Memory Lane
If any granule of consolation can be found in the piteous, limping start out of the gates for the Mess it might be the 30 year old memory of the 1973 Mets. Failing that, the daily narrowing of hope into a spiritual myopia will become inescapable, the losses will mount a progressive, fatal disease and the ride home on the #7 train from Shea will become an exercise in reflective misery.
The current issue of the Mess is a team unable to emerge from the psychic depths in which they writhe, springing more holes than Melville's Pequod, sinking fast, from Roger Cedeno's tumultuous, spasmatic fielding in center field, to Mike Piazza's two hop throws to second base, either 10 feet wide to the left or to the right, to Armando Benitez's emotionally fragmented disasters from the bullpen.
The $120 million payroll has resulted in an 8-12 record so far, four games behind the Expos from first place. For all the hand-wringing, it isn't implausible that the Mess might right themselves in time and with no NL East team assuming a commanding role in the division yet, whatever early season wallowing they appear to have hitched themselves to, it doesn't spell an insurmountable burden. They are fortunate in fact. If they were in the AL East, they'd already be 9 games behind the Yankees.
The 1973 Mets were in last place in the six-team National League East, 11 1/2 games behind the St. Louis Cardinals on August 5th. For the current Mess, this would spur a pale, caustic finish with rampant speculations on what sort of disasters Steve Phillips could add to his growing list of failures before he was finally shoved out of Gotham and back to baseball obscurity where he belongs.
But the 1973 Mets, the "Ya Gotta Believe" team rallied, winning 29 of its final 43 games and fortunately for them, no team ran away with the division. Yogi Berra's club rallied from last place by going 18-14 in August, 19-8 in September and 1-0 in October to win the division title on the last day of the season. They finished with an 82-79 record, 1 1/2 games ahead of the Cardinals.
82 victories is not going bring a division title in the NL East this season.
Moreover, for the Mess, 82 victories at this point would require a Herculean transformation from sad sacks to believers which, to date, they have given no indication they are capable of. In the first 20 games of the season the Mess have shown a greater inclination toward mediocrity than mastery. While they flounder on the field, they have become artful in their ability to emit half-hearted enthusiasms for the potential of the future. They are well-versed in the pollyanish double-speak of those who understand the futility of their destiny. But the desperation is beginning to taste like a familiar meal. Stale, cold leftovers from the season before; the same unheated lack of clutch hits, the rubbery gristle of shoddy fielding, and the unpalatable breakdown in simple fundamentals.
In short, the "ya gotta believe" slogan of the 1973 Mets is translated by the current Mess into something along the lines of "what kind of fool am I?". There are no miracles on the horizon. Only the painful, daily gashes of reality poking through the thin flesh of hope.
The '73 Mets had NL Cy Young Award winner Tom Seaver anchoring the rotation with a 19-10 record and a league-leading 2.08 ERA and 251 strikeouts in 36 starts. The Mess have a competent duo in Glavine and Leiter. But the '73 Mets also had Jerry Koosman (14-15, 2.84), Jon Matlack (14-16, 3.20), George Stone (12-3, 2.80). The Mess have nothing better than question marks to round out their rotation. Tug McGraw, much like Armando might hope to emulate, struggled as a closer in the first half of the '73 season but finished strong and was an integral part of their reformation.
The '73 Mets weren't fast. Their leading base stealer was third baseman Wayne Garrett, who stole six bases all season. The Mess have six stolen bases to date, half of those coming from Cedeno, whose enemic hitting and ghoulish play in the field has resulted in an off and on benching.
Second baseman Felix Millan, who was acquired in the offseason from the Atlanta Braves, led the '73 Mets with a .290 batting average, 82 runs and 185 hits. Outfielder Rusty Staub topped the Mets with 76 RBIs and first baseman John Milner was the team leader with 23 homers.
It's impossible to see where the Mess will begin to show some life at the plate. Their power is sporadic and unpredictable. They add another link in the chain of weak hitters infecting the lineup every night. Piazza is beginning to appear as though he's woken up out of his early slumber but beyond him, their two best power hitters are Burnitz, now injured, and Tony Clark, making a mark as a pinch hitter but proving otherwise unworthy of daily appearances in replace of Fat Mo.
The first thing the Mess should do at this point is bring up the phenom, Jose Reyes. People pissed and moaned about his lack of pitch selection in Spring Training, but the current shortstop, Rey Sanchez, is suffocating at the plate with a .129 batting average. Surely Reyes can do better than .129 and even if he can't, he brings flash and speed and the kind of youthful enthusiam that the currently moribund Mess sorely lack.
The next thing to do would be to put the best defensive team out on the field as possible. The current defensive liabilities are not hitting well enough to justify their presence in the lineup not to mention the dread the pitching staff feels every time a ball is hit. While the Mess aren't hitting, at least they can put guys out on the field who can keep the score close by not artificially inflating every deficit with each subsequent bonehead fielding debacle. It's no fun wincing when a fly ball is hit to center field. Cedeno should be relegated to a pinch-runner's role.
As for Armando, the diaphanous Dominican with the delicate emotions, there isn't much to hope for. You might be able to trick him into believing he is merely suffering from a slight mechanical breakdown which he can work through in a role other than closer while auditioning the rest of the bullpen to replace him. There are jackals lusting for the return of John Franco, the 42 year old former closer coming off of Tommy John surgery who thinks he'll be ready in a month. Why not cast your pennies of hope over your back into the Trevi fountain, or rub magic bottles and hope the mythical genie of closers pops out of one of them? If Armando doesn't recover, the bullpen is shot and the season will morph into a sad series of failed, unhappy endings.
It may turn out that memory lane will be the only lane Mess fans can rely on if they want to sniff the saga of success.
*****
I'll be leaving tomorrow for a two week celebration in Holland devoid of NFL draft coverage, the misery of the Mess, the NHL and NBA playoffs. It will be a nearly unbearable void but hopefully, I'll stumble through it somehow. By the time I return, I fully expect a Mess team firmly in first place, the Jets to have landed Andre Johnson in a blockbuster draft day trade, Milwaukee to have eliminated the Nets, and the New Jersey Devils beating on the Flyers in the Eastern Conference finals. If none of it happens, I'll settle for a cold beer and a hot massage.
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Thursday, April 17, 2003
Attack of The Killer Drunks
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. -- Confucius
Although it pales in comparison to the Attack of the 50 Foot Chicken, the attack on umpire Laz Diaz by Eric Dybas of Bolingbrook two nights ago was the apogee of the increasing problem of not only keeping fans off of the baseball field, but of preventing them from attacking players, coaches and umpires when they get there.
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. -- Confucius
Although it pales in comparison to the Attack of the 50 Foot Chicken, the attack on umpire Laz Diaz by Eric Dybas of Bolingbrook two nights ago was the apogee of the increasing problem of not only keeping fans off of the baseball field, but of preventing them from attacking players, coaches and umpires when they get there.
Monday, April 14, 2003
Meet The Mess
"The future ain't what it used to be." --Yogi Berra
The optimists are hanging on by their fingernails. One by one, the rational mind can no longer rationalize the possibilities of World Championships, inching into wildcard berths or even a .500 season. The rational mind must begin to realize that this fiasco of a baseball team should, in all truth and clarity, be renamed. Ladies and gentlemen, meet your 2003 New York Mess.
"The future ain't what it used to be." --Yogi Berra
The optimists are hanging on by their fingernails. One by one, the rational mind can no longer rationalize the possibilities of World Championships, inching into wildcard berths or even a .500 season. The rational mind must begin to realize that this fiasco of a baseball team should, in all truth and clarity, be renamed. Ladies and gentlemen, meet your 2003 New York Mess.
Thursday, April 10, 2003
So Drop Dead Already
"If I drop dead right now, our position will not change on this issue," Hootie Johnson, Chairman of Augusta National, on the eve of a Masters.
I'll admit right off the bat, other than the existence of Elin Nordegren, the Swedish model girlfriend of Tiger Woods and the fact that it can be as frustrating to play as it is boring to watch, I don't know hoot about golf and don't usually care to. However, the shrill media coverage about the lack of female members at Augusta has finally caught my attention.
"If I drop dead right now, our position will not change on this issue," Hootie Johnson, Chairman of Augusta National, on the eve of a Masters.
I'll admit right off the bat, other than the existence of Elin Nordegren, the Swedish model girlfriend of Tiger Woods and the fact that it can be as frustrating to play as it is boring to watch, I don't know hoot about golf and don't usually care to. However, the shrill media coverage about the lack of female members at Augusta has finally caught my attention.
Monday, April 07, 2003
Armando The Awful
Wow, was this the pennant race already? I must have overslept. This sounds like a September, or maybe an October story: Mets have a 5-4 lead, three outs away from victory. Armando Benitez comes waddling in from the bullpen to seal the victory and instead, we get a loss and enough drama to fill a few Greek plays.
The farcical meltdown began well into the third batter of the inning, Vladimir Guerrero. Benitez had already started the inning off by ceding a single to a Mets castoff, Endy Chavez. Jose Vidro is miraculously retired and then came Guerrero. On the second pitch, Guerrero took a savage swing and missed but the savage swing itself was some sort of derailing challenge of manhood to Armando who then proceeded to walk Guerrero to put men on first and second as the boos began to filter through Shea with Jeff Liefer, a lifetime .250 hitter coming to the plate.
Armando quickly falls behind in the count, 2 balls and no strikes. His command was not sharp. He bounced several splitters and sliders and was up and in a bit with the fastball but finally, he manages to get the count full. By now, everyone on planet Earth knows what is coming next, even Liefer, facing Benitez for the first time:
"It was a fastball," Liefer said. "I was looking for a fastball the whole at-bat. That's his best pitch that he can throw for a strike. I was just trying to layoff his other stuff that's tough to lay off a lot of times. Once I got to 3-2, I knew he was coming with a fast ball and I put good wood on it."
"He hit my best pitch," Benitez said of the 97-mph fastball, to Liefer. "I'm behind in the count, I have to come and throw a strike."
We could flash back to the blown Game 6 of the 1999 NLCS against the Braves. Or perhaps the 2000 Subway Series, his walk of Paul O'Neill that blew Game One. J.T. Snow's home run in the first game of the NLDS in 2000. Pat Burrell, on three different occasions. The horrific blown leads against the Braves, twice down the stretch in 2001 that cost the Mets a playoff spot. The list goes on and on and while Armando has compiled the best save percentage (90.7) of anyone in baseball during the previous three years, there is a hideous disclaimer and that is Armando can't get them out when it counts.
That's why I thought I'd fallen asleep and woken up in the middle of the pennant race because this is evidence of the vintage Armando choke hold on himself that he can't seem to break when the games really count.
And frankly, it isn't such an unforgiveable deed so early in the season. After all, he'd saved the two games prior to this one. But then in true Armando style, he made matters worse by whining like Joy Behar on a bad hair day:
"What bothers me is I save two days in a row and I sit down by my locker and nobody comes to me, nobody talks to me," Benitez sniffles. "Sometimes we have to be fair and see that what I'm doing is sometimes good. It's not fair."
Listening to Armando whimper: the unloved Armando, the underappreciated Armando, the menstruating and irritated Armando, one begins to understand the root of his problems, the cause of his frequent bouts of choking, his inability to do the job when it counts. He simply doesn't understand the nature of his job as a closer.
John Franco, the Met vet who has saved 422 games in his career and knows a thing or two about what it's like to be a closer, likened being a closer to "being like a field goal kicker. You
make 12, 13 in a row, then you miss one and that is the one people want to know about."
And he's right. Some people can handle the pressure, understand the reality of being ignored except when you fail. It isn't fair. But the position calls for the ability to let that patent unfairness roll off your back. Armando can't because he doesn't have the emotional stoicism to handle it. And that's why when the game is on the line and the game actually counts, Armando has a well documented history of failing. He tightens up, he gets wild, and then he tries to overcompensate with his fastball that all the world knows is coming.
I said it all winter and I said it over and over again this spring: Armando should be traded before it begins to finally sink in throughout the rest of the league that he is damaged goods, a man who can't handle the pressure of a high-stakes game and come out the winner more times than not.
*****
The Detroit Tigers became the first team in 40 years to start 0-6 in consecutive seasons, finally relieving the NY Mets of '62 and '63 of that humiliation. After last season's embarassing 0-11 start, the Tigers have begun this sesaon by getting outscored 36-6 so far. It begs the question as to whether or not they should switch places with their Triple A Toledo Mudhens farm club who are 2-2 so far this season.
One week into the season, which is more surprising:
1. The disasterous start of Greg Maddux, who is already 0-2 with a 11.00 ERA.
2. The unforeseen 5-0 start of the Kansas City Royals out of the gate, the first ever to do so after a 100 loss sesaon.
3. Shea Hillenbrand going from the trading block to knocking in 15 runs in the first 7 games of the season.
4. The 5-1 start of the Pittsburgh Pirates.
5. Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling winless after both having pitched two games.
One week into the season, which is least surprising:
1. Junior going down to injury.
2. The Detroit Tigers 0-5 start and already 5 1/2 games out of first place.
3. Jose Hernandez has struck out 9 times in his first 22 at-bats putting him on pace for a record-shattering 243 strikeouts for the season.
4. Opening week attendance down nearly 10% following a week of inclimate weather.
5. Jeter going down to injury only to replaced by a guy who is hitting .412 in his absence.
*****
There's an interesting game on the Major League Baseball website called Beat The Streak wherein you pick one guy each day to get a hit and if he gets a hit, your streak continues. The first person to break DiMaggio's 56 game hitting streak gets seasons tickets for the team of his choice. If somehow you get a 100 game hitting streak, you get four tickets to EVERY game of the World Series.
*****
NCAA MEN'S BASKETBALL FINAL:
The main thing I want to say about the NCAA Men's Basketball Final is why the hell is it starting so early? 9:00 at night? Why don't they just start it at midnight so the 8 people in Hawaii who want to watch it will be home from work in time?
Finally, The Prediction, since I'm soooo close to the top of my SI.com hoops bracket challenge in 88,306th place:
In five games during the NCAA Tournament, Syracuse has beaten Texas, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State, the teams that finished second, third and fourth, respectively, in the Big 12. In January, the Orangemen beat Missouri, the fifth-place team in the conference. Only Kansas remains for the Orange to become Big 12 Champions.
Since I don't want to have to root against the team I like better, the pick is
Syracuse 86 Kansas 79
Wow, was this the pennant race already? I must have overslept. This sounds like a September, or maybe an October story: Mets have a 5-4 lead, three outs away from victory. Armando Benitez comes waddling in from the bullpen to seal the victory and instead, we get a loss and enough drama to fill a few Greek plays.
The farcical meltdown began well into the third batter of the inning, Vladimir Guerrero. Benitez had already started the inning off by ceding a single to a Mets castoff, Endy Chavez. Jose Vidro is miraculously retired and then came Guerrero. On the second pitch, Guerrero took a savage swing and missed but the savage swing itself was some sort of derailing challenge of manhood to Armando who then proceeded to walk Guerrero to put men on first and second as the boos began to filter through Shea with Jeff Liefer, a lifetime .250 hitter coming to the plate.
Armando quickly falls behind in the count, 2 balls and no strikes. His command was not sharp. He bounced several splitters and sliders and was up and in a bit with the fastball but finally, he manages to get the count full. By now, everyone on planet Earth knows what is coming next, even Liefer, facing Benitez for the first time:
"It was a fastball," Liefer said. "I was looking for a fastball the whole at-bat. That's his best pitch that he can throw for a strike. I was just trying to layoff his other stuff that's tough to lay off a lot of times. Once I got to 3-2, I knew he was coming with a fast ball and I put good wood on it."
"He hit my best pitch," Benitez said of the 97-mph fastball, to Liefer. "I'm behind in the count, I have to come and throw a strike."
We could flash back to the blown Game 6 of the 1999 NLCS against the Braves. Or perhaps the 2000 Subway Series, his walk of Paul O'Neill that blew Game One. J.T. Snow's home run in the first game of the NLDS in 2000. Pat Burrell, on three different occasions. The horrific blown leads against the Braves, twice down the stretch in 2001 that cost the Mets a playoff spot. The list goes on and on and while Armando has compiled the best save percentage (90.7) of anyone in baseball during the previous three years, there is a hideous disclaimer and that is Armando can't get them out when it counts.
That's why I thought I'd fallen asleep and woken up in the middle of the pennant race because this is evidence of the vintage Armando choke hold on himself that he can't seem to break when the games really count.
And frankly, it isn't such an unforgiveable deed so early in the season. After all, he'd saved the two games prior to this one. But then in true Armando style, he made matters worse by whining like Joy Behar on a bad hair day:
"What bothers me is I save two days in a row and I sit down by my locker and nobody comes to me, nobody talks to me," Benitez sniffles. "Sometimes we have to be fair and see that what I'm doing is sometimes good. It's not fair."
Listening to Armando whimper: the unloved Armando, the underappreciated Armando, the menstruating and irritated Armando, one begins to understand the root of his problems, the cause of his frequent bouts of choking, his inability to do the job when it counts. He simply doesn't understand the nature of his job as a closer.
John Franco, the Met vet who has saved 422 games in his career and knows a thing or two about what it's like to be a closer, likened being a closer to "being like a field goal kicker. You
make 12, 13 in a row, then you miss one and that is the one people want to know about."
And he's right. Some people can handle the pressure, understand the reality of being ignored except when you fail. It isn't fair. But the position calls for the ability to let that patent unfairness roll off your back. Armando can't because he doesn't have the emotional stoicism to handle it. And that's why when the game is on the line and the game actually counts, Armando has a well documented history of failing. He tightens up, he gets wild, and then he tries to overcompensate with his fastball that all the world knows is coming.
I said it all winter and I said it over and over again this spring: Armando should be traded before it begins to finally sink in throughout the rest of the league that he is damaged goods, a man who can't handle the pressure of a high-stakes game and come out the winner more times than not.
*****
The Detroit Tigers became the first team in 40 years to start 0-6 in consecutive seasons, finally relieving the NY Mets of '62 and '63 of that humiliation. After last season's embarassing 0-11 start, the Tigers have begun this sesaon by getting outscored 36-6 so far. It begs the question as to whether or not they should switch places with their Triple A Toledo Mudhens farm club who are 2-2 so far this season.
One week into the season, which is more surprising:
1. The disasterous start of Greg Maddux, who is already 0-2 with a 11.00 ERA.
2. The unforeseen 5-0 start of the Kansas City Royals out of the gate, the first ever to do so after a 100 loss sesaon.
3. Shea Hillenbrand going from the trading block to knocking in 15 runs in the first 7 games of the season.
4. The 5-1 start of the Pittsburgh Pirates.
5. Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling winless after both having pitched two games.
One week into the season, which is least surprising:
1. Junior going down to injury.
2. The Detroit Tigers 0-5 start and already 5 1/2 games out of first place.
3. Jose Hernandez has struck out 9 times in his first 22 at-bats putting him on pace for a record-shattering 243 strikeouts for the season.
4. Opening week attendance down nearly 10% following a week of inclimate weather.
5. Jeter going down to injury only to replaced by a guy who is hitting .412 in his absence.
*****
There's an interesting game on the Major League Baseball website called Beat The Streak wherein you pick one guy each day to get a hit and if he gets a hit, your streak continues. The first person to break DiMaggio's 56 game hitting streak gets seasons tickets for the team of his choice. If somehow you get a 100 game hitting streak, you get four tickets to EVERY game of the World Series.
