NFL PLAYOFFS
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time." - Steven Wright

(Due to technical & mouse difficulties, this article is being constructed via keyboard only, thus hyperlinks and the normal compliment of fancy, splashy graphics, due to degrees of difficulty such a mouse-less endeavor would entail, will be limited to zero and the content herein will have to rely upon its own clever, though outdated and dusty wit and pinpoint prognisticating accuracy in its stead. Sports Amnesia hopes to have these problems sorted out before the Pro Bowl but if not, at least by Opening Day of the Baseball season.)

Before we delve into the weekend's matchups a few oddities about the games themselves.

Rookies: Although they don't face each other until the Super Bowl, if at all, there are two prominent rookies in this weekend's matchups. Atlanta head coach Jim Mora and of course, Pittsburgh's undefeated rookie QB Ben Roethlisberger.

Week 2: In Week 2 of the season, two of these matchups were played out in the exact same venues as they will be played out this weekend. Minnesota was beaten at Philadelphia by a 27-16 margin and the Vikings lost 34-17 in Atlanta. These are not tea leaves nor are they harbingers of anyone's ultimate demise. They are merely facts.

No West Coast: Try as you might, you cannot find a west coast franchise left among the bunch of New York, New England, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, Atlanta, St Louis and Minnesota. The Red and Blue states however, are at a premium.

All PA, All The Time: For those of you still holding on to your ticket stubs, it is still possible that the Super Bowl could feature the only two teams from Pennsylvania. This is not a possibility for any of the other 49 states although it IS still possible that the Colts could face the Rams in the Super Bowl making it the first time a team from Missouri faced a team from Indiana in anything meaningful since probably the Civil War. If that doesn't send shivers and chills of excitement coursing through you like the flipped switch of an executioner's electric chair, you probably aren't really human anyway, despite what your parents told you.

Cowher Forever: There have been 89 head coaching changes in the NFL since Steeler's coach Bill Cowher was hired in 1992. That is an unfathonable record of consistency in a profession that allows few errors over the course of such short seasons. All by themselves, the Redskins and Danny Boy have accounted for about 80 of those head coaching changes and the Jets have accounted for 7, up to and including Bill Belichick's amazing one day and out HC of the NYJ legacy. In all those dozen-odd seasons since and all of those coaching changes to date, Cowher has yet to win a Super Bowl for his loyal owners.

Now, on to the games:

NY Jets @ Pittsburgh: (England starting time 9:30 pm) - In the way back machine, Jets coach Herm Edwards was once a teammate (1983) of Bill Cowher's on the Philadelphia Eagles. Interestingly enough, were it not for the Steelers, who defeated the Buffalo Bills in what for them was a meaningless game in the final week of the season, the Jets wouldn't even be here to begin with. The Steelers victory over the Bills allowed the Jets to back into a playoff spot, beat the Chargers and live to see these very same Steelers again. It's almost as though the hands of fate have pushed these two love birds together. It would be ironic if the very team they helped in to the playoffs is the very team that knocks the Steelers out of them.

However, standing in the way of that delicious irony is the fact that the Jets are 0-6 in Pittsburgh and 2-15 against Pittsburgh overall. Although under Roethlisberger, the Steelers are 13-0, without him they are 7-8 in the postseason under Cowher and were upset as the number one seed at home in the divisional round or championship game in '92, '94, '97 and 2001. Quite an impressive streak of coach-choke on the part of Cowher and not entirely unlike the record of the Jets' opposing coach last week, Marty Shoot-myself-in-the-foot-inheimer, whose questionable coaching last week helped the Jets advance in the first place.

The Steelers defeated the Jets in their matchup on December 12th, 17-6 in a game which was closer than the final score indicated.

Just like last week, my heart will be rooting for the Jets but the mind understands that the Steelers have too much going for them at this point in time to let the underdogs dog them this early in the postseason. Either way, this will be the most physical of all four of the matchups this weekend. The Jets won't go down easy.

Prediction:

Steelers 16, Jets 6.

St Louis Rams @ Atlanta: (England starting time 1 am this morning) -As noted, the Falcons won the first matchup of these two teams in Atlanta earlier this season. As an encore, the Falcons also led the NFL in rushing and as we all know by now, the old adage is that a good running game combined with a good run defence are what win Super Bowls. As a consolation prize to the Rams, the Falcon's defence was NOT ranked first in the NFL so perhaps they've dodged a bullet.

In addition, the Rams have won three road games in a row (2 in Seattle and 1 in San Francisco, whoopee!) and have won 3 in a row against playoff teams (Philly, NY Jets and Seattle).

Like the Eagles, because they clinched early, the Falcons have had the last several weeks off, even when they've played games, resting starters and concentrating more on resting starters than on winning. This has not always proven to be the best way of preparing for the postseason and building crucial momentum. When you have one team that hasn't had a tough game in a month and another team that has played three playoff-type games in a row, you'd have to think the intensity of playoff time will favour the team that isn't rusty, that isn't so rested as to be relaxed and seems to be cresting at the right moment.

If any team would appear to have a modicum of momentum this week it would be the Rams. They have overcome the adversity of being ridiculed for even qualifying for the playoffs in the first place with their gauche 8-8 record and they have walked back from the edge of oblivion and are still, through the twist of fate of having to face "only" the Seattle Seahawks to get this far, in the running for the Super Bowl.

