WEEK 17 - The Prayoffs

With one little weekend remaining in the regular season it all comes down to the last minute mania of 11 teams vying for the three remaining playoff spots. The only certainty is at least one of those teams will be a .500 club, namely an NFC team. Parity raise your ugly head!

Still, not all the news is bad news. Every television market other than those with a home game will receive a 1 p.m. ET game on CBS and FOX and a 4:15 p.m. ET game on each network. This is the first time fans in those markets will receive four Sunday afternoon games. Here in the UK, that means what they like to say, sweet feck all considering we will get our standard two matches, these week the Pats v Titans and Falcons v Iggles. PLUS the bonus late Sunday Night game.

Now, rather than rattle off all the confusing, likely and unlikely scenarios it might be prudent to recall that last week again demonstrated that nothing is certain in this whacky NFL season and perhaps, as in many cases, the least expected is to be expected. (Witness my late season surge last week in improbably correct guessing to whit.) Thus, there is no miracle cure for accounting which three teams of the remaining (Boo hoo to Arizona, Buffalo, Cleveland, Detroit, Houston, Miami, Minnesota, Oakland, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, Tampa Bay and Washington who have ALL been eliminated from playoff contention,) will get their final slots, let's just get right down to it, drop the scientific know-how, the educated guesses and the wishful thinking.

This week it's time to consider the most absurd potentials:

SATURDAY STEEL CAGE MATCH

N.Y. Giants (-2 1/2) vs. WASHINGTON - The NFC is everyone's whipping boy this season and well it should be considering the blight they are about to besmirch the postseason with. The Giants, despite a 7-8 record and a dismal month behind them are in the catbird seat for the final spot. All they have to do is beat the Redskins, something they have a long and hearty history of doing, especially when it comes to meaningful games against Joe Gibbs teams. All the more reason the Redskins just might upset the apple cart. Pick: Redskins.

SUNDAY FINALES

PHILADELPHIA (-7) vs. Atlanta - Philly on a roll with their new-found wundermensch in Garcia at QB not only qualified for the playoffs last week but might even still knock the Cowboys from the NFC East perch. The Falcons, on the other hand are flying on one wing, the wing of Michael Vick and all season, Michael Vick has astounded and demoralised his team with his alternating skill and mediocrity. Amid all this the Falcons have lost 6 of their last 8. You might say the time is right if not too late for a turnaround but what can stop Garcia-Magic making them the underdog favourites to make it to the Super Bowl? Pick: Iggles.

BALTIMORE (-9) vs. Buffalo - The only redeeming quality of this game is that the Ravens are fighting for a first round bye, an extra week to recover whilst the Bills try and draw meaning from a season that appears to be finishing better than it started. The Bills won't run on the Ravens although Willis McGahee needs just 33 yards for his third straight 1,000-yard season. Question is, a strong finish to the season and .500 record on the road - is that enough to inspire the Bills? Pick: Ravens.

NEW ORLEANS (-8) vs. Carolina - Looks like the Panthers might return to the NFL again now that Jake Delhomme is scheduled to make his return. The Saints have already clinched and may be looking outward to the week ahead already following their Cinderella season. Pick: Panthers.

HOUSTON (-3 1/2) vs. Cleveland - The key in all of this is failing to overthink. That's what happens when the Houston Texans swallow the Indy Colts in their franchise-biggest win in history and the Browns can equal their crappy 2-6 home record with a 2-6 road record with just one more loss. Still, no playoff repercussions in this one, difficult to get enthused for either team and we shall rely upon the laws of anti-momentum in this one even though the Browns have the worst defence in professional football however with former U of Miami star Ken Dorsey getting the start, perhaps the Browns will score more on the Texans than the Colts were able to muster. Pick: Browns.

DALLAS (-11) vs. Detroit - You can only imagine this going one way, can't you? Lopsided and sloppy. But the Romo Magic has worn thin as defences have discovered more and more ways to defend the magic boy blunder and one is forced to wonder whether Bledsoe might ever reappear for the Cowboy Stars if things ever got really dire. The Boyz have plenty of motivation whereas the Lions are fighting for the #1 pick in the draft. Dallas (9-6) can still win the division and the NFC's third seed if it beats Detroit and Philadelphia loses to Atlanta. That would mean a home playoff game for the first time since 1998. But if the Cowboys lose, they'll open the first week of the postseason on the road at Seattle. Considering the Seahawks' season that might be preferable to the Boyz but all this in-team bickering has to end somewhere and 3 TD passes to TO would probably shut everyone up for awhile. Pick: Cowboys.

KANSAS CITY (-3) vs. Jacksonville - has covered its final road game three of the last four seasons and is 10-1-1 against the spread in its last 12 games when not favored. From a playoff perspective, both teams can still get in, provided the Jets and Broncos don't both win. "I'm very disappointed," Kansas City coach Herman Edwards said, summing up his Jets coaching career. "I didn't come in here just to win some games. I came in here to try to win a division, win a championship. Well, best intentions being what they are, I say a Herm Edwards-coached team chokes the bit again. Pick: Jags.

