Franco My Eye! Get Us Some Relief!
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer." --Mark Twain

This one was like watching some B movie horror flick where every killing is choreographed and the birds scream too much and too shrilly...

I'd just gotten home from the gym, got online and lo and behold, just in time to listen to the internet broadcast of the Mets 1-1 tie against the Expos in the 8th, in comes the 800 year old Johnny Franco, Mr Trouble himself.

I even played a little game with myself while the beef and the Rendang sauce were cooking: could I run downstairs, check the pan and run back upstairs before Franco had blown the game?

The answer, sadly, was no.

Franco, who is 0-2 with a 16.92 ERA in five games on the homestand, bleeeeeew it again, this time by surrendering a tiebreaking, two-run homer to Tony Batista with two outs in the eighth inning and even more demoralising, blowing YET ANOTHER sterling performance by Tom Glavine.

Glavine twirled a seven-inning, one-run, five-hit gem all for naught yet again, as Franco proved yet again the only thing he is the set-up man is for the fall guy. Glavine must love pitching for the Mets. Despite a 2.60 ERA, since June 13, he has gone seven straight starts without a win, including yesterday's bullpen blow-up against the Expos at Shea Stadium. Since the one-hitter Glavine threw May 23 against Colorado, he's won once and lost five in a row for the first time as a professional ballplayer.

The Mets are now officially losing their grip on postseason reality, incapable of sustaining even the level of mediocrity required to remain in something as undemanding as the NL East race. On a homestand of all places, they are 3-5, which they conclude with a three game series against the Atlanta Braves.

Lost in all the hoopla even was Mr Future of the World, David Wright getting his first two hits in the majors.

I would mention who the starting pitchers for tonight's match against the Braves will be but really, what's the point? Unless the Mets starter has got a complete game shutout up his sleeve, things ain't looking so good.

By the way, the most interesting aspect of the David Wright-finally-getting-his-callup story is how he arrived in New York. The story goes that he flew to NYC on a prop plane so small that he had to switch seats to balance his weight.

*****

So, did you hear the one about Tagg Bozied? (which, incidentally, is one of the better baseball names in AAA)

After hitting a grand slam to win the game for his AAA Portland teammates, he jumped high to land on the homeplate, joining his mates in celebration, and ruptured the patellar tendon in his left knee in doing so. Now he needs surgery and will be out at least six months.

Hmmm.

"It was real scary," Bozied told The Associated Press. "I saw my kneecap pushed up into my quadriceps. I thought my career was over.

And just in time.

Tagg had been named the P.C.L.'s batter of the week, and he had driven in 13 runs in the five games since the Class AAA All-Star Game break. Despite missing six weeks with a hamstring injury, he had 16 homers and 58 runs batted in and was batting .315 with 29 strikeouts in 213 at-bats.

Hmmm. Let that be a lesson at home for all you kids out there. Never jump too hard on homeplate in celebration. The baseball gods will get you.

*****

Speaking of injuries, how funny is it that after months of moaning and indecision and a season's length of deliberation about how to play two second basemen at the same time, the Baltimore Orioles' Jerry Hairston and Brian Roberts, one playing in the outfield, one at second, BOTH get injured in the same inning.

Tells you a little something about how the Orioles' season is going so far.

It the Curse of Angelos, I'm telling you.

*****

Who is Deader, the Dead Sox or the Flubs?

A REALLY exciting baseball season would include both teams clawing back to make pennant races out of their respective divisions.

Otherwise, a chase for the wildcard just doesn't seem as appetising.

Whilst the Cubbies have blown their chances to kick the Cardinals down and their series against each other is over for the season, the Red Sox still have their chances and open against the Yankees tonight.