NFL Week Two Impressions, Week Three Predictions

How wrong can Sports Amnesia be?

TO breaks his finger and goes pffft against the Redskins. SA said: "I've got an ugly feeling about this game being a massive blowout with TO scoring like 3 TDs."

Rex Grossman has thrown five tds in his first two games. SA said: "Griese will be starting before the end of the month because everyone knows the lifespan of a Rex Grossman season is shorter than the incubation period of Salmonella." If so, this will have to be the week Grossman goes down...

The Unbeatens:

1. SD
2. Indy
3. Baltimore
4. Cincy
5. NE
6. Jacksonville
7. Chicago
8. Seattle
9. Atlanta
10 Minnesota
10. Nawlins

Battle of Unbeatens:

ATLANTA FALCONS (-3 1/2)at NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: The Falcons have emerged as a running team (no shock considering their wishbone-style QB, Crazy Legs Vick. Imagine, a MNF game which actually "looks" like a good match. The Falcons were 3-0 in MNF games last season. None of those wins were playing in what is likely to be one of the more emotionally-charged games of the early season with the return to the Superdome after The Hurricane. And as I pointed out last week, I simply DON'T want to find myself in the position of rooting for the Falcons simply to win the office pool. Pick: Saints.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (+7) at INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: The Colts as we all know, are a regular season scoring machine whilst the Jags looked surprisingly tough in a MNF victory over the Steelers in what was the lowest scoring game in "Monday Night Football" history.. Five of these outings over the last few years have been decided by 8 points or fewer, hence the line. Pick: Colts.

CHICAGO BEARS (-4 1/2) at MINNESOTA VIKINGS: Which is more of an illusion, the Vikings unbeaten start or Rex Grossman's sudden domination? The Bears beat sadsacks Packers and Lions by a combined 61-7. The Vikings were a miserable 2-for-15 on third downs against Carolina last week despite their victory and have only two touchdowns in eight red-zone trips this season. Pick: Bears

Brett Favre needs "only" 22 more TD passes to pass Dan Marino for most TD passes.

I don't care about starting the season 0-2. The Panthers were 2-7 in 2004 and won five out of six to at least put themselves to be playing for a playoff spot in Week 17. They were 1-2 last year and still made it to the NFC title game at Seattle.

Chargers 67, Opposition 7.
Opposition 55, Raiders 6.
Denver - Eight quarters, no touchdown passes.

Looks like Kerry Collins has done so well in the Titans' losing beginning to the season with his miserable 40.4 completion rate and 0 to 4 TD to Int ratio that they feel comfortable enough to ship backup QB Billy Volek to the Chargers. At least Young is waiting in the background.

The Bucs on the other hand have struggled to lose their first two games with QB Chris Simms throwing 0 touchdowns and 6 interceptions - could probably blame the fact that they are dead-last in the league in rushing for the miserable start.

Had the chance to watch the Dolphins-Bills game and wow, that Daunte Culpepper looks like last year's version before the mercifully well-timed injury, fumbling, stumbling, giving the ball away at every opportunity. You are only as good as your QB and the Dolphins look like they aren't going far under the current regime, genius coach notwithstanding. But perhaps this is nothing to do with how bad Culpepper is but down to how good the Bills have become? And hey, how about Bills punter Brian Morman's six attempts in the Bills' victory over Miami - five were downed inside the Miami 20-yard line and four were inside the 10! In eight quarters, Buffalo has not allowed a rushing touchdown and has 10 sacks and at least 12 additional quarterback pressures

Carolina has not started a season 0-2 since 1999 and has not dropped it first three games since 1998, when it opened 0-7. Tampa Bay last dropped its first two games in 2004, when it went 0-4. Bucs have scored 3 points all season.