*****
NCAA MEN'S BASKETBALL FINAL:
The main thing I want to say about the NCAA Men's Basketball Final is why the hell is it starting so early? 9:00 at night? Why don't they just start it at midnight so the 8 people in Hawaii who want to watch it will be home from work in time?
Finally, The Prediction, since I'm soooo close to the top of my SI.com hoops bracket challenge in 88,306th place:
In five games during the NCAA Tournament, Syracuse has beaten Texas, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State, the teams that finished second, third and fourth, respectively, in the Big 12. In January, the Orangemen beat Missouri, the fifth-place team in the conference. Only Kansas remains for the Orange to become Big 12 Champions.
Since I don't want to have to root against the team I like better, the pick is
Syracuse 86 Kansas 79
Friday, April 04, 2003
The Rise And Fall of Expectations
"I'm not just going to let Sammy add to his numbers against us" Art Howe, following the season's opening series against the Cubs who beat the Mets two out of three times.
It's a poor foreshadowing of the season when the biggest accomplishment of your opening series is reduced to holding Sammy Sosa from hitting his 500th homer against you. To do it, the Mets pitching staff had to walk Sosa 6 times out of 13 at bats. In a series in which they gave up 22 earned runs in 3 games, it's about the only thing outside of Al Leiter that you can say the pitching staff succeeded at.
The woeful tales of the inept are many. Mike Bacsic, who had once vied for the 5th spot in the rotation and was then reduced to a mop up role, pitched a perfect inning yesterday which brought his ERA down to still-unfathonable 27.00. Following the game he was sent back to the minors to make room for David Cone who may no longer be eligible for Social Security benefits once he takes the mound against the Expos on Saturday.
Yesterday, much like Tom Glavine's start on Opening Day, began with a bang by the Cubs when Steve Trachsel proved incapable of getting batters to make an out. Perhaps they should plagerize the Pentagon's crack slogan squad and call this the "Shock and Awe" School of Starting Pitching. Nine of the first thirteen Cubs batters reached base in the game against Steve Trachsel, as he allowed five runs through the first three innings and believe me, were it not for some inept baserunning by the Cubs, the bleeding could have been much worse. Trachsel picked off Corey Patterson and Mark Bellhorn in succession in the second. Sosa was thrown out at the plate trying to score on Alou's two-run double in the third, then Alou was nailed at home when he tagged up on a fly ball. Otherwise, this would have been much uglier.
I found a New Jersey paper on the train the other day and in it was an article which detailed the course of Art Howe's life and what a "tough" guy he is, apparently meant to offset the press questioning Howe's laid back reputation. Jason Giambi said "he's either the toughest nice guy or the nicest tough guy I've ever known" -- Well, that's a comfort if Art Howe's got my back in a bar fight but frankly, this laid back, everyone's happy as a hippy in a bed of flowers team mentality doesn't seem to be serving much point yet.
But perhaps it is unfair to place the blame on the shoulders of a maladroit pitching staff and its manager. After all, in the first three games of the season, the Mets have struck out a staggering 27 times. Hurray for Fat Mo that he's lost a little weight but he's hitting .143 and has struck out in nearly half of his at-bats.
So far, so bad. Yes, there was that inning or two of brief euphoria when the Mets almost resembled a Major League team instead of some sort of collective Max Patkin revival the other night but otherwise, it's been one act of ineptitude after another.
*****
At the onset of the only game the Mets won out of the series, the capricious Met television color man Keith Hernandez pointed out what a crucial stat he believed an umpire's walks to strikeouts ratio was in determining how a game will play out. He asked viewers to consider the implications of an expanded or constricted strike zone both for the hitter and the pitcher. After a few innings of watching Cubs starter Mark Clement throw wild-pitch sliders all over the place, it seemed like a moot point, but I looked it up anyway later on the Umpire Statistics Page.
The purpose of the site, which provides statistics for handicapping, is to keep track of data on umpires to learn of any biases that may be inherent in the way an individual umpire calls balls and strikes or shows sentiment for or against the home team. It further notes that "psychological and other intangible factors might be used to explain why such behavior occurs."
According to this site's statistics, for the umpires who regularly worked games last season, of the four with the highest walks-per-9-innings ratio, only two are still umpires this season and the other two don't even appear on the All-Time Umpire Roster. What happened to them? Did they blow one too many calls? What do these mysterious disappearances mean? Maybe the days of Alfonso Marquez and Sam Holbrook will soon be numbered and they too, will disappear entirely, Hoffa-like, from the annals of baseball's history. Strange, perhaps even ominous stats.
Yesterday I discovered the existence of Diamond Mind Baseball which has very elaborate computer-projected standings (and analysis) for the 2003 season. They picked the Mets to finish last and while I'd like to feel disgruntled, last year they picked the Mets fourth and look where it got them.
"I'm not just going to let Sammy add to his numbers against us" Art Howe, following the season's opening series against the Cubs who beat the Mets two out of three times.
It's a poor foreshadowing of the season when the biggest accomplishment of your opening series is reduced to holding Sammy Sosa from hitting his 500th homer against you. To do it, the Mets pitching staff had to walk Sosa 6 times out of 13 at bats. In a series in which they gave up 22 earned runs in 3 games, it's about the only thing outside of Al Leiter that you can say the pitching staff succeeded at.
The woeful tales of the inept are many. Mike Bacsic, who had once vied for the 5th spot in the rotation and was then reduced to a mop up role, pitched a perfect inning yesterday which brought his ERA down to still-unfathonable 27.00. Following the game he was sent back to the minors to make room for David Cone who may no longer be eligible for Social Security benefits once he takes the mound against the Expos on Saturday.
Yesterday, much like Tom Glavine's start on Opening Day, began with a bang by the Cubs when Steve Trachsel proved incapable of getting batters to make an out. Perhaps they should plagerize the Pentagon's crack slogan squad and call this the "Shock and Awe" School of Starting Pitching. Nine of the first thirteen Cubs batters reached base in the game against Steve Trachsel, as he allowed five runs through the first three innings and believe me, were it not for some inept baserunning by the Cubs, the bleeding could have been much worse. Trachsel picked off Corey Patterson and Mark Bellhorn in succession in the second. Sosa was thrown out at the plate trying to score on Alou's two-run double in the third, then Alou was nailed at home when he tagged up on a fly ball. Otherwise, this would have been much uglier.
I found a New Jersey paper on the train the other day and in it was an article which detailed the course of Art Howe's life and what a "tough" guy he is, apparently meant to offset the press questioning Howe's laid back reputation. Jason Giambi said "he's either the toughest nice guy or the nicest tough guy I've ever known" -- Well, that's a comfort if Art Howe's got my back in a bar fight but frankly, this laid back, everyone's happy as a hippy in a bed of flowers team mentality doesn't seem to be serving much point yet.
But perhaps it is unfair to place the blame on the shoulders of a maladroit pitching staff and its manager. After all, in the first three games of the season, the Mets have struck out a staggering 27 times. Hurray for Fat Mo that he's lost a little weight but he's hitting .143 and has struck out in nearly half of his at-bats.
So far, so bad. Yes, there was that inning or two of brief euphoria when the Mets almost resembled a Major League team instead of some sort of collective Max Patkin revival the other night but otherwise, it's been one act of ineptitude after another.
*****
At the onset of the only game the Mets won out of the series, the capricious Met television color man Keith Hernandez pointed out what a crucial stat he believed an umpire's walks to strikeouts ratio was in determining how a game will play out. He asked viewers to consider the implications of an expanded or constricted strike zone both for the hitter and the pitcher. After a few innings of watching Cubs starter Mark Clement throw wild-pitch sliders all over the place, it seemed like a moot point, but I looked it up anyway later on the Umpire Statistics Page.
The purpose of the site, which provides statistics for handicapping, is to keep track of data on umpires to learn of any biases that may be inherent in the way an individual umpire calls balls and strikes or shows sentiment for or against the home team. It further notes that "psychological and other intangible factors might be used to explain why such behavior occurs."
According to this site's statistics, for the umpires who regularly worked games last season, of the four with the highest walks-per-9-innings ratio, only two are still umpires this season and the other two don't even appear on the All-Time Umpire Roster. What happened to them? Did they blow one too many calls? What do these mysterious disappearances mean? Maybe the days of Alfonso Marquez and Sam Holbrook will soon be numbered and they too, will disappear entirely, Hoffa-like, from the annals of baseball's history. Strange, perhaps even ominous stats.
Yesterday I discovered the existence of Diamond Mind Baseball which has very elaborate computer-projected standings (and analysis) for the 2003 season. They picked the Mets to finish last and while I'd like to feel disgruntled, last year they picked the Mets fourth and look where it got them.
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
New York Minute
For New York fans, the onset of the baseball season yesterday demonstrated two diametrically opposed outcomes yet two similarly ominous auguries for the coming season.
I'm still trying to digest and understand a few things leading up to yesterday's Yankee opener: First of all, the well-publicized Toronto Star advertisement featuring, at the top, a series of Japanese characters and their English translation: "Boo Matsui." In the middle of the ad was a Yankees cap with bird droppings on it. I hate the Yankees just as much as the next guy but let's face it, the ad doesn't make any sense. Why encourage the seven or eight Blue Jays fans out there to boo someone who hasn't even played a regular season game for the Yankees yet? Didn't someone like David Wells, who issued a wide range of slurs against Toronto fans like calling them "wool-hat wankers" and saying "Stick, puck, ice, missing teeth; this is the stuff these Canucks understand. Baseball seems entirely too complicated for 'em.", merit a full page ad? Jim Bloom, in his first year as their director of consumer marketing and obviously desperate to come up with some ideas on how to keep his job, claimed that they picked out Matsui because he was a "high profile" signing. So what? Jose Contreras was a "high profile" signing as well. Ask any Red Sox fan. Do you think some neophyte moron in the Red Sox promotional office is going to encourage fans to boo Contreras? If anything, they'd boo Steinbrenner, a better personification of any bitterness baseball fans have about the economic disparity between baseball teams. For that matter, if he was worth booing, would Red Sox fans be so stupid that the Red Sox would have to take out an ad encouraging their fans to boo him? I think they could figure it out all on their own.
Paul Godfrey, Blue Jays president and a former newspaper publisher, compared the bird-dropping promotion to a political cartoon. "We had to light a fire under our fans," he said. "We used the Yankees to a certain extent. I acknowledge that." Shares in the communications company owned by Toronto Blue Jays owner Ted Rogers have declined almost 70 percent since 2000. They haven't had a sellout since 1997, a frustrating five-year drought for the team's bottom line but maybe fielding a middle-of-the-road team that only flirts with .500 every season doesn't help. Crying about economic disparities not only doesn't help, it doesn't make any sense in the face of the success of teams like the Minnesota Twins and the Oakland A's, to name a few.
Some other nuggets from last night's game was the ridiculous pre-game ceremonies complete with blaring rap music that had nothing to do with baseball, dimmed house lights, a laser show and some very strange smoke effects which made the Skydome seem more like some cheesy downtown disco than the venue of a baseball game.
When some Blue Jays fans did boo Hideki Matsui, as Sunday's controversial advertisement recommended, Hideki Matsui slapped the first big-league pitch he saw to left for a two-out, RBI single in the first inning, immediately followed by the Yankees bonehead announcer's breathless little cheer: "Welcome to America, Hideki!" -- until he realized a few silent pauses later they were all in Canada, not America, d'oh!
The big news of course, was Derek Jeter suffering a dislocated left shoulder after a violent collision at third base with Toronto catcher Ken Huckaby. Joe Torre and his entire lineup circled around him in quiet concern, waiting in vain for an emergency vehicle as though there was no foresight by anyone in the Blue Jay organization that an emergency vehicle might be needed during the game. This too, seemed almost a comical misadventure. Was it stuck in the snow? Were they trying to make Jeter pay for the economic disparity between the Yankees and Blue Jays by pretending they couldn't afford an emergency vehicle/golf cart with stretcher to ferry him away in?
To add even more unsettling news, Jeter, who was taken to Toronto's Mount Sinai Hospital for his X-rays, wore a surgical mask as a precautionary measure against the SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) virus, a mysterious and potentially deadly respiratory illness that has led to Toronto residents being quarantined.
Personally, the most disgusting moment of the evening came when listening to a pre-recorded Céline Dion croak out her version of "God Bless America". First of all, the autocratic and criminal nature of Bud Selig was demonstrated yet again for those who didn't notice the first trillion times he has marred the beauty of baseball with his idiotic Milwaukee bureaucrat mentality. For some reason, Major League Baseball ordered "God Bless America" played during the seventh-inning stretch at all ball parks, including those which are not in America, as a show of respect and support for the American-led war in Iraq. While this is bad enough, having a creepy and talentless washout like Céline Dion sing it, made it even somehow even worse.
*****
On the other side of the coin of course, was the miserable, Titanic-like disaster in Shea Stadium yesterday by the "new" Mets who lost in the worst Opening Day defeat in the major leagues since the Cubs trounced the St. Louis Browns 17-3 in 1951.
"I can rest a lot better after a game like this," Art Howe said, "than if we'd lost 4-2 or 2-1.".
The papers were right, this Art Howe IS a laid back guy. If the Mets play the rest of the season like they did yesterday, Howe will have plenty of time to rest pretty soon. In fact, he can take the second half of the season off because there won't be much point in playing it.
Where shall we start, Met minions? This is 2002 redux only this time, there is no Bobby Valentine, with his fake nose and moustache or his "stoned batter" trying to swing at a 90 mph fastball impressions to keep us loose, only Art Howe and his unnerving unwillingness to appear concerned about anything but being relaxed. Look, we've got more bad defense to look forward to! More mental lapses to anticipate! More incendiary relief pitching count on! More quotes about this being only one game and there being an entire season ahead of us, etc.
It's as though the baseball gods want Met fans to know right off the bat: fuggetaboutit. Glavine's harsh downturn in the second half of last season and his hideous post season performances were a portent of the misery to come. That's why the Mets were able to sign him in the first place. Mercifully, whatever faint Opening Day optimism might have been allowed germinate was quickly killed when Glavine gave up enough runs to lose within the first ten minutes of the game. Some people say he didn't sound, after the game, like a man making excuses so much as a man who knew exactly why and how he failed. So cheer up fans. Glavine isn't washed up. The reason he just looks like he is was because yesterday was cold and windy. He couldn't feel his fingers to feel his change up he says. So let's remember that when it's sunny and 90 degrees outside and Glavine is throwing no-hitters every afternoon.
And do you think Roger Cedeño isn't spending all his free time trying to cook up more excuses for why he looks like he's chasing hot dog wrappers on a windy day when a fly ball is hit his way? "I couldn't see the ball", Cedeño said yesterday of his comical misplay of a fly ball in the seventh inning. I'm not trying to make excuses, but the sun was right there, I looked up and there it was." Absolute genius, I say. He looks up, on a sunny day, and wow, there it was, the sun. He and Cliff Floyd, the Laurel and Hardy of outfield play, will be hard at work all season to explain their mistakes during nightgames for example: "The moonlight got in my eyes?", or "it was too dark to see?".
Yes, the Mets "only" lost one game today, but before the fans get too excited, it should be noted that was only because it's too early in the season for doubleheaders.
For New York fans, the onset of the baseball season yesterday demonstrated two diametrically opposed outcomes yet two similarly ominous auguries for the coming season.
I'm still trying to digest and understand a few things leading up to yesterday's Yankee opener: First of all, the well-publicized Toronto Star advertisement featuring, at the top, a series of Japanese characters and their English translation: "Boo Matsui." In the middle of the ad was a Yankees cap with bird droppings on it. I hate the Yankees just as much as the next guy but let's face it, the ad doesn't make any sense. Why encourage the seven or eight Blue Jays fans out there to boo someone who hasn't even played a regular season game for the Yankees yet? Didn't someone like David Wells, who issued a wide range of slurs against Toronto fans like calling them "wool-hat wankers" and saying "Stick, puck, ice, missing teeth; this is the stuff these Canucks understand. Baseball seems entirely too complicated for 'em.", merit a full page ad? Jim Bloom, in his first year as their director of consumer marketing and obviously desperate to come up with some ideas on how to keep his job, claimed that they picked out Matsui because he was a "high profile" signing. So what? Jose Contreras was a "high profile" signing as well. Ask any Red Sox fan. Do you think some neophyte moron in the Red Sox promotional office is going to encourage fans to boo Contreras? If anything, they'd boo Steinbrenner, a better personification of any bitterness baseball fans have about the economic disparity between baseball teams. For that matter, if he was worth booing, would Red Sox fans be so stupid that the Red Sox would have to take out an ad encouraging their fans to boo him? I think they could figure it out all on their own.
Paul Godfrey, Blue Jays president and a former newspaper publisher, compared the bird-dropping promotion to a political cartoon. "We had to light a fire under our fans," he said. "We used the Yankees to a certain extent. I acknowledge that." Shares in the communications company owned by Toronto Blue Jays owner Ted Rogers have declined almost 70 percent since 2000. They haven't had a sellout since 1997, a frustrating five-year drought for the team's bottom line but maybe fielding a middle-of-the-road team that only flirts with .500 every season doesn't help. Crying about economic disparities not only doesn't help, it doesn't make any sense in the face of the success of teams like the Minnesota Twins and the Oakland A's, to name a few.
Some other nuggets from last night's game was the ridiculous pre-game ceremonies complete with blaring rap music that had nothing to do with baseball, dimmed house lights, a laser show and some very strange smoke effects which made the Skydome seem more like some cheesy downtown disco than the venue of a baseball game.
When some Blue Jays fans did boo Hideki Matsui, as Sunday's controversial advertisement recommended, Hideki Matsui slapped the first big-league pitch he saw to left for a two-out, RBI single in the first inning, immediately followed by the Yankees bonehead announcer's breathless little cheer: "Welcome to America, Hideki!" -- until he realized a few silent pauses later they were all in Canada, not America, d'oh!
The big news of course, was Derek Jeter suffering a dislocated left shoulder after a violent collision at third base with Toronto catcher Ken Huckaby. Joe Torre and his entire lineup circled around him in quiet concern, waiting in vain for an emergency vehicle as though there was no foresight by anyone in the Blue Jay organization that an emergency vehicle might be needed during the game. This too, seemed almost a comical misadventure. Was it stuck in the snow? Were they trying to make Jeter pay for the economic disparity between the Yankees and Blue Jays by pretending they couldn't afford an emergency vehicle/golf cart with stretcher to ferry him away in?
To add even more unsettling news, Jeter, who was taken to Toronto's Mount Sinai Hospital for his X-rays, wore a surgical mask as a precautionary measure against the SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) virus, a mysterious and potentially deadly respiratory illness that has led to Toronto residents being quarantined.
Personally, the most disgusting moment of the evening came when listening to a pre-recorded Céline Dion croak out her version of "God Bless America". First of all, the autocratic and criminal nature of Bud Selig was demonstrated yet again for those who didn't notice the first trillion times he has marred the beauty of baseball with his idiotic Milwaukee bureaucrat mentality. For some reason, Major League Baseball ordered "God Bless America" played during the seventh-inning stretch at all ball parks, including those which are not in America, as a show of respect and support for the American-led war in Iraq. While this is bad enough, having a creepy and talentless washout like Céline Dion sing it, made it even somehow even worse.
