Charles Foster Kane: You know, Mr. Bernstein, if I hadn't been very rich, I might have been a really great man.
Thatcher: Don't you think you are?
Charles Foster Kane: I think I did pretty well under the circumstances.
Thatcher: What would you like to have been?
Charles Foster Kane: Everything you hate.
--Citizen Kane
Perhaps faster than the collapse of Communism in Eastern Europe, this year has seen the demise of the theory that every successful team needs a lights-out superstah to succeed, a quintessential master of his sport in order to win a championship. This theory has been replaced by parity, that elusive, somewhat socialist "everyone is equal" schmaltz that requires the watering down of greatness in the pursuit of leveling the field.
The concept of team replaces the concept of the individual. For example, just recently, the Greeks, without a single household name and no fame, won the Euro 2004. The Greeks had never won an international tournament MATCH let alone an entire tournament. How did they do it? Team work.
Just a few weeks prior, the Detroit Pistons, a workaday, everyman sort of blue collar team given no chance to dispatch the Lakers Dynamic Duo, did just that, dispatched the Lakers, humiliated them, made them wallow in futility and ineptitude. How did they do it? With superstars or with team work?
And just before that some team in Florida, that hockey mecca of the world, won the Stanley Cup without any of hockey's biggest names on their side.
This past January, the New England Patriots won the Super Bowl for the second time in three years. They didn't win it because they had the greatest QB or the greatest RB or the greatest WR. They won it because they were the best team, in every sense of the word. Oh yeah, and something like having the best coach in the NFL might have had a little to do with it as well.
In October, we saw the Florida Marlins defeat the Yankees in the World Series. On one end of the scale a kajillion dollar franchise loaded with superstars, on the other end of the scale, the er, Marlins.
So bear all this in mind as the MLB trade deadline nears, when the fans of teams like the Yankees and Red Sox think out loud in unison, oh good gawd, if only we could have Millionaire X, Superstar of the Planet pitching for our side, we'd have the World Series sewn up tighter than Joan Rivers' face. Having said that, everyone has their antenae up for:
Alain Soler, Imminent Saviour of Mets Rapidly Aging Starting Rotation
So, the Mets have signed their very own Cuban defector Alain Soler (aka Alay Soler) and trumpet the possibilities of a bull-like pitcher blasting his way through the Met subconscious like a machete through a rice paper wall, a guy only a few teams, and none of the big bidders wanted. According to On Deck Baseball Prospects:
"the 6-foot-3, 230-pound right-hander led the Cuban League in ERA (2.04) last year, going 10-4 with 102 Ks in 125 innings. "El Toro" attacks hitters with a lively, low-90s fastball that can hit the mid-90s."
Why, this must be the Cuban Roger Clemens, isn't it? Exhaustive searching found these 2002Cuban League Stats which show Soler appeared in 18 games for Pinar del Rio, started 6, went 7-0 with a 3.72 ERA, walked 18 and struck out 47 in 55 2/3 innings. In case you were wondering where the interest was for him in the pitching-famished world that is MLB, the rumour is that the big fish were scared off by what a crap pitcher Jose Contreras has proven to be after all the hype, after a bidding war which resulted in the Yankees being dubbed The Evil Empire and no one wants to take a chance to repeat the mistake.
Well, kiddies, it does appear by examining these stats that Soler's teammate on Pinar del Rio was none other than, you guessed it, Jose Contreras, who defected right after that season in which he went 13-4 with a 1.76 ERA. In case you'd forgotten that story of lost potential and perhaps before Mets fans start hyperventilating into paper bags at the thought of Kazmir and Soler in the same rotation, here is what was said about Contreras when he made for greener pastures:
"A 6-foot-4, 224-pound righthander with a 93 mph fastball and a darting forkball, Contreras is best known in the U.S. for the eight shutout innings he pitched against the Orioles during a nationally televised exhibition game in Havana three years ago. In that game, Contreras allowed just two hits and struck out 10, including Albert Belle twice."
By the way, Scott Kazmir has been bumped up to AA Binghamton and gets his first start tonight against Bowie. Who says this isn't a wonderful world? From my little cottage in the middle of nowhere, at midnight, I'll be able to listen to this game via their cybercast.
