Saturday, September 30, 2006

Winless:

If you support a team who hasn't won a game yet this season, chances are you might as well find some other hobby to distract you for the next three months. Ok, you've got the baseball playoffs that will last to nearly November, then you've got NCAA basketball mixed in with the season's holidays and culimating with the Super Bowl before you can finally get excited about the April draft.

Otherwise, you can cry in your beer and fantasise about scenarios wherein your favourite teams bounces back and makes a miraculous run at the NFL playoffs.

Well, not if your a Raiders (0-2) fan, a Texans (0-3) fan, a Lions (0-3) fan, a Titans (0-3) fan, a Bucaneers (0-3) fan or a Browns fan (0-3).

In fact of the winless teams remaining, only KC (0-3) has a prayer of rejuvinating their season but Herm Edwards is a tried and true failure from his Jets' days so perhaps you'd better start boning up on the Jayhawks' chance at the National Title.

Last week, two tight ends on losing teams spoke their minds. Jeremy Shockey of the Giants and Kellen Winslow of the Browns, probably not coincidentally former members of the Miami Hurricanes and big ego-maniacs, have had enough of losing.

Shockey said the Giants were "outplayed and outcoached" Sunday in a 42-30 loss to the Seahawks, an observation that has been more than once against head coach task master Tom Coughlin.

Meanwhile in Cleveland, Winslow whinged that "Some of the coaches might just be holding us back a little bit. I don't mean to try to go behind their backs or whatever, but let's go, let's air it out, let's run the ball, let's make plays, let's be exciting."

Exciting as in, gimme the ball.

"I think we're being a little too conservative right now and we just need to unleash it," he said. "Why wait? We're 0-2. We've got nothing to lose."

Nothing but another game to lose.

So who has the best chance to break their early winless streaks? Well, either the Browns or Raiders will have to be default since they are playing each other. The Texans, Lions and Titans are all favoured to lose and the Bucs, with no decent QB to replace the injured Simms have a timely bye this week so they aren't even playing and will definately remain without a win.

Indianapolis (-9) At NY Jets - The Colts have won their games by an average of 10.3 points. The line suggests this Pick: Jets

San Diego (-2.5) At Baltimore - The most telling stat in this game is that the Chargers' opponents are a collective 0-5 whilst the collective record of the Ravens is 0-8. Finally, one of these teams is going to beat somebody with a winning record. Pick: Baltimore

At Buffalo (-1) Minnesota - All three of the Vikings' games have been decided by three points. Pick: Buffalo

Dallas (-9.5) At Tennessee - Dallas police have classified Terrell Owens' case as an "accidental overdose," not an attempted suicide,"They can slap the hand; they can do whatever they want to the hand. I will be ready." Pick: Dallas

At Kansas City (-7) San Francisco The Chiefs have a winning percentage of .638 at Arrowhead since the place opened in 1972. But the good news for the 49ers is that the NFL has admitted to the 49ers that the officiating crew made at least three mistakes during their 38-24 loss six days ago to the Philadelphia Eagles. Without those three mistakes the 49ers would be the shock team of the season. Pick: San Francisco

At Carolina (-7) New Orleans - That was quite a coming out party for the Saints at home last Monday Night and with the Panthers beginning their annual rebound, the test will be tough. Pick: New Orleans

At Atlanta (-7.5) Arizona - The Cardinals have lost 14 of 17 on road under coach Dennis Green. Matt Leinart is going to replace the Jesus QB any day now, perhaps by the third quarter of this game. Pick: Atlanta

Miami (-3.5) At Houston- The Dolphins are averaging a whopping 12 points a game but if an ailing offence like the Redskins can look so suddenly competent against Houston, the bet here is that the Dolphins might be able to score a few touchdowns for a change. Pick: Miami

@St. Louis (-5.5) Detroit - Mike Martz, who spent 12 of the last 14 seasons working for the Rams franchise, faces his former team for the first time since he was fired as head coach last year. Pick: Detroit

At Cincinnati (-5.5) New England - New England has been impressive on the ground this season, averaging 126.7 rushing yards per game while controlling the football an average of 30.29 minutes in its first three games. Pick: New England.

Jacksonville (-3) At Washington - After the offensive mirage caused by playing one of the league's worst defences (no wonder they passed up Reggie Bush for a defensive lineman,) the Redskins will look as confused as ever against one of the league's staunchest defences. Not to mention that the Jags have won 8 of their last 11 road games. "Jacksonville is like the stand-up comic who can only use vulgarity and curse words because he lacks intelligence and lacks class." -- Colts punter Hunter Smith... Pick: Jacksonville

Cleveland (-3) At Oakland - Yes, we can make all the jokes we like about this being the bowl for the number one pick in next April's draft but none of those jokes will be as funny or as predictable as Pick: Oakland

At Chicago (-3.5) Seattle - Injured Seahawk back Shawn Alexander showed up at the team's facility without the protective boot on his left foot, invigorated by the "power of prayer" and thinking he could play in Sunday night's nationally televised showdown against the also-unbeaten Bears. Somehow, I think God has other things on his mind, like TO, besides Alexander's cracked fourth metatarsal in his left foot. Meanwhile, Rex Grossman will start a fourth game in a row for the first time in his four-year career. Pick: Chicago

Monday Night Football

At Philadelphia (-11) Green Bay Pick: Philly

Last week: 8-5-1
Season: 23-22-1

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