In addition to these salient points, I like the oft-criticised Mike Martz despite himself. He appears to be Fassel-crazy. A desperate, crazy coach who will stoop to any gimmick or cheap trick in the book to help avoid going home early. He is 44-25 over the last 4 seasons and in a way, you have to wonder how a head coach with such a record of success is so mercilessly gutted so often in the media whilst someone like Dennis Erickson keeps landing heach coaching jobs.

At this point in the season, after months of sputtering, the Rams appear to be finding themselves both offensively and defensively. The indoor track surface of Atlanta's Confederacy Dome favours the Mike Martz-style offence rather than the ground it out slow-down of a top rushing team like the Falcons despite the unpredictable sizzle and swing of the swivel-hipped hipster Michael Vick. And let's not forget the Falcons' head coach is coaching his first playoff game ever.

In a post season that has already seen an unprecedented pair of victories by 8-8 teams, anything, it would seem, is possible.

Prediction:

Rams 30 Falcons 10

Minnesota @ Philadelphia: (England starting time a very reasonable 6 pm Sunday) - Quieting the ridiculous fine and controversy about Randy Moss' fake moon last week has proven to be difficult this week. Randy Moss acting like the team lightning rod is probably a good thing for the Vikings who are adept at choking once they realise the stakes. Moss' gimp ankle is probably not a good thing, but Randy Moss on one ankle is still better than most NFL receivers on two.

You can also point to the fact that the Eagles have lost three NFC Championships in a row and might now look at every playoff game until the Super Bowl with the expectation of eventual unfulfilled promise. Especially when they've had nothing else to think about for the last two months or so having wrapped up the NFC East so early in the season.

One glaring unknown for this game is that the Eagles have yet to prove to anyone that they are as good and as confident offensively as they were with Terrell Owens as they are without them. Since his injury they have played one meaningless game after another and they have done so resting their starters and without plugging in this new fangled Terrell-less offence. No one really knows what effect his loss will have on the first team in a game that matters. In fact, no one really knows whether the Eagles, after such a long layoff, are even ready to play.

As noted before, the Eagles defeated the Vikings in Week 2 by a 27-16 margin. However, that was when they still had Terrell Owens and in that game, Owens had two td catches. Without his 12 points, they'd have lost and frankly, they don't seem to have replaced him or those 12 points since.

It is often forgotten, in the tornado of controversy that is Randy Moss, that in many ways, these Vikings are the Indianapolis Colts of the NFC and Daunte Culpepper is the Peyton Manning of the NFC. They certainly both have the offensive weapons and the numbers to prove it. Even with a gimpy Moss, shutting them down completely will probably not be possible, much in the same way it will not be possible, barring self-destruction, for the Patriots to shut down Manning and the Colts this week.

However, unlike the Patriots' ramshackle secondary of the injured and out of position and the inexperienced, the Eagles' secondary boasts three healthy Pro Bowl starters.

The last time the Vikings came to Philly for a playoff game, the Eagles won 31-16 and went on to Super Bowl XV.

It's a shame Owens won't be here to match Moss, outrage for outrage because frankly, listening to the morally-outraged Joe Buck launch another hysterical diatribe would almost be as exciting as the game itself.

It's been 37 years since a team lost the last their last two games of the regular season and still won the Super Bowl. Something the Eagles, having been humiliated in the final two games of the regular season, should consider.

Prediction:

Philadelphia 31 Minnesota 24.

Indianapolis @ New England: (England starting time, 9:30 pm Sunday) We all should by now have come to know this game as Peyton's Manning rite of passage because if he doesn't win this game this time, some of us might start believing his gaudy stats and the hyperstrung hundred-weapon offence that spawned them, are just another hyperbolistic gush of smoke and fire with no real wizard, just a scared little man behind the curtain.

We all should know this by now because although the Patriots and Bill Belechick have always demonstrated they have Peyton's number, this time around, Peyton is a year wiser and the Patriot secondary is playing at about a quarter strength. The weakest link of the Patriots plays directly into the strength of Peyton Manning and the Colts. The excuses of being too young or too confused, or of being outsmarted by the NFL's resident genius will after this game, fall upon deaf ears if Peyton fails to defeat his primary nemesis in this phase.

Of course none of this really matters when you are facing a track record of failure like Peyton Manning is facing against New England. He is 0-6 against the Pats at Foxboro and has been humiliated by turnovers at every turn. Even in this number-studded season of history making, his Colts had three turnovers in the red zone in their earlier match in September although to their credit, they have had only 15 turnovers in the 16 games since.

Yes, the key to this game, like the key to every Colts meltdown against the Pats will be whether or not they can avoid the dreaded turnover. One of the reason the Pats have had so much success is that they do not turn the ball over, they wait for the opponents to do so.

And yes, the Colts offence is mind-boggling and yes, the Patriots secondary has been decimated by injuries and yes, the Patriots weakness is the Colts strength, etc. Yes, Peyton Manning is a year older and wiser. The Colts do not seem frightened by the possibility of facing the Patriots yet again as a roadblock to their aspirations nevertheless, they must have that doubt knocking at the back of their heads for all the failures against the Patriots before. That kind of doubt that will creep in louder and steadier when the first awkward moment of turnovers twists against them.

If they were to knock the Patriots back on their heels early, if they were to cause the Patriots rather than themselves, to cough the ball up a few times before the end of the first half, minute by minute, that doubt will fade away. The first fifteen minutes of this game will be the key to the last 45 minutes of the game. If the Colts can assert themselves without error in that period of time, they stand every chance of breaking the spell the Patriots have held over them and we'll have every chance of watching what might be the most exciting game of the postseason.

Prediction:

Colts 31, Patriots 30.