*****
On the other side of the coin of course, was the miserable, Titanic-like disaster in Shea Stadium yesterday by the "new" Mets who lost in the worst Opening Day defeat in the major leagues since the Cubs trounced the St. Louis Browns 17-3 in 1951.
"I can rest a lot better after a game like this," Art Howe said, "than if we'd lost 4-2 or 2-1.".
The papers were right, this Art Howe IS a laid back guy. If the Mets play the rest of the season like they did yesterday, Howe will have plenty of time to rest pretty soon. In fact, he can take the second half of the season off because there won't be much point in playing it.
Where shall we start, Met minions? This is 2002 redux only this time, there is no Bobby Valentine, with his fake nose and moustache or his "stoned batter" trying to swing at a 90 mph fastball impressions to keep us loose, only Art Howe and his unnerving unwillingness to appear concerned about anything but being relaxed. Look, we've got more bad defense to look forward to! More mental lapses to anticipate! More incendiary relief pitching count on! More quotes about this being only one game and there being an entire season ahead of us, etc.
It's as though the baseball gods want Met fans to know right off the bat: fuggetaboutit. Glavine's harsh downturn in the second half of last season and his hideous post season performances were a portent of the misery to come. That's why the Mets were able to sign him in the first place. Mercifully, whatever faint Opening Day optimism might have been allowed germinate was quickly killed when Glavine gave up enough runs to lose within the first ten minutes of the game. Some people say he didn't sound, after the game, like a man making excuses so much as a man who knew exactly why and how he failed. So cheer up fans. Glavine isn't washed up. The reason he just looks like he is was because yesterday was cold and windy. He couldn't feel his fingers to feel his change up he says. So let's remember that when it's sunny and 90 degrees outside and Glavine is throwing no-hitters every afternoon.
And do you think Roger Cedeño isn't spending all his free time trying to cook up more excuses for why he looks like he's chasing hot dog wrappers on a windy day when a fly ball is hit his way? "I couldn't see the ball", Cedeño said yesterday of his comical misplay of a fly ball in the seventh inning. I'm not trying to make excuses, but the sun was right there, I looked up and there it was." Absolute genius, I say. He looks up, on a sunny day, and wow, there it was, the sun. He and Cliff Floyd, the Laurel and Hardy of outfield play, will be hard at work all season to explain their mistakes during nightgames for example: "The moonlight got in my eyes?", or "it was too dark to see?".
Yes, the Mets "only" lost one game today, but before the fans get too excited, it should be noted that was only because it's too early in the season for doubleheaders.
Friday, March 28, 2003
National League Preview
The biggest race of the National League just might be the race to 74. Is it even possible any more or are the days of inflated homerun numbers gasping their last breathes? Barry Bonds went from 73 homers to 46 last season. Sammy Sosa, from 64 to 49 and Junior, injury plagued and mercilessly burlesqued, from 22 homers to 8. The last time neither league was able to produce at least one 50 homer slugger was 1994 when Matt Williams led the majors with a paltry 43 dingers.
BEST CHANCE TO ADVANCE
Houston Astros: Now that their stadium is no longer associated with the sludge of the corporate greed and corruption of Enron, the biggest question for the Astros may be who, after Roy Oswalt and Wade Miller, will fill out their rotation. They've just dumped Shane Reynolds. Brian Moehler, who split an uninspiring season between Detroit and Cincinnati last year, has a steady record of mediocrity for the last four seasons will likely replace him while two youngsters who had fine spring trainings, last year's Pacific Coast league Most Valuable Pitcher Jeriome Robertson and fireballer Tim Redding, will fill out the rotation. Beyond this lack of depth in the rotation however, the Astros have a fine bullpen, one of the league's best closers in Billy Wagner and setup man Octavio Dotel, who on any other team, would be a standout closer. The list of things the Astros have going right for them is long. Signing Jeff Kent adds to an already formidable lineup that includes Bagwell, Lance Berkman, Biggio and Richard (hope for 30/30, settle for 20/20) Hidalgo, who has recovered sufficiently from getting shot in the arm during the an attempted carjacking in the off season. In a division where every team has one sort of serious problem or another, from injured closers to poor rotations, the Astros have best one-two starting pitching punch and the best pen. After winning the division four of the last six seasons, the Astros should make juicy Minute Maid Park a winning stadium in no time.
Los Angeles Dodgers: With Eric Gagne as their closer, the Dodgers went 80-2 when leading after eight innings. They have the deepest rotation in the National League with Nomo, Perez and Ishii, Dreifort and Kevin Brown, who, with a fantastic spring, can be counted on to fight Junior for Comeback Player of the Year honors. To back them up in the field, the Dodgers made only 90 errors all season. Their lineup, with speed demon Dave Roberts at the top followed by LoDuca, Green, McGriff, Brian Jordan and Adrian Beltre, while not the most intimidating in the West, certainly outshines that of Arizona, whom they open the season against. They won 92 games last year without Kevin Brown and Dreifort and without the balance of solid left handed power that McGriff brings. This year, they should do even better.
New York Mets: This is certainly the most enigmatic team in the National League. Spring has been a long love fest with everyone chirping about how happy they are with the laid back Art Howe in control. No kidding. But being happy and laid back doesn't necessarily provoke two fading stars, Mike Piazza and Roberto Alomar, back into their usual career numbers. Fat Mo lost some weight, sure enough, but he still has the range of a stone at first base. The Mets never satisfactorily filled the infield holes or the centerfield hole in Cedeno's glove or the holes in the rotation. Being laid back won't fill those holes. You can be sure of one thing however, with the three top teams in the East having undergone radical off season changes, the Mets are the only ones who have to do it this season or bust. Half of the rotation should be pitching in the Old Timers games next year, Piazza, if he continues a stubborn refusal to move out from behind the plate, will continue to see his power numbers sink, Alomar appears to be heading in a swift downward spiral and their closer, Armando Benitez, chokes like Mama Cass on a ham sandwich when the game on the line has any meaning. That said, because they are my favorite team, I can look at the potential of this season unobjectively. I can say Cedeno may play like a blind man in center, but he's still got great speed and can get on base enough to put some juice in the lineup. I can say Wigginton can be the answer at third and will hit better than any of the candidates the Mets could have brought in to replace Edgardo Alfonso. I can say that Glavine and Leiter are two great clubhouse leaders with enough guile and experience to pitch their way to superb, although not overwhelming seasons. I can say that Fat Mo will hit 40 homers and even Burnitz, who laughs at his strikeouts as if they were punchlines to his power, could do the same. I can say that a healthy Cliff Floyd is the catalyst that holds the lineup together. I can say both Alomar and Piazza have one more decent season in them. I can say alot and of course, because they are my team, I can see things just as idiotically rosey as the players and management do. After all, if you can't go into a season with the hope your favorite team can make it into the post season, you might as well move to Milwaukee and root for the stinkin Brewers.
Atlanta Braves: The entire premise of the Braves winning the East is based upon the assumption that the Philadelphia Phillies, with all the pressure of their big acquisitions building on them and a hot head manager like Bowa to lead them, are going to crumple like tissue paper at the first sign of adversity. The Braves, on the other hand, are on autopilot most of the year, convinced as much as the Yankees that the division is theirs to lose. Yes, the Braves lost Glavine and gave Millwood away for the closest thing to free you can find. Yes, their bullpen took several hits. Yes, Javy Lopez is on his way down and Vinny Castillo hasn't hit his weight in spring training. But the lineup still boasts Laaaaarry Jones, Andruw Jones and Gary Sheffield. It still has a Hall of Fame pitcher left over and the best closer in the division. The bullpen, the best in their history last season, is reconstructed from scratch but everyone being counted on, from Hernandez to Holmes, have had solid springs so the drop off might not be as hideous as some people expect. The good news is that Robert Fick, no longer boozing it up in the hangover that is the Detroit Tigers, will give the Braves some left handed punch at first base and the othergood news is that Skip Caray and Pete Van Wieren, who could put a crack head to sleep with their listless and hypnotic broadcasts for TBS, are gone. While I'm rooting for both Hampton and the Braves to falter miserably, like the Mets, the Braves aren't much, but they are experienced and they know how to win.
WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST
Milwaukee Brewers: For the first time in Milwaukee Brewers history, a Selig will not be president of the franchise so at least Brewers will have something to be happy about this year. New manager Ned Yost has already demonstrated he is a managing mastermind. "I believe that the clubhouse is your sanctuary," he said about the Brewers clubhouse to-be. "If you want to listen to music, it's very easy to put on a set of headphones, get in your own little world and listen to what you want and leave the 24 other guys out of it.". Yost wears his #3 uniform in honor of Dale Earnhardt who has nothing to do with baseball but from whom Yost says he learned "dogged determination". Yost is going to need more than dogged determination and a silent clubhouse to fix the Brewers. He'd need something like gazoo to get the Brewers back to .500. Unfortunately, gazoo is still busy helping Fred Flintstone out of his jams so Yost is going to have to take his lumps like the Brewers managers of the last ten losing years have and pray for a quick and painless dismissal.
Montreal Expos: Considering he was able to get the Expos to finish with a winning record and in second place last year, you might believe there isn't anything Frank Robinson can't do. The threat of contraction seems to have recuperative powers both in Montreal and in Minnesota. But this year brings even more distractions. Relocation. Playing in Canada and in Puerto Rico. Losing Bartolo Colon. Getting the Hernandez brothers. Not losing Fernando Tatis. And the soon-to-come Vladimir Guerrero sweepstakes. These things add up but they don't add up well.
San Diego Padres: Ever since the Padres couldn't get Phil Nevin to move to Cincinnati, it's been one headache after another. Call it the Junior Curse. Closer extraordinaire Trevor Hoffman has rotator cuff surgery and is lost for half the season. Nevin breaks his arm. The price of a gallon of gas in San Diego jumps to $2.21 a gallon. There are some nice suprises waiting to happen in San Diego, like Brandon Villafuerte and San Diego Regional Water Quality Control Board's September deadline to devise a plan to better clean millions of gallons of contaminated ground water it pumps from beneath the downtown Convention Center and discharges into San Diego Bay. But other than that, you've got a stadium that sounds like a Middle East capital and a team mascot that represents a catholic priest. Neither has had a good year and the Padres won't either.
What The Hell Are We Doing Here Award: Will go to Reggie Sanders and Kenny Lofton who went from the National League division champs to the Pittsburgh Pirates in one off season.
This Is Not A Good Omen Award: The Philadelphia Phillies, after an offseason frenzy of free agents and stars which has their fans and many baseball experts squirming with anticipation, not only get no-hit in an exhibition game last night, but they get no-hit by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays! Yes, the Phillies were quick to point out that Jim Thome didn't play in the game but the rest of this fabled hitting Leviathan did and if Jim Thome is expected to carry this much of the burden, they should have paid him $185 million instead of $85 million. And yes, the Phillies stole Millwood from the Braves but let's not forget, Millwood was the number three starter for the Braves. He isn't Cy Young. Padilla has a bad attitude and a 7.58 ERA this spring, and Randy Wolf looks like he's pitching in a softball tournament instead of the major leagues. Add it up with the fact that their closer is Jose Mesa, Larry Bowa, a man who makes Lou Piniella look like Buddha, is their manager and the expectations in a city of mean-spirited fans like Philadelphia who won't wait for the Phillies to "discover" themselves and I think you've got the season's biggest train wreck waiting to happen.
What In The Name of Alex Gonzalez?: Has anyone else noticed that Alex Gonzalez is slated to play shortstop for both the Florida Marlins and the Chicago Cubs? No, not that Alex Gonzalez, the other Alex Gonzalez.
Close But No Cigar Award: To Chicago, St. Louis, San Franscico and Arizona. They all have good teams and they all have great chances to make the playoffs but little intangibles, like the Cardinals have no closer and half the starters are either already injured or so injury prone it's just a matter of games before they snap a joint or tear a muscle. The Cubs are a sentimental favorite for most of the world who loves perennial losers and people who like to think if you root long and hard enough, the odds are with the Cubs that some day they will win a World Series. The Giants can be summed up thusly: Felipe Alou for Dusty Baker (bad), Edgardo Alfonso for Jeff Kent (worse). Don't let all the other off season noise fool you. Dusty Baker held that team together for those many years and without him, they are just another team. The Diamondbacks, with the Johnson and Schilling and Pray for A Mercy Killing pitching staff will continue to prosper but the hitting is only done in private and you can't win 1-0 every game.
Predictions:
NL East: Atlanta, NY Mets, Philadelphia, Florida, Montreal
NL Cental: Houston, Chicago, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Milwaukee
NL West: Los Angeles, Arizona, San Fransisco, Colorado and San Diego
MVP: Shawn Green
Cy Young: Randy Johnson
Biggest question: Will Jose Hernandez strikeouts become bunt singles in the thin air of Coors Field?
The biggest race of the National League just might be the race to 74. Is it even possible any more or are the days of inflated homerun numbers gasping their last breathes? Barry Bonds went from 73 homers to 46 last season. Sammy Sosa, from 64 to 49 and Junior, injury plagued and mercilessly burlesqued, from 22 homers to 8. The last time neither league was able to produce at least one 50 homer slugger was 1994 when Matt Williams led the majors with a paltry 43 dingers.
BEST CHANCE TO ADVANCE
Houston Astros: Now that their stadium is no longer associated with the sludge of the corporate greed and corruption of Enron, the biggest question for the Astros may be who, after Roy Oswalt and Wade Miller, will fill out their rotation. They've just dumped Shane Reynolds. Brian Moehler, who split an uninspiring season between Detroit and Cincinnati last year, has a steady record of mediocrity for the last four seasons will likely replace him while two youngsters who had fine spring trainings, last year's Pacific Coast league Most Valuable Pitcher Jeriome Robertson and fireballer Tim Redding, will fill out the rotation. Beyond this lack of depth in the rotation however, the Astros have a fine bullpen, one of the league's best closers in Billy Wagner and setup man Octavio Dotel, who on any other team, would be a standout closer. The list of things the Astros have going right for them is long. Signing Jeff Kent adds to an already formidable lineup that includes Bagwell, Lance Berkman, Biggio and Richard (hope for 30/30, settle for 20/20) Hidalgo, who has recovered sufficiently from getting shot in the arm during the an attempted carjacking in the off season. In a division where every team has one sort of serious problem or another, from injured closers to poor rotations, the Astros have best one-two starting pitching punch and the best pen. After winning the division four of the last six seasons, the Astros should make juicy Minute Maid Park a winning stadium in no time.
Los Angeles Dodgers: With Eric Gagne as their closer, the Dodgers went 80-2 when leading after eight innings. They have the deepest rotation in the National League with Nomo, Perez and Ishii, Dreifort and Kevin Brown, who, with a fantastic spring, can be counted on to fight Junior for Comeback Player of the Year honors. To back them up in the field, the Dodgers made only 90 errors all season. Their lineup, with speed demon Dave Roberts at the top followed by LoDuca, Green, McGriff, Brian Jordan and Adrian Beltre, while not the most intimidating in the West, certainly outshines that of Arizona, whom they open the season against. They won 92 games last year without Kevin Brown and Dreifort and without the balance of solid left handed power that McGriff brings. This year, they should do even better.
New York Mets: This is certainly the most enigmatic team in the National League. Spring has been a long love fest with everyone chirping about how happy they are with the laid back Art Howe in control. No kidding. But being happy and laid back doesn't necessarily provoke two fading stars, Mike Piazza and Roberto Alomar, back into their usual career numbers. Fat Mo lost some weight, sure enough, but he still has the range of a stone at first base. The Mets never satisfactorily filled the infield holes or the centerfield hole in Cedeno's glove or the holes in the rotation. Being laid back won't fill those holes. You can be sure of one thing however, with the three top teams in the East having undergone radical off season changes, the Mets are the only ones who have to do it this season or bust. Half of the rotation should be pitching in the Old Timers games next year, Piazza, if he continues a stubborn refusal to move out from behind the plate, will continue to see his power numbers sink, Alomar appears to be heading in a swift downward spiral and their closer, Armando Benitez, chokes like Mama Cass on a ham sandwich when the game on the line has any meaning. That said, because they are my favorite team, I can look at the potential of this season unobjectively. I can say Cedeno may play like a blind man in center, but he's still got great speed and can get on base enough to put some juice in the lineup. I can say Wigginton can be the answer at third and will hit better than any of the candidates the Mets could have brought in to replace Edgardo Alfonso. I can say that Glavine and Leiter are two great clubhouse leaders with enough guile and experience to pitch their way to superb, although not overwhelming seasons. I can say that Fat Mo will hit 40 homers and even Burnitz, who laughs at his strikeouts as if they were punchlines to his power, could do the same. I can say that a healthy Cliff Floyd is the catalyst that holds the lineup together. I can say both Alomar and Piazza have one more decent season in them. I can say alot and of course, because they are my team, I can see things just as idiotically rosey as the players and management do. After all, if you can't go into a season with the hope your favorite team can make it into the post season, you might as well move to Milwaukee and root for the stinkin Brewers.
Atlanta Braves: The entire premise of the Braves winning the East is based upon the assumption that the Philadelphia Phillies, with all the pressure of their big acquisitions building on them and a hot head manager like Bowa to lead them, are going to crumple like tissue paper at the first sign of adversity. The Braves, on the other hand, are on autopilot most of the year, convinced as much as the Yankees that the division is theirs to lose. Yes, the Braves lost Glavine and gave Millwood away for the closest thing to free you can find. Yes, their bullpen took several hits. Yes, Javy Lopez is on his way down and Vinny Castillo hasn't hit his weight in spring training. But the lineup still boasts Laaaaarry Jones, Andruw Jones and Gary Sheffield. It still has a Hall of Fame pitcher left over and the best closer in the division. The bullpen, the best in their history last season, is reconstructed from scratch but everyone being counted on, from Hernandez to Holmes, have had solid springs so the drop off might not be as hideous as some people expect. The good news is that Robert Fick, no longer boozing it up in the hangover that is the Detroit Tigers, will give the Braves some left handed punch at first base and the othergood news is that Skip Caray and Pete Van Wieren, who could put a crack head to sleep with their listless and hypnotic broadcasts for TBS, are gone. While I'm rooting for both Hampton and the Braves to falter miserably, like the Mets, the Braves aren't much, but they are experienced and they know how to win.
WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST
Milwaukee Brewers: For the first time in Milwaukee Brewers history, a Selig will not be president of the franchise so at least Brewers will have something to be happy about this year. New manager Ned Yost has already demonstrated he is a managing mastermind. "I believe that the clubhouse is your sanctuary," he said about the Brewers clubhouse to-be. "If you want to listen to music, it's very easy to put on a set of headphones, get in your own little world and listen to what you want and leave the 24 other guys out of it.". Yost wears his #3 uniform in honor of Dale Earnhardt who has nothing to do with baseball but from whom Yost says he learned "dogged determination". Yost is going to need more than dogged determination and a silent clubhouse to fix the Brewers. He'd need something like gazoo to get the Brewers back to .500. Unfortunately, gazoo is still busy helping Fred Flintstone out of his jams so Yost is going to have to take his lumps like the Brewers managers of the last ten losing years have and pray for a quick and painless dismissal.