There is no big secret to the Mets recent success.
The Human Hammy has hit in eight straight games after last night's stimulating victory over the Marlins, but is still hitting only .195 for the season and .275 during the streak. Good gawd, can you imagine what it must be like to try and play Major League Baseball when all you can think of is as that hitting streak continues, those hammies become like a rubberband being slowly pulled further and further apart until finally there is the telltale snaaaaaap! Wow, if you think Piazza's All Star Clemens flashback is running him down, just imagine being Jose Reyes trying to hold back the inevitable tragedy.
Over the last seven games, the Mets are hitting .313 as a team with 16 homers and having outscored opponents by a 50-29 margin.
The Kaz Man has hit in nine straight games (.517 over last seven games) if you are keeping count. Mike Cameron, in addition to keeping a big patrol of centerfield is hitting .462 with 4 homers and 6 RBIs, Ty Wigginton with the Almighty Wright breathing down his neck is hitting .379-5-9 over the last week and Houston Reject, Richard Hildalgo, is .346-3-6.
The common denominator of this sudden heady success is of course, the fact that Mike Piazza had plummeted to depths worthy of a selfish catcher who puts himself over the interests of the team and is hitting .130 with 0 homers and 2 skinny ribbies over that same period.
They "say" that Mike Piazza is tired and was "rested" last night. C'mon, for crissakes. Tired? Already? I think he's just scared. This alleged fatigue, even though he's playing first instead of crouching behind the plate and three-hopping throws to second base, is probably more a sign of some deep psychological terror at the idea of his big date with Roger Clemens. Speaking of which:
Allstar Unmentionables
According to Brushback, "In an attempt to further ruin the mid-summer classic, Major League Baseball has announced that the winner of the All-Star Game will be determined by fan voting."
STAT HIGHLIGHTS
FIRST BASE
VS.
As for Thomas, he's 36 now and has 436 home runs. And he's going to reach 500 eventually. Jason Giambi with his intestinal parasites infecting his steroid-riddled, injury-prone physique, has 280 homers at 33 and will be lucky to hit 350 before finally fading into obscurity. Not that 500 homers is such a magic number for Hall of Fame induction anymore because of players like Fred McGriff, who is hopefully running out of time.
In his first 25 games since rejoining the Rays on May 28, McGriff hasn't been very hot, hitting .188 (13-for-69) while driving in seven runs and hitting two homers, giving him 493 for his career. At this rate, even Jeff Bagwell at 430, has a better chance than McGriff to hit 500. In fact, if anyone can inch along to 500 homers more excruciatingly than the Crime Dog has, please let me know. It's too fascinating to ignore. Like watching stalagtites form.
If you're like me, terribly behind the times and a little late working up a rabid enthusiasm for Win Shares numbers, you still rely on simple things, like HR, BA, RBI, OBA, etc. But, If Win Shares Were the Most Important Stat in Baseball, here would be the starting lineup for the NL and AL:
AL
1B-Travis Hafter, Cleve (5) .303-09-55
2B-Ro Belliard, Cleve (3) .309-05-37
SS-M Young, TX (7) .335-12-52
3B-A-Rod, NYY (7) .271-21-56
OF-V. Guerrero, Ana(8) .343-20-76
OF-M Ramirez, Bsn (7) .338-24-72
OF-G. Sheffield, NYY (6) .295-15-57
C-I. Rodriguez, Det(8) .370-11-58
SP-M. Mulder, Oak (7) 11-2 2.95
NL
1B-S Casey, Cin (12) .352-15-54
2B-M Loretta, SD (7) .317-07-35
SS-J Wilson, Pitt (6) .339-08-35
3B-S Rolen, StL (14) .346-18-80
OF-B Bonds, SF (20) .362-23-48
OF-B Abreu, Phi (13) .304-18-60
OF-A Dunn, Cin (8) .260-25-53
C-J Estrada, Atl (7) .340-04-47
SP-R Clemens, Hou (7) 10-2 2.54
*****
Good Bye Sister Disco
Goodbye Sister Disco
My dancin's left you behind
Goodbye now you're solo
Black plastic deaf dumb and blind
-Pete Townshend, the Who
A nice tribute by the Trib's Paul Sullivan, participant in the on-field carnage of disco demolition night, as we near it's 25th anniversary on Monday:
"One of my friends went out to center field, where a particularly rowdy group of fans commandeered the batting cage and set it on fire so everybody could leap through it. (Kids, don't do this at home.)
