NL EAST

Not by any means a preview, but as this is the division the team I support, the intention is to follow the news therein more closely.

GNATS; Troubles Troubles

Today, a brief focus first on the GNATS finds the same headaches and question marks about prospect Elijah Dukes, to whit:

Asked on Wednesday how much of a distraction his off-field issues were this winter, Dukes replied: "All right, I'm done. That's it. You ruined it." He then walked away from the group of reporters interviewing him.

Those kinds of interactions with media members are just one reason some members of the Nationals organization question whether Dukes has grown enough in his year-plus with the club.

The franchise's front office has gone to great lengths to keep Dukes insulated from the public. A member of the public relations staff is required to arrange all interviews with Dukes. (Reporters are free to approach any other player on the roster on their own.)

Bigger than any news about the coming season is the bizarre story about prospect Esmailyn Gonzalez, aka Carlos Alvarez, who is being investigated for "deliberate, premeditated fraud".

"...creating a false identity to secure a $1.4 million signing bonus three years ago.

That player, who has been going by the name Esmailyn Gonzalez and was thought to be 19, has been discovered to be 23-year-old Carlos Daniel Alvarez"

What makes matters even more strange is that you get the impression in reading the article that Gnats team president Stan Kasten even believes Nationals general manager Jim Bowden and special assistant Jose Rijo's names are linked. Just imagine, your own GM, defrauding the team!

*****

On the Phillies, they're kicking it World Champion style and appear simultaneously bemused and annoyed by the ongoing verbal wars with the Mets.

Cole Hamels backed off of his winter choking dog comments about the Mets, either because his swollen head has returned to its normal size or his teammates have told him to shut the fuck up or he's started to get scared about having to start a game at Citi Field.

"I didn't know what I said when it happened," Hamels said. "I really didn't. I have to stick by what I said and it's something where truly I like to do most of my talking out on the field. I'm not the type of guy that needs to look for attention in the offseason."

No, he doesn't need to look for attention, his bimbo wife is like a black hole sucking in all the attention around her.

“We’re in the process of adopting an AIDS orphan from Ethiopia,” she said. “Maybe two. I’m so pumped. I’d adopt six if I could. When I was five years old — I grew up in a very rural town in Missouri, and I had never even seen a black person — they asked us to draw a picture of ourselves in the future, and I drew myself holding hands with a line of tiny black stick figures. I’ve always wanted this.”

this photoshop (or is it?) has it down right. (thanks,Mr Irrelevant)

Mrs Hamels' bimbo-class comments reminded me of the good auld days when we still had Anna Benson to kick around:

"I have toe trouble from my strip-dancing days. But I don’t want any more bungled surgery. I don’t want them to touch me. I did only one cosmetic-surgery thing: I had breast implants. After having three kids, I felt I deserved it. Kris doesn’t want me to have plastic surgery on my face. He says, ‘Don’t let them do any of that crap to you; you’re too pretty."

Whatever happened to Anna Benson anyway?

*****



Now, this doesn't necessarily rate as Phillies or NL East news but a sound golf clap to Frank Fitzpatrick for this article envisioning Babe Ruth having to endure an A-Hole-like press conference

..."For all that stuff, I apologize to the kids out there who dream of growing up to be pot-bellied womanizers with tiny feet. I'd also like to say I'm sorry to my teammates, especially those whose wives I shacked up with, those who sustained injuries in my DUI incidents, and those I urinated on."

*****

Damning words about the Braves chances coming from their own columnists who figures that these measly Braves, who were spurned by two players this off season (but did manage to sign what should have been Mets pitcher Derek Lowe)

But what is the one thing missing in Griffey’s career? A World Series. What is the No. 1 goal of any great player who is at the end of his career and is without a championship? Winning that championship.

The story is not that Griffey didn’t sign with the Braves. The story is that he signed with another team that, sentimentality aside, actually lost 11 more games than the Braves. He didn’t base his decision on a phone call from Willie Mays or a newspaper story that may or may not have angered him. He based it on the fact that there was no overwhelming reason to come here.

This is spring. It’s the time of optimism. But if Griffey really believed that the Braves were as close to competing for a championship as maybe they do - or maybe you do - he would have signed with them.

And indeed, even the one coup is punctuated by the question: Why do you think the Braves had to give Derek Lowe four years and $60 million when the only other known offer was for three years and $36 million?

Well done. A Mets fan couldn't have pointed this out better.

*****

As for the Marlins, well having a little trouble finding much out about them these days. Can't imagine its a lack of interest?

Apparently Josh Johnson is befuddling his teammates already (don't blow out the arm before Spring Training is over, superstah...)

and the comparisons are natural considering both will likely be moved from their leadoff spots (at least temporarily) but how do you rate Jose Reyes against Hanley Ramirez?:

The two are now quite different players because of Ramirez's power. The Marlins' shortstop has hit 79 home runs in the past three seasons, 32 more than Reyes. Despite the 33 home runs Ramirez hit last season, he collected merely 67 RBIs, hardly an extraordinary total even for a leadoff man. Reyes' triples and stolen bases are important. But runs win games and home runs produce runs, and Ramirez scored 12 more runs, a modest slight advantage in a 162-game season, but an advantage nonetheless.

As is defence, matey. Of course, Ramirez doesn't really get the opportunity to turn in two consecutive choking dog performances in September like Reyes did...