Montreal Expos: Considering he was able to get the Expos to finish with a winning record and in second place last year, you might believe there isn't anything Frank Robinson can't do. The threat of contraction seems to have recuperative powers both in Montreal and in Minnesota. But this year brings even more distractions. Relocation. Playing in Canada and in Puerto Rico. Losing Bartolo Colon. Getting the Hernandez brothers. Not losing Fernando Tatis. And the soon-to-come Vladimir Guerrero sweepstakes. These things add up but they don't add up well.
San Diego Padres: Ever since the Padres couldn't get Phil Nevin to move to Cincinnati, it's been one headache after another. Call it the Junior Curse. Closer extraordinaire Trevor Hoffman has rotator cuff surgery and is lost for half the season. Nevin breaks his arm. The price of a gallon of gas in San Diego jumps to $2.21 a gallon. There are some nice suprises waiting to happen in San Diego, like Brandon Villafuerte and San Diego Regional Water Quality Control Board's September deadline to devise a plan to better clean millions of gallons of contaminated ground water it pumps from beneath the downtown Convention Center and discharges into San Diego Bay. But other than that, you've got a stadium that sounds like a Middle East capital and a team mascot that represents a catholic priest. Neither has had a good year and the Padres won't either.
What The Hell Are We Doing Here Award: Will go to Reggie Sanders and Kenny Lofton who went from the National League division champs to the Pittsburgh Pirates in one off season.
This Is Not A Good Omen Award: The Philadelphia Phillies, after an offseason frenzy of free agents and stars which has their fans and many baseball experts squirming with anticipation, not only get no-hit in an exhibition game last night, but they get no-hit by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays! Yes, the Phillies were quick to point out that Jim Thome didn't play in the game but the rest of this fabled hitting Leviathan did and if Jim Thome is expected to carry this much of the burden, they should have paid him $185 million instead of $85 million. And yes, the Phillies stole Millwood from the Braves but let's not forget, Millwood was the number three starter for the Braves. He isn't Cy Young. Padilla has a bad attitude and a 7.58 ERA this spring, and Randy Wolf looks like he's pitching in a softball tournament instead of the major leagues. Add it up with the fact that their closer is Jose Mesa, Larry Bowa, a man who makes Lou Piniella look like Buddha, is their manager and the expectations in a city of mean-spirited fans like Philadelphia who won't wait for the Phillies to "discover" themselves and I think you've got the season's biggest train wreck waiting to happen.
What In The Name of Alex Gonzalez?: Has anyone else noticed that Alex Gonzalez is slated to play shortstop for both the Florida Marlins and the Chicago Cubs? No, not that Alex Gonzalez, the other Alex Gonzalez.
Close But No Cigar Award: To Chicago, St. Louis, San Franscico and Arizona. They all have good teams and they all have great chances to make the playoffs but little intangibles, like the Cardinals have no closer and half the starters are either already injured or so injury prone it's just a matter of games before they snap a joint or tear a muscle. The Cubs are a sentimental favorite for most of the world who loves perennial losers and people who like to think if you root long and hard enough, the odds are with the Cubs that some day they will win a World Series. The Giants can be summed up thusly: Felipe Alou for Dusty Baker (bad), Edgardo Alfonso for Jeff Kent (worse). Don't let all the other off season noise fool you. Dusty Baker held that team together for those many years and without him, they are just another team. The Diamondbacks, with the Johnson and Schilling and Pray for A Mercy Killing pitching staff will continue to prosper but the hitting is only done in private and you can't win 1-0 every game.
Predictions:
NL East: Atlanta, NY Mets, Philadelphia, Florida, Montreal
NL Cental: Houston, Chicago, St. Louis, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Milwaukee
NL West: Los Angeles, Arizona, San Fransisco, Colorado and San Diego
MVP: Shawn Green
Cy Young: Randy Johnson
Biggest question: Will Jose Hernandez strikeouts become bunt singles in the thin air of Coors Field?
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
American League Preview
Serious pennant races in the AL East and West. Serious races for the AL All Star Shortstop. Serious races for the wildcard. And best yet, Nomah stinkin Rally Monkey!
BEST CHANCE TO ADVANCE:
NY Yankees: The first thing I notice about the Yankees, with a bit of glee in fact, is that their bullpen has been squandered and is in disarray. Yeahyeah, they've got Mariano, but Mariano's got a cranky groin (ugh), just like last season and he's starting off the season on the DL. Taking his place will be Juan Acevedo. All you need to know about Juan Acevedo is that he was the closer for the Detroit Tigers last year and he has a career 4.16 ERA. He's so good the Tigers didn't even want him so the Yankees were able to sign him to a minor league contract. More genius bullpen moves by GM Brian Cashman: Dump Ramiro Mendoza and Mike Stanton. Sign Chris Hammond and his shoulder injury, watch Steve Karsay suffer another shoulder injury, sign Antonio Osuna, a piker with a 3.86 bullpen ERA last year for the White Sox. Pick up Acevedo from the dregs of the Tigers and whew, call it a day. Cashman is my hero. He destroyed the bullpen almost single-handedly.
Fortunately for him, because George Steinbrenner would buy Satan if the Red Sox wanted him first, the Yankees still have 5, perhaps 6 very good starters. They also have a very gruesome hitting lineup. I get the willies looking at it. Soriano, Jeter, Giambi, Williams, Matsui, Posada, etc. Worse still, Reggie Jackson appears to have straightened out Raul Mondesi. There are holes here and there but not many.
Boston Red Sox: Despite Pedro's big mouth, I like this team. I like them even though half the positions will be filled "by committee". There's the closer by committee that everyone already knows about. Then first base by committe between Millar, Ortiz and Giambi. Then perhaps a third base by committee between Hillenbrand and on cloudy days, Mueller. And of course, DH by committee between whoever else isn't starting on the field that game. I like that. The Boston Platoon Sox. Grady Little and the Boston Platoon Sox. What a great little jazz combo. Nomah will fight it out with Jason Giambi all season for MVP while Manny Ramirez just emasculates pitchers, over and over again.
Oakland A's: The three questions are: How will they do without Howe? Will all of The Big Three (Zito, Hudson and Mulder) stay healthy? Did Billy Beane FINALLY make a mistake by trading Billy Koch and getting Keith Foulke in return? Answer one: Howe's bonehead pitching staff moves cost the A's a chance to make it to the World Series last season so no, he won't be missed. Answer two: Yes, all three will be healthy but Mulder, not Zito, will be their ace by the end of the year. Answer three: Getting rid of Koch means far fewer late innings of high drama as Koch walks the first two batters he faces before he strikes out the side. Foulke is not an exciting closer but he'll do.
Minnesota Twins: Here's a crazy thought: Picking up Kenny Rogers at the last minute to replace the injured Eric Milton might have saved the Twins' season. The best off season move by any team in the minors was when the Rochester Red Wings dumped the Baltimore Orioles as their AAA parent team and hooked up with the Minnesota Twins. Wow. That's like divorcing Roseanne Barr and marrying Jennie Finch. The Minnesota Twins have unlimited supplies of great players in their minor league system and combined with a stunningly good bullpen, the Twins can continue to give Commissioner-For-Life Bud Selig the collective finger.
Women And Children First:
Detroit Tigers: Worst team by far in the AL. Starting pitching led by a trio called is Sad, Sadder and Saddest. Bullpen is decent but who is going to save a game when you're down 13-4 in the 8th every night and even the hot dog vendors have already run home in terror? However, the Tigers are "on their way up". By 2013, they should make it to fourth place.
Toronto Blue Jays: Suprised to see yourself so far gone? I know, I know, in the cosmic order of the universe, everyone picks them THIRD. The Blue Jays separate the milk from the cream, the Yankees and Red Sox from viral diseases like the Orioles and Devil Rays...Well, I'm not buying it. Other than Shannon Stewart and Roy Halladay, this is a AAA team managed by a man named Carlos Tosca. Am I the only one outside of Canada asking myself, WHO? Tosca? Wasn't that an opera? Oh yeah, Puccini on first, Angelotti on second and Cavaradossi on third. it sounds beautiful but remember, in the Third Act, the chick leaps to her death. Doesn't bode well. Yes, I know Mr. Tosca managed the Jays to a miraculous 58-51 record as an interim manager last season but check out this downward spiral since 1998: The Jays' winning percentage has been: .543, .519, .512, .494 and last year: .481.
Tampa Bay: Poor Lou Piniella. Instead of a grand return to New York to manage the Mets, he ends up in a sink hole like Tampa Bay. Instead of managing Mike Piazza, Tom Glavine, Al Leiter, Roberto Alomar and Cliff Floyd, he's stuck with Stooopid Rey Ordonez. Bright spot? Keep an eye on Rocco Baldelli, their #1 pick in 2000. That, and the fact that Tropicana Stadium is now being billed as "The Ballpark of the 21st Century" on their website. Now that is something to be proud of.
Kansas City Royals: Hey, they're KILLING everyone in spring training this year. They're 17-6 in games that don't matter. Enjoy it now Royals fans. Mike Sweeney is one of the best first basemen in the American League. Enjoy him now Royals fans. Enjoy Carlos Beltran and Joe Randa now, while you can Royals fans and then turn out the lights, grateful that at least you don't live in Detroit, the only circle of hell higher than being a Tigers fan.
Baltimore Orioles: What does it mean when your bright spot of the off season was getting Buck Martinez to be the color man for your broadcasts? That tells you all you need know about the Orioles this year. Well, it might be exciting to have the best closer in the AL East. Jorge Julio, if the Orioles can stay close in a few games this year, might be worth the wait. That and the opportunity to watch Jay Gibbons and Tony Batista attempt to offset the breeze blowing in from the Inner Harbor with the gale force winds created by their gargantuan whiffs at the plate.
Two Managers With Unreasonable Tasks: Buck Showalter tries to micromanage the Rangers out of last place in a division that has no weaknesses. Lou Piniella tries to manage the Devil Rays out of last place by subverting the laws of physics.
Team I Will Root For Even Though They Haven't Got A Prayer: Cleveland Indians: very close to being a AAA Allstar team. The Indians will be back on the warpath in another year. Josh Bard, Travis Hafner, Brandon Phillips, Casey Blake and Ricardo Rodriguez are all future stars.
Team I Will Root Against No Matter What, Not Even If God Promises To Disembowel George Steinbrenner Before My Very Eyes: New York Yankees. Joe Torre is the most overrated manager on planet Earth.
Team I Will Root Against When The Yankees Aren't Playing: Anaheim Angels. Gimme a break. Gene Autry? Rally Monkey? Disney? Last season's World Series was an emotional scar on the collective subconscious of the universe. The Angels won't even smell the playoffs again for another decade.
Most Interesting Individual Battle: Allstar voting for AL Shortstop. I don't care if he makes more than George Steinbrenner, A-Rod is the best shortstop in baseball, bar none. He's a trillionaire, he's one of baseball's best players and his hero is Cal Ripken. Give the guy some credit. He could have ended up like another former #1 pick: Darryl Strawberry. Instead, he's humble, talented and hell, for my money, he's the Arky Vaughn of the 21st century.
Predictions:
AL East: Boston, NYY, Baltimore, Tampa Bay, Toronto
AL Central: Minnesota, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland, Kansas City, Detroit
AL West: Oakland, Seattle, Anaheim, Texas.
AL Champs: NY Yankees
First Manager Fired: Carlos Tosca.
MVP: Nomah Garciaparra
Cy Young: Pedro Martinez
Serious pennant races in the AL East and West. Serious races for the AL All Star Shortstop. Serious races for the wildcard. And best yet, Nomah stinkin Rally Monkey!
BEST CHANCE TO ADVANCE:
NY Yankees: The first thing I notice about the Yankees, with a bit of glee in fact, is that their bullpen has been squandered and is in disarray. Yeahyeah, they've got Mariano, but Mariano's got a cranky groin (ugh), just like last season and he's starting off the season on the DL. Taking his place will be Juan Acevedo. All you need to know about Juan Acevedo is that he was the closer for the Detroit Tigers last year and he has a career 4.16 ERA. He's so good the Tigers didn't even want him so the Yankees were able to sign him to a minor league contract. More genius bullpen moves by GM Brian Cashman: Dump Ramiro Mendoza and Mike Stanton. Sign Chris Hammond and his shoulder injury, watch Steve Karsay suffer another shoulder injury, sign Antonio Osuna, a piker with a 3.86 bullpen ERA last year for the White Sox. Pick up Acevedo from the dregs of the Tigers and whew, call it a day. Cashman is my hero. He destroyed the bullpen almost single-handedly.
Fortunately for him, because George Steinbrenner would buy Satan if the Red Sox wanted him first, the Yankees still have 5, perhaps 6 very good starters. They also have a very gruesome hitting lineup. I get the willies looking at it. Soriano, Jeter, Giambi, Williams, Matsui, Posada, etc. Worse still, Reggie Jackson appears to have straightened out Raul Mondesi. There are holes here and there but not many.
Boston Red Sox: Despite Pedro's big mouth, I like this team. I like them even though half the positions will be filled "by committee". There's the closer by committee that everyone already knows about. Then first base by committe between Millar, Ortiz and Giambi. Then perhaps a third base by committee between Hillenbrand and on cloudy days, Mueller. And of course, DH by committee between whoever else isn't starting on the field that game. I like that. The Boston Platoon Sox. Grady Little and the Boston Platoon Sox. What a great little jazz combo. Nomah will fight it out with Jason Giambi all season for MVP while Manny Ramirez just emasculates pitchers, over and over again.
Oakland A's: The three questions are: How will they do without Howe? Will all of The Big Three (Zito, Hudson and Mulder) stay healthy? Did Billy Beane FINALLY make a mistake by trading Billy Koch and getting Keith Foulke in return? Answer one: Howe's bonehead pitching staff moves cost the A's a chance to make it to the World Series last season so no, he won't be missed. Answer two: Yes, all three will be healthy but Mulder, not Zito, will be their ace by the end of the year. Answer three: Getting rid of Koch means far fewer late innings of high drama as Koch walks the first two batters he faces before he strikes out the side. Foulke is not an exciting closer but he'll do.
Minnesota Twins: Here's a crazy thought: Picking up Kenny Rogers at the last minute to replace the injured Eric Milton might have saved the Twins' season. The best off season move by any team in the minors was when the Rochester Red Wings dumped the Baltimore Orioles as their AAA parent team and hooked up with the Minnesota Twins. Wow. That's like divorcing Roseanne Barr and marrying Jennie Finch. The Minnesota Twins have unlimited supplies of great players in their minor league system and combined with a stunningly good bullpen, the Twins can continue to give Commissioner-For-Life Bud Selig the collective finger.
Women And Children First:
Detroit Tigers: Worst team by far in the AL. Starting pitching led by a trio called is Sad, Sadder and Saddest. Bullpen is decent but who is going to save a game when you're down 13-4 in the 8th every night and even the hot dog vendors have already run home in terror? However, the Tigers are "on their way up". By 2013, they should make it to fourth place.
Toronto Blue Jays: Suprised to see yourself so far gone? I know, I know, in the cosmic order of the universe, everyone picks them THIRD. The Blue Jays separate the milk from the cream, the Yankees and Red Sox from viral diseases like the Orioles and Devil Rays...Well, I'm not buying it. Other than Shannon Stewart and Roy Halladay, this is a AAA team managed by a man named Carlos Tosca. Am I the only one outside of Canada asking myself, WHO? Tosca? Wasn't that an opera? Oh yeah, Puccini on first, Angelotti on second and Cavaradossi on third. it sounds beautiful but remember, in the Third Act, the chick leaps to her death. Doesn't bode well. Yes, I know Mr. Tosca managed the Jays to a miraculous 58-51 record as an interim manager last season but check out this downward spiral since 1998: The Jays' winning percentage has been: .543, .519, .512, .494 and last year: .481.
Tampa Bay: Poor Lou Piniella. Instead of a grand return to New York to manage the Mets, he ends up in a sink hole like Tampa Bay. Instead of managing Mike Piazza, Tom Glavine, Al Leiter, Roberto Alomar and Cliff Floyd, he's stuck with Stooopid Rey Ordonez. Bright spot? Keep an eye on Rocco Baldelli, their #1 pick in 2000. That, and the fact that Tropicana Stadium is now being billed as "The Ballpark of the 21st Century" on their website. Now that is something to be proud of.
Kansas City Royals: Hey, they're KILLING everyone in spring training this year. They're 17-6 in games that don't matter. Enjoy it now Royals fans. Mike Sweeney is one of the best first basemen in the American League. Enjoy him now Royals fans. Enjoy Carlos Beltran and Joe Randa now, while you can Royals fans and then turn out the lights, grateful that at least you don't live in Detroit, the only circle of hell higher than being a Tigers fan.
Baltimore Orioles: What does it mean when your bright spot of the off season was getting Buck Martinez to be the color man for your broadcasts? That tells you all you need know about the Orioles this year. Well, it might be exciting to have the best closer in the AL East. Jorge Julio, if the Orioles can stay close in a few games this year, might be worth the wait. That and the opportunity to watch Jay Gibbons and Tony Batista attempt to offset the breeze blowing in from the Inner Harbor with the gale force winds created by their gargantuan whiffs at the plate.
Two Managers With Unreasonable Tasks: Buck Showalter tries to micromanage the Rangers out of last place in a division that has no weaknesses. Lou Piniella tries to manage the Devil Rays out of last place by subverting the laws of physics.
Team I Will Root For Even Though They Haven't Got A Prayer: Cleveland Indians: very close to being a AAA Allstar team. The Indians will be back on the warpath in another year. Josh Bard, Travis Hafner, Brandon Phillips, Casey Blake and Ricardo Rodriguez are all future stars.
Team I Will Root Against No Matter What, Not Even If God Promises To Disembowel George Steinbrenner Before My Very Eyes: New York Yankees. Joe Torre is the most overrated manager on planet Earth.
Team I Will Root Against When The Yankees Aren't Playing: Anaheim Angels. Gimme a break. Gene Autry? Rally Monkey? Disney? Last season's World Series was an emotional scar on the collective subconscious of the universe. The Angels won't even smell the playoffs again for another decade.
Most Interesting Individual Battle: Allstar voting for AL Shortstop. I don't care if he makes more than George Steinbrenner, A-Rod is the best shortstop in baseball, bar none. He's a trillionaire, he's one of baseball's best players and his hero is Cal Ripken. Give the guy some credit. He could have ended up like another former #1 pick: Darryl Strawberry. Instead, he's humble, talented and hell, for my money, he's the Arky Vaughn of the 21st century.
Predictions:
AL East: Boston, NYY, Baltimore, Tampa Bay, Toronto
AL Central: Minnesota, Chicago White Sox, Cleveland, Kansas City, Detroit
AL West: Oakland, Seattle, Anaheim, Texas.
AL Champs: NY Yankees
First Manager Fired: Carlos Tosca.
MVP: Nomah Garciaparra
Cy Young: Pedro Martinez
Monday, March 24, 2003
Beware The Ides of March
"Oft expectation fails, and most oft where most it promises; and oft it hits where hope is coldest; and despair most sits."
William Shakespeare
As it was undoubtedly for many others, the luster of this weekend's NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament games were dulled somewhat by the war news hitting us constantly and from every angle.
