."

I'm officially hopping off the Marlins bandwagon. That sucking sound you just heard was all 17 Marlins fans jumping off the bandwagon at the same time. How do you root against the Giants the day Bobby Bonds finally dies?

It isn't just the five consecutive losses but inflaming the sore is the performance of Dontrelle Willis. We've been waiting in vain for The D Train ever since he outdueled Randy Johnson, the apex of his performance this season. Since then, his numbers are disturbing. The kind of numbers that leads your team to a third place finish and sitting out the post season. He's lost his sparkle, dulled his spitshine. Since that night at the end of July when Randy Johnson was outflayed, Dontrelle has started four games, pitching a total of 21 innings. In 21 innings, he managed to lose two games and surrender 17 earned runs for an ERA of 7.29. You don't run to the postseason by breaking through a 7.29 ERA finish line. Marlins manager McKeon said he does not believe Willis is fatigued, though the pitcher is nearing his single-season high in innings. Willis has thrown 149 2/3 innings between Double A Carolina and the Marlins -- eight innings fewer than last season.

NL Central Changing of the Guards

While Dontrelle fades into the wallpaper, another pitcher emerges to shape the NL races. Matt Morris. Morris, who has been troubled by shoulder miseries, fractured a bone in his hand, then sprained an ankle, held the Philadelphia Phillies to one run in five sharp innings yesterday just as the Cardinals pitching staff prospects were going into cardiac arrest while Sterling Hitchcock and Mike DeJean were summoned to revive it. If Morris can return to his April or May form, when he was 2-2 with a 1.77 ERA and 4-1 with a 2.23 ERA respectively, the Cardinals might be able to hold their spot in first place which they now co-hold with Houston, a half-game ahead of the Cubs.

In yesterday's 5-3 victory over Philly saw newcomer Sterling Hitchcock get a victory in his first appearance for the Cardinals. One inning pitched, one victory. As a Yankee, Hitchcock was like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, needing oil to be able to walk or talk. Now he's in St. Louis and the next thing you know, one hit, one walk and one strikeout later, he's already got a win in his first game as a Cardinal. Mike DeJean's debut was slightly less miraculous. He gave up two runs, a walk and two hits in his one inning. Two pitchers fired out of the starter's gun in two different directions. They will likely be appearing at home again for the big showdown against the Cubs beginning on Tuesday.

If Mark McGwire were still playing in a Cardinals uniform this season, would he have made any difference in the race? What would it have been like to have Pujols hitting ahead of McGwire, or vice-versa? Would that be like Hack Wilson, or Ernie Banks, hitting behind Sammy Sosa?

*****

How Many Wolfs To Spoil The Stew?

"The angles are crazy," Cameron said. "I went back as far I could to try to make a play and I jumped. Anytime I jump I have it lined up and I thought I had it. Then I hit that damn monster and that popped it loose."

This helped keep the Red Sox even with the A's yesterday. Can the Red Sox Nation exhale now?

One member of the Red Sox Nation, yesterday's home-plate umpire Jim Wolf, must have by now. Wolf, brother of Phillies pitcher Randy Wolf, is clearly rooting for a Red Sox-Phillies World Series. For some crazy reason, he's allowed to umpire games that the Phillies primary competition, the Florida Marlins, are playing in, making one questionable call after another, three in one game that cost the Marlins a victory. Yesterday, he's calling a strikezone on Mariners' pitcher Freddy Garcia that a tailor couldn't have slid a needle through and then he blows a call on Mariner John Mabry, saying he didn't touch home-plate when he did.

"I thought I got it, but I'm not the one that counts," it was reported that Mabry, whose earlier double had keyed a three-run second inning, said. "I pointed at the plate and said, 'There's my skid mark.' Not only did I manage to get my front foot on the plate, but also my trail foot."

Whose going to be the home-plate umpire for tonight's series finale, John Henry?

The Mariners fourth loss in a row is allowing the crippled A's to regain a sense of equilibrium after the news of Mark Mulder's stress fracture. It's only two games now. The question is, can a patchwork rotation keep pace with the Mariners when they face each other six of the last nine games of the season or will the A's pick up another arm before then?