I hung around the infield area, where people were running the bases, being waved home wildly by a mullet-headed yahoo standing in the third-base coach's box with a beer in his hand. Another half-inebriated would-be umpire called fans safe or out at the plate, depending on the stylishness of their slide. I don't remember if I was safe or out, but I did go headfirst."
A Place For the Red Sox Nation To Cry
I've always believed Yankees fans were the most obnoxiously hysterical fans in the world but over the last two weeks, I've read some pretty wretched wailing about the state of the Red Sox. Well, psssst, hey Red Sox fans, have I found the place for you!
It's The Good Mood Cry Cafe in Nanjing, China, which is a bar advertised for the broken hearted. Bar tenders play sad music, and there are dolls available for customers to throw around or beat to vent their anger of a broken relationship. Tissues and menthol drops are also provided. For the privilege of crying in your beer, you are charged about $8.45 an hour, on top of the charge for drinks.
"'Men in today's fast-paced society come under tremendous pressures but if they were to cry when they are down, they would be seen as good-for-nothing, worthless wretches." says the cafe's owner, Mr Luo Jun. So would our dear Red Sox fans, Mr Jun.
Is the Glass Half-Empty or Half-Full?
This week saw an unusual three game shutout by the Minnesota Twins over the KC Royals, a classic case of either the Royals batting lineup limping along at AA level or gak, an impermeable Twins' pitching staff. Just listen, after perennial Cy Young candidate Kyle Lohse, he with the 3-6 record and 4.71 ERA, shut down the Kansas City Royals team Wednesday night in a 12-0 victory, it gave the Twins three consecutive complete-game shutouts for the first time in the 44-year history of the franchise.
Lohse also beat Kansas City for the third time this season, the only team he's beaten. This came on the heels of Monday, when righthander Brad Radke twirled a four-hitter at the Royals in a 9-0 victory. and Tuesday, when lefthander Johan Santana struck out 13 in a 4-0 victory. The Baltimore Orioles were the last major league club with three consecutive complete-game shutouts, when Mike Mussina, Scott Erickson and Kevin Brown did it in September 1995.
But we know it isn't the Twins pitching staff half full, ranked as it is, 12th in the Major Leagues with a collective 4.18 ERA, so perhaps it is the Royals batting order, half empty. Think about it: Carlos Beltran has been traded. Mike Sweeney, Juan Gonzalez, Joe Randa and Jeremy Affeldt are injured. The Royals have set a major league record by using 48 players before the All-Star break. The major league season record is 57. Then again, this is no mere coincidence. The Royals rank 28th out of 30 in runs scored this season.
Everybody's Doin' The Streak
"He ain't crude, look at that, look at that
He ain't lewd, look at that, look at that
He's just in the mood to run in the nude"
--Ray Stevens, The Streak
The Tampa Bay Devil Rays engineered a 12 game winning streak. The Pittsburgh Pirates manufactured a 10 game winning streak. The Texas Rangers conceived an 8 game winning streak. The Oakland A's built an 8 game winning streak. Hey, even the Milwaukee Brewers have had a 5 game winning streak.
And of course, even Taiwan knows about The Longest Streak Nobody Cares About coming to a merciful end. Jason Stark mused over the what ifs of the streak:
"What if two clubs that have had been through multiple closers (Toronto and
Cleveland), we subtracted all blown ninth-inning saves. So how would that have changed the standings heading into games of Tuesday? Here's how:
The A's (10 blown saves by Arthur Rhodes and Octavio Dotel) would have
the best record in baseball (56-24).
The Reds (seven blown saves from Danny Graves) would be 20 games over
.500 instead of six over.
The Phillies (with a combined six blown saves by Billy Wagner and Tim
Worrell) would lead the NL East by seven games instead of three.