Nevertheless, the games did go on as normal: Dick Vitale did not seem to hyperventilate any less, cheerleaders (especially those on Syracuse) did not seem any less enthused or less provocative, and most of all, my brackets experienced their annual meltdown, liberating me from the anxiety and angst of rooting for teams I don't like or barely know, just because I picked them in my pool. Now I can say with certainty that I'm rooting for an All Big East Final Four. Why not?
*****
One thing even that managed to bring my baseball emotions to the forefront this past week was the remark of a certain waifish and emaciated pitcher for the Boston Red Sox named Pedro Martinez. Martinez, who rarily himself ever stands up at the plate to bat, came to the defense of his equally skinny and cowardly Dominican hermano Guillermo Mota following Mota's back-pedaling, scared schoolgirl act after hitting Mike Piazza in an exhibition game twice in a row. Piazza, whose eyes blazed with an insane fury not unlike those of Nicholson in The Shining as he chased Mota, was criticized by Pedro who felt compelled to try and examine the inner motivations of Piazza's attempt assault on Mota:
"Maybe he felt like he had to show off his testosterone," Martinez said of Piazza. "But this may be more embarrassing than the one before. Why would you go after skinny Guillermo Mota in spring training and do nothing to Roger Clemens in the World Series?"
I've seen Pedro flail away with a baseball bat before, like June 14, 2002 against the Braves. It's painful to watch. Something like a schoolgirl swinging in a coed gym class game. Even Pedro admits it. After that fateful game against Atlanta, striking out twice in three weak at bats, he confessed: "I've got no chance. It seems like I'm lost out there."
Secondly, while Pedro might be well-versed in playing in exhibition games, since he's been in a grand total of ZERO World Series games, I don't think he should comment on how other players, especially players like Piazza, who could easily use Pedro as a toothpick, conduct themselves in the heat of a World Series game.
I used to like Pedro but the more he opens his mouth, the more it becomes apparent that he's better off keeping it shut. Red Sox fans might recall Pedro's remarks last summer about current Met Cliff Floyd after Floyd was traded to the Red Sox in July. Pedro whined and squealed about how the Red Sox didn't need a player like Cliff Floyd. When asked about Cliff Floyd's experience as playing on World Championship team, having a World Championship ring, Pedro replied: "His ring doesn't mean anything."
Yeah. Why would the Red Sox need a player like that when they've won so many World Series' themselves? Likely, Pedro would prefer more Dominican teammates. Mota and his 10-22 career won/loss record. Jose Offerman and his refusal to pinch hit. (Didn't you hear Pedro wax poetic about fellow Dominican Offerman when the clubhouse cancer was on his way out?).
Come to think of it, maybe an all-Dominican team wouldn't be so bad after all. Bartolo Colon, Ramon Ortiz and Pedro heading the starting rotation. Manny Ramirez, Vladimir Guerrero, and Sammy Sosa in the outfield. Miguel Tejada, Albert Pujols, Alfonso Soriano and Cristian Guzman in the infield, Octavio Dotel setting up and Armando Benitez closing. That's pretty much an All-Star team from one little island.
So Pedro, while you sticking up for your fellow Dominicans is admirable, two bits of advice: don't stick up for the crappy ones and don't knock Piazza because frankly, there aren't any Dominican catchers out there as good as him right now.
*****
Favorite quote of the week came from Padres genius GM Kevin Towers:
"You can't score runs unless you get people on base"
What are you talking about? Hey, Towers, ever heard of something called a HOMERUN before?
*****
I'm sure there are plenty of Mets fans out there with pangs of regret that our little punching bag Rey Ordoñez is no longer with the team. Sweet memories flooded over us all when the Mets played Tampa Bay last week and Ordoñez whined about former teammate Roberto Alomar:
"He talked too much -- about me, with the trade. So I want to see that in his face now. Every day, he said something different about me."
The problem with Rey Ordoñez is that he learned to speak English. He's been putting his foot in his mouth ever since.
Tampa Bay manager Lou Piniella said he has noticed that Ordonez has been excellent in the field but that, "offensively, he has been a little overagressive." Hahaha. I guess poor Lou never got to see Rey in action before. Ordoñez is currently hitting a sterling .195 for the Devil Rays.
Provided the war doesn't get too out of hand, hopefully there will time for a baseball preview this week. ONLY 6 DAYS TO GO TO OPENING DAY.
"Oft expectation fails, and most oft where most it promises; and oft it hits where hope is coldest; and despair most sits."
William Shakespeare
As it was undoubtedly for many others, the luster of this weekend's NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament games were dulled somewhat by the war news hitting us constantly and from every angle.
Nevertheless, the games did go on as normal: Dick Vitale did not seem to hyperventilate any less, cheerleaders (especially those on Syracuse) did not seem any less enthused or less provocative, and most of all, my brackets experienced their annual meltdown, liberating me from the anxiety and angst of rooting for teams I don't like or barely know, just because I picked them in my pool. Now I can say with certainty that I'm rooting for an All Big East Final Four. Why not?
*****
One thing even that managed to bring my baseball emotions to the forefront this past week was the remark of a certain waifish and emaciated pitcher for the Boston Red Sox named Pedro Martinez. Martinez, who rarily himself ever stands up at the plate to bat, came to the defense of his equally skinny and cowardly Dominican hermano Guillermo Mota following Mota's back-pedaling, scared schoolgirl act after hitting Mike Piazza in an exhibition game twice in a row. Piazza, whose eyes blazed with an insane fury not unlike those of Nicholson in The Shining as he chased Mota, was criticized by Pedro who felt compelled to try and examine the inner motivations of Piazza's attempt assault on Mota:
"Maybe he felt like he had to show off his testosterone," Martinez said of Piazza. "But this may be more embarrassing than the one before. Why would you go after skinny Guillermo Mota in spring training and do nothing to Roger Clemens in the World Series?"
I've seen Pedro flail away with a baseball bat before, like June 14, 2002 against the Braves. It's painful to watch. Something like a schoolgirl swinging in a coed gym class game. Even Pedro admits it. After that fateful game against Atlanta, striking out twice in three weak at bats, he confessed: "I've got no chance. It seems like I'm lost out there."
Secondly, while Pedro might be well-versed in playing in exhibition games, since he's been in a grand total of ZERO World Series games, I don't think he should comment on how other players, especially players like Piazza, who could easily use Pedro as a toothpick, conduct themselves in the heat of a World Series game.
I used to like Pedro but the more he opens his mouth, the more it becomes apparent that he's better off keeping it shut. Red Sox fans might recall Pedro's remarks last summer about current Met Cliff Floyd after Floyd was traded to the Red Sox in July. Pedro whined and squealed about how the Red Sox didn't need a player like Cliff Floyd. When asked about Cliff Floyd's experience as playing on World Championship team, having a World Championship ring, Pedro replied: "His ring doesn't mean anything."
Yeah. Why would the Red Sox need a player like that when they've won so many World Series' themselves? Likely, Pedro would prefer more Dominican teammates. Mota and his 10-22 career won/loss record. Jose Offerman and his refusal to pinch hit. (Didn't you hear Pedro wax poetic about fellow Dominican Offerman when the clubhouse cancer was on his way out?).
Come to think of it, maybe an all-Dominican team wouldn't be so bad after all. Bartolo Colon, Ramon Ortiz and Pedro heading the starting rotation. Manny Ramirez, Vladimir Guerrero, and Sammy Sosa in the outfield. Miguel Tejada, Albert Pujols, Alfonso Soriano and Cristian Guzman in the infield, Octavio Dotel setting up and Armando Benitez closing. That's pretty much an All-Star team from one little island.
So Pedro, while you sticking up for your fellow Dominicans is admirable, two bits of advice: don't stick up for the crappy ones and don't knock Piazza because frankly, there aren't any Dominican catchers out there as good as him right now.
*****
Favorite quote of the week came from Padres genius GM Kevin Towers:
"You can't score runs unless you get people on base"
What are you talking about? Hey, Towers, ever heard of something called a HOMERUN before?
*****
I'm sure there are plenty of Mets fans out there with pangs of regret that our little punching bag Rey Ordoñez is no longer with the team. Sweet memories flooded over us all when the Mets played Tampa Bay last week and Ordoñez whined about former teammate Roberto Alomar:
"He talked too much -- about me, with the trade. So I want to see that in his face now. Every day, he said something different about me."
The problem with Rey Ordoñez is that he learned to speak English. He's been putting his foot in his mouth ever since.
Tampa Bay manager Lou Piniella said he has noticed that Ordonez has been excellent in the field but that, "offensively, he has been a little overagressive." Hahaha. I guess poor Lou never got to see Rey in action before. Ordoñez is currently hitting a sterling .195 for the Devil Rays.
Provided the war doesn't get too out of hand, hopefully there will time for a baseball preview this week. ONLY 6 DAYS TO GO TO OPENING DAY.
Monday, March 17, 2003
Which Will Last Longer?
An admittedly morbid thought but it strikes me as we approach both the brink of war with Iraq and the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament that I'm not sure which will last longer. Will Baghdad fall before the Texas Longhorns? Will Saddam outlast the Kentucky Wildcats?
Considering the fact that this annual exercise in futility otherwise known as the NCAA Tournament bracket has confounded me year in and year out, I've decided to abolish the traditional efforts of using my limited knowledge of the teams involved and my best efforts at guessing probability charts, point guards and regional advantages for a less scientific approach.
Thus, in the first round, I did the following: took the starting lineups of each team plus their top two reserves and assigned a number system 4 for seniors, 3=juniors, 2=sophomore and 1 for freshmen. That number, plus the amount of victories each team had in the last ten games became each teams' aggregate score. It's called the Experience and Momentum Theory. It's an admittedly flawed system yet no more flawed than pulling out my hair trying to figure which teams will pull off the upsets, which teams will produce as hoped and which teams will fail to show up. Using this system, the following winners advanced:
MIDWEST: Kentucky, Utah, Weber State, Dayton, So. Illinois, Holy Cross, Indiana & Pitt
WEST: Arizona, Gonzaga, Wisc.-Mil., Western Ky., Creighton, Duke, Memphis & Kansas
SOUTH: Texas, LSU, BYU, San Diego, UNC Wilm., Troy State, Colorado & Sam Houston
EAST: Oklahoma, California, Butler, Louisville, Penn, Manhattan, St. Joes, & E. Tenn State.
The glaring weirdness of the system was of course, in the South, which created 6 upsets out of 8 games. The other glaring weirdness was that there were two #15 seeds (Sam Houston and E. Tennessee State)that toppled #2s (Florida and Wake respectively). It isn't likely that both of those #2 seeds will lose but then again, Florida, 6-4 over its last 10 games, isn't exactly cruising into this tournament and Wake Forest is not just very young but also turns the ball over alot. So, possible.
What I was surprised about is that all told, other than the South, there were only 11 upsets out of the 24 other match-ups. And most of those upsets, other than perhaps Western Kentucky over Illinois, were more the result of idiotic and nonsensical seedings than actually hard-to-believe results.
In the SECOND ROUND, I discarded the Experience and Momentum Theory because frankly, it would have produced a Final Four of Weber State, Sam Houston, Wisconsin-Milwaukee and Penn. While in theory, such a result might well reflect the sort of chaotic environment the world is entering into, the likelihood of it actually coming to pass was about as likely as the Knicks winning the World Championship this season and we know how absurd that is.
So, for the second round, I developed a new theory which used the winning percentage of each teams' coach (at that University) coupled with the assist/turnover ratio of each teams' top 7 players. This theory produced the following second round winners:
MIDWEST: Kentucky, Dayton, Holy Cross and Pitt
WEST: Arizona, Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Creighton and Kansas
SOUTH: LSU, San Diego, UNC-Wilmington, and Sam Houston
EAST: Oklahoma, Butler, Penn and St. Joes.
The pattern we see here is of course, the continually skewed East which already had only one top five seed remaining prior to a LSU upset over Texas AND the continued onslaught of those pesky Bearkats of Sam Houston, led by Robert Shannon.
Nevertheless, all but one of the number one seeded teams remained and so despite the upsets, the bracket still wasn't looking too ridiculous to believe.
For the next round, I considered myself lucky that these idiosyncratic methods hadn't produced far worse results and went for the traditional TEAM MASCOT THEORY. This theory of course, pits the likelihood of victory of one mascot over another, by far the most scientific method available to date. The results were tricky, sometimes even difficult:
MIDWEST
KENTUCKY over DAYTON: An easy one. Wildcats over Flyers. Because, "Flyers" being so vague, I could invent whatever definition I wanted. They could be flies, butterflies, feeble birds, even Air Force pilots. I chose butterflies and since I believe a Wildcat can beat a butterfly, Kentucky goes to the next round.
PITT over HOLY CROSS: A no brainer. Panthers over Crusaders. Crusaders were from like, the 13th century and they didn't have very sophisticated weaponry. I think a panther could take them, provided it had the element of surprise.
WEST
ARIZONA over WISCONSIN-MILWAUKEE: A very tough battle between Wildcats and Panthers. Maybe even a double overtime affair. I could have gone with the "wild feline of small to medium size, like a lynx" definition, but I decided instead to use the "workers' strike unauthorized by their union" definition because, well, I can't really fathom Wisconsin-Milwaukee making it past Arizona, even if they are "panthers" because frankly, I'm not really convinced there are any panthers in Milwaukee so perhaps they are the "figment of the imagination Panthers" but such a mascot name is too long for the jerseys. In the end, I figured the battle scene resembled some sort of Hieronymus Bosch-like painting.
KANSAS over CREIGHTON: Another no-brainer. JayHAWKS over the seemingly docile Blue Jays.
SOUTH:
LSU over SAN DIEGO: It got a little interesting for a moment, the battle of the Tigers and the "Toreros" (which means bullfighters in Spanish). Had it been the Chicago BULLS against the Toreros, well, I probably would have gone with San Diego, but I think a tiger is a little smarter than one of those big, ugly bulls isn't going to just prance around while some bullfighter shoves sharps sticks in him.
UNC-WILMINGTON over SAM HOUSTON: It's another tough match: Seahawks against Bearkats but because of the strange spelling of Sam Houston's mascot, I get the impression it's like one of those little retarded bearkats, not a more formidable, fierce one.
EAST:
OKLAHOMA over BUTLER: Sooners were supposed to be tough, ornery settlers. Bulldogs, even if they were pit bulls, can't really take humans, at least not according to my charts. Humans usually defeat dogs.
ST. JOES over PENN: Normally, I'd say humans could take a hawk but in the case of the human in question being a Quaker, who I believe are pretty passive, religious sorts, I'd guess the hawk would get the better of the Quaker.
So, now down to the final 8 teams, I was left with some tough choices and decided to use a new theory once again. This theory is called the TEAM I LIKE THEORY or TILT. This theory is based solely on which team I'd rather play for or whomever I like better, for whatever reason.
MIDWEST:
KENTUCKY over PITT: If Kentucky goes to the Final Four, all hell breaks loose in Kentucky. If Pitt advances, what happens? Another shot and a beer? It's a football town, a fading steel workers town for crissakes, they don't belong getting this far any more than a team like "Vermont" or "Wagner".
WEST:
ARIZONA over KANSAS: Let's just say Lute Olsen is still one of my favorite coaches.
SOUTH:
LSU over NC-Wilmington: I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not rooting for a team with a hyphen in its name. It's just not dignified.
EAST:
OKLAHOMA over ST. JOES: Fact: No school with the name "Saint" anything has every won the NCAA Men's Basketball title and they aren't going to start now.
FINAL FOUR:
ARIZONA over KENTUCKY: Wildcats against the Wildcats. Wildcats win.
OKLAHOMA over LSU: Let's face it, I just don't like the South.
FINAL:
The University of Oklahoma has made it to the NCAA finals twice: In 1947, they lost to Holy Cross, 58-47 and in 1988, they lost to Kansas, 83-79. This year will be an overtime thriller, but Oklahoma will keep its perfect losing record:
ARIZONA 89 OKLAHOMA 86
An admittedly morbid thought but it strikes me as we approach both the brink of war with Iraq and the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament that I'm not sure which will last longer. Will Baghdad fall before the Texas Longhorns? Will Saddam outlast the Kentucky Wildcats?
Considering the fact that this annual exercise in futility otherwise known as the NCAA Tournament bracket has confounded me year in and year out, I've decided to abolish the traditional efforts of using my limited knowledge of the teams involved and my best efforts at guessing probability charts, point guards and regional advantages for a less scientific approach.
Thus, in the first round, I did the following: took the starting lineups of each team plus their top two reserves and assigned a number system 4 for seniors, 3=juniors, 2=sophomore and 1 for freshmen. That number, plus the amount of victories each team had in the last ten games became each teams' aggregate score. It's called the Experience and Momentum Theory. It's an admittedly flawed system yet no more flawed than pulling out my hair trying to figure which teams will pull off the upsets, which teams will produce as hoped and which teams will fail to show up. Using this system, the following winners advanced:
MIDWEST: Kentucky, Utah, Weber State, Dayton, So. Illinois, Holy Cross, Indiana & Pitt
WEST: Arizona, Gonzaga, Wisc.-Mil., Western Ky., Creighton, Duke, Memphis & Kansas
SOUTH: Texas, LSU, BYU, San Diego, UNC Wilm., Troy State, Colorado & Sam Houston
EAST: Oklahoma, California, Butler, Louisville, Penn, Manhattan, St. Joes, & E. Tenn State.
The glaring weirdness of the system was of course, in the South, which created 6 upsets out of 8 games. The other glaring weirdness was that there were two #15 seeds (Sam Houston and E. Tennessee State)that toppled #2s (Florida and Wake respectively). It isn't likely that both of those #2 seeds will lose but then again, Florida, 6-4 over its last 10 games, isn't exactly cruising into this tournament and Wake Forest is not just very young but also turns the ball over alot. So, possible.
What I was surprised about is that all told, other than the South, there were only 11 upsets out of the 24 other match-ups. And most of those upsets, other than perhaps Western Kentucky over Illinois, were more the result of idiotic and nonsensical seedings than actually hard-to-believe results.
In the SECOND ROUND, I discarded the Experience and Momentum Theory because frankly, it would have produced a Final Four of Weber State, Sam Houston, Wisconsin-Milwaukee and Penn. While in theory, such a result might well reflect the sort of chaotic environment the world is entering into, the likelihood of it actually coming to pass was about as likely as the Knicks winning the World Championship this season and we know how absurd that is.
So, for the second round, I developed a new theory which used the winning percentage of each teams' coach (at that University) coupled with the assist/turnover ratio of each teams' top 7 players. This theory produced the following second round winners:
MIDWEST: Kentucky, Dayton, Holy Cross and Pitt
WEST: Arizona, Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Creighton and Kansas
SOUTH: LSU, San Diego, UNC-Wilmington, and Sam Houston
EAST: Oklahoma, Butler, Penn and St. Joes.
The pattern we see here is of course, the continually skewed East which already had only one top five seed remaining prior to a LSU upset over Texas AND the continued onslaught of those pesky Bearkats of Sam Houston, led by Robert Shannon.
Nevertheless, all but one of the number one seeded teams remained and so despite the upsets, the bracket still wasn't looking too ridiculous to believe.
For the next round, I considered myself lucky that these idiosyncratic methods hadn't produced far worse results and went for the traditional TEAM MASCOT THEORY. This theory of course, pits the likelihood of victory of one mascot over another, by far the most scientific method available to date. The results were tricky, sometimes even difficult:
MIDWEST
KENTUCKY over DAYTON: An easy one. Wildcats over Flyers. Because, "Flyers" being so vague, I could invent whatever definition I wanted. They could be flies, butterflies, feeble birds, even Air Force pilots. I chose butterflies and since I believe a Wildcat can beat a butterfly, Kentucky goes to the next round.