The rest of the games:

Cincinnati (+2) at Pittsburgh: This is the Carson Palmer grudge match and might either launch him and his Bengals into a mad run on the season or terrify him back to the bench because of the reminders. The Steelers scored at least 27 points in their three meetings with Cincinnati last season and they'll be playing at home but their running game isn't what it once was. Bengals WR Chad Johnson, quoted in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review on the concussion he received from Browns S Brian Russell: “If I was in his shoes, I would have taken that shot, too. I mean, it's not very often you get a chance to hit me. He has a great story he'll be able to tell his grandkids":Pick: Bengals.

N.Y. Giants (+3½) at Seattle: Alot of worries about "noise" for this game. The Seahawks have won 11 consecutive regular- season games and 23 of 26 since 2002 at home and alot of people believe they are pumping in artificial noise to supplement the sounds of 67,000+ Seahawks supporters sipping Starbucks. Pick: Giants.

Redskins (-4) at Houston: The big news is that Clinton Portis will likely be back for the Skins after missing the first two games of the season and with him will come the running game the otherwise impotent Redskins new fangled offence requires to operate competently. Portis says his shoulder is "about 105 percent and climbing" Pick: Redskins.

Tennessee (+10 1/2) at Miami: I'm happy to say I wasn't one of those jumping on the Dolphins bandwagon before the start of this season. These are two teams in offensive disarray which would make the spread seem daunting if the Dolphins hadn't been underperforming with such emphatic prowess. Time for Duante to, as they say so colourfully in certain places, shit or get off the pot. (no Ricky Williams pun intended...) Pick: Dolphins.

Baltimore (- 7 1/2) at Cleveland: On paper this looks like a double digit route waiting to happen so one wonders what the bookies know that the Average Joe does not. An exploitive, angry defence facing a timid offence. These are the Browns after all. The Ravens will continue their run without giving up a touchdown. I'm not looking into any hidden meanings about the low spread. Pick: Ravens.

Carolina (-3) at Tampa Bay: Who'd have thought both of these teams would be without wins two weeks into the season? Like the Redskins, the Panthers have been without their star offensive player to start the season and the absence has been telling. But like Portis with the Skins, Steve Smith is finally expected back for this do-or-die match this early in the season, hamstrings be damned. The threat should be serious enough even if he's only at half speed. Smith, quoted in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution on remarks made earlier in the week by Falcons CB DeAngelo Hall: “I find it real comedy that I guess when you're on the top you have a lot of people trying to knock you down. When you talk, you obviously are insecure about something, and if you talk long enough, you'll hang yourself.” Through two games, Buccaneers QB Chris Simms has a 40.0 QB rating and isn't talking much. Pick: Carolina.

Denver (+7) at New England: Hey, do the Broncos really miss Kubiak that much or has the veil of reality finally been lifted from the idiotic Jake Plummer mystique? Pick: Denver.

Green Bay (+7) at Detroit: Sports Amnesia picked the Pack to make the postseason but time is running out quickly on this fantasy even if Brett Favre almost began to look like his former self last week against the Saints. That the Lions would be giving a way a touchdown, even at home, seems absurd at best especially considering the defence is so impotent it made Rex Grossman look like Brett Favre in his prime. Pick: Green Bay.

Jets (+6) at Buffalo: Be afraid of this Bills defence as they are possibly the most surprising of the season so far, nearly putting down the Pats and crushing the Dolphins on the road. The Jets almost beat the Pats themselves but only after they had been made to look like practiced incompetents early on. This is Kevin Barlow's break out game. Pick: Jets.

Philly (-6 1/2) at San Francisco: The Iggles will be coming off a stunning loss to the Giants and traveling cross country to face a moribound 49ers team. Worse still, DE Jevon Kearse is out for the year with a significant knee sprain. The good news is that TO is still in Dallas. Pick: Philly.

St Louis (+ 4 1/2) at Arizona: Every week, like in Chicago with Rex Grossman, the air is ripe with the smell of Kurt Warner's season-improving injury. The Rams have scored only one touchdown this season and gave up six sacks last week. Pick: Arizona.

Last week, 7-9. Season 15-17.