Where the Fuck Are You Now, Bruce Chen, Bruce Chen?

I know it's probably not important but I couldn't help but a small brain stutter when I read that he Blue Jays sent P Bruce Chen to the minors and wonder when and how he ever got Toronto-way to begin with. Then I started wondering how many teams he's been on lately, where has he wandered?

Panama City Bruce Chen has been with Atlanta, Philly, the Mets, Philly, Cincinnati, Montreal, Mets again, Boston, Houston, and now Toronto and now the minor leagues -- all in a mere five years of playing!!!

Settle down, Bruce. For crissakes. Your parents are looking for you.

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Next time I think I've found a cool baseball name, I'm going to remember that the Padres just sent down Tagg Bozied and I'm going to wait for him to make it back up to San Diego so he can be my favourite player after Florida's Hee Seop Choi, who we all hope has recovered from the nasty head injury he suffered at the hands of Kerry Wood against the Yankees last season after a particularly nasty and exciting collision.

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Bookmarks revealed: The Brushback, tops in absurdist sports news.

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Mets Update: The Mets' spring training complex was deserted yesterday except for a handful of minor-leaguers, a few front- office members and No. 1 starter Tom Glavine. An off day is not an off day if it happens to be your turn in the rotation, and Glavine suited up for an impromptu simulated game on the facility's only artificial turf field. He pitched six innings without incident and then could enjoy the rest of the afternoon, comfortable in the knowledge that he remains on track for Opening Day.

Lovely. How many runs will he surrender this opening day? A dozen? Half dozen?

Oh yeah, and whilst we're on about the crap rotation of the Mets, wunderkind Grant Roberts was rocked like a baby's cradle against the bloody Expos, my odds-on favourite to win the NL East this season.

And hey, if you like your Spring to be eternally hopeful, you can read about how the Human Hammy, Jose Reyes just might be back in time to injure himself again for Opening Day. Oh joy.

"But once he passes that exam, Reyes should be able to get back into the lineup, where he hopes to play his first game with shortstop Kazuo Matsui, unless the string of bad luck continues and Matsui reinjures his right middle finger."

Right. Unless Unless Unless.

Unless UnMets.

Aren't they supposed to wait until April before Futility Rears Its Ugly Head?