PITT over HOLY CROSS: A no brainer. Panthers over Crusaders. Crusaders were from like, the 13th century and they didn't have very sophisticated weaponry. I think a panther could take them, provided it had the element of surprise.
WEST
ARIZONA over WISCONSIN-MILWAUKEE: A very tough battle between Wildcats and Panthers. Maybe even a double overtime affair. I could have gone with the "wild feline of small to medium size, like a lynx" definition, but I decided instead to use the "workers' strike unauthorized by their union" definition because, well, I can't really fathom Wisconsin-Milwaukee making it past Arizona, even if they are "panthers" because frankly, I'm not really convinced there are any panthers in Milwaukee so perhaps they are the "figment of the imagination Panthers" but such a mascot name is too long for the jerseys. In the end, I figured the battle scene resembled some sort of Hieronymus Bosch-like painting.
KANSAS over CREIGHTON: Another no-brainer. JayHAWKS over the seemingly docile Blue Jays.
SOUTH:
LSU over SAN DIEGO: It got a little interesting for a moment, the battle of the Tigers and the "Toreros" (which means bullfighters in Spanish). Had it been the Chicago BULLS against the Toreros, well, I probably would have gone with San Diego, but I think a tiger is a little smarter than one of those big, ugly bulls isn't going to just prance around while some bullfighter shoves sharps sticks in him.
UNC-WILMINGTON over SAM HOUSTON: It's another tough match: Seahawks against Bearkats but because of the strange spelling of Sam Houston's mascot, I get the impression it's like one of those little retarded bearkats, not a more formidable, fierce one.
EAST:
OKLAHOMA over BUTLER: Sooners were supposed to be tough, ornery settlers. Bulldogs, even if they were pit bulls, can't really take humans, at least not according to my charts. Humans usually defeat dogs.
ST. JOES over PENN: Normally, I'd say humans could take a hawk but in the case of the human in question being a Quaker, who I believe are pretty passive, religious sorts, I'd guess the hawk would get the better of the Quaker.
So, now down to the final 8 teams, I was left with some tough choices and decided to use a new theory once again. This theory is called the TEAM I LIKE THEORY or TILT. This theory is based solely on which team I'd rather play for or whomever I like better, for whatever reason.
MIDWEST:
KENTUCKY over PITT: If Kentucky goes to the Final Four, all hell breaks loose in Kentucky. If Pitt advances, what happens? Another shot and a beer? It's a football town, a fading steel workers town for crissakes, they don't belong getting this far any more than a team like "Vermont" or "Wagner".
WEST:
ARIZONA over KANSAS: Let's just say Lute Olsen is still one of my favorite coaches.
SOUTH:
LSU over NC-Wilmington: I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not rooting for a team with a hyphen in its name. It's just not dignified.
EAST:
OKLAHOMA over ST. JOES: Fact: No school with the name "Saint" anything has every won the NCAA Men's Basketball title and they aren't going to start now.
FINAL FOUR:
ARIZONA over KENTUCKY: Wildcats against the Wildcats. Wildcats win.
OKLAHOMA over LSU: Let's face it, I just don't like the South.
FINAL:
The University of Oklahoma has made it to the NCAA finals twice: In 1947, they lost to Holy Cross, 58-47 and in 1988, they lost to Kansas, 83-79. This year will be an overtime thriller, but Oklahoma will keep its perfect losing record:
ARIZONA 89 OKLAHOMA 86
Friday, March 14, 2003
Sports Catatonia
Many of you have been there before. A churrascaria rodizio, all-out fleshfest, a revolving barbeque where a variety of meats are cooked on three-foot swords over open-wood fires in the restaurant's kitchen. Then the swords are brought to diners' tables. The server puts the tip of the sword on a patron's plate, asks the customer how many pieces of meat he or she desires, and then slides the food off the sword and onto the plate. This goes on and on, over and over, until you can take no more, until your stomach is ready to erupt from over consumption and a dizzy haze clouds your eyes from the fatigue of eating. And so it also happens in sports, twice a year, a sporting rodizio of sorts.
Perhaps the finest satiation of sports comes in October. Last year for instance saw the American and National League Division Series Playoff Games as well as the World Series, NFL football games, NCAA football games, the MLS Championship, and the beginning of the NBA and the NHL seasons. On a given weekend one could literally sit hours in a catatonic stupor, clicking channels, staring at the screen until the eyes grew blurry and red, opening beer after beer, consuming chip after chip, and watching the world of spectator sports in all its splendor.
We now arrive in March to the second incident of sports catatonia: March Madness, followed by everyone with their little office pools from secretaries to CEOs, janitors to lawyers, policemen to grammar school teachers. And because this is America, because nothing is ever enough, March Madness joins with the NHL and NBA playoff races making both sports quasi-interesting for the first time since their season's onset, and then, the whipped cream and the cherry on top, baseball creeping forward, exhibition after exhibition until the madness bursts through with everyone's opening days.
The mere quantity however, should not be confused with the excitement nearly each episode brings. How else could I find myself last night spastically channel flipping between 4 different, yet simultaneous conference tournament matchups, a baseball exhibition game, an NBA matchup with playoff implications, and, mystery of mysteries, a NY Rangers overtime match which essentially castrated their playoff hopes?
In times like these, but for the sporting melodramas, the house grows dim as people and pets alike are ignored, phones go unanswered, calls go unreturned, the computer finally gets a rest, and food delivery bills mount with each passing hour.
Are the specifics so enticing? Is life made or broken by the outcome of the Seton Hall-Connecticut match, regardless of the seeding implications? Will the success or failure of civilization hinge upon whether or not the Red Storm is knocked from the Big Dance or if the Nets reassert their presence by knocking the Celtics down a peg or two, or if the contumelious plague of the Yankees over the Red Sox continues, even in spring training games? Of course not.
But just like Piazza tearing after that shameless knave of a pitcher with the 5-11 lifetime record named Mota with a feverish, homicidal rage in his eyes after being plunked yet again, such things might not matter in the larger scheme of things but it doesn't make it any less emotional.
So when the Mets meet the Dodgers twice more this coming weekend and the major conferences hold their tournament finals, the world will know where to find me: planted fanatically in front of all the televisions, surrounded by the sound of sports, and tunnel vision-focused.
Many of you have been there before. A churrascaria rodizio, all-out fleshfest, a revolving barbeque where a variety of meats are cooked on three-foot swords over open-wood fires in the restaurant's kitchen. Then the swords are brought to diners' tables. The server puts the tip of the sword on a patron's plate, asks the customer how many pieces of meat he or she desires, and then slides the food off the sword and onto the plate. This goes on and on, over and over, until you can take no more, until your stomach is ready to erupt from over consumption and a dizzy haze clouds your eyes from the fatigue of eating. And so it also happens in sports, twice a year, a sporting rodizio of sorts.
Perhaps the finest satiation of sports comes in October. Last year for instance saw the American and National League Division Series Playoff Games as well as the World Series, NFL football games, NCAA football games, the MLS Championship, and the beginning of the NBA and the NHL seasons. On a given weekend one could literally sit hours in a catatonic stupor, clicking channels, staring at the screen until the eyes grew blurry and red, opening beer after beer, consuming chip after chip, and watching the world of spectator sports in all its splendor.
We now arrive in March to the second incident of sports catatonia: March Madness, followed by everyone with their little office pools from secretaries to CEOs, janitors to lawyers, policemen to grammar school teachers. And because this is America, because nothing is ever enough, March Madness joins with the NHL and NBA playoff races making both sports quasi-interesting for the first time since their season's onset, and then, the whipped cream and the cherry on top, baseball creeping forward, exhibition after exhibition until the madness bursts through with everyone's opening days.
The mere quantity however, should not be confused with the excitement nearly each episode brings. How else could I find myself last night spastically channel flipping between 4 different, yet simultaneous conference tournament matchups, a baseball exhibition game, an NBA matchup with playoff implications, and, mystery of mysteries, a NY Rangers overtime match which essentially castrated their playoff hopes?
In times like these, but for the sporting melodramas, the house grows dim as people and pets alike are ignored, phones go unanswered, calls go unreturned, the computer finally gets a rest, and food delivery bills mount with each passing hour.
Are the specifics so enticing? Is life made or broken by the outcome of the Seton Hall-Connecticut match, regardless of the seeding implications? Will the success or failure of civilization hinge upon whether or not the Red Storm is knocked from the Big Dance or if the Nets reassert their presence by knocking the Celtics down a peg or two, or if the contumelious plague of the Yankees over the Red Sox continues, even in spring training games? Of course not.
But just like Piazza tearing after that shameless knave of a pitcher with the 5-11 lifetime record named Mota with a feverish, homicidal rage in his eyes after being plunked yet again, such things might not matter in the larger scheme of things but it doesn't make it any less emotional.
So when the Mets meet the Dodgers twice more this coming weekend and the major conferences hold their tournament finals, the world will know where to find me: planted fanatically in front of all the televisions, surrounded by the sound of sports, and tunnel vision-focused.
Wednesday, March 12, 2003
Spring Fever
Although it's often cited that spring training statistics are meaningless and perhaps even deceptive, that to get excited about some no-name tossing days of shutout innings or some Bunyanesque phenom hitting hours of home runs is a a waste of time or a puerile antic, this spring's stats to date are providing some surprising consistencies.
First of all, Junior, leading the spring training leagues, has plugged 5 homers to date, 3 of them in one game. Alot of people have been down on Junior for the last several years because of injuries and a myriad of unfulfilled prophesies but after the humiliation of almost being dumped on the Padres but for the protests of Phil Nevin, after suffering the boobirds and the backroom innuendos that he was washed up, Junior appears to be ready to repay the doubters.
Junior is tied for the homer lead with a guy named Todd Sears for the Twins. Admittedly, Sears is no household name but he's no slouch either. A few years ago, the Twins picked him up from the Colorado Rockies for Todd Walker and Butch Huskey. Last season, playing at AAA Edmonton, he hit .310 with 20 homers and 100 rbis before being called up at the end of the year. He's 6'5 215 but plays first base and will have to beat out Doug Mientkiewicz if he wants to break out in the bigs this season.
After Sears, come Pujols, Aramis Ramirez of Pittsburgh (who hit 34 homers two years ago)and, Barry Bonds. Here's hoping, if spring homers can be any measure of the season to come, that Junior and Bonds go neck and neck all season in the race to 74.
And look who is leading the spring in hitting. Mike Sweeney of the lowly Royals. Hardly a surprise considering he hit .340 last season. Well, perhaps a surprise that he's hitting .500 so far. Probably can't keep it up all season.
However, two things not to expect to continue out of the spring: Toronto 2B Orlando Hudson hitting .435 the rest of the season or teammate SS/2B Russ Adams making the team, even if he continues hitting .409 all spring.
As far as pitching goes, Al Leiter and Bartolo Colon are two pitchers tied for the lead with three wins so far in the spring. Does it mean they'll be the Cy Young winners for their respective leagues? Doubtful, but Leiter, at least, should have a good season considering how well he responds to the challenge of having a second "ace" in the rotation. He went 16-8 with a 3.20 ERA when the enigmatic traitor Mike Hampton was on the staff the year the Mets won the NL Championship.
The real question as far as pitchers go this spring is should anyone be getting excited about Elmer Dessens? Well, I don't think Randy Johnson or Curt Schilling will be worried about losing their respective spots in the rotation but Dessens is 3-0 and hasn't given up a run yet in 10 innings of work. Imagine if he really does have that kind of season: A one, two, three rotation might spell an early pennant clinching for the Diamondbacks if they can ever find someone on the team who can hit the ball out of the infield.
It's hard to get excited about someone who isn't even on the Major League spring training roster, but the Mets drafted a pitcher last year by the name of Scott Kazmir, the steal of the 2002 draft. Kazmir was named the 2002 High School Player of the Year by Baseball America after he went 11-2 with an 0.37 ERA and 172 strikeouts in 74.2 innings for Cypress Falls HS (TX). He was equally impressive in his stint with the Brooklyn Cyclones, striking out 34 batters in just 18 innings of work, with an 0.50 ERA and holding opposing batters to a miniscule .089 batting average. You can be sure I'll be taking the N train over to Key Span Park in Coney Island when he's pitching this year, if he lasts there very long before moving up.
Believe it or not, the Newark Star Ledger reports somewhere out there is a Major League team dumb and desperate enough to take Jeremy Burnitz off our hands and no, it isn't the Washington Redskins!
Apparently, the Padres have offered outfielder Bubba Trammell and starter Kevin Jarvis for strikeout specialist Burnitz and before they come to their senses, that birdbrained GM Steve Phillips should take them up on it. Although coming off an elbow injury and a fatter-than-deserved contract, Jarvis could fill right in for the #4 or #5 spot in the rotation while Trammell is a decent utility outfielder. Burnitz, as we know, is hitting a glorious .150 this spring and takes pride in his strength as a whiff artist.
Lastly, whatever happened to former One on One sports radio personality John Renshaw? He appears to have vanished off the face of the earth. It was rumored he had hooked up with Fox Sports radio on a weekend gig, but after searching through their website, I couldn't find any verification of it. Let's hope he isn't rotting away in rehab somewhere.
Although it's often cited that spring training statistics are meaningless and perhaps even deceptive, that to get excited about some no-name tossing days of shutout innings or some Bunyanesque phenom hitting hours of home runs is a a waste of time or a puerile antic, this spring's stats to date are providing some surprising consistencies.
First of all, Junior, leading the spring training leagues, has plugged 5 homers to date, 3 of them in one game. Alot of people have been down on Junior for the last several years because of injuries and a myriad of unfulfilled prophesies but after the humiliation of almost being dumped on the Padres but for the protests of Phil Nevin, after suffering the boobirds and the backroom innuendos that he was washed up, Junior appears to be ready to repay the doubters.
Junior is tied for the homer lead with a guy named Todd Sears for the Twins. Admittedly, Sears is no household name but he's no slouch either. A few years ago, the Twins picked him up from the Colorado Rockies for Todd Walker and Butch Huskey. Last season, playing at AAA Edmonton, he hit .310 with 20 homers and 100 rbis before being called up at the end of the year. He's 6'5 215 but plays first base and will have to beat out Doug Mientkiewicz if he wants to break out in the bigs this season.
After Sears, come Pujols, Aramis Ramirez of Pittsburgh (who hit 34 homers two years ago)and, Barry Bonds. Here's hoping, if spring homers can be any measure of the season to come, that Junior and Bonds go neck and neck all season in the race to 74.
And look who is leading the spring in hitting. Mike Sweeney of the lowly Royals. Hardly a surprise considering he hit .340 last season. Well, perhaps a surprise that he's hitting .500 so far. Probably can't keep it up all season.
However, two things not to expect to continue out of the spring: Toronto 2B Orlando Hudson hitting .435 the rest of the season or teammate SS/2B Russ Adams making the team, even if he continues hitting .409 all spring.
As far as pitching goes, Al Leiter and Bartolo Colon are two pitchers tied for the lead with three wins so far in the spring. Does it mean they'll be the Cy Young winners for their respective leagues? Doubtful, but Leiter, at least, should have a good season considering how well he responds to the challenge of having a second "ace" in the rotation. He went 16-8 with a 3.20 ERA when the enigmatic traitor Mike Hampton was on the staff the year the Mets won the NL Championship.
The real question as far as pitchers go this spring is should anyone be getting excited about Elmer Dessens? Well, I don't think Randy Johnson or Curt Schilling will be worried about losing their respective spots in the rotation but Dessens is 3-0 and hasn't given up a run yet in 10 innings of work. Imagine if he really does have that kind of season: A one, two, three rotation might spell an early pennant clinching for the Diamondbacks if they can ever find someone on the team who can hit the ball out of the infield.
It's hard to get excited about someone who isn't even on the Major League spring training roster, but the Mets drafted a pitcher last year by the name of Scott Kazmir, the steal of the 2002 draft. Kazmir was named the 2002 High School Player of the Year by Baseball America after he went 11-2 with an 0.37 ERA and 172 strikeouts in 74.2 innings for Cypress Falls HS (TX). He was equally impressive in his stint with the Brooklyn Cyclones, striking out 34 batters in just 18 innings of work, with an 0.50 ERA and holding opposing batters to a miniscule .089 batting average. You can be sure I'll be taking the N train over to Key Span Park in Coney Island when he's pitching this year, if he lasts there very long before moving up.
Believe it or not, the Newark Star Ledger reports somewhere out there is a Major League team dumb and desperate enough to take Jeremy Burnitz off our hands and no, it isn't the Washington Redskins!
Apparently, the Padres have offered outfielder Bubba Trammell and starter Kevin Jarvis for strikeout specialist Burnitz and before they come to their senses, that birdbrained GM Steve Phillips should take them up on it. Although coming off an elbow injury and a fatter-than-deserved contract, Jarvis could fill right in for the #4 or #5 spot in the rotation while Trammell is a decent utility outfielder. Burnitz, as we know, is hitting a glorious .150 this spring and takes pride in his strength as a whiff artist.
Lastly, whatever happened to former One on One sports radio personality John Renshaw? He appears to have vanished off the face of the earth. It was rumored he had hooked up with Fox Sports radio on a weekend gig, but after searching through their website, I couldn't find any verification of it. Let's hope he isn't rotting away in rehab somewhere.
Monday, March 10, 2003
What Team Would Jesus Manage?
"I would say Dusty certainly earned the right to manage the team. On merit he deserves it. But we'll make the final decision in the spring." -- Baseball commissioner Bud Selig on whether current Cubs and former San Francisco manager Dusty Baker will manage the National League in the All-Star Game.
Although I thought it was smart of the Cubs to sign Dusty Baker to be their manager this season, apparently, in Lakeland, where seemingly every church has a sign out front, one advertised an interesting topic for its sermon this Sunday: "What if Jesus ran the Chicago Cubs?"
What if he ran the Cubs? Would that automatically mean the end to the Cubs' 94 year World Champioship drought? Would there be night games at Wrigley without lights? Would the beer and hotdogs be replaced with wine and wafers? And more importantly, would he allow Sammy to blast his salsa music in the lockerroom to the annoyance of everyone else?
*****
Be glad you're not a Detroit Tigers fan. First, Jeff Weaver was dumped to the Yankees, then they let Robert Fick jump to the Braves and now it appears the Tigers are ready to let Matt Anderson, their 26 year old closer with the 100 mph arm, go to the highest bidder.
The Tigers didn't like Weaver because he complained about the ownership and made too much money. Now he's pitching so well, don't be surprised to see him leap-frog past Jose Contreras the Cubano chicane who at the current rate of gracelessness, couldn't retire the side of the Pawtucket Slaterettes, and David Wells, who needs an instant turn around to redeem himself in the eyes of his teammates and Bud "Not Now I'm Sleeping" Selig for his transgressions. With one injury, Weaver might well be the #2 starter on the staff.
The Tigers didn't like Fick because he was plagued by rumors of excessive drinking and someone who partied too much which he now claims he's stopped. He says of Atlanta: "With the guys they've got over here, you better be ready to play when you come to the ballpark," which leads one to believe that the guys in Detroit are better at beer bongs than at laying down bunts.