INDIANAPOLIS (-7 1/2) vs. Miami - The Colts, tsk, tsk. Notoriously poor finishers, the Colts have failed to cover their final home game, and their final game overall, each of the last four seasons. Of course by then, they'd already clinched the greatest team in the History of the NFL that sucked when it mattered most. This time, this new theme of lose alot going into the playoffs just might be magic. Then again, as we've all heard ad infinitum since the beginning of childhood, this is the time of year that teams that don't defend against the run get squashed. On the other hand, the Dolphins have just about run out of QB options and with Persnickity Lemon starting the returning Ronnie Brown will have to get 30 carries at least to make this game anything but a route. By the way, an interesting note: Peyton Manning, 3-7 lifetime against the Dolphins. All the more reason the Colts won't be kicked when they are down. Pick: Colts.

TENNESSEE (-3) vs. New England - I don't mind telling you I'd like to see the NFL's newest edition to the most-exciting team with their rookie QB wonder and having covered its final home game in six of the last seven seasons, make it straight into the playoffs. But too many teams have got to lose for this to happen (namely root against Cincy, Jacksonville and Denver). The thing to remember is that the Patriots don't have much to play for and they will likely need to rest alot of starters heading into the playoffs so even though the Titans won't likely reach the playoff galaxy, they still rank with the Saints for the greatest comeback story of the season. Pick: Titans.

N.Y. JETS (-11 1/2) vs. Oakland - If Herm Edwards were still coaching the Jets with everything on the line like this, I'd say the Rayduhs win this one handily. But he isn't. Coaching Boy Wonder Eric Mangini is, thank god. If the Jets win, they're in - it's that simple. If they lose, they would get in if Cincinnati and Jacksonville lose or tie; if Cincinnati loses or ties and Tennessee wins; or if Denver and Jacksonville lose. You'd think that's just too much calculating for anyone's head. But let's consider the Jets haven't won three in a row Nov. 21-Dec. 5, 2004. Pick: Rayduhs.

CINCINNATI (-6) vs. Pittsburgh - The Defending World Champs are gone, out of it. The Bengals would make the playoffs if hell freezes over OR if the Bengals win and the New York Jets lose at home to 2-13 Oakland, Cincinnati would earn a wild-card berth OR they could also earn the wild card with a victory, combined with a Denver loss at home to San Francisco and a Kansas City win over Jacksonville. On the other hand, who thinks the Steelers would stink it up in what might be Bill Cowher's final game coaching them? Pick: Steelers.

TAMPA BAY (-3 1/2) vs. Seattle - Imagine the chances of a playoff bound team being underdogs against a team that is 4-11. Imagine what that tells you about the quality of this particular playoff team. These defending NFC champs have not lost four straight games since losing five in a row Oct. 2-29, 2000, when they were a member of the AFC West. If they were still in that group, they'd have been knocked out of playoff contention right around week 6. Pick: Bucs.

St. Louis (-2) vs. MINNESOTA - St. Louis is one of five NFC teams at 7-8 vying for the final wild-card spot. It must win and have the New York Giants, Carolina and Atlanta all lose or tie to avoid missing the playoffs for the second consecutive season. The Vikings on the other hand, have simply blooooown it yet again. In this crazy season, this is just where the Vikings make a suprising comeback to avoid a losing season at home for the first time since 1984. Pick: Vikings.

SAN DIEGO (-13 1/2) vs. Arizona - Will these Chargers EVER take a week off? We will have plenty of time to point out Marty Schottenheimer's miserable playoff history in the weeks to follow. San Diego can clinch the AFC's top seed with a victory over the Cardinals or if Baltimore loses to Buffalo at home earlier on Sunday. The Ravens beat the Chargers 16-13 on Oct. 1 and would hold the tiebreaker if the teams finished tied. With Matt Leinart out and Jesus Freak Kurt Warner at the controls, expect a return to mediocrity for this team who suddenly almost seemed to discover itself and save the Fat Man's job for another season. The Chargers have covered only one of their last five contests as a favorite of more than 10 points. Pick: Cardinals.

DENVER (-10 1/2) vs. San Francisco - There's still a prayer of avoiding a Shanahan Blinding Teeth playoff for the first time in the recollectable history but if the Broncos win or a tie, or Kansas City lose or tie, they're in thanks to last week's muffed extra point attempt in the snow by the Bengals. On the other hand, the Broncos have covered only two of their last 10 games as a favorite of more than 10 points and the 49ers will be looking to find some revenge for the season after getting knocked out last week by the Cardinals. Pick: 49ers.

CHICAGO (-3) vs. Green Bay - This game getting moved to Sunday Night means it won't be shown in the UK until 2007. I don't care how many people grumble about Brett Favre's face time in what yet again might be his last game ever. He's the most over-rated exciting QB since Kenny Stabler, in my book - another gutsy QB with no majestic beauty and plenty of bad history. I'll be rooting all the way for a big Packer upset and the playoffs but the Pack will need alot of crazy things to happen with a very unlikely combination of results around the league to make it happen and chances are, their fate will be decided before kickoff. Still, the headache-inducing possibilities remain their last and final hope to salvage a last hurrah for the Pack. We all know what kind of performance can be expected from the Bears, who are sleep walking into the playoffs but keep winning anyway. Pick: Da Bears.

Last week: A miraculous winning mark for the first time since very early in the season means that the season's record stands at 102-116-4 and these picks will have to be nearly perfect to achieve a .500 mark on picking games Sports Amnesia know nothing about.

That said, as a bonus to try and push the .500 mark, we will go out on a limb to give you next week's playoffs in advance and these will only count as victories if they are 100% correct:

Denver @ New England
Jets @ Indy
NY Giants @ Philly
Dallas @ Seattle