The Angels (eight blown saves by Frankie Rodriguez and Troy Percival)
would be 19 games over .500 instead of three over.
The Indians (with six blown ninth-inning saves) would be tied with the
Twins instead of five games behind -- although both of them would trail
the White Sox by a game and a half.
The Cubs (six blown saves by Joe Borowski and LaTroy Hawkins) would have
as many wins as the Yankees.
And the Blue Jays (six blown ninth-inning saves) would be at .500
instead of 10 games under."
And speaking of streaks, just in case you were wondering, in 2003 Weezy Jefferson managed to cobble together 5 consecutive episodes of The Hollywood Squares with her co star Sherman Hemsley of The Jeffersons. Imagine that tv viewing gala ladies and gennelmen. Cheers to Michael Dowd for helping me sort my way through that bit of arcania.
The New Fat Sid?
via Mets Blog, the eternal question is answered:
Is Yusmeiro Petit for real?
Jonathan Mayo, MLB.com minor league expert, from his radio program at MLB.com
He’s for real as much as any guy in A ball can be for real. The thing is, with his strike out totals is, he is not a power pitcher. He is actually being compared to Sid Fernandez. Not in his ability to clear off a buffet table in one single bound, but in the way he throws the ball in that he has a deceptive delivery.
The thing about Sid Fernandez is that he didn’t throw that hard. He had that slingshot thing that made it difficult for batters to pick up the ball, which made his fastball look harder, which then made his off-speed stuff that much more effective. Petit is the same kind of guy - he is able to fool lots of people.
Of course, he is fooling people at the South Atlantic league and the Florida State league so far. We’ll see how that plays. He does throw several pitches, so I’d be less of a believer if he was the kind of guy that just reared back and threw 98-mph. But, he has an idea about pitching, and I think that truly helps a guy like Petit.
As I say, there is no such thing as a pitching prospect, as so much can go wrong. But, Petit has those secondary pitches already. So, I’ll give you a qualified, ‘Yes, I think he’s for real’, but let’s wait and see what happens.
"Sometimes you wonder how much is true and how much is false," manager Larry Bowa said of rumours about pitching trades, via Ben Maller
Blog Watch
It isn't often you can say you've discovered the truly bizarro in baseball blogs but without a doubt, The Uncouth Sloth has the bases covered:
Top Ten List of Things That Are Larger Than the Cubs Lineup
From the home office in Sault Ste. Marie, Quebec, Canada...ancestral home of all queer-assed left wing liberals everywhere...here is the Top 10 list of things that come up bigger than the Cubs lineup:
10) Amish family's monthly ComEd bill
9) Oprah Winfrey's facial hair
8) Kady Clemens' IQ (Kady being the first-born of Rocket Rog)
7) Roomful of priests watching lesbian porn
6) Michael Jackson's street cred
5) Steve Swisher's career VORP
4) Mary Kate Olson's bench press
3) Total box office for "This Old Cub" by people whose last name ends in a consonant
2) John Kruk's sperm count
And...the Number One thing bigger than the Cubs offense is:
1) Chip Caray's cock, measured in inches
*****
On the other hand, you've got The Love Songs of Larry Bowa, a riveting blog devoted the thoughts and poetry of Phillies manager.
*****
For those of you who have not experienced the great rollercoaster ride that is The Soxaholix, do so at your own peril, for it is hours of unrelenting fun>
"You mean when Johnny Damon runs … Run, Johnny, Run. See Johnny run quick as a swift brown fox … and by fox I mean fox like a man, like fur zippersbeercans and the sweet hair of groaning … I want to make Johnny babies, be Magdalene to his Jesus …'"
(sort of reminds me of a lighter and more apolitical version of Get Your War On.
*****
Gratuitous Superstar of Sexy Contest
Because we at Sports Amnesia always aim to please and due to the inundation of requests for a little less gravitas and little more T&A from the teeny bopper flocks who patrol this otherwise sterile and recalcitrant blog, allow me to present the inaugural Gratuitous Superstar of Sexy Contest. This edition's random contestants are:
1. Maria Sharapova (duh)
2. Liv Tyler
3. Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright
4. Carmen Electra
5. Lisa
Vote often and vote hard.
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