Now the issue is Matt Anderson, who admittedly is coming off a right shoulder muscle tear and has a career 4.84 ERA. But Anderson is only 26 and still registers triple digits on the gun. Potentially, he could become a devastating closer or set-up man but the Tigers want him out. According to the
Detroit Free Press, he won't be in Detroit by season's end. To replace him, they've got the nose tackle closer Franklyn German who at 6'4, 265, is probably the last guy to leave the clubhouse buffet table but is still labeled as their future star closer. This is Fat Sid Fernandez just waiting to blossum.
Someone to keep an eye on might be Indians starter Ricardo Rodriguez.
"Ricardo has been outstanding," Indians GM Mark Shapiro said. "He has a great sinking fastball, a good change-up and he's been working on his breaking ball." Rodriguez is 1-0 with 1.00 ERA so far this Spring. He shut out Jim Thome and the Phillies for four innings in Saturday's 7-1 victory.
*****
Hee Seop Choi Update: "I see a player that possibly could hit 25 to 30 home runs," Hall of Famer Billy Williams said about Choi. To date, Choi is hitting .350 in 9 homerless games. Eric Karros, his main competition, has had just two at bats so far this Spring because of a bad bout with bronchitis.
*****
The bizarre raid of the New York Jets roster by the Washington Redskins continued yesterday when the Redskins announced they'd reached a tentative agreement on a contract offer sheet with restricted free-agentwide receiver Laveranues Coles. Coles agreed to a seven-year contract worth about $35 million, including a signing bonus of approximately $13 million. The Redskins would owe the Jets their first-round pick -- the 13th overall in the draft -- as compensation. Lucky for the Jets, QB Chad Pennington's contract is good through 2005.
*****
How do you spell quitters? Cleveland Cavaliers, that's how. Three of their past five games have been 26-point losses and they appear well on their way to the worst record in team history. The good news is, even the team with the worst record has only a 1-in-4 chance of ending up with the first draft pick so this horrific play down the stretch guarantees nothing but the fact they'd have a better chance reaching .500 in the WNBA.
However, since they are going to remain in the NBA, their coaching problem will have to be resolved. Interim coach Keith Smart is 3-18. Not the kind of numbers that get you a return contract. To date, Mike Dunleavy and Suns assistant Marc Iavaroni are at the top of their list.
After August, Jeff Van Gundy is a free man and anyone with a coaching vacancy who isn't knocking his door down to get him isn't serious about winning. Given the tradition in Cleveland, Van Gundy probably isn't a big enough loser to merit consideration but even with owner Gordon Gund a slim bet at best to spend the bucks to lure a big name coach to Cleveland, what if they actually did manage to win LeBron and the little child king LeBron doesn't like the coach? You see, the quagmire is simply too complicated to overcome. Look for the Cavaliers to be losers for many more exciting years to come.
Speaking of losers, looks like the Wizards are just about out for the count following a pathetic loss to the Knicks with Michael Jordan rightfully complaining afterwards about the hustle of his younger teammates and Stackhouse whining about not being able to toss up enough bricks because Michael was doing all the shooting. Stackhouse of course, was 1 for 7 from the field. I guess he needed another 30 shots to get warmed up. "What we’re doing right now ain’t for me" Stackhouse wailed in the lockerroom afterwards. Must be, Jerry, not enough "me".
So maybe he'd better ask himself, "how many shots would Jesus take?"
"I would say Dusty certainly earned the right to manage the team. On merit he deserves it. But we'll make the final decision in the spring." -- Baseball commissioner Bud Selig on whether current Cubs and former San Francisco manager Dusty Baker will manage the National League in the All-Star Game.
Although I thought it was smart of the Cubs to sign Dusty Baker to be their manager this season, apparently, in Lakeland, where seemingly every church has a sign out front, one advertised an interesting topic for its sermon this Sunday: "What if Jesus ran the Chicago Cubs?"
What if he ran the Cubs? Would that automatically mean the end to the Cubs' 94 year World Champioship drought? Would there be night games at Wrigley without lights? Would the beer and hotdogs be replaced with wine and wafers? And more importantly, would he allow Sammy to blast his salsa music in the lockerroom to the annoyance of everyone else?
*****
Be glad you're not a Detroit Tigers fan. First, Jeff Weaver was dumped to the Yankees, then they let Robert Fick jump to the Braves and now it appears the Tigers are ready to let Matt Anderson, their 26 year old closer with the 100 mph arm, go to the highest bidder.
The Tigers didn't like Weaver because he complained about the ownership and made too much money. Now he's pitching so well, don't be surprised to see him leap-frog past Jose Contreras the Cubano chicane who at the current rate of gracelessness, couldn't retire the side of the Pawtucket Slaterettes, and David Wells, who needs an instant turn around to redeem himself in the eyes of his teammates and Bud "Not Now I'm Sleeping" Selig for his transgressions. With one injury, Weaver might well be the #2 starter on the staff.
The Tigers didn't like Fick because he was plagued by rumors of excessive drinking and someone who partied too much which he now claims he's stopped. He says of Atlanta: "With the guys they've got over here, you better be ready to play when you come to the ballpark," which leads one to believe that the guys in Detroit are better at beer bongs than at laying down bunts.
Now the issue is Matt Anderson, who admittedly is coming off a right shoulder muscle tear and has a career 4.84 ERA. But Anderson is only 26 and still registers triple digits on the gun. Potentially, he could become a devastating closer or set-up man but the Tigers want him out. According to the
Detroit Free Press, he won't be in Detroit by season's end. To replace him, they've got the nose tackle closer Franklyn German who at 6'4, 265, is probably the last guy to leave the clubhouse buffet table but is still labeled as their future star closer. This is Fat Sid Fernandez just waiting to blossum.
Someone to keep an eye on might be Indians starter Ricardo Rodriguez.
"Ricardo has been outstanding," Indians GM Mark Shapiro said. "He has a great sinking fastball, a good change-up and he's been working on his breaking ball." Rodriguez is 1-0 with 1.00 ERA so far this Spring. He shut out Jim Thome and the Phillies for four innings in Saturday's 7-1 victory.
*****
Hee Seop Choi Update: "I see a player that possibly could hit 25 to 30 home runs," Hall of Famer Billy Williams said about Choi. To date, Choi is hitting .350 in 9 homerless games. Eric Karros, his main competition, has had just two at bats so far this Spring because of a bad bout with bronchitis.
*****
The bizarre raid of the New York Jets roster by the Washington Redskins continued yesterday when the Redskins announced they'd reached a tentative agreement on a contract offer sheet with restricted free-agentwide receiver Laveranues Coles. Coles agreed to a seven-year contract worth about $35 million, including a signing bonus of approximately $13 million. The Redskins would owe the Jets their first-round pick -- the 13th overall in the draft -- as compensation. Lucky for the Jets, QB Chad Pennington's contract is good through 2005.
*****
How do you spell quitters? Cleveland Cavaliers, that's how. Three of their past five games have been 26-point losses and they appear well on their way to the worst record in team history. The good news is, even the team with the worst record has only a 1-in-4 chance of ending up with the first draft pick so this horrific play down the stretch guarantees nothing but the fact they'd have a better chance reaching .500 in the WNBA.
However, since they are going to remain in the NBA, their coaching problem will have to be resolved. Interim coach Keith Smart is 3-18. Not the kind of numbers that get you a return contract. To date, Mike Dunleavy and Suns assistant Marc Iavaroni are at the top of their list.
After August, Jeff Van Gundy is a free man and anyone with a coaching vacancy who isn't knocking his door down to get him isn't serious about winning. Given the tradition in Cleveland, Van Gundy probably isn't a big enough loser to merit consideration but even with owner Gordon Gund a slim bet at best to spend the bucks to lure a big name coach to Cleveland, what if they actually did manage to win LeBron and the little child king LeBron doesn't like the coach? You see, the quagmire is simply too complicated to overcome. Look for the Cavaliers to be losers for many more exciting years to come.
Speaking of losers, looks like the Wizards are just about out for the count following a pathetic loss to the Knicks with Michael Jordan rightfully complaining afterwards about the hustle of his younger teammates and Stackhouse whining about not being able to toss up enough bricks because Michael was doing all the shooting. Stackhouse of course, was 1 for 7 from the field. I guess he needed another 30 shots to get warmed up. "What we’re doing right now ain’t for me" Stackhouse wailed in the lockerroom afterwards. Must be, Jerry, not enough "me".
So maybe he'd better ask himself, "how many shots would Jesus take?"
Friday, March 07, 2003
Say Hello To The Washington Jets?
With yesterday's signing of standout kick returner Chad Morton to a five-year, $7.95 million offer sheet, at the current rate, the Washington Redskins will have signed the entirety of the New York Jets roster, well ahead of the September 4th deadline, when The New York Jets will play at Washington in the NFL's season opener.
Earlier, Jets guard Randy Thomas, then Jets kicker John Hall signed deals with the Redskins who, to date, have signed eight unrestricted free agents since last Friday and are attempting to sign wide receiver Kevin Dyson, an unrestricted free agent from the Tennessee Titans. Time will tell if The Danny ever learned from his last bout of overindulgence with free agents. As Thomas Edison once mused: "I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.'
*****
The first scab of Spring Training has been ripped off the flesh of the Mets and look what we find underneath: Pedro Astacio complaining of recurring bicep tendinitis in the front of his right shoulder. Since before the day he signed, Astacio had skeptics wondering when his right shoulder would give out due to a partially torn labrum and it looks like his day of reckoning is fast approaching.
What that means for the Mets is that shortly, their two top starters will be 37 years old, their number three starter may be out for the season, they've got a number four starter with a career 90-108 won-loss record and if we're lucky, a 40-year old David Cone as a fifth starter. I can't tell if this is a starting rotation or an open audition for a new reality tv show called "Get me out of this nursing home!"
Oh well, if all else fails, there's always Jae Weong Seo to the rescue.
And although I beseeched the Baseball Gods all winter long to convince the Mets to dump Armando Benitez before his market value bottoms out, there he was, the King of the Choke, doing his best beached-Mo Vaughn imitation out there in the Florida sun. Frankly, unless three or four Mets starters have career seasons at the plate and the Mets can average about 15 runs a game, there probably won't be much need for Benitez to roll out from the bullpen when it counts this year.
It's funny. Yesterday you had Tom Glavine discussing the kind of adjustments he has to get used to with Piazza and his fielders. Reportedly, the Mets planned on pulling out old scouting reports that included Atlanta's defensive alignment with Glavine pitching. Perhaps the Mets should focus more on teaching Wigginton to play third base without flubbing every third ball hit to him and Cedeño to well, to just try not to get hurt out there in center. Glavine, no doubt, will have to incorporate a new pitching theory that utilizes the kind of Laurel and Hardy fielding the Mets have demonstrated to date.
*****
And yes, we've all heard by now that Roger Clemens sister thinks she can kick David Wells' ass:
"He better look out for himself in the hallway. She (Clemens' middle sister) might hit him upside the head with a set of car keys. She's pretty upset with him. I'd have to look out for Boomer,"
Ouch.
And if she can't do it, certainly Rocco Graziosa's sister can.
With yesterday's signing of standout kick returner Chad Morton to a five-year, $7.95 million offer sheet, at the current rate, the Washington Redskins will have signed the entirety of the New York Jets roster, well ahead of the September 4th deadline, when The New York Jets will play at Washington in the NFL's season opener.
Earlier, Jets guard Randy Thomas, then Jets kicker John Hall signed deals with the Redskins who, to date, have signed eight unrestricted free agents since last Friday and are attempting to sign wide receiver Kevin Dyson, an unrestricted free agent from the Tennessee Titans. Time will tell if The Danny ever learned from his last bout of overindulgence with free agents. As Thomas Edison once mused: "I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work.'
*****
The first scab of Spring Training has been ripped off the flesh of the Mets and look what we find underneath: Pedro Astacio complaining of recurring bicep tendinitis in the front of his right shoulder. Since before the day he signed, Astacio had skeptics wondering when his right shoulder would give out due to a partially torn labrum and it looks like his day of reckoning is fast approaching.
What that means for the Mets is that shortly, their two top starters will be 37 years old, their number three starter may be out for the season, they've got a number four starter with a career 90-108 won-loss record and if we're lucky, a 40-year old David Cone as a fifth starter. I can't tell if this is a starting rotation or an open audition for a new reality tv show called "Get me out of this nursing home!"
Oh well, if all else fails, there's always Jae Weong Seo to the rescue.
And although I beseeched the Baseball Gods all winter long to convince the Mets to dump Armando Benitez before his market value bottoms out, there he was, the King of the Choke, doing his best beached-Mo Vaughn imitation out there in the Florida sun. Frankly, unless three or four Mets starters have career seasons at the plate and the Mets can average about 15 runs a game, there probably won't be much need for Benitez to roll out from the bullpen when it counts this year.
It's funny. Yesterday you had Tom Glavine discussing the kind of adjustments he has to get used to with Piazza and his fielders. Reportedly, the Mets planned on pulling out old scouting reports that included Atlanta's defensive alignment with Glavine pitching. Perhaps the Mets should focus more on teaching Wigginton to play third base without flubbing every third ball hit to him and Cedeño to well, to just try not to get hurt out there in center. Glavine, no doubt, will have to incorporate a new pitching theory that utilizes the kind of Laurel and Hardy fielding the Mets have demonstrated to date.
*****
And yes, we've all heard by now that Roger Clemens sister thinks she can kick David Wells' ass:
"He better look out for himself in the hallway. She (Clemens' middle sister) might hit him upside the head with a set of car keys. She's pretty upset with him. I'd have to look out for Boomer,"
Ouch.
And if she can't do it, certainly Rocco Graziosa's sister can.
Thursday, March 06, 2003
America's Pele?
Pele made his sensational international debut as a 17-year-old in the 1958 World Cup in Sweden when he scored six goals in just four games. Last night saw the debut of the future of American soccer, the youngest player ever to represent U.S. soccer in world competition and this 13 year old phenom needed only five minutes to make an impact.
Freddy Adu, someone U.S. soccer has never seen the likes of, set up a goal in the fifth minute and scored on an impressive individual effort in the closing moments as the U.S. under-17 national team defeated Jamaica, 3-0, at the world championship qualifying tournament.
Adu set up Corey Ashe for the game’s opener, as Ashe first-timed Adu’s cross home from six yards out. Adu received the ball on the left side of the penalty area, and beat one defender before getting into the area. Adu did one stepover to beat a defender and got to the endline, where he sent the ball across the face of the goal, and Ashe wasted no time in volleying it home.
Late in the match, Jamaica keeper Kerr Duwayne forced Adu wide of the goal, where he wan’t able to get off a shot. Instead, Freddy turned and doubled back to the center of the penalty area. Slaloming through three Jamaican defenders, he set himself for a shot 12 yards from goal, and hammered the ball past a stunned Kerr.
Just last month, playing in a preseason exhibition against the MSL's Chicago Fire, Adu scored both of the under-17 national team's goals, including the game winner.
An excellent student, Adu skipped seventh grade, so he was a high school freshman this fall and amassed 25 goals and 12 assists in 16 games on varsity, leading them to the state title.
Last year, when he was "only" 12 years old, traditional Italian powerhouse AC Milan offered his family $750,000 to sign him.
So what makes this kid so special? All the prodigious talents you would expect of a 13 year old playing on the international level; breakneck speed, amazing acceleration, miraculous field vision and deceptive strength for a 5-foot-8, 150 pounder. More importantly, he possesses that critical ability to keep the ball on his foot, even under intense pressure, as if it were dangling from a string. He can emerge from a sprint, pull the ball behind him and loft a beautiful 30-foot, left-footed pass directly on a teammate's head. He can dash at full speed with the ball yet it is never far enough ahead for an opponent to steal it.
"I see him do things I haven’t seen the pros do," says U.S. coach John Ellinger.
"He has an unflinching confidence with the ball," marveled Dave Sarachan, the coach of MLS’s Chicago Fire. "Speed kills, and if you give him any room, he’ll break down your defenders."
Lest you think soccer is his only forté, in his first organized basketball game two years ago, a jayvee contest for The Heights School in Potomac, Freddy scored 28 points. On the first golf hole he ever played, a 370-yard par-4, Freddy reached the green in two and two-putted for par. In his first art competition as a fifth-grader, his drawing won the top county prize.
In other words, there ain't much this kid can't do.
So naturally, already, talk turns to the future.
America has only recently begun producing strong attacking players with the flair that is the hallmark of the world’s greatest soccer nations. This past summer a pair of flashy 20-year-olds, Landon Donovan and DaMarcus Beasley, helped the United States to a quarterfinal berth at the World Cup, its best showing since 1930.
By the time the next World Cup comes around in 2006, Freddy will be 17 years old, the same age as Pele was when he made his debut. If what he has shown to date is any indication, there might be a day in the future not only when Freddy Adu is the greatest soccer player in the world, but when he has elevated America soccer to one of the best in the world as well.
Pele made his sensational international debut as a 17-year-old in the 1958 World Cup in Sweden when he scored six goals in just four games. Last night saw the debut of the future of American soccer, the youngest player ever to represent U.S. soccer in world competition and this 13 year old phenom needed only five minutes to make an impact.
Freddy Adu, someone U.S. soccer has never seen the likes of, set up a goal in the fifth minute and scored on an impressive individual effort in the closing moments as the U.S. under-17 national team defeated Jamaica, 3-0, at the world championship qualifying tournament.
Adu set up Corey Ashe for the game’s opener, as Ashe first-timed Adu’s cross home from six yards out. Adu received the ball on the left side of the penalty area, and beat one defender before getting into the area. Adu did one stepover to beat a defender and got to the endline, where he sent the ball across the face of the goal, and Ashe wasted no time in volleying it home.
Late in the match, Jamaica keeper Kerr Duwayne forced Adu wide of the goal, where he wan’t able to get off a shot. Instead, Freddy turned and doubled back to the center of the penalty area. Slaloming through three Jamaican defenders, he set himself for a shot 12 yards from goal, and hammered the ball past a stunned Kerr.
Just last month, playing in a preseason exhibition against the MSL's Chicago Fire, Adu scored both of the under-17 national team's goals, including the game winner.
An excellent student, Adu skipped seventh grade, so he was a high school freshman this fall and amassed 25 goals and 12 assists in 16 games on varsity, leading them to the state title.
Last year, when he was "only" 12 years old, traditional Italian powerhouse AC Milan offered his family $750,000 to sign him.
So what makes this kid so special? All the prodigious talents you would expect of a 13 year old playing on the international level; breakneck speed, amazing acceleration, miraculous field vision and deceptive strength for a 5-foot-8, 150 pounder. More importantly, he possesses that critical ability to keep the ball on his foot, even under intense pressure, as if it were dangling from a string. He can emerge from a sprint, pull the ball behind him and loft a beautiful 30-foot, left-footed pass directly on a teammate's head. He can dash at full speed with the ball yet it is never far enough ahead for an opponent to steal it.
"I see him do things I haven’t seen the pros do," says U.S. coach John Ellinger.
"He has an unflinching confidence with the ball," marveled Dave Sarachan, the coach of MLS’s Chicago Fire. "Speed kills, and if you give him any room, he’ll break down your defenders."
Lest you think soccer is his only forté, in his first organized basketball game two years ago, a jayvee contest for The Heights School in Potomac, Freddy scored 28 points. On the first golf hole he ever played, a 370-yard par-4, Freddy reached the green in two and two-putted for par. In his first art competition as a fifth-grader, his drawing won the top county prize.
In other words, there ain't much this kid can't do.
So naturally, already, talk turns to the future.
America has only recently begun producing strong attacking players with the flair that is the hallmark of the world’s greatest soccer nations. This past summer a pair of flashy 20-year-olds, Landon Donovan and DaMarcus Beasley, helped the United States to a quarterfinal berth at the World Cup, its best showing since 1930.
By the time the next World Cup comes around in 2006, Freddy will be 17 years old, the same age as Pele was when he made his debut. If what he has shown to date is any indication, there might be a day in the future not only when Freddy Adu is the greatest soccer player in the world, but when he has elevated America soccer to one of the best in the world as well.
Tuesday, March 04, 2003
Wells Has Run Dry
In a spring training already rife with controversy over the death of Orioles' pitcher Steve Bechler and an accompanying debate over the use of the substance ephedra, the foremost foot-in-mouth disease expert David Wells has finally weighed in:
"As of right now, I'd estimate 25 to 40 percent of all major leaguers are juiced. But that number's fast rising." Wells wrote in "Perfect I'm Not! Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches and Baseball", an autobiography scheduled for release next month. Although Wells has since tailed off the quotes of his own autobiography, only last year Jose Canseco estimated up to 85 percent of major leaguers used steroids, and Ken Caminiti said half did before retracting his statement, saying he thought the percentage was far lower.
Between steroids, amphetemines and ephedra, today's baseball aspirants may well be better served studying pharmacology than attending baseball school.
As everyone's probably already heard, Wells didn't limit his stupidity to one category. In that same autobiography he wrote that he was "half-drunk" when he pitched his perfect game in 1998. While this might be a great service to teammate Derek Jeter, already criticized by George Steinbrenner for his nightlife habits detracting from his play, Wells has since tried to backtrack on that and other statements. In the end however, he appears to have admitted only that "Sometimes I'm too honest and that's probably my own fault."
If it isn't his fault, it must be Roger Clemens' fault. Clemens was oft-critiqued in Wells' book, going as far as to note that "Derek Jeter and Scott Brosius have taken beanballs to the head from this guy and a huge percentage of this team hates Clemens' guts." and then adding that "Trust me, if I were Mike Piazza, that broken bat would still be shoved up Roger's (butt)."
Naturally, none of this has gone over well in the Yankees' front office or in the Commissioner For Life, Bud "Hot Dog and a Diet Soda" Selig.
The Yankees have played it cool since the word of the books' contents first came out but GM Brian Cashman noted that that Wells' book "tarnishes the Yankees' image.".
Selig wants to read David Wells' autobiography before deciding whether baseball should take disciplinary action against the New York Yankees' pitcher.
Lest you think Wells' derogatory comments were reserved for New York players, he also gave a shout out to his ex-fans in Toronto:
"Honest to God, the Toronto fans suck," Wells wrote "Even though this underpaid, understaffed, under-loved little team is right in the thick of the hunt, right into the last week of 2000, these mouth-breathers in the stands have no idea what we've accomplished. The wool-hat wankers just boo relentlessly. I've never been so happy to end a season on the road."
Ever since September, when a 5-foot-7, 150-pound man named Rocco knocked out two of the 6 feet 4, 245 pounds Wells' teeth, his slide toward oblivion has seemed inevitable. Chances are, when, as a 39 year old man, you're still out getting drunk until dawn and getting into diner brawls, your future as a major league pitcher can't be very bright.
Not that David Wells ever seemed very bright to begin with. He just seems compelled to have to prove it to us over and over again.
In a spring training already rife with controversy over the death of Orioles' pitcher Steve Bechler and an accompanying debate over the use of the substance ephedra, the foremost foot-in-mouth disease expert David Wells has finally weighed in:
"As of right now, I'd estimate 25 to 40 percent of all major leaguers are juiced. But that number's fast rising." Wells wrote in "Perfect I'm Not! Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches and Baseball", an autobiography scheduled for release next month. Although Wells has since tailed off the quotes of his own autobiography, only last year Jose Canseco estimated up to 85 percent of major leaguers used steroids, and Ken Caminiti said half did before retracting his statement, saying he thought the percentage was far lower.
Between steroids, amphetemines and ephedra, today's baseball aspirants may well be better served studying pharmacology than attending baseball school.
As everyone's probably already heard, Wells didn't limit his stupidity to one category. In that same autobiography he wrote that he was "half-drunk" when he pitched his perfect game in 1998. While this might be a great service to teammate Derek Jeter, already criticized by George Steinbrenner for his nightlife habits detracting from his play, Wells has since tried to backtrack on that and other statements. In the end however, he appears to have admitted only that "Sometimes I'm too honest and that's probably my own fault."
If it isn't his fault, it must be Roger Clemens' fault. Clemens was oft-critiqued in Wells' book, going as far as to note that "Derek Jeter and Scott Brosius have taken beanballs to the head from this guy and a huge percentage of this team hates Clemens' guts." and then adding that "Trust me, if I were Mike Piazza, that broken bat would still be shoved up Roger's (butt)."
Naturally, none of this has gone over well in the Yankees' front office or in the Commissioner For Life, Bud "Hot Dog and a Diet Soda" Selig.
The Yankees have played it cool since the word of the books' contents first came out but GM Brian Cashman noted that that Wells' book "tarnishes the Yankees' image.".
Selig wants to read David Wells' autobiography before deciding whether baseball should take disciplinary action against the New York Yankees' pitcher.
Lest you think Wells' derogatory comments were reserved for New York players, he also gave a shout out to his ex-fans in Toronto:
"Honest to God, the Toronto fans suck," Wells wrote "Even though this underpaid, understaffed, under-loved little team is right in the thick of the hunt, right into the last week of 2000, these mouth-breathers in the stands have no idea what we've accomplished. The wool-hat wankers just boo relentlessly. I've never been so happy to end a season on the road."
Ever since September, when a 5-foot-7, 150-pound man named Rocco knocked out two of the 6 feet 4, 245 pounds Wells' teeth, his slide toward oblivion has seemed inevitable. Chances are, when, as a 39 year old man, you're still out getting drunk until dawn and getting into diner brawls, your future as a major league pitcher can't be very bright.
Not that David Wells ever seemed very bright to begin with. He just seems compelled to have to prove it to us over and over again.
Thursday, February 27, 2003
Mi Vida Loca
It isn't often that one of those teary-eyed sports documentaries moves me. Most of the time the damage to the athlete in question is self-inflicted and no amount of operatic drama on the tragic rise and fall would change it.
But I have to admit, the piece done by James Brown for HBO on Johnny Tapia which aired last night was not the standard fare of good athlete gone self-destructively bad.
While listening to his up and down saga which recently culminated with a cocaine-induced coma, I couldn't really get a grip on why Johnny Tapia was different from any number of other charismatic athletes who veered off the course of a successful career and on to a path toward tragedy.
Not until I heard the story of his mother getting raped, stabbed 22 times with scissors and a screwdriver and killed right before his eyes without ever getting a chance to say goodbye to her.
While he was spilling his guts to James Brown, holding back tears over his continued rage, over his battles with addiction, over the bipolar disorder that helps create and simultaneously destroy his angels and his monsters, I couldn't help but marvel at not only how much he's overcome in his life, but that he even has a life any more to overcome.
No doubt his wife Teresa's angelic demeanor is a great help. At one point Brown asked Tapia if he cared whether or not he lived or died and Tapia replied that while he loved boxing and he loved his family, he didn't mind dying if it quelled his inner pain. Brown, in a respectable fit of good interviewing, then turned to Teresa and asked her how that reality made her feel. I don't recall her exact quote but something along the lines of how she would sometimes stare at him for long moments of time trying to remember every detail of his face and his smile because she really couldn't be sure whether or not she'd ever see him again.
The best part about the piece is that the fact that Tapia eventually (after a 3 year drug suspension) became the WBO junior bantamweight champion is almost irrelevent to the human interest angle of the story. He could have been any individual with a terrible history and an unrelenting struggle to survive and it wouldn't have diminished the impact one iota.
I don't know when/if it will be rebroadcast by HBO but if you get a chance to see it, the time spent is well worth it. It isn't often that I'd feel sorry for a guy with a 125 page arrest record but I think in this case, he's one down and out athlete I'll be rooting for to make it.
It isn't often that one of those teary-eyed sports documentaries moves me. Most of the time the damage to the athlete in question is self-inflicted and no amount of operatic drama on the tragic rise and fall would change it.
But I have to admit, the piece done by James Brown for HBO on Johnny Tapia which aired last night was not the standard fare of good athlete gone self-destructively bad.
While listening to his up and down saga which recently culminated with a cocaine-induced coma, I couldn't really get a grip on why Johnny Tapia was different from any number of other charismatic athletes who veered off the course of a successful career and on to a path toward tragedy.
Not until I heard the story of his mother getting raped, stabbed 22 times with scissors and a screwdriver and killed right before his eyes without ever getting a chance to say goodbye to her.
While he was spilling his guts to James Brown, holding back tears over his continued rage, over his battles with addiction, over the bipolar disorder that helps create and simultaneously destroy his angels and his monsters, I couldn't help but marvel at not only how much he's overcome in his life, but that he even has a life any more to overcome.
No doubt his wife Teresa's angelic demeanor is a great help. At one point Brown asked Tapia if he cared whether or not he lived or died and Tapia replied that while he loved boxing and he loved his family, he didn't mind dying if it quelled his inner pain. Brown, in a respectable fit of good interviewing, then turned to Teresa and asked her how that reality made her feel. I don't recall her exact quote but something along the lines of how she would sometimes stare at him for long moments of time trying to remember every detail of his face and his smile because she really couldn't be sure whether or not she'd ever see him again.
The best part about the piece is that the fact that Tapia eventually (after a 3 year drug suspension) became the WBO junior bantamweight champion is almost irrelevent to the human interest angle of the story. He could have been any individual with a terrible history and an unrelenting struggle to survive and it wouldn't have diminished the impact one iota.
I don't know when/if it will be rebroadcast by HBO but if you get a chance to see it, the time spent is well worth it. It isn't often that I'd feel sorry for a guy with a 125 page arrest record but I think in this case, he's one down and out athlete I'll be rooting for to make it.
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
No Vets In Hall
The redesigned Veterans Committee failed to elect anyone to the Hall of Fame on Wednesday.
There was alot said locally about Gil Hodges' chances. He collected over 100 RBI for seven consecutive years (1949-55)and hit 20 or more HR 11 straight seasons (1949-59)with 14 lifetime grand slams, 3rd highest ever. He hit the first home run in Mets history and was even the manager for the Amazin Mets of 1969. But other numbers diminished his chances: he had a .273 lifetime, didn't even crack the 2000 hit mark and never won an MVP award. By all accounts, a wonderful teammate and a true gentleman but sorry Gil, not a Hall of Famer. He came up 11 votes short.
Big news, Hideko Matsui's root canal and his one missed day of practice. "No problem," Matsui said through an interpreter. "Just one tooth. It didn't hurt as much as I thought." What I'm wondering is on a slow news day, is the Japanese mediagoing to start reporting on the size and substance of his stool samples?
*****
I like Willis Reed just as much as the next guy but his statement in today's NY Post was just not temerarious enough. I understand even ex-athletes speak in clichés and spend too much time overstating the obvious, but this was too much:
"IF [the Knicks] had a great center, they'd be a playoff team,"
That's right Willis and as Stephen Wright once said: "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
Reed went on to add that "a young Patrick Ewing" would ease the Knick woes. How young is Willis talking about? I'm not sure how much a 12 year old Patrick Ewing would help even the Knicks.
But you gotta hand it to him, you can't pull anything over on ole Willis, can you? I'm just wondering why he wouldn't want "a young Wilt Chamberlain" or "a young Lew Alcindor" instead. I mean Patrick never even won a World Championship. Geez, no wonder Willis is a senior vice president of player development and scouting for the Nets while I'm just a Labor Statistic.
*****
Before the trading deadline, the Nets coach Byron Scott was asked if he would have traded Keith Van Horn for Sprewell.
"No, I don't like guys who are on their own time. Spree comes to practice when he wants to, comes to games when he wants to. He sets a bad example for other guys."
Sprewell said Scott's derogatory remarks last week came off as "immature."
Sprewell also said he may approach Scott and ask him if he really said them. The last time a coach got under Spree's skin, well...
Look for Scott's throat to be evading the large hands of Sprewell by hiding somewhere behind Kenyon Martin ample physique provided Kenyon's fiancee isn't having any "health issues" again and Kenyon can actually make it to the game tonight.
Prediction: Nets 97, Knicks 93.
The redesigned Veterans Committee failed to elect anyone to the Hall of Fame on Wednesday.
There was alot said locally about Gil Hodges' chances. He collected over 100 RBI for seven consecutive years (1949-55)and hit 20 or more HR 11 straight seasons (1949-59)with 14 lifetime grand slams, 3rd highest ever. He hit the first home run in Mets history and was even the manager for the Amazin Mets of 1969. But other numbers diminished his chances: he had a .273 lifetime, didn't even crack the 2000 hit mark and never won an MVP award. By all accounts, a wonderful teammate and a true gentleman but sorry Gil, not a Hall of Famer. He came up 11 votes short.
Big news, Hideko Matsui's root canal and his one missed day of practice. "No problem," Matsui said through an interpreter. "Just one tooth. It didn't hurt as much as I thought." What I'm wondering is on a slow news day, is the Japanese mediagoing to start reporting on the size and substance of his stool samples?
*****
I like Willis Reed just as much as the next guy but his statement in today's NY Post was just not temerarious enough. I understand even ex-athletes speak in clichés and spend too much time overstating the obvious, but this was too much:
"IF [the Knicks] had a great center, they'd be a playoff team,"
That's right Willis and as Stephen Wright once said: "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
Reed went on to add that "a young Patrick Ewing" would ease the Knick woes. How young is Willis talking about? I'm not sure how much a 12 year old Patrick Ewing would help even the Knicks.
But you gotta hand it to him, you can't pull anything over on ole Willis, can you? I'm just wondering why he wouldn't want "a young Wilt Chamberlain" or "a young Lew Alcindor" instead. I mean Patrick never even won a World Championship. Geez, no wonder Willis is a senior vice president of player development and scouting for the Nets while I'm just a Labor Statistic.
*****
Before the trading deadline, the Nets coach Byron Scott was asked if he would have traded Keith Van Horn for Sprewell.
"No, I don't like guys who are on their own time. Spree comes to practice when he wants to, comes to games when he wants to. He sets a bad example for other guys."
Sprewell said Scott's derogatory remarks last week came off as "immature."
Sprewell also said he may approach Scott and ask him if he really said them. The last time a coach got under Spree's skin, well...
Look for Scott's throat to be evading the large hands of Sprewell by hiding somewhere behind Kenyon Martin ample physique provided Kenyon's fiancee isn't having any "health issues" again and Kenyon can actually make it to the game tonight.
Prediction: Nets 97, Knicks 93.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
New York Minute
More Evidence of Howe laid back Artie is:
Right in the middle of yesterday's intrasquad game, there he was behind home plate, chatting it up with Sigourney Weaver while poor rookie Aaron Heilman was sweating it out, trying to get some pitches over the plate. John Franco presented Weaver with one of those hideous LSD-induced orange Spring Training jerseys with her name on it. Oddly enough, no one on the Mets seemed to think having her stand behind home plate in the middle of a game was distracting. I can't help but wonder what kind of distraction it would have been if Anna Kournikova instead of Sigourney Weaver had been standing behind home plate.
The good news yesterday was that the Mets took the intrasquad game in a convincing 6-4 victory.
While I'm happy that Jeremy Burnitz slammed the Mets' first competitive homer of the spring in the second inning yesterday, I can't help but wonder what sort of dangerous omen this is for Pedro Astacio's development that it was his fastball that Burnitz sent flying off into the distance. Burnitz also hit a double yesterday and drove in three runs. Sigourney Weaver hit a grand slam and drew three intentional walks.
Here's some good debate material for Mets followers: who is the more dangerously incompetent fielder at his position: Roger Cedeño in center field or Ty Wigginton fending off ground balls in the hot corner?
They say Fat Mo lost 20 pounds and is down to 258 pounds. Dunno who is doing the calculus for the Mets here but last time I looked, it takes more than 20 to get to 258 from 300 plus. It's never a good size when your weight is higher than your batting average.
Lastly, thanks to The Great Satan Quarterly for turning me on to Fire Steve Phillips.com, a wonderful website dedicated to the serious business of helping bring Steve Phillips' time as New York Mets general manager to an end immediately.
*****
Yao Ming makes his MSG debut tonight against the Knicks. I only wish Marcus Camby would be around for it. If you remember, Camby is the guy who has those Chinese symbols tattoo'd on his arm. Once or twice, he tried to explain, in very ambiguous terms, what the symbols mean but frankly, I always had the impression he had no idea what they meant and was just bluffing. I'd have liked to have seen Yao Ming give us the "real" definition. It's probably some ancient Chinese proverb that means "Sometimes a good crutch is often better than a bad foot."
More Evidence of Howe laid back Artie is:
Right in the middle of yesterday's intrasquad game, there he was behind home plate, chatting it up with Sigourney Weaver while poor rookie Aaron Heilman was sweating it out, trying to get some pitches over the plate. John Franco presented Weaver with one of those hideous LSD-induced orange Spring Training jerseys with her name on it. Oddly enough, no one on the Mets seemed to think having her stand behind home plate in the middle of a game was distracting. I can't help but wonder what kind of distraction it would have been if Anna Kournikova instead of Sigourney Weaver had been standing behind home plate.
The good news yesterday was that the Mets took the intrasquad game in a convincing 6-4 victory.
While I'm happy that Jeremy Burnitz slammed the Mets' first competitive homer of the spring in the second inning yesterday, I can't help but wonder what sort of dangerous omen this is for Pedro Astacio's development that it was his fastball that Burnitz sent flying off into the distance. Burnitz also hit a double yesterday and drove in three runs. Sigourney Weaver hit a grand slam and drew three intentional walks.
Here's some good debate material for Mets followers: who is the more dangerously incompetent fielder at his position: Roger Cedeño in center field or Ty Wigginton fending off ground balls in the hot corner?
They say Fat Mo lost 20 pounds and is down to 258 pounds. Dunno who is doing the calculus for the Mets here but last time I looked, it takes more than 20 to get to 258 from 300 plus. It's never a good size when your weight is higher than your batting average.
Lastly, thanks to The Great Satan Quarterly for turning me on to Fire Steve Phillips.com, a wonderful website dedicated to the serious business of helping bring Steve Phillips' time as New York Mets general manager to an end immediately.
*****
Yao Ming makes his MSG debut tonight against the Knicks. I only wish Marcus Camby would be around for it. If you remember, Camby is the guy who has those Chinese symbols tattoo'd on his arm. Once or twice, he tried to explain, in very ambiguous terms, what the symbols mean but frankly, I always had the impression he had no idea what they meant and was just bluffing. I'd have liked to have seen Yao Ming give us the "real" definition. It's probably some ancient Chinese proverb that means "Sometimes a good crutch is often better than